She kissed him on the forehead and rose slowly.

"Rest… I hope we will meet again, my friend," she quietly said to the lying figure.

She was hoping that Kylo Ren was also lying somewhere, alive but in great pain and for the rest of his days for what he had done to her friend. She hoped that he would learn to regret and torment himself for all the hurt he had caused. She really, really hoped from the bottom of her heart that he suffered. A lot.

She got up and backed up from her fallen comrade. The doctors had been vague with her but they had told her all there was to say: that nobody knew what was going to become of him. Now, if he was waking up was entirely up to him – may it be in a year or in a minute, there was no telling.

The doctors had not been the only person to talk to her. R2-D2 had awoken with the last piece of the map she had gone though so much to keep away from the gloved hands of Kylo Ren, and they now knew where had Luke gone. General Organa herself had come to the girl and had given her the mission to go and seek him out, but she was still full of doubt.

She remembered now her short time at the academy, vague memories, nothing more, of something that had happened in an other time. Her only childhood in fact, a childhood torn by a shadow that had overpowered her and haunt her nightmares ever since. But she did remember master Luke, a kind man that had taught her a few things about the Force and how to fight. She wouldn't have known it was him if someone would have mentioned him in front of her thought since she had always known him as 'master Skywalker'.

It was true that she had defeated Kylo Ren once and that it was important for Jedis to rise again and to counter the Sith, arguments Leia had used when she had justified herself, but Rey was still unsure. She knew that it had been an unbelievable amount of luck that had made her triumph and she was terribly afraid to fail if she were to be confronted to the Dark side once more. Not only in matters of pure victory or defeat, but in matters of temptation.

Rey wasn't the innocent little girl she had once been. She had stolen, she had fought, she had lied, back on Jakku, in order to survive. She had beaten to a bloody pulp other scavengers that had been just as desperate as her too get their hands on poor pieces of scrape, and there was no denying that she had felt greatly satisfied when they had ran away from her. She was not the dispassionate being the Jedis were rumored to be. She was still only human.

Trying to become a Jedi to fight the Sith was not a good idea. She wasn't the right person for that. Finn was the right choice for Luke's apprentice. He had rose from the ranks of the First Order because he had felt the call of the Light and has answered it. He had resisted the temptations of power and fear even if they had overpowered him for a moment. He had fought back the Dark Side and had won, so he wouldn't be tempted to fall on their side ever again.

She didn't feel much of a call like Finn had. She didn't even feel particularly special next to him. He was a hero, and she admired him for it.

What she would never admit to herself was that she was not really scared of the Dark Side, but of Kylo Ren.

He eluded her reasonings. At first, he had appeared as a terrifying beast. During the interrogation, she had come to view him as a monster in the skin of a man. He was dark and surrounded himself in pitch black shadows, and he was so tall and strong that she had struggled with his sheer strength during their fight, even if he had been weakened. When she looked in his eyes, she saw anger, an incommensurable anger, and hate, and destruction. He wanted to drag her down with him, wanted to posses her like a trophy (she hadn't even felt that he was sexually interested in her, which would have been a sort of creepy but darkly human compliment), wanted to drag her in the dust if he could.

She saw him as an animal in his bloodlust, as a machine in his reasoning and as a monster that would haunt her forever. And she would have been fine if it would have been only that. She was used to fear for her survival, she was used to hate the ones that made her miserable. She would have fitted him in the category of 'evil people, no negotiation' in her head and she would have carried on… if it wouldn't have been for one, single moment.

The last look they had shared.

As he had laid in the snow, wounded, broken, exhausted, he had looked up to her… and she had seen no rage or frustration, but wonder, admiration and lust. At that moment, she had understood that he saw her as a worthy opponent, as a desirable person, as someone of her own. She had become an aim for his attention, and not his desire of possession. She had become something to him…

She didn't want to be anything to Kylo Ren. That was venturing in a territory that she knew was slippery – way too slippery. The fact that she had yet to throw the picture of her and him was already worrying. The fact that she kept repeating again and again that memory of the look she had thrown him down the last time was worrying too. But the worse was when, in front of a dozen of people, as all looked at her, she had straight up declared that she thought of him as good looking – and that wasn't even for show.

