So sorry for not updating in a while… With finals, and all this shopping with my friends and family, I'm swamped. I've also recently been in a car accident, so I'm writing from the Hospital. I'll be fine, but out of boredom I've written this chapter, so enjoy!

Epiphany

"Michael, wait! Calm down." Michael would not stop running amuck like he had no self-control whatsoever. I couldn't let the boss see him like this, or he would start asking questions that would lead to realizations about his feelings towards a certain agent. "Where is she?! Give me a visual on her NOW!"

"Michael, she's on her way here on our finest and fastest private jet. She'll be here in a matter of seconds, so calm down. Percy cannot see how much you care about her."

"I don't care. If she dies, what's the point of living here, in this miserable world? I need her…. I NEED her, and she doesn't even know it." He shed a tear that made me feel like I could never feel happiness again. I could definitely feel the angst radiating off his body. He quickly turned away, and headed for the doors Nikita would be arriving in.

Michael's POV:

It's crazy to think that a few hours ago I was just sleeping soundly in my bed, and then BAM out of the blue, I get a call telling me that Nikita, the most important women in my heart, had just been shot on her 'all so harmless mission.' I can't even begin to express the pain that I feel in my chest. She was supposed to be his bodyguard as a plan B, but who knew someone was actually trying to kill Whitfield? Who knew she would risk her all so valuable life for his? Who knew that this would happen? Who knew I could feel this much pain? Before I could mentally commit suicide a 'DINGING' noise shot me out of my trance.

I ran up to her and shoved all the doctors away so I could see her for just a second. Her face, so pale. Her skin, so clammy. Her pulse… PLUMMETING. "Her pulse.. I can't feel her pulse… I CAN'T FEEL HER PULSE! COME ON NIKKI, DON'T LEAVE ME!" I began to shed tears in front of every single doctor Division withheld. They all backed away (for some reason) as I gave her mouth to mouth, and pumped her chest like there was no tomorrow; but in this case, there may not be a tomorrow if she doesn't survive. I'm an empty ghost without her.

'BLOW'

'PUMP, PUMP, PUMP'

'BLOW'

'PUMP, PUMP, PUMP'

'LISTEN'

"THERE'S NO PULSE! NIKITA, PLEASE I LOVE YOU! I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER, JUST PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME, BABY. DON'T LEAVE ME!"

'BLOW'

'PUMP, PUMP, PUMP'

She coughed up a few ounces of blood, and opened her beautiful, brown eyes, and whispered, "Michael?"

"Nikita, Nikki we're gonna get you some help okay, just stay with me." My tone had immediately changed into a gentler one, as the doctors began to move her to medical rapidly. The doctors kept telling me to let go of her hand, but to Hell with them. I had almost lost her just a few seconds ago; I wasn't letting her out of my sight. I held onto her hand until they led her into a room for surgery. She looked up at me just as I released her hand, and a stray tear fell from her eyes. I couldn't help but let some of my tears be released as well. She reached for me like she wouldn't survive without my touch.

"Michael…" She whispered her last words, before fading into unconsciousness yet again.

Each second without her felt like an eternity. I could mentally hear a clock ticking like a damn bomb ready to explode any second. Tick, Tock, Tick Tock. With each passing moment, I found it harder to breathe. I was panicking at the thought of losing her. My pacing became faster, my anger building, my anxiety building, my pain building, my déjà vu becoming greater. I can't lose her. I won't be able to live without her. I'm dead without her. The thought of not hearing her laugh, seeing her smile, embracing her, kissing her, comforting her, holding her, and just being with her was killing me. At this moment, the only thing that would make me happy is to see her smile.

Flashback:

Me and Nikita had been lying in bed for a good 2 hours. She was never one to spend the day not being active, so she tried to get me to take her somewhere.

"Babe, not that I'm not enjoying the feel of your arms around me," she snuggled closer to me, "but we need to get up. It's been an hour and… 53 minutes." She looked at her clock and giggled at how much time could pass when your spending time with someone you love. "Come on, Nikita. You know you're enjoying this." Pulling her tighter to my chest, I kissed her cheek and began to suck on her neck. She started moaning and grabbed my head and pulled me closer to her neck. "Oh god, Michael." I started to suck harder on her neck, when we were interrupted by her phone ringing. She pushed me away, and muttered. "Saved by the bell." I grunted, and before she could fully remove herself from the bed, I scrambled over to her, and yanked her underneath me. "MICHAEL!" She didn't look scared though; in fact she was amused. "Ignore it. You'll… Call… Back…. Later." I kissed each side of her cheek in-between pauses, and captured her lips. She was moaning as I made my way down to her neck yet again to resume sucking where I had just sucked. I began to suck aggressively, and soon she had a purple mark on her neck, and I realized I had hurt her. I immediately pulled away and got off of the bed; looking down to the ground to avoid her eyes.

