Kristen: *walks into kitchen* Oh God, HE'S here! *tries to walk back out again*

Billy: Your Mom called. Again.

Kristen: Aw! Did she want to know how schools going?

Billy: No.

Kristen: Does she want to have a girly heart to heart about hot boys?

Billy: Noooo....

Kristen: *in monotone voice* The car thing right?

Billy: No! Ha ha. Ok, yes.

Kristen: Well, it's your own fault. You shouldn't have told her about the 'almost accident'.

Catherine: Ooo! It has a name now! The 'almost accident'. It has a certain ring to it.

Billy: Phil sounds dreamy!

Kristen: ?

Billy: *coughs* Uh..I...mean.. *Rough 'man voice* Phil seems like a alright guy. Mmmm...Abs...

Kristen: *runs tap, trying to drown out sound of Billy talking* Yeah. He is.

Billy: Mom sounds happy now.

Kristen: Yeah, that happened after you got the hell out of the picture. *dreamy voice* I remember when I used to be happy...

The Cafetaria....OF DOOM!

Justin (Eric): Blah...blah...blah....LA PUSH!

Kristen: Should I know what that means or can I just continue to ignore you?

Micheal: It's a beach.

Kristen: *A big question mark appears above head*

Michael: Ya know...beach.... sand...waves...big Native American dudes who refuse to cut their hair...

Kristen: JAKEY POO!

Justin: We're all going surfing! *Surfin' Safari plays in background* And I don't just surf the internet!

Anna: Eric, you stood up once. And It was a foam board.

Bella: Well, DUH! What else would a board be made out of? Plastic? *snorts* Ha ha ha

Kristen: Ooo! Salad!

Rob: *struts over to salad bar and pouts like a male model* Sup homeslice.

Kristen: GASP! Someone is speaking to me! *drops apple in surprise*

Rob: Ha. I could totally just let it fall to the ground right now and it would be bruised and disgusting. But I won't. Coz she's hot. *bounces apple off foot* Skill!

Kristen: *does not clap even though Rob is holding a sign above his head that says 'Clap!'*

Rob: Aw come one!

Kristen: Your mood swings are giving my pale, perfect, sensitive skin whiplash.

Rob: Naw. That's just the wind. Bella's blowing a fan into your face so that your wig will be messed up for the next scene.

Bella: *throws fan into a bush* That's ridiculous.

Catherine: Bella! Shut up! Rob, line please.

Rob: Ahem. Ok, Bella lets just get this straight. I'm scary, ok? Bad guy! No superman. I am the joker.

Kristen: But you never joke.

Rob: Ok...The...I'm Voldemort.

Kristen: You have a nose. And hair.

Rob: I'm the big bad wolf.

MyboyfriendEdwardsparkles: You actually have no idea how much of a turn on that is.

Rob: Fine! I have the PERFECT one! I'm DRACULA!

Kristen: You're not. *kind, loving voice* I can see what you're trying to put off. And it's not just your terrible body odor either. But it's just to keep people away from you. It's a mask. *rips cheap Frankenstein mask off Rob* See?

Rob: OW! YOU JUST RIPPED OFF MY FACE BITCH!

Kristen: Oh, shit. *puts Rob's face back on*

Rob: Thanks.

Kristen: Come hang out with me and my loser friends. We're all going to make sandcastles tomorrow. Come.

Rob: Which beach?

Kristen: Ha ha. I'd like to 'La Push' you off a cliff.

Rob: Huh?

Kristen: Sigh. La Push.

Rob: Oh. No. It's too crowded.

Scene flashes too a completely deserted beach.

Bella: *laughs hysterically* HA HA! She just got blown off with a totally crap excuse! Shame! *spots piece of paper on Edward's chair* Ooo... a note from Eddiekins!

Bella,

I haven't just left you because you're slightly insane, scare me sometimes and I needed to run away for a while. I've just gone to.... Mc Donalds to eat a Big Mac. Yeah. See ya soon!

X

Edward

Bella: Oh. Ok. *goes back to laughing at Kristen for getting blown off with such an obviously bogus excuse* Ha.