Chapter 13: The Pride of One

"I can tell you, but once you know, things may change." ~Sheeva

"I've never seen a lion try to be a fish before. Too bad it was a cat-astrophe!"

"He used up one of his lives on that one!"

"Wait guys, don't dampen his spirits!"

"You're right. He'd probably prefer some dry humor right about now!"

"Come on, he's just a little wet behind the ears!"

Maalum pulled himself out of the waterhole, his mane and fur now heavy with water. Even though a group of rhinos were laughing and cracking jokes, he couldn't manage to feel embarrassed for longer than a minute. He was still on cloud nine after the conversation with his father. It was the reason he ended up in the large waterhole in the first place; he was in such a daze that he didn't process he was walking straight toward it. He fell into the water, much to the amusement of the rhinos on the opposite side. He couldn't exactly blame them either.

Deciding against continuing to walk aimlessly while daydreaming, he took a seat at the edge of the waterhole. He shook off as much water as possible causing his mane to puff up around him. Somehow that only incurred more ribbing from the others, but also a remark about seeing Simba's mane do the same before. After a few minutes passed, the rhinos finished their drink and left. Alone once more, Maalum easily drifted back into his thoughts.

Tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning.

That's when they were supposed to depart to the jungle—to the place he was born and raised. The place he called home. With the lion who helped bring him into the world. And they would see the tigress who also helped bring him into the world.

He wasn't sure how he would get any sleep that night. Not when nervous excitement was boiling in him and the possibilities were endless. Just the idea of seeing his parents together left a lot to the imagination…

"I'm here looking for an herb that'll help an old paw injury of mine." Simba looked at the many plants growing from the jungle ground. "Ah, there is it! That one next to an orange and black foot…wait, an orange and black foot?" He lifted his head to see a tigress sitting before him. "You look familiar, like someone I once had a relationship with…"

"It is me, Simba. The tigress you once had a relationship with."

Simba's eyes widened, and he jaw hit the ground. "Sheeva!"

"I am surprised you bothered to remember my name when you clearly decided to forget everything else about me, including the fact that I was carrying your cub." She sauntered over to Maalum's side. "Well, I think it's time for some answers."

Simba's shock continued as he stared between the two of them. "You mean…the liger I let into my pride was actually my son? I had no clue, even though he ended up in my pride specifically and I know I had a relationship with a tigress."

"Answers, Simba."

He looked down in shame. "There is no excuse for what I've done, and no answer that'll take away the pain I've caused…but I think breaking into a song right now can start the healing process." He cleared his throat and struck a pose before starting to sing, "Please forgive the crimes of a King, sometimes a King is wrong. I've made mistakes, and caused heartbreaks, and expected everything to go on. But now I see the hurt in your eyes, and I can no longer deny you. So, tell me, please tell me, what this King can do for you."

Sheeva stepped forward. "I'm too old for reparations, too old for compensation. I don't want those things anyway. The past is the past, hakuna matata, today is a new day. Just start from here, love your son, and let this tigress rest. If you really want to make it up to me, you'll oblige me that one request."

Simba turned to Maalum. "Maalum, my son, my heir to the throne. I'm sorry I left you and your mother alone. Do you think you can forgive me? Do you think we can start anew? I'll be the father I never was, someone you can look up to. Give me a chance to make it right. I promise I'll be there this time."

Maalum stepped in between his mother and father. "I'm a really bad singer…but I just want to say, if you're really sorry and my mom forgives you, then we're making some headway. Hakuna matata is what I've been taught, so I bear no ill-will. I only want to be a family and continue to move uphill."

"Sheeva, Maalum…my family. We are one. Let's return to Pride Rock together and tell everyone."

The three broke into a unified dance then and started back toward Pride Rock. However, before they made it too far, Simba stopped and turned to them with smirk. A bad feeling grew in the pit of Maalum's stomach suddenly, and a darkness fell around them.

"Ha! You thought I was serious? You thought I'd actually bring you both back to Pride Rock? Don't kid yourself. There's a reason I left; I didn't care back then, and I don't care now. You can rot in this jungle." He let out a roar that startled Maalum and his mother into taking a few steps back. Then he laughed and continued to Pride Rock by himself.