I heard the bed move, as she got off it and made her way towards me. When she was close enough to see my eyes, I backed away further. "Michael..." I cut her off before she could finish whatever excuse as to why she wasn't hurt when I knew she would be lying. "I hurt you... I hurt you…" I looked into her eyes, and finally saw all the faith she had in me. I will only destroy her trust if I stay. "I need to go." She stepped in front of me before I could take another step. "Michael, I'm not hurt. You could never hurt me. I love you, and if I want you to make love to me, you damn well will. Now get your ass on that bed, and do that again." I raised an eyebrow at her sudden bad-assness. She didn't notice how much her attitude had just turned me on, but if she wants it hard, her wish is my command` Before she could make her way to the bed, I growled like a tiger and tackled her onto the bed. She laughed, as I began to kiss her. From her mouth, to her neck, and we began to undress each other.

We spent the rest of the day making love, eating, and continuing the cycle for the best day ever.

Present:

After 2 hours of waiting for her, staring at the door she had left through, Dr. Johnson returned with her status report.

"Michael," My anxiety got the best of me, and I hopped up and hurriedly asked him the only thing that remained in my mind while sitting. "Can I see her?"

"Division doesn't allow relationships, so why are you two romantically involved?" What the hell? Was he seriously trying to manipulate me right now? Before I could threaten him, or kill him altogether, Amanda appeared and handled everything. "Michael, go and see her. I'll handle this." She didn't have to tell me twice. I busted through the doors, and quickly reassessed my demeanor so as to not take my anger out on the source of my worry.

When my eyes landed on her slim figure with tubes everywhere, and Dr. Alice still assessing her, I found my heart beating faster again, as I began to breathe slower with my adrenaline pumping even faster than it already was. "Oh Michael," Alice approached me, and told me of Nikita's condition.

"How is she?"

"We got the bullet out, and she's recovering remarkably fast. She's going to be okay." I let out my breathe that I hadn't realized I'd been holding, and walked over to Nikita's side when I saw her slightly move.

"Michael, is that you?" I smiled and grabbed a chair, to sit next to Nikita. I took her hand in mine, and kissed her while another tear escaped my eyes. I looked behind me to dismiss the doctor before I could fully speak to Nikita. "Yeah, baby it's me." She grunted as she began to sit up slightly, and focus her eyes. As she looked into my eyes, she let out a humorous sigh, and gave me a faint smile. "You're blaming yourself aren't you?" It amazes me how she can tell what I'm thinking before I tell her. "I should've been there for you." I released her hand and looked down at both of mine, closed into fists. "I'm the reason you're here, I'm the reason you got shot, and I'm the reason you almost… I almost lost you, Nikita. You know I cannot lose another person that I love." She began to cry silent tears, and I let yet another tear fall from my eyes as well. "Michael, none of this is your fault. Like I've told you many times before, I will choose to be with you. I will choose to love you. I will choose to follow you wherever you go because we're in this together. You are a huge part of my life, and I can't imagine it without you."

I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up from my chair, and leaned down to kiss her all too tempting lips. She opened her mouth, to allow my tongue to be joined with hers. I kissed her out of love, out of protection, out of pain. I wanted her to feel the warmth I felt whenever we were together. I needed her to feel my love, because if she would have died today, she may not have known how much of a life changer she's been to me. I put my hand on her cheek, and hers landed on my cheek as well. It started to become unbearable not feeling her skin against mine, and again she knew what I was thinking, and pulled my tie down, directing me to lie next to her. As I was about to take her shirt off, she had hissed in pain. As if on cue, I jumped away from her off the bed; standing far from her.

"Michael, come back." I couldn't continue hurting her, so I tried to keep my eyes away from her. "I can't hurt you anymore… I need to go." I started taking steps towards the door when her voice stopped me. "NO! Michael, stop doing this to me, to yourself… To us. How many times do I have to tell you, you could never hurt me? Not ever. You keep me alive, and going. I love you so much, Michael. I want you, Michael." Her tone got 10 times softer. "I need you, Michael."