There just was something about him that made her behave in ways that she wasn't supposed to behave. She should have been cursing him and shivering in disgust when she thought of him. And yet…

She needed to say to the General that she wasn't fit for Luke's apprenticeship, that they needed someone that could fight Kylo without a second thought. Someone that would never spare him, someone who saw him as she knew he was: a monster.

Someone like Finn.

Moments later, she was knocking on General Leia's office door, hoping that the busy women wasn't out, attending a serious top secret meeting or celebrating. Rey had spotted an improvised party on her way and had stopped a moment just to watch. For what seemed the first time in her life, she had seen people dancing. That had been fascinating, and she had stayed a while staring at the moving bodies. The music seemed to her like some sort of abomination, full of noise and big basses, so far away from the delicate swings she had learned to love on the long, lonely evenings of Jakku. It had occurred to her that this time was far behind her. Never would she return to her scavenger life. She had felt relieved, but also a pinch of nostalgia. From now on, things would only get more complicated for her.

"Come in," called a voice from within.

She opened the door wide at that and entered, but paused when she saw that there had already been someone in there before her. She had noticed that man before with his muscular built, his broad shoulders, his messy hair from his pilot helmet and his oozing confidence, but only from afar and didn't know his name, only that he was a pilot.

Once her gaze had lingered on him long enough to take in his features, she looked around, curious at what was around her. She had never entered the office of General Organa – not that she had had the time in the hour she had spent on the base of the Resistance –, or had even stepped inside an office at all in her life. It looked neat and organized to the millimeter, just like the elderly woman herself, all in greenish tones (much to Rey's delight, who decided that anything green was a lovely touch). The mistress of the place herself was sitting behind a large wooden desk in the middle of the room, in a chair that was the kind that you found in a doctor's office and from which they talked to you about grave and important things such as your health. Two lesser seats were placed in front of the desk for anyone that was talking to her to use, and Rey guessed from it that many came to ask for her advice or discuss of the organization of the Rebellion.

"Oh, Rey, what is the matter? A problem with the Millennium Falcon? I swear that this antiquity is going to come crashing down some day it has some many problems." She spoke with a gentle smile but that barely hid the hint of sadness in her eyes at the memory of her late husband's favorite vehicle.

"No, it's not that…" Rey let her eyes dart sideways, towards the pilot. She hoped he was going to leave soon, because she didn't feel like talking about the matter in front of the man. In addition to that, there was something in there of his hair and in the darkness of his eyes that reminded her of a certain nemesis of hers. She was grateful that the man here wasn't towering her, otherwise that would be hitting a little too close to home. "I am not interrupting anything, I hope?"

Understanding that the matter was private, the man stood up and gave her a smile. "I was about to leave, don't worry. It was a pleasure talking too you, General, and thank you for your precious advice."

"You are welcome Poe. I will be seeing you later at the debriefing meeting."

Rey just had the time to notice that Poe was carrying what seemed to be the old jacket Finn was wearing all the time and treated like the most precious piece of garment before he was out the door. The matter intrigued her, but she soon left it aside and sat in front of the older woman.

"So, what is it that is so urgent that you practically chase Poe out the door, Rey?" Asked Leia. Up close, she seemed really tired. She had lost the man she loved today and yet she was still taking care of the Resistance. It was an impressive fret, and for a second the girl hesitated before confessing her own weakness.

"I… I am really sorry, but I have been thinking about the whole thing and… I don't think it's a good idea. About becoming Luke's apprentice, that is." Rey braced herself for the deception she was sure that she was causing to the older woman.

"And why so?" She only sternly replied.

"Well… I am not the most suited for it. First, I can't fight properly. There are most probably tons of people that can fight better then me in this base alone. And wile it is true that I have been in the Jedi Academy and was once master Skywalker's student, it was a lifetime ago."

"What do you know of a lifetime, girl?" Asked the older woman, sounding a little annoyed. She quickly softened. "Do you really think the Force is some kind of knowledge you acquire like reading and calculating? No. The Force is something that flows thought you. And if you have opened the door once it can always be reopened, however long are the years. And I guess that this door is still open to you, otherwise you wouldn't be here. Am I right?"

"Yes, but–"

"But, indeed, I think that the reason you think that you are not worthy has nothing to do with what you have just said, right?" She asked.

Rey stayed silent a moment, giving all the confirmation Leia needed.

"It has to do with my son," quietly continued the General.

