The Next Day
Ciara's POV
The sun suddenly entered my room much faster than I had anticipated last night, enough to make it seem as though I did not sleep at all last night. In turn, it caused me to stir and turn away from it in an attempt to sleep in more, pulling the covers over me even more and keeping my eyes shut. Unfortunately, the sunlight had already fallen upon my face and forced me to move, telling me that it was time to wake up and not to be lazy. My eyes opened, azure eyes glaring at the wall in front of me before tossing the covers off my body haphazardly and sitting up, all the while fixing the sleeve of my blue tank top after it fell off my shoulders.
As much as I wanted to stay asleep for just another few minutes more, something in the back of my mind told me that today was going to be a rather odd day. Why such a thing was coming to mind was beyond my knowledge, but it sure upset me in an instant. I hated having odd days; it was the kind of day that things would just be topsy-turvy, as if everything was suddenly out of balance and I was the cause of it. Days like that just seemed to throw me off task and distract me, and I hated feeling that way.
Groaning at the thought of having such a day come to pass, I sighed and got to my feet, running a hand through my now messy hair and bangs. The coldness of the rug made me shiver a little, but it meant nothing to me at that point. Even after years of living out in the hot dry desert, the coolness did not affect me in the slightest. After stretching and feeling a few of my bones crack before relaxing, I sauntered over to the dresser placed right across from my bed, which Casey had placed in there and put more clothes for me to wear in the closet while I was out. Atop of it was a large mirror and some accessories that may be used sometime in the future, like gloves and even some jewelry. It was not a lot of jewelry; just some earrings and the necklace given to me by a childhood friend. A few brushes and combs were there was well, neatly lined as if awaiting orders from a commander. They were neatly placed on the dresser, making it easy to find. I felt a small, barely noticeable smile form on my lips. It was rather...nice, I suppose...of her to do such things for me, even if I was not the best guest in the world. It made me wonder why she would act that way. What did I ever do to deserve her kindness? It was a question I could not fully understand, and something told me that I would not know for a long time.
Shaking my head, I opened the top dresser and pulled out a matching set of undergarments – no doubt thanks to Casey as a bit of a joke – before closing it and moving on to my closet. The sun still beat brightly against the window, reflecting and creating a glare. Frowning, I moved over to the curtains and closed it enough to block out the rays, but enough to shed some light in the room without the use of electricity. Once that was over and done with, I walked over and opened the closet door, scanning over the attire that was available to me. Much to my fortune, Casey gave me clothes that were discreet and modest, seeing as how I was very uncomfortable with wearing such attire and having people stare. My eyes narrowed a moment, thinking back on the memories of home, of Spargus. Then again, I wore some revealing clothes back then; not enough to consider myself a "prostitute," but enough to say it was not very modest. My reason was because of the weather, and it was damn good reason. Had it been a little cooler, the attire would change in an instant. That was besides the point, though. Point being I was still grateful to know that Casey understood that little problem of mine. Who knew what kind of clothes I would have been given if someone like the Baron picked something out for me to where?
Pushing that thought out of my mind after shivering uncomfortably, I simply pulled something out - a dark, long sleeved jacket with only three silver buttons, leaving it open for the under shirt (which was purple) to be seen - and searched for some pants and shoes. It did not take very long, as I chose to wear of dark jeans and black buckled up boots, before shutting the closet door. For some reason, I found myself staring into nothing as I walked to the bathroom in order to shower. The pit of my stomach had an uncomfortable wrenching feeling, churning every now and again as I entered the bathroom and shut and locked the door. I was not sure why, though, and it was hard to figure out. Was it because I was worried about having an odd day? Was I sensing something that may cause some distress later in the day? Did I just have an upset stomach from dinner last night? I did not know, and that only further upset me as I stripped of my clothes. I suppose I was right, I thought as I entered the shower, turning it on and allowing the water to flow onto my body.