I felt my heart warm up to her kind words, and I slowly advanced towards her bed and lie down next to her very softly, and just stared into her eyes. "Stop running away from me. It's a waste of your energy because I'm never letting you go." We both smiled, as our faces were not even an inch apart, and I pecked her lips and couldn't stop. I kissed her for all the things she unknowingly has done for me. We were interrupted by Amanda, with a disgusted look on her face. "Michael, do you even have any idea what you have just caused?"

Nikita instantly tensed up, so I took her hand in mine, and gave her a reassuring smile. "Amanda, what are you talking about?" I was genuinely confused so she started to retry, in a better approach. "Every single one of these doctors in here knows about your relationship. You've not been careful, and now I have to manipulate each one into secrecy. That won't last long either. When they realize they have abundance over us, they'll tell Percy and we'll all be dead."

Oh my god! What have I done? I was about to panic again, but a tiny warm hand squeezing mine distracted me. I looked over and saw Nikita giving me a loving smile. "Ugh, if you too screw this up for me, Percy will be the least of your problems!" She turned her heal, and stormed out the door.

Nikita began to speak, "It's okay… We'll get through this... Don't we always?" I let a smile grace my lips. And she began caressing my face. She moved my chin upward so that I was looking at her.

"What did you say that would reveal our relationship?" I was about to change the subject so that she wouldn't get mad at my carelessness, but I wanted her to know what I'd said. "Did you know that for almost a minute you had… died?" I took a breath trying not to think about her not being alive. She shook her head in disbelief. I don't think anyone told her that for a few seconds, she was lifeless. "It was the longest 43 seconds of my life. I thought I'd lost you." I moved closer to her and Eskimo kissed her for a minute or so. "I don't ever wanna feel that way ever again." Then that beautiful smile of hers appeared; the one that I'd been waiting for all day. "You won't lose me, Michael. Ever." We stayed like that for a minute longer before I had to break the silence. "If I remember correctly, I gave you mouth to mouth, your pulse was gone, and I kept yelling your name saying I loved you and I needed you. They all backed away from you, and let me do my thing. You woke up, and whispered my name, and I held you hand til we arrived at the operating room. I waited for a looong 2 hours, and here we are." She looked at me funny for a very long time. "What?"

"I love you. So much, and even though it was careless, I think if you were dying I'd do the exact same thing." While smiling, I captured her lips, and began to caress her tender stomach. When oxygen was essential, I pulled away, and stood off the bed. "I have to go... Before even more questions are asked. Okay?" She made an infantile pouty face, and said. "Okay. I understand." I leant down, and kissed her lips again making me want her even more, and told her, "I love you too, baby." I smiled at her one more time before transforming into my statuesque form, and exiting the room.

Nikita's POV:

Michael was yet again confusing things, but at the moment I could care less. I needed him, and no one else. I loved him, more and more each time he would say those beautiful 3 little words. I also loved Daniel. Oh shit! Daniel probably thinks I'm dead or something. I retrieved my phone in a hysterical way as if me calling two seconds later would change everything. Beep…. Beep…. Beep…. Damn it he's not answering. Leave a message after the beep… BEEP. "Daniel, I'm just calling to let you know I'm okay, and I'll be coming home soon. I love you. Call me back when you get this message. Click.

After I called him, I started panicking. I have no idea why, but I needed to get home. Immediately!

I quickly checked myself out of medical, and made my way to Michael's office.

I knocked on the door once before letting myself in. "Michael, I'm heading home." I was about to exit, when his hand holding my wrist stopped me. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know, but I have a bad feeling… like something's about to happen, or did happen... I need to get home." He looked worried but also sad that I still cared about Daniel. I do love Daniel, but selfishly if I could be with Michael, I'd leave Daniel in a heartbeat.

"Wait... I'm coming with you." I shook my head, but he was stubborn. "You're not even close to full recovery, and if anyone can protect you, it's me." I gazed into his eyes for a few more seconds before grabbing his hand and leading him to the car.

While we were driving, Michael kept staring at me from the corner of his eyes. He wasn't very slick so when his hand slowly slid next to mine, I saw it within seconds. I slid mine even closer to his, and took it in my hand. I know it's wrong to love two men at the same time, but what can I do? I'm hurting Daniel by staying with him, when he deserves better. I'm stringing Michael along by acting like this relationship will work when we want two completely different things. I need to choose one of them. If it's meant to be, it can only be good, right?