The girl cringed ever so slightly. She had yet to fully realize that Kylo Ren had once upon a time been a boy like all the others and that he was linked in any way to the peaceful woman sitting across the table. "I…"

"I know him, I am his mother after all. It always used to annoy him to no end that I could simply see though him." She slightly smiled at the memory of a little Ben stomping around the house in anger after she would once again see straight though his childish lie. "You have become someone special to him, Rey."

"I have?" A chill went down her spin. If it was of fear or excitement, she didn't want to know.

"Yes. He will be coming back for you. You have beaten him once, and he will not get you out of his head until he has beaten you back and proven to you that he is stronger. In the earlier days, I used to regard this resolution of his with pride… but he is know working with the First Order. One mistakes from you side could be fatal."

"What?" Rey hadn't looked at it this way. For her, whatever was between her and Kylo Ren was something personal. Thinking that the whole First Order thought it had something to say about it wasn't a really pleasant perspective.

"That is why," continued the General, ignoring the interruption, "you must become Luke's apprentice. Not because you want or because you must, but because you have to. You have chosen this pass the second you decided to defy my son."

"But I had no choice but to fight!" She cried.

"There is always a choice. You could have simply given him what he wanted, like all the others, but instead…" The woman trailed off a gave her a smile. "But it's not like you don't even stand a chance."

Rey became silent, thinking for a moment. There still was a slight problem. "But… I can't fight him. I will never be able to kill him. I had the chance once, I was even angry at him for–" She suddenly stopped talking, afraid that she had said to much and made a mistake.

"For killing Han?" Quietly finished Leia. "I am glad you didn't. I would have lost a husband and a son all at once."

"But he's Kylo Ren. He's… He's a murderer."

Leia crossed her hand on the table and sighted. "I am a princess of a planet that doesn't exist anymore, a General and a hero, but most of all, I am a mother, Rey. The mother of a little boy full of energy and good intention that grey into a powerful and talented young man. I know that this man is still alive, Rey. I know that there is still Light in him, just like you know there is too."

"Me?"

"Yes. That is why you can't hate him."

"But he must be hating me by now. It isn't fair. He can kill me without a problem and I can't. Not cold-blooded at least."

"But he doesn't hate you. He can't. He can be angry at you, angry to the point where he tells you that he hates you and even believes it, but I don't think that he hates you. And he won't be able to hate you even when you start you training to become a Jedi."

"Why?" Interrupted Rey. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Because if you take the path to the Light, you will have to overcome hate and go towards understanding instead. 'There is no ignorance, only knowledge'," she quoted from the Jedi code. "Nobody can hate when they feel understood. From what I can see, Rey, you understand him already better then many. And don't you think he feels that? Everybody wants to be understood."

That silenced the girl. Her hand came up to rest on the picture that was still hidden in her bra, against her heart. She still didn't understand that moment thought. She didn't know if she wanted to know the reason behind the care that was clear in his arms and the fact that he was so relaxed he had allowed himself to sleep with her on his lap.

"Imagine. Imagine if you could bring him back. Would you do it?" Asked the older woman.

"Bring him back?" She paused for a moment. The thought had not even occurred to her actually. "I think I would." That would make Leia happy to see her son again. She had worked so hard for the Resistance and had only been rewarded by the loss of her husband. She deserved to have at least her son back. "But how would I do that? He is well into the Dark Side. He won't come back."

"There is still Light in him, Rey, I know it. When he will see it in you, he will have to consider his choice one more time. Simply by existing, you pull him into the Light."

Rey's face grew darker. "But… there is a problem. I am not sure that I feel the call of the Light strongly enough. If we can… 'pull' each other, does that mean that I can be pulled too? What if I am the one who fall? I don't want to become a murderer."

Leia gave her a serene smile. "Do not trouble yourself with the idea of not being attracted enough. You don't desire what you already have, right?"

The simplicity of the idea was such that it left Rey with her mouth wide open. She wasn't feeling the call of the Light because she was standing in the Light already. "But how did… how do you know all this about the Force?"

"Well, if my destiny would have been but an inch different, I would have been the Jedi master and Luke would have been the prince in my place," answered the General with an amused smile.

"What?" Now the girl was confused.

"Didn't you know? Luke is my twin brother, but we got separated at birth and placed in different families to protect us from our father."

