The song for first part of chapter is "Warrior" by Demi Lovato and the song for second part of the chapter is "All of me - john legend (boyce avenue acoustic cover) on apple & spotify". You can find this version on youtube, it should be the first link that comes up.
Shout out to oesteffel for their amazing review. Don't worry I will not be forgetting about this fan fiction. Long story short, my friend that I was supposed to meet up with yesterday got ill so I spent the day writing the next few chapters. However, I have now reached a bit of a block and I have no idea what to do next so please leave reviews or message me with ideas for this story. Also, please don't forget to vote on my poll (it's on my bio) and tell me your opinion.
Lastly, I used lyrics in a part of this story for a song that will come up in a later chapter. Can anyone guess what song it is? Leave your thoughts in a review. As always I love you guys and thank you for all of your support. :) -M
I was discharged from the hospital the next day, which I guess is today. A while after Jon stopped apologising I fell asleep. Jace and Jon stayed the night at the hospital to make sure that I was okay. Although I think it was more to make sure that if I talked someone would be there for me.
My ankle is in a cast that reaches just bellow my knee. Since I refused to use a wheelchair, the hospital insisted that I at least have some crutches. When I was finally discharged we all made our way to Jon's car, and by all I mean Jace, Jon and I. They keep trying to get me to talk by starting conversations with me, but the only response I can give them is a shake or nod of my head. I just feel like if I open my mouth to talk I'll break down.
I feel bad for not talking to them, for not explaining why I wasn't talking, or how I felt about everything that happened but I think I'll talk when I'm ready to talk, god only knows when I'll be ready though. I overheard Jon asking one of the doctors why I wasn't talking yesterday when I was at the hospital. They all thought I was asleep, but it was just easier for me to fake being asleep than to see their sad faces every time I opened my eyes.
Apparently the doctor said that I was perfectly fine and that my injuries had nothing to do with my lack of speech. He said that I would talk when I wanted to, and that there was nothing they could do to make me talk before then. Despite the doctor's reassurances Jon was still worried, of course he tried to hide this from me, but being his sister I could tell he was trying to keep it together for me.
Both Jon and Jace were treating me like I was a porcelain doll that could break if they were too rough with me. I wanted to tell them to stop treating me like that, I wanted to tell them that I was fine, but I couldn't. Not only because I couldn't talk but also because I don't think I could tell them something that isn't true.
As we pulled up to our house my mind started reeling with a different set of questions. Why was Jace here? Were he and Jon still friends? Wasn't Jon still mad at Jace? I guess he did kind of save me and I should be grateful, but that doesn't forgive what he did to me. He promised me he would be there for me and he promised that he would never lie, yet he broke both of his promises for no reason.
When the car pulled to a stop I grabbed my crutches and made my way out of the car. While doing so, Jace appeared out of nowhere and tried to help me by placing his hand on my back for support. Even if his touch did send an electric shock through my entire body, I wasn't going to forgive him that easily. I snapped my head in his direction and glared at him until he let go of my back.
With Jon's help I made it to my room where I proceeded to sit on the ledge of my window and stare into space. I don't know how long I stayed like that, just staring into space. Occasionally Jace or Jon would come into my room and ask if I needed anything, but I wouldn't respond. At least with Jon I turned my head to look at him and shake my head, but with Jace I just kept staring out of my window.
After a while the sun started to set and the moon began to rise, but I still didn't move. A little while later Jon came into my room with a tray of food, "You need to eat something Clary, you haven't eaten all day." Not really hungry I just shook my head at him. He placed the food down on my desk and came to sit next to me. "Please talk to me Clare. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong." I didn't respond.
"If you won't talk to me, at least talk to Jace." At the mention of his name my head shot up. Why was Jon suddenly so friendly with Jace? Jon heard what he had said to me, he was right there when it happened. "Don't give me that look Clary. I know what he did, but there is a reason behind it. Just let him explain." With that he got up and walked to wards the door. Before he left he turned around, "And eat something, otherwise I'll lock you in a room with Jace until you talk to him and solve whatever problems you have going on." He left before I had the chance to even process what he had said and glare at him for it.
Needing to express myself in some form, I grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and started writing how I felt. I know it sounds really cheesy, but it actually did help me a lot. Before I knew it I had used the pen to scribble several lines on the paper.
And who is this monster wearing my skin?
…
Cause every time I scream no one hears me
…
It feels like I'm paralyzed
By the time I finished writing it was about midnight. Per Jon's request I had finished the food that he gave me, except now I was really thirsty. Not wanting to bother Jon anymore I decided to go downstairs by myself and grab a glass of water from the kitchen.
As I was making my way down the stairs a faint sound was coming from the living room. My curiosity got the better of me and I was now walking towards the living room instead of the kitchen, my glass of water forgotten.
Having loud crutches made it impossible to sneak up on anyone, so as I made it to the living room the music stopped and the golden head that was once bowed over a guitar looked up at me.
"Clary." One word from his lips and I was already willing to forgive him, but I had to stay strong. Focus Clary, focus.
"Still not talking huh?" My silence was enough of an answer for him. "Do you remember when you told me how you would listen to a song that you thought matched how you felt?" He looked at me with pleading eyes and Jon's words from earlier echoes in my head.
Give him a chance.
I reluctantly nodded my head. "Can I play you a song? I promise that if you still want me to leave you alone afterwards I will, just say the word." It was hard not to laugh at the irony of what he just said, I could tell that he did it on purpose judging from the smirk on his mouth. Deciding to give him a chance I went and sat next to him. He smiled at me, then turned his attention to his guitar where he began strumming a few chords before he started to sing.
What would I do without your smart mouth?
Drawing me in, and you kicking me out
You've got my head spinning, no kidding, I can't pin you down
What's going on in that beautiful mind
I'm on your magical mystery ride
And I'm so dizzy, don't know what hit me, but I'll be alright
—
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
—
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh oh
—
How many times do I have to tell you
Even when you're crying you're beautiful too
The world is beating you down, I'm around through every mood
You're my downfall, you're my muse
My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues
I can't stop singing, it's ringing, in my head for you
—
My head's under water
But I'm breathing fine
You're crazy and I'm out of my mind
—
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you
—
Give me all of you
Cards on the table, we're both showing hearts
Risking it all, though it's hard
—
'Cause all of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me
I'll give my all to you
You're my end and my beginning
Even when I lose I'm winning
'Cause I give you all of me
And you give me all of you
—
And I give you all of me
And you give me all of you, oh oh
Even when he finished the song his head stayed down, his gaze never moving from his a few minutes he whispered to me, "I don't deserve you Clary. You could do so much better than me."
"What about what I deserve?" He snapped his head up to look at me at the sound of my voice. His eyes were filled with surprise before sadness eventually took over.
"You deserve better than me. I'll only hurt you." He bowed his head in shame. I reached out to him and placed my hand on his cheek, moving it so that he was looking at me. All of the sadness in his eyes made my heart break.
"The only way you could hurt me is if you left." I hoped that he could hear the honesty in my voice, see the plea in my eyes and understand what I was trying to say. The thought of him leaving made me lean closer to him until our lips were centimetres apart. My hand still on his cheek and his hot breath against my face. It was so overwhelming, all of my senses were on overdrive. "Please" It came out as a whisper, but we were so close that there is no doubt in my mind that he heard me. Our gazes locked together and he closed the small space between us, successfully crashing our lips together in a lustful kiss.