I got out my key, and unlocked the door, and with a click we entered my house. It looked normal, like he'd been here only moments ago. The T.V was on, and hot coffee was on the table. As I looked around, there was a knife lying on the ground and as if on cue, Michael's hand was covering my mouth. He shoved us both against the wall, and he let go of my mouth. He whispered 'stay here' in an almost inaudible tone, and moved around the house with his gun pointed. His eyes landed on something that made him gasp. I walked up to him, but he tried to stop me by pushing me against the wall. Shit, that hurt my wound. I pushed him away from me, the best I could and looked where he was looking.

My heart immediately sped up in an almost inhumane way. I whispered, "Daniel?" As my eyes began to water uncontrollably. I rushed to his side, and put my finger up to his neck, hysterically. When I felt no pulse, I broke down into sobs. "Nooo! Please Daniel, baby come back to me!" I started punching his chest frantically, and muttering, 'no, no, no, no.' it felt like I couldn't breathe. He was gone… Yet another person was leaving me this year. We were supposed to get married. We were supposed to be together forever. I was supposed to get us out of Divisions reach, but now I realize I practically killed Daniel myself. All he ever did was love me. Is this his punishment for loving me, for being with me, for proposing to me? I felt Michael's hands on both sides of my body, so I turned around, and flung myself at him. My head was against his chest, still sobbing, and I clutched his shirt, like it were my oxygen. He held me against his chest, rubbing my back, and arms.

I held Daniel's hand, as the authorities took his body, and tried to take me into questioning. Just as I was about to leave with the amateur policemen, Michael showed up dressed like an FBI agent, and told the cop they were taking me in for investigation.

He didn't handcuff me, but he escorted me roughly to play the part more realistically. When we got into the van, I again broke down, in Michael's arms. He kept shushing me and saying everything would be alright, but everything would not be alright. "Why do I keep losing everyone?" He was now caressing my hair, and kissing my forehead with his eyes closed, trying to take my pain away, but no one could. The damage is done, and now I have no one. "Hey, I'm still here… I am here…. I will never leave you." I kept crying, but his words did make me feel a little better. I was about to just go through this with grief until I listened to the song that was on. It was a Michael Jackson song, and he kept muttering, 'All I'm tryna' say it that, they don't really care about us.' Michael Jackson was absolutely right. It hit me like an epiphany. Percy could care less if I died. Amanda could care less if I died. I know Michael cares, but he's not the boss. If I died on a mission, my life would have been worthless. I refuse to risk my ass for Percy. They killed my best friend, and my future husband, and I will avenge their deaths! I have too. They were both killed because of me, and I won't make it for nothing.

Michael let me go, and I acted as if I were feeling a little better, but that just showed how good an actor I was. I'm getting out of Division, and I will tear this place apart; even if I die doing it.

When we got to Division, Percy told me to go to Amanda, and she told me stuff like, 'we will find out who did this, and I'm so sorry Nikita', but it was all bullshit. She knew exactly who did this, and why. Michael didn't know though. If he did, he would've definitely told me.

I was heading to my recruit room to call it a night, when Noel was standing outside of my room. "Nikita! Oh my gosh are you okay?" He walked up to me, and enveloped me in his arms. I nodded, and in all honesty I was feeling a little better since I had a plan. I wasn't going to be staying here for much longer. "Yeah, I'm okay." He pulled away to look into my eyes, to see if I were lying, and the weird thing is, he knew I was. "I didn't know Daniel, but I am truly sorry." At the mention of his name, I began to cry again. He was surprised by my tears because he's only seen me cry once, so he led me into my room so no one else could see.

As I forced myself to be strong, a huge weight was placed on my chest. All my pain was being bottled up, but I didn't care. I needed to be strong if I was going to go up against Division.

We began talking about everything that was bothering us, when I finally told him what I was worried about. "This place has killed two people I love... I am getting my revenge." He was very confused about what I was saying. "Nikita, what are you saying?"

"I'm leaving Division. I can't allow this to keep happening, and honestly I can't take any more heartache caused by that son of a Bitch, Percy." He looked confused at first, but then he started to get a little happy, which was confusing me. "What?"

"If you're leaving Division, then I am too."

"Really?"

"Yeah... Why not?"

"Well, you do realize that we'll constantly be hunted, and in danger right?"

"Yes Nikki I understand. You are my best friend in here, and Michael doesn't like me much, so what kind of future could I have if I stayed?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. If you leave Division I'm coming with you… Deal?"

He held his hand out for me to shake, and after all I had nothing to lose, so I took his hand and shook it, before muttering, "Deal."

SO now Noel is going on the run with Nikita... Next chapter will be talking about Noel's past, getting Nikita's contacts to do her favors, and possibly their escape... You'll just have to wait and see.