Startled by the sudden direction his thoughts took, he jerked his head up. The possibility of the negative hit him for the first time. He had been so excited at the potential of his parents coming together that he hadn't even pondered a bad ending to this story. Simba learning the truth and rebuffing him and his mother for what could very well be a second time. Banning him from Pride Rock and keeping them a lost secret.

It then occurred to him that this could be his last day at Pride Rock. The thought grieved his heart more than he cared to admit. He hadn't been there long, but he came to like being a part of the pride and enjoyed everyone there. He didn't want to leave. He wanted to keep imaging things would go perfect, but he couldn't deny the possibility of it going over poorly.

If he had anything he wanted to do or say, today would be the day to do it. He would miss his sister. He hadn't spent so much time with her, but the time he did spend was enjoyable. He would also miss Timon and Pumbaa. He could tell they would've gotten along well if he stayed. He'd miss his grandmother. Her soft and yet regal demeanor was pleasant and comforting to be in the presence of. And he'd miss Vitani. Why? He didn't know. Maybe because she was the first lion he met there, and they spent more time together than he did with the others. Whatever the reason, not having her around to yell at him was somehow disheartening.

Before coming to Pride Rock, he often spent his days lazily lying around, just watching everything else live without really living himself. There were those random moments of spontaneity thanks to Fiji. Those included, but weren't limited to, visiting the darker side of the jungle, finding a leopard, and teaching Fiji how to hunt. But aside from those times, he never did much…and he didn't want to go back to that.

He looked around. All the other animals were gone, and no one was in sight. For the first time, he wished someone would come along and bother him. He sighed, laid down and rolled onto his back. The light rain had ceased, but there was still a breeze in the air and the sky was still cloudy. His first real moment of alone time and peace that wasn't at night…and he didn't want to be alone. He wanted to talk to someone. Granted, his journey earlier left him wanting to relax physically, but he wanted some else with him. Vitani. Yaya. His grandmother. Anybody. He even considered talking to Rafiki. The monkey seemed to think he belonged there, and he gave him good advice, but could he help him in this scenario? Where would he even find him?

Rolling back onto his paws, he looked in the distance at the outskirts. It was a start.

When he made it there several minutes later, he looked around only to find no sign of Rafiki. Not in the trees. Not walking around. Not anywhere. The Old-World monkey showed up when he wasn't wanted, but when Maalum finally wanted him, he was nowhere to be found. He huffed in irritation as he stared into the thickets of the outskirts. He sat there for a long minute, debating about his next move. He considered continuing his hunt for Rafiki, but then the thought of going to see his mother entered his mind. It was fairly impulsive…but he had the time and he wasn't supposed to be doing anything else. A pre-visit to his mother could be beneficial and help calm his mind. He looked back to see if anyone else was around before he started toward the jungle.

Sheeva's ear twitched at the rustling of bushes below. Not bothering to open her eyes, she just let out a light sigh. She already knew it was Fiji. The little monkey could be endearing at times, especially with his love for her son, but he could also be quite the pest. She didn't know if it was because she'd lost patience over the years, or if it was because Maalum was gone and so Fiji spent more time bothering her, but she found herself hiding from him most times. Instead of being discouraged though, the monkey thought it like a game of hide and seek and didn't cease his search of her until he was successful.

Trees weren't exactly the best hiding spot seeing as the monkey was in them a lot, but the large leaves hid her orange fur better than anything else. When the sound of movement got closer, she decided to leave before she was found completely. She opened her eyes and jumped down from the tree only to be surprised that it wasn't Fiji.

"Maalum." She was pleasantly surprised at the sight of her son. Though she asked him not to let it be so long before he came back, she didn't expect to see him again so soon. Her gaze softened with love as she nuzzled him. "You came back quicker than expected. Anything wrong?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah."

Something was wrong. Maalum had a good poker-face, but as his mother, she could always see through it. However, she knew her son often had a lot in his head and wouldn't talk about something until he was ready. Regardless if she knew something was wrong or not, she'd have to wait for him to come clean. She sat down next to him. "Tell me, how was your trip this time? Did you remain hidden again or did you go speak to Simba like you wanted to?"