Oddly enough, it felt like I had not bathed in weeks, when in reality it was just yesterday that I cleaned my body. My eyes narrowed as my hair started to dampen and stick to my body. I frowned and attempted to pull the hair off me as I washed, but it just ended up in the same place. iI really need to look into getting a haircut/i, I told myself. Instead of constantly worrying about something as petty as my own hair, I decided to look on to something else, something I thought was a bit more important to me.
That subject was Erol.
Azure eyes closed as I started to wash my hair. How is that I was able to fall for the same trick as last time, I questioned almost harshly. I was still in disbelief over the fact that I had given Erol a third and final chance to redeem himself. Why would I give someone like him, someone who stabbed me in the back…twice…another chance? I should have killed him off when the opportunity arose, yet I chose to give him another chance. Why? Was it because I was so willing to forgive him? Did I want to believe that our relationship could be fixed? Maybe, but then again maybe not. Maybe I was trying to fool myself, fool the both of us, until thinking of ridiculous fantasies of renewing our friendship. Maybe I just wanted to feel like I had a chance, when in reality there was no chance at all. My eyes opened at that thought, allowing the shampoo to rinse out of my hair, trickle down my body and wash down the drain. Stop thinking like that, Ciara, I snapped at myself, looking over and grabbing the conditioner. There had to be a reason as to why I wanted to forgive Erol, why I wanted to forget everything in the past and look to the future, our future. Unfortunately, that reason was unclear, and it upset me even further.
After finishing with the conditioner and scrubbing it in, I cleaned the rest of my body, rinsed out my hair, and cut off the water. Once I rung out the water from most of my hair, I stepped out of the shower, picking up the towel that was nearby, and dried myself off. Then, I wrapped my hair in the towel and began putting on my clothes, starting with my undergarments, pants, and shoes. I chose to worry about the top once I took off the towel. It was great to have a room to myself, where I did not have to worry about people watching me or people feeling uncomfortable with seeing me without a shirt. However, that was a thought for another day. I picked the top along with the other articles of clothing left shrew along the sink and headed for the door, opening it and stepping out before heading over to the bed. When I looked at the time, I realized it was about ten in the morning, a normal time for me to wake up. Placing my clothes on the bed, I decided to leave my pajamas on the bed and place them the dirty clothes bin later - before I left the room, of course.
Removing the towel from atop my head, I shook out my hair and began putting on the purple undershirt, the spaghetti straps falling onto my shoulders comfortably and looking as though they would never slip. As I started to remove my hair from the shirt, a sudden sound - a whisper almost - stopped me in my tracks. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up instantly, causing me to shiver. It felt like someone else was in the room with me, watching me with a piercing gaze as it stared at the back of my head. Instead of acting like I knew it was there, I shrugged it off and and put on the jacket, pulling my hair out and allowing it to flow behind me. The gaze still felt like it was there, watching every single move I made, but I tried not to worry about it. Maybe the feeling would go away. After buttoning up the jacket, I took the pajamas, moved over to the closet, where the bin for dirty clothes was placed right next to it, and tossed them in before moving to the dresser.
I picked up the brush and began moving it through my blond locks, cursing myself for how long it had gotten and neglecting to get a haircut or at least cut it off myself. Despite its long length, it did not take very long to comb through it and remove any knots - it was relatively manageable despite my line of work, though there were days when I just wanted to tear it out. Once I was finished with my hair, I picked up the comb and went to work on my bangs. Since they were not in any specific style, it was relatively easy to brush through and make them appear decent. Once that was over and done with, I put the comb down, picked up the necklace of the Seal of Mar, and wrapped it around my hand, making sure that the small symbol sat comfortably in my hand before putting the gloves on. I stared at it for a moment, recalling all of the fond memories of the past in an instant, making me smile ever so slightly.
Suddenly, a voice I thought I would never hear again appeared.
"You know...you should burn that thing, right?"