Rey jumped on her feet in astonishment, her eyes as wide as saucers. "What? Luke Skywalker is you brother?"

"You never made the link between us?" Now Leia was really looking like she was having fun.

The former scavenger's expression morphed as she thought of that new fact. She didn't remember master Skywalker all too well, but if he was as wise, as efficient and as role-model-like then Leia Solo… For the first time in many years, sparkles appeared in her eyes, the same that used to shine when she would spot Ben Solo trying to hide (and failing) from her.

That made the older woman laugh. "Changed your mind about going?"

"Oh yes!" She cried. She was really looking forward to meet her new master.

ooo

She had never seen so much water in her life.

The widest span of water she had seen and that she could remember, back on Jakku, had been the trough where caravans poured water for their beasts. Now, when she looked down at the ocean, she was literally mind-blown. So much, in fact, that it was Chewbacca that managed the landing.

The first thing she wanted to do was to investigate the edge of the water, touch it, taste it, feel it, but she was retained by the collar by the Wookie. He growled something and BB-8 translated that it was best that she searched for Master Skywalker first and then went to check out the sea later.

Oh yes. She was definitely checking the sea later. It looked like the lake that had been in front of Maz Katana's castle, but in much wider and alive, somehow. She wondered if it was drinkable. She wondered if she could – what was that verb again? Oh, yeah – swim in it. Wouldn't that be exciting? Even more exciting then a full poster of Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes all across the wall of her bedroom!

ooo

Rocks. Grass. Rocks. Grass. Rocks. Grass. Temple. Rocks. Grass. Rocks. Grass. Ruins. Grass. Oooh, how exciting! A tree! Just because she was that bored, she ran to hug it a moment.

That island was way bigger then it looked. Unless she was turning in circles, which was, on a practical sense, the same. For her eyes, that had been used to distinguish the smallest variation of dunes, every meadow looked exactly the same as the other. Green was a lovely color, her favorite, but it wasn't helping her at all. Why couldn't Luke Skywalker leave a trail? At least in the desert footsteps stayed imprinted on the sand a while and it was easier to find someone.

She eventually had the idea to climb up all the way to the top of the island to see if she could find him from there and she finally spotted a hooded figure in the distance. Her heart started to beat faster. It was a fateful meeting, or rather, a legendary reunion of a Master and an Apprentice. As she approached, it was the entire Galaxy's fate that was decided. She, the girl who walked in Light (the words of Leia had greatly stroked her ego), was about to meet her final Master, the one that would raise her to her true power.

She took her few last steps. In her head, some intense music was playing to make the moment all the most dramatic. She felt the breeze of adventure blowing on the back of her neck, pushing her forward until she was close to him. He turned around, stilling her with his blue gaze, and she stared back with firm resolution.

No words were spoken. She decided not to break the silence and took out the lightsaber, that she presented to the man. A confident smile bloomed on her lips. She had triumphed. She had found him. All the hardships of her journey flashed in front of her eyes, all leading to this very moment like a majestic symphony placing its final notes.

She breathed in deeply, getting ready to claim her name…

He nudged the air next to him. "Hey, Spooky, you think she got lost on the way?"

ooo

As you can see, it was one of these more serious chapters. Well, there is got to be a spine for all the craziness to hold on, right?

Do you remember theses sort of jazz like tunes that you hear around in Star Wars? There have a name: it's called jizz. Just a fun fact that I wanted to share with you, since I will probably mention it in later chapters. Like this, you already know it's not a typo mistake.

Talking about typo mistakes, I am really sorry if you stumble upon any while you are reading. I do proofread – but, due to my impatient/enthusiastic nature, I sometimes skips some mistakes, something that is made all to easy due to the fact that English isn't the language that I studied at school – it's French. That's why my sentences sometimes have a strange order to them, or why I use a word in a place where it sounds strange or misplaced. And that doesn't even count my natural typo mistakes.

I will re-read the whole thing once in a close future and will make it all better, pinky promise. I am anyway thinking that some parts of the story can be improved, so better do this all at once and be done with it.

As I was finishing this chapter I was suddenly called elsewhere and when I came back my computer had turned off (I really don't know why, it's not like anyone else was using it in the meantime). Anyway, since I hadn't saved my chapter, I had to start it all over again… and I made it even longer, so that's all for you benefit, right?