He hesitated. "I spoke to him…not about who I am though. He thinks I'm an outcast and has let me into his pride."

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh? How has it been?"

"…good."

"Just good?"

Much to her surprise, a smile came to his face—small at first, but then it grew. "Great, actually. I mean it's been stressful trying to keep up with my story, but everything is so new and interesting. I went on the morning patrol with Simba, and learned about his Uncle and father. Me and Kiara—Simba's daughter—went hunting together and she almost got hurt. I met Timon and Pumbaa; they're funny and I can see why they were your good friends. Vitani—she's the lioness I met before—well, let's just say she can be so hard to understand, but I think we made some progress today. Also there's this weird monkey there too; he keeps insisting I belong there and shows up at the most random times. Oh, and earlier today Kovu left me alone in the elephant graveyard. He can be a pain like that, but I met this albino hyena named Yaya…"

As Maalum rambled on, Sheeva found herself surprised again. She hadn't seen him show this much excitement and interest about anything since he was a cub. In such a short time, he'd come back happier. He really enjoyed himself. And she could see a change in him, a good one. This is what he needed all along. She smiled genuinely. She was happy for him.

"…and she's really nice, but also really forward. Simba said I can come in the den now, but I'm a little afraid of what will happen if I do."

"My, my, my. One day my son watches from afar, and the next, he's a new member of the pride with several friends and a potential mate."

Maalum flattened his ears. "I'm not looking for a mate."

"You weren't looking to join the pride so suddenly either, were you?"

He frowned.

"Don't close yourself off to the idea. Besides, I want grand-cubs." She smirked, to which he flattened his ears again. "But to hear about your journey and see your happiness, makes me happy, Maalum. I'm glad you finally found what you were looking for."

His gaze softened as he looked at her. "It's not that I was missing anything here. The jungle is a great place and you're a great mother—"

"You don't have to explain anything. I understand, trust me."

Maalum mirrored her smile, and there was a moment of silence before he let out a sighed. "Would you like to see him again?"

Finding the question to be a little out of left field, she raised an eyebrow at him. "Not particularly, no."

He just stared at her.

"Maalum, my responses haven't changed since you started questioning me about this subject. It was a long time ago, and I have no reason to dig up old bones."

"What about closure? What about answers?" He rose to his paws. "What if I brought him here? The three of us could—"

"No." She cut him off sharply without warning. She knew it surprised him because it surprised herself. She hadn't meant for it to come out as coarse as it did, but she did mean to bring an end to the direction of his thoughts. While she was happy that he was getting the answers he wanted, she didn't want to be brought in the midst. She looked away.

"…are you afraid?"

Still facing the opposite direction, Sheeva's eyes got low and she shook her head.

"It's okay if you are. I'm afraid too." His own eyes were low. "I don't want him to turn us away after learning the truth."

Now she turned back to him. Him admitting his own fear was unexpected; Maalum was typically indifferent and for him to show such vulnerability, even to her, was telling. It meant that his stay at Simba's pride brought his otherwise hidden feelings to the surface. It also meant he was genuinely afraid of being denied. Her heart filled with compassion as she stared at his crestfallen demeanor.

"Maalum…" She let out a heavy sigh and closed the little distance in between them by pulling him into an embrace. "Deep down I always knew this would happen—you going to find out about your father. I didn't want it to, because there were some things I didn't want you to know, but I knew you needed this, so I encouraged you instead."

When the embrace was over, he looked at her quizzically. "What didn't you want me to know?"

Remaining silent, she took a few steps back and she sat down.

"Mom?"

"Are you sure you want to know the answer to that, Maalum?" Her tone took a grave turn. She wished it hadn't come to this. When Maalum only narrowed his eyebrows in confusion, she continued, "I can tell you, but once you know, things may change."

"What things?"

"Things you thought were stable."

His confused only intensified from there, but he nodded.

She hesitated. "He came back."

"He came back…?"