My head shot to the mirror in front of me, only to gasp and step away from the dresser. The sight was one I had seen before, but at the same time wanted to avoid seeing ever again. It was my image, only the image was one that made me realize I was looking into the eyes of 'It.' By that, I meant I was referring to the monster that was forced inside of me, the creature that the Baron created nine years ago.
The first thing that immediately caught my eye was her blackened, void of color eyes, staring me down as if she was ready to pounce at her prey and tear it apart bitby bit. Just staring at them made me feel empty, as if I was swimming in nothing but darkness where no light could enter. Her skin was a deathly, almost purplish shade, and fangs appeared from under her upper lip; she almost had a vampire look to her form, only her skin was very faint, pale purple hue. Her hair, similar to my own, was now purple, with the bangs a much darker purple, almost black one could say, before turning into a regular purple color, replacing the blond locks altogether. Horns grew out of her head, but curled backward and partially away from the center. Instead of mirroring my horrified state, she had her frail hands on the dresser, her elongated black nails much more prominent than the rest, and they tapped against the wood as if itching for a fight...or something to snack on.
As I watched, I soon recalled the name I had decided to give her, since I did not want to refer to her with my own name. Azure eyes narrowed as I muttered one word: "Megaera…"
The fiend, properly named Megaera, giggled almost maniacally; it had been too long since her name had been called, and it had been too long since I had seen her face with my own two eyes.
"Long time no see, hm, Ciara." She spoke, flipping her dark purple bangs out of her face. It showed off her vanity and narcissism, two traits I greatly despised the most about her. "Been locked away in that tiny little head of yours for…six years now?" Her eyes closed and pursed her lips as if upset by that, but I knew the truth behind her ruse. "That's much too long to be put away."
Not wanting to listen to the crap she spewed out of her mouth, I harshly asked, "What the Hell do you want, Megaera?"
Her dark eyes opened again, staring at me with an almost menacing gaze, before giggling like a little child.
"I'm here to set you straight, my dear," she explained, moving so that her knees were on the dresser now. Despite what the image in the mirror showed, which was the moving of the brush, comb, among other things, not a single thing was moved on my side. "You've strayed much too far from your morals, and I'm here to remind you of them."
"What do you mean?" I inquired, standing up straight and keeping a harsh gaze.
"You vowed never to associate yourself with anyone here," Megaera explained, crossing her arms over her chest, "and yet you've found yourself speaking to the bastard that betrayed you years ago. Twice, if I'm not mistaken." My eyes shifted briefly; for the first time, she had a point. "I know you think I'm right, and yet you're off pretending none of it happened."
"I haven't forgotten," I quickly spoke. "I remember everything, and I won't let him back into my life so easily." It was at those words that she started to laugh maniacally. "What's so funny?" I questioned.
When she stopped, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You said that six years ago before getting stabbed in the back." She grinned as if playing a devilish game. "I find it hysterical that your so naïve about your own emotions."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. As much as I did not want to listen to what she had to say, she was raising a lot of points; it started to bother me a lot more than I wanted it to.
She closed her eyes, appearing as if she was holding in her laughter, before looking at me again. Then, she leaned forward, looking as if she would just fall against the mirror, but instead passed through it and onto my side. I blinked once at the sight, but was not really surprised by what was happening. After a moment, she started to crawl toward me in an almost predatory stance, her eyes never leaving mine as she made her way closer to me. When she was close enough to nearly be face to face with me, she stared at me for a long moment before uttering a few words: "I know you're in love with him, but you're too stubborn and prideful to admit it."
Azure eyes widened in surprise as I moved away from her, my legs hitting the bed but not knocking me over. That was not true; I could not be in love with him, especially not after what he had done to me. It was unrealistic.
