Time sure does fly by whenever I keep myself busy. School. Work. Athalia. Repeat. I wish I could say the cause of time passing by so fast was out of enjoyment. It wasn't. Ever since that night, which was about a month ago now, my mind has been on a kind of autopilot. It's my defense mechanism. I just shut down. I keep doing the same things, even do them in the same way, but it's different. If I try to find joy in something, I am just opening myself up to every other emotion. The best way to let my heart heal was to shut everything out. Turn everything off. In other words, go through the motions. Unfortunately, or fortunately, however you want to look at it, it has proven difficult this time around.
My parents, who I assume are fully aware of my habit to do this, have been more pressing now than in the past. They poke and prod, trying to get any information out of me they can. I think if I have to hear my mom's speech about how they are here for me one more time I might get sick to my stomach. Aside from my parents, there is Tyler and my co-workers, more particularly my manager, Julie. I try my best to keep an open mind when it comes to Tyler, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult. Hell, I've even snapped on him a couple times recently over the stupidest things. I always immediately apologize afterward, but there is only so much an apology can do.
I will say, he is quite the trooper. He gets a little flustered at me sometimes, but he's hanging in there, by my side, just like he said he would. He tries his best. At school he makes a point to be with me as much as possible, whether that's just walking with me somewhere or sitting in class. Our conversations are even more one sided than they were before, I barely offer any input anymore as I listen to him babble on. As much as I want to be grateful for what he is doing, it's hard. My heart just keeps screaming to be left alone, and I have to force myself to stay around him. It's the least I can do, I know he has to be hurting in some way too. I mean, it's not just me that she abandoned, she abandoned him too.
I guess that just leaves my manager, Julie. I don't really talk about her much any more, especially after meeting Tyler and Jen, but she's been there, all along. She would sit and listen to my rambling about the adventures we were going on. Every shift. Never failed. Even if she initiated the conversation, I would take it over and start yapping about this, that, or the other. Which is weird, since it's the polar opposite of my personality. However, she noticed something was off within five minutes of my first shift after the incident. She drug me, literally, to the back and pinned me up against the wall demanding answers. Of course, I denied anything being wrong. After minutes of continuous questions from her, I broke away with the excuse "I have work to do," choking back tears as I walked away from her.
Tonight was another long night of the usual grind. I crawled into bed, having just spent the last of my remaining energy in the world of Athalia. My alarm clock read 2:00 am in big, neon blue, digital numbers. I'm only going to be getting about 4 hours of sleep tonight. I sighed as I tried to get myself comfortable, tossing and turning a couple of times. It was going to be hard getting to sleep with all of these thoughts swirling around in my mind, especially with the lingering thoughts of my conversation with the old man just a few minutes ago.
~Flashback~
"You've grown strong, young warrior," the old man walked around me as I knelt in the middle of the training room that I've spent so much time in.
I wasn't kneeling out of respect or anything, I was just flat out exhausted. Bright, ice blue etchings covered the entire span of the floor. It expanded outwards in a circular pattern, each layer of circle connecting to its outer sibling in several ways. The space created between the circles was occupied with text in some fancy looking font script, it bore similarities to an Old English script I saw once. I didn't know the meaning of the words, in fact, they flat out confused me. It was like gibberish almost. I didn't care about that flavor text though, for the goal of this exercise was concentration. The further the markings etched themselves into the stone away from me, the harder it was for me to make that happen.
I had tried this exercise many, many times before. I would kneel in the middle of the room, placing both of my hands flat on the ground. After exhaling a deep breath, I would concentrate as hard as I could on channeling all of my energy into my hands. The markings, that bore extreme similarity to the rings and text on the ground, that covered the majority of my skin would glow the same ice blue. The rest took care of itself; as long as I held my concentration, it would keep expanding. This time was different, though. This was the first time that I managed to cover the scale of the room. The old man was quite impressed and pleased with himself, I might add.
"You've done well," the old man continued his slow pace around me as I attempted to stand up. I wasn't physically exhausted, but mentally. Just the simple notion of sending the order from my brain to my muscles to move was proving difficult. Nevertheless, I finally made it to my feet.