"I told you that Simba left to go take his place as King. It was sudden and unexpected. Timon and Pumbaa went with him, and I was left here alone." She paused again. "But he came back..."

Sheeva lounged by the stream, absentmindedly humming the tune to 'Hakuna Matata'. She was there physically, but her mind was elsewhere. It hadn't been long since she was left alone, but she grew quite accustomed to the solitary life. She missed the three guys of their outcast group, but it felt naturally comfortable to be alone. Of course, she knew this before they left as she would often go off by herself for short periods of time. However, she always came back to them. Not having them to come back to left her heavy-hearted, but she wouldn't let it stunt her. She survived her parents' capture as a cub and several dangerous adventures growing up—there was nothing she couldn't handle. Not even Simba leaving her with…

"Sheeva!"

The sound of a familiar voice brought her back to reality. She looked over her shoulder to see none other than the lion himself, bounding happily toward her.

"Simba?" She was still in a daze as Simba launched himself at her without warning and pinned her down.

He grinned as he stood over her. "Since when were you this easy to pin? Or did you finally put an end to your cheating ways?"

She couldn't help but to stare at him with a wide-eyed expression. She hadn't thought she'd see him again and yet here he was, as if nothing was different. Just seeing him reminded her how much she missed their group and him specifically. She recovered after a moment. "Do you really think you have the upper hand here?" Before he could respond, she put her hind legs underneath him and pushed him aside without trouble. He almost fell into the stream, but managed to catch his balance.

His grin only widened. "Nope, still a cheater."

She smiled softly as she rose to her paws, but then raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing here?"

"I came back for you." He began to pace back and forth in front of her. "Things got a little hectic, all of a sudden—I saw my Dad in clouds and he told me to remember who I was and Rafiki hit me on the head and I had to go back to my home to stop my Uncle and take my place as King." He stopped to take a breath, and then looked back at her. "In all the commotion, I forgot that I didn't have everyone with me."

"Simba…"

"I'm really sorry."

She couldn't find the words at first, but eventually she just shook her head. "Thank you for coming back…but I can't go with you."

"Why not?"

"There's no place for me there." With that, she started walking off deeper into the jungle.

Simba followed closely. "Of course, there is. Timon and Pumbaa are there."

"Timon and Pumbaa can live anywhere as long as there are bugs around. I'm not so easily placed."

"There's always a place for you with us."

She remained silent for a long moment, but eventually came to a stop and faced him. "…us being you and your betrothed?" When his smile disappeared, and he didn't speak, she continued, "I saw the way you looked at her, Simba. There's still something there. And I'm not going to stand in the way of it."

Simba looked torn—a look she'd only seen on him a handful amount of times. She knew her friend; he would never do anything to intentionally hurt her. He hadn't thought any feelings would arise with his previous betrothed—let alone that he'd see her again—but fate had other plans. It was clear he felt bad about the whole situation, and that he never meant for it to happen…but that didn't change the fact that it did.

Before she could walk away again, he spoke, "But there's something here too, between us."

She shook her head slowly. "We should've never got that close."

"Sheeva."

"It was a mistake." She sighed and took a few steps toward the nearest tree. "Go back home to your betrothed and pride, Simba. A King doesn't belong in the jungle. He never did." She climbed up the tree before he could protest.

"Sheeva, wait." He tried to follow her up, but couldn't maintain his grasp and slipped down. He looked up at her with a determined expression. "I'm not leaving without you. You're my best friend. I need you there. I'm sorry about how things happened, but I came back for you because you're important to me. We'll work everything out. Please."

Sheeva kept silent and looked away as she sat on one of the branches. She only looked back to him when she heard claws against bark. She watched a still determined looking Simba try to climb the tree. He tried and failed. Tried and failed. Tried and failed. Again. Again. Again.

"Stop it, Simba." She breathed out eventually. "I'm not going back with you."

He didn't stop though. He continued trying to climb the tree for a long time in spite of her words. She was surprised to see him make it further up than ever before in his attempts, but it still wasn't enough. He had to be on the fiftieth try and about halfway up when he fell down and land on his paw wrong.

"Ouch!"

