Chapter 14

Nikki knew that no hot chocolate was going to calm Leo down this time. She had said five minutes and it was possible to tolerate his noise for that long, he was still rocking but not hitting himself so hard. She was shaken herself. In the past when Harry had lashed out at her, she could always see his side, what it was that had made him angry. But today?

She couldn't go and give Leo a cuddle that would be worse than Harry shouting at him; so instead she went to get the marble run out of her bag and sat in his line of vision and quietly began to put the toy together. It was quite complicated in reality, you had to visualise the way the ball would roll and fix the pieces together. She built a simple run and tried out the first marble. Leo was still shrieking, but she could feel him watching her.

"This is a cool toy Leo," Nikki began to say quietly, she noticed him out of the corner of her eye, remove his fingers from his ears. "You fix the pieces together like this and you can build all kinds of different towers and then watch the marble roll down." She heard Leo's volume decrease slightly so she carried on even more quietly. "There were lots of toys in the shop I went to today. There are even ten marbles to go down and this one has a beautiful blue colour going through the middle of it. But marbles aren't for babies. They are only for big boys who can be trusted to play with them properly." She plopped another marble at the top of a basin shaped piece and the ball spiralled around and around faster and faster until is dropped through the hole in the centre. Leo's shrieks had descended to half sobs and the odd hiccup.

Nikki carried on talking nonsense about the toy and the noises the balls made as they rolled down the various shaped pieces. The relative silence was blissful. Leo shuffled his bottom across the carpet closer to the toy and then sat up to watch. He rubbed his fist across his chest but Nikki thought nothing of it until he repeated the action.

"I don't know what that means Leo. I don't know what you're trying to tell me."

"Do you want a turn?" she held out a marble to him but he refused to take it. He just repeated the sign and pointed to the door and repeated the sign again.

"Daddy will be back in a minute. But you're fine here with me. We're having fun aren't we?"

Leo divided his attention between the door and the marbles rolling down the tracks. Nikki poured all ten in at once and there was a satisfying whooshing wave like noise as they all spiralled around the top basin piece. When all the balls had got to the bottom, Nikki removed them and placed them in a neat line. Then collected them up again. She couldn't leave Leo with the marbles if she weren't watching. What if he swallowed one?

"I'll just go check on Daddy," she said and went to the door. Out in the street, Harry was nowhere in sight. She had a moment of panic when she imagined that he might have taken off and left her with Leo. Five minutes she could manage, half hour at a stretch. She stepped further down the path and saw Harry sitting in the street leaning his back against the front wall.

"It's very quiet in there." Harry commented. "What did you do?"

"Just a bit of playing." Nikki replied.

"You didn't touch his cars, did you?" Harry replied aghast. Nikki shook her head. "I'm sorry Harry. I haven't told anyone you're here. I'm sorry they found you. But they can't take Leo back, not until we get our results back."

Harry eased himself to his feet, his gaze fixed to the floor. "It's me who should apologise. I shouldn't have shouted, I shouldn't have grabbed at you. I just panicked." He reached out and gently stroked the fingertips of the hand he had snatched with his. It was the first time in a week that Harry had touched her and she realised how much she had missed him. She'd been angry with him for years and was surprised to discover that in less than a week she'd forgiven him.

"I'm so sorry," he took his hand away and rubbed his fist across his chest.

"Harry?"

"Yes?" He finally looked up at her.

"That sign you just did… What does it mean?"

"Was I signing? I don't even notice I'm doing it."

Nikki rubbed her fist in a circle on her chest. "What does it mean?"

"Sorry," Harry replied simply "Why do you ask?"

"After Leo calmed down a bit, and looked at the toy I bought him, that's what he did. He looked at me and signed sorry."

"Leo said sorry! Did he do anything else?"

"I told him I didn't understand and then he pointed at the door and did that sign again. I'm sure he wanted me to go and get you."

Harry shook his head. "He pointed at the door and then did this?" Harry demonstrated and Nikki nodded in response.

"What does it mean then?"

"Daddy's sorry" replied Harry with a sigh. "Come on, we can't leave him on his own."