"You have certainly proven yourself worthy of the power I have bestowed upon you," the old man finally settled in front of me, both hands behind his back as he looked into my eyes, "Every challenge I have given you, you have surpassed. I couldn't be more proud. However, this is just the beginning for you. I have taught you everything that I can, now it is up to you to go forth on your own path..."
Is it just me, or does this sound like some cheesy, tutorial level bull spit? I swear his speech is following the how-to guide on tutorials. Here's a special power, only you can do this, blah blah blah. Oh shit, he's still talking.
"...You will face many challenges on your journey, and will need to learn many things. You must always remember, young warrior," he peered deeply into my eyes, kind of freaking me out, "you mustn't be afraid of failure. Failure breeds success. You must try, and try again, when you fail. That is the only way you will succeed. Now...I have something for you for your accomplishment," with a swift flick of his hand a pop up modal appeared in front of my face, letting me know that I had just received an item.
Elemental Cloak. Ha, go figure on the name. Just from the look of it, it appeared to just be one of your typical cloaks, popular among thieves and hunters. Guess I better put it on. I swiftly opened up my menu, navigating through the various tabs until I opened up a window with my character standing in it, surrounded by all of the attached equipment. With a simple drag and drop, I equipped the cape. At the same moment, a white flash surrounded me as the cape burst into existence on my body with a flutter.
Looking over it on my body, it still just appeared to be a normal cloak. The entire thing was made of black fabric, didn't seem to be any sort of high quality fabric either. The only thing that stood out about it was the ice blue trimming that glowed along all of the edges, but any kind of aesthetics like that could easily be done by a tailor.
"So my prize for completing the Elementalist tutorial is a normal cloak?" I joked, giving out a half hearted laugh at the end of my sentence.
The old man simply smiled at me. He raised his hand out in front of himself, holding out two fingers, then, with a swift flick upwards, a crystal burst through the floor. It appeared to just form out of thin air. It was just about as wide as me, and probably about a foot taller. The ice looking crystal was such a bright, light blue that it almost gave off a white appearance. That's when I noticed that I could see my reflection in the front of it. Oh, so it's like a fancy, crystal mirror thing.
I paused and studied myself in the mirror. The cloak draped over my entire body, ending just about where my boots started. Standing with my arms beside me, the cloak entirely covered my body, including my arms, which would be useful for a surprise attack as the enemy couldn't see my hands. At the top, right behind my head, a hood was thrown back. I flipped it up over my head, the thing nearly hung so low that it covered my eyes, but oddly enough I could still see perfectly clear. Gotta love game logic. I did notice in the mirror that it became incredibly difficult to see my face. It was there, I could kind of see it, but anyone looking at me would definitely have a hard time recognizing me. That's when I noticed it.
"WHAT?!" My eyes shot open. I burst forward, grabbing both hands on either side of the mirror, the sudden burst causing the hood to fly off and rest on my back. My markings. The markings that covered nearly my entire body, including my face, to my disappointment, were gone. I had become so used to seeing them in this world that it was just like they were a part of me. Now, they're gone! I shot a questioning look around the crystal at the old man, who was smiling.
"So you noticed?" He seemed quite pleased with himself.
My face quickly shot to one of annoyance, my eyebrows scrunched up as I gave him a glare, "You going to explain this to me or not, old man?"
"The cloak you have there," he pointed to it, as if I didn't know what cloak we were talking about, "is a one of a kind item. I had it specially made just for you."
"One of a kind?" I couldn't help but look at the cloak in a new light now. It wasn't every day that you came across an item that was unique in the game, but then again, no use having a unique item that isn't helpful.
The old man gave me a nod at my rhetorical question, then continued, "On the surface, as you can see, it looks just like a normal cloak. An item that anyone in the game can obtain, and customize to their liking. This is by design, it'll draw less attention that way."
I was about to ask a question, but he started his next sentence with a bit of assertion as if to say shut up, I'm not finished yet. "You see, our conversation from our first meeting has been on my mind as of late. You had concerns of other players and their judgment toward you, whether that be positive or negative."
"Yeah..." I remember that conversation, boy just thinking about that whole conversation makes me feel like an idiot. Of course, I think back on a lot of things in my life and think how idiotic I was to have done them.
"That cloak will hide all of the physical attributes that come with being an Elementalist. As a bonus, of sorts, it will hide your name and mask your presence to make identifying you...difficult," he had to think of the right word there at the end.