In that instant, an entirely new light came to pass over me, revealing things that I probably never would have seen before. It raised a large amount of questions that really started to hit home. Was Megaera actually right about something for once? Was she speaking the truth when she claimed that I was in love with Erol? In my mind, I tried to shake it off, debunk such ridiculous accusations, but found it difficult to do such a thing. As I said, it was not true. I could not feel such emotions because I had pushed anything that I felt toward him so far into the back of my mind that they seemed non-existent. It was the refusal to accept them or think of them as anything more than just petty feelings, things that would just get in the way. Unfortunately, when Megaera brought up that little detail the way she did, it made me wonder something very important: Was it the sole reason that I was so willing to forgive Erol for what he had done in the past? Was it because I was supposedly in love with him that I desperately wanted to forgive him?
When another moment passed, my eyes narrowed harshly as I glared at Megaera, who was now just sitting on my dresser with her legs crossed.
"That's a lie," I hissed, standing up straight again. "How could I love someone who betrayed me twice?"
She laughed at that, twirling a piece of her bangs.
"You know you shouldn't do that, right?" She stated. When I sent her a confused look, she went on to say, "Push away your emotions and hide them away, I mean. It's not healthy, especially for someone like you."
I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms over my chest. "Explain."
Once I said that, she suddenly appeared in front of my face, causing me to jump and fall back onto the bed. After a moment, she grinned that damned grin of hers.
"If you don't stop pushing away your emotions, they'll only come back to bite you in the ass." She started to explain smoothly. "Eventually, now that you're around him along with spilling your guts about said past, those feelings will start to resurface. By then, you'll start to get worried, enough to think that you'll be betrayed once again. You'll start to think that he's plotting against you, trying to betray you a third time." I swallowed the lump in my throat as she moved closer to my face. "You'll think he's just messing with you again, contemplate spying him. You'll become obsessed with that idea, and soon come to think that everyone is out to get you. In the end," She smirked as her face was so close to mine that our noses touched briefly, lowering her voice to a menacing whisper, "your sanity will fly right out the window…and I'll be coming out to play…"
The moment she finished saying that, she started laughing maniacally just as I blinked. When I opened my eyes, she was gone, vanishing almost like magic and leaving behind the echo of her laughter in her wake. I looked about for a moment trying to find her, only to be left all alone once again. My head fell to the ground, sinking into the bed and hunching forward.
I hated when she left so abrubtly the way she did, when questions were left unanswered. She did that to me six years ago when she tried convincing me not to go running back to Erol like some lost puppy, claiming that I would be so disappointed I was lose my sanity in an instant. Despite the fact that I hated her guts to no end, she was not wrong about that - the proof was in the aftermath, meaning what I did to the city out of anger, rage, and the sense of betrayal. It made me wonder about now. Was I really going to start losing my mind at some point, believing that everyone would turn against me. So far, the people that despised or feared me were the Krimzon Guard, the Baron, and (despite her "friendly disposition") Rachel. The only people that were on my side as far as I knew, excluding the citizens of Spargus, was Casey and Erol. In the end, I was all alone. Maybe Megaera was onto something. Maybe I would eventually start to lose my mind, my sanity, and bring her back into the open to do as she so pleased.
I looked toward the mirror after a moment, staring at my reflection. My azure eyes were wide with anxiety, and I started to frighten myself a little. Deep down I had a feeling that she was indeed right, no matter how much I wanted to deny her words. If that was the case, it would only be a matter of time before my sanity would dissipate, and she would come out again to wreak havoc. Only this time, there would be no other chances; this time around, the entire city would fall to the ground, and never again would I be able to forgive Erol without releasing Megaera's rage. I looked at my hands, noticing them visibly shaking out of an unknown emotion. At least, that was what I told myself, but in reality I knew what it was. It was fear. Without having to think, I knew exactly what I was afraid of: I was afraid of losing Erol for the third time and never getting the chance to see him ever again.
Eyes narrowing, my head lowered and fell into my hands. Maybe Megaera was right. Maybe I really was falling for him all over again...