"So as long as I wear this cloak, I don't have to worry about getting mobbed because of my appearance..."
"However...there is a catch."
"There usually is," I shot the old man a side smirk as I leaned up against the fancy mirror.
"The way the cloak works is by suppressing your Elementalist talent, so..."
"...as long as I wear the cloak, I can't use it," I finished his sentence as I failed to materialize a knife in my hand.
"Well, I wouldn't say you can't use it. It would just be extremely difficult for you to do so."
"So about these bonus abilities you were talking about. How resistant is it to the perception skill?"
The perception skill is something that every person takes note to raise if you are going to be going out in the wilderness to fight monsters, or even other players. The skill itself has a broad range of helpful abilities, such as being able to "sense" an enemy, kind of like a sixth sense. One of the skills is being able to read player names, an often overlooked ability. A player can choose to hide their name, or try to, but it will have varying degrees of success based on the other players around him or her. The higher the perception skill, the easier it is to see a person's name. With all of the skills in Athalia, most being way more exciting than perception, it often goes overlooked. However, this is the very skill that bounty hunters and trackers use to track down and / or mark targets.
The old man's grin grew, "You needn't worry about that. Not even the highest perception skill can read through this cloak's ability."
Wow. This thing is going to be way more handy than it looks. Wearing it, I can walk through towns and other populated areas without having to worry about being blasted with questions. My guess is that the old man added those two "bonus" features in the the event that my talent gets discovered by the wrong crowd. Being able to conceal my identity will help protect me if, or when, rather, I get a target put on my back. I gave out a big sigh, I just hope this whole thing doesn't come back around to bite me in the ass.
The old man walked toward me, resting a hand on my shoulder as soon as he was within arm's length, "The next time you appear in this world, you will be transported to th nearest populated town. This is the end of your training."
Through all the back and forth, it never really hit me what was happening, until he spoke that last sentence. I had lost track of the amount of hours I spent in this room. This bare, dull room and the old man were the only witnesses to the amount of effort I had put into this new talent. Now, I was leaving this place, to rejoin the rest of the world. My chest suddenly got immensely heavy. I was happy that I was finally leaving this place and rejoining the outside world, but at the same time a sort of fear struck over me. What do I do now? The question repeated over and over in my mind.
Do I even know how to interact with the outside world anymore? Thoughts began flooding through my brain of life in Athalia before all of this. The countless hours I spent traveling around this world, going on quests, overcoming challenges. Then...those most recent memories came up...the ones of my time with Tyler and Jen in this world. The incredible amount of fun we had going on adventures together. The weight in my chest grew twice as large whenever I pictured her face.
"You plan to compete in the Battle of Blades two weeks from now, correct?" My thoughts were dispersed by the sound of the old man's voice.
"Huh?" Was the only word I could spit out. He's right. The Battle of Blades is a mere two weeks away now. Kind of ironic that I would forget about it after worrying for so long about completing my training in time for it. The old man could see I was going through my thoughts and patiently waited for a better answer, "Yes...at least, I think so."
The Battle of Blades. The single-most, exciting tournament in all of Athalia. Naturally, there are a bunch of small tournaments and games that pop up all over the world over the course of the year, but none of them compare to the Battle of Blades. Any player in the entire world could compete. No minimum level, and also no level cap. It had one purpose: to find the strongest player in Athalia. The tournament was so big that you didn't even have to win it to become popular. If you managed to place in the top sixteen, you were practically an instant celebrity the next day. Not to mention that the top sixteen matches are broadcast on national TV. Yeah. It's that big.
The tournament itself wasn't necessarily important to me, I mean, I'm not the kind of person that would cope well with fame and fortune. I just enjoy the fights. The best of the best come to this tournament. It's the perfect opportunity to see how you stack up against the world. You get to see an incredible variety of fighting styles and weapons, for that matter. There is nothing more satisfying than going all out against an evenly matched opponent, regardless of winning or losing. I guess that's a sugar coated way of saying that it's my way of proving to myself that I am strong in this world. Despite being knocked out in the early rounds last time, I will never forget the sensations of the all out battles I was in. It's something truly magical.
The old man's face seemed to tense up with my weary response. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, as if he was swallowing whatever words he was about to exhale. Finally, he seemed to put the right words together, "I believe it will be the perfect opportunity to showcase how you've grown. If not to others, than to yourself."
"Yeah..." I gave out another weak response, scratching the back of my head nervously, "I'm...just a little bit concerned about revealing my talent." It's true, as I voiced in my first meeting with the old man, the thought of unveiling my unique talent to the world terrified me. I was the kind of person that stuck with the crowd, that would go the absurdly long way around in order to avoid standing out. The thought of people finding out about this unique talent, and inevitably swarming me with questions about it...terrified me to no end.
The old man gave out a pretty big sigh, as if disappointed by my hesitation, or maybe that was frustration? "Let me put it this way to you, young warrior," a sharpness took over his eyes as he pierced a gaze at me, "One way or another, at some point down the line, people will find out. It's inevitable."
He was right. Besides, I should be excited about this, not terrified over it. I remember the days of my youth whenever I would be in awe at the players that were tremendously strong, often time carrying the best items in the game, some of them unique items as well. The players always had an aura about them, like they owned that right. Quite the opposite of how I was acting right now. Quite frankly, I'm acting like a scared little girl.
"It is going to happen," the old man said again, as if to reiterate the fact into my mind, but then suddenly he swung around, facing away from me, throwing his hands up into the air, as his voice boasted, "So why not do it in the most prestigious tournament that this world has to offer?! Why not unveil the beauty and power of your talent in front of tens of thousands of roaring spectators?!" He shot a glance back at me, "The crowd would go wild!"
If you ask me, the old man's personality just took a crazy one-eighty. His voice bellowed with a spark that was a combination of excitement and encouragement. It was as if he had been waiting all this time, and he was finally ready to unleash his teachings onto the world, in the form of me. I gotta say, it kind of pumped me up. Just hearing his fiery words got me thinking more about the tournament, and how cool it would be to stand in front of all of those people, "...or even better, in front of national television."
I didn't mean to say that last part of loud, but I most definitely did. The old man shot the biggest grin at me that he could manage, then slammed his hands down on both of my shoulders, "That's it, young warrior! That's the spirit! Hold nothing back, and you may just have..." he paused, "no, you do have what it takes to make it that far, and even beyond!"
"Yeah!" I bellowed out a holler of my own, pumped up from the inspiring speech. I have no idea if I will be able to make it that far, but by god I am going to give it my all. If going all out in a battle in the early rounds of the tournament was satisfying, I can't even imagine how the end of a battle feels on national television, in front of the roaring crowd of a jam-packed stadium of fellow players. I clinched my fists together, I'm going to do this. I'm going to put everything I have into this tournament.
~End Flashback~
I tossed over in my bed once more, that had to be the hundredth time I had done so in an effort to get comfortable. My mind was still full of thoughts of Athalia, more specifically, the upcoming tournament. Unfortunately, I still had life to deal with. Between now and then, I still had the normal grind of work and school.
Then, as it always has since that night, my mind slowly started to transition back into the me of this world, the one that was weak...and heartbroken. It has gotten to the point where I can physically feel the heartache taking over my mind and body. Like a disease, the pain spreads from my heart to my entire body. During this initial transition back to reality, I've found it nearly impossible to hold back tears. It felt like I had a brick in my throat as I tried to choke back, but ultimately let out a soft sob as the beginning of tears started to stream down my face.
My hands, that were lying on my pillow, slowly, but surely, turned into fists, grasping onto the innocent pillow. My tears and sobbing were always accompanied by anger. I gritted my teeth as I desperately tried to hold everything back. I could feel my fingers locking up from gripping the pillow so hard for so long. This pain wouldn't go away. My mind filled itself with thoughts of her. No matter how hard I tried to push them out, they were here to stay. I did the only thing that I could ultimately do in this world, where I am powerless. I let out a silent, inward scream as I lost constraint on my tears. When I was alone at night, there was nothing I could do to keep it from happening.
A/N: Hey there! How about that chapter? I feel like in this chapter we got a good sense of the different of Nicholas in the real world, and him in the virtual world. The two parts seem to be drifting farther and farther away, but will that make him lose his grip on reality? On another note, The Battle of Blades is two weeks away! How will our hero do in a world wide tournament? Who knows. See you next chapter!