Sheeva look at him, concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he breathed out, "just twisted it a bit."

Silence.

"Get the white herb Timon taught us about, and go home, Simba. Don't come back."

He looked up at her. Soft, disheartened eyes met solemn, stubborn eyes ones.

After what felt like forever, Simba finally turned away. He started walking with a light limp. "There's always a place for you in my life, Sheeva. You don't have to do anything alone if you don't want to. Never forget that."

Sheeva watched him leave until he was out of sight. Then she looked down at her stomach and sighed. She couldn't go with him and she certainly couldn't tell him. Not with the way things were. It wouldn't be easy, but she was built for difficult situations. She would be fine. She always was. "Goodbye, Simba."

There's always a place for you in my life, Sheeva.

You don't have to do anything alone if you don't want to.

Never forget that.

Maalum could hear his father's voice. He could see his saddened figure walk away and disappear in the trees. A few feet away, he could see the cub version of himself sulking quietly, under the impression that his father left because of him. The cub turned into an adolescent, mane and frame growing, but the same dispirited expression on his face. The adolescent turned into the grown lion he currently was, questions in his heart that he learned to mask with indifference. The memory of himself walked over to his real mother and disappeared. He was left facing the tigress that just shook the world he thought he knew.

He wanted to say something, if only to relieve the growing awkwardness, but he had no words. He dropped his gaze to the ground, too stunned to look at her longer than seconds at a time. The silence between them became deafening, and yet the world still went on around them. Leaves rustled. Bird chirped. Bugs buzzed. As if everything was normal…but it wasn't.

There was always a part of him that believed his father left because of him, and though Sheeva discouraged the idea, it was still with him subconsciously. On top of viewing himself lowly, he viewed his father even lower. He imagined him as evil for leaving the mother of his cub. He imagined him as cruel for not caring about them. His mind created a twisted image of him that haunted his dreams throughout the years. He struggled to accept the real version of Simba he'd met. Nice, patient, caring. He wasn't sure if he'd switch over to the version in his head at any moment. To learn that that version never existed in the first place…

It was his mother who turned Simba away. The one he thought was wronged…was the one who was wrong. She made the choice, and knowing who she was as a tigress, it wasn't necessarily shocking that she did so. It was the long-term effects of such a decision that really stunned him. Because of her pride, he didn't have a father in his life growing up. Because of her pride, he struggled to accept himself. Because of her pride, they were in the situation they were. How different could things have been if she went with Simba or even just told him that Maalum was on the way?

After what seemed longer than it actually was, he looked back up at her. Her solemn expression was gone, and she looked just as heavy-hearted as him, if not more. He hated to see her like that, but he couldn't bring himself to comfort her. And when it appeared that she would try to comfort him instead, he took a step back. The action sent a visible wave of grief over her and she dropped her head guiltily. "Maalum, you know I never meant to hurt you in all this."

"I thought he left because of me...but it was because of you."

"I'm a tiger, Maalum. I didn't belong in a pride full of lions, especially under those circumstances. It wouldn't have turned out well."

"You robbed me of so much."

His voice was soft, and it was evident that he didn't want a response. Sheeva obliged him with a silence that lasted a few minutes before sighing. Now it was her turn to show a rare side of vulnerability.

"I have very few regrets. For your benefit, I wish I could say that was one of them, but it's not. I made the choice I thought was best for me, you and Simba. And it's not perfect, but I spared all three of our lives certain troubles because of my decision. Maalum, from the moment you were born, you were the light of my life and that hasn't changed. You asked me if I was afraid. Well I am now. I'm afraid of losing you." She turned away. "I hope one day you can forgive me."

She padded off then and Maalum let her go, turning away himself. He remained in his thoughts for a long minute. Eventually, he started in the opposite direction where he'd come from. Maybe a trip back here with Simba wasn't the best idea after all. Clearly, his mother didn't wish to see him, and it wasn't necessary; Maalum himself could just tell him his true identity. There would be no dancing, song-filled, happy ending here.

It took longer to get back to Pride Rock than it ever did before. He assumed it was because he'd never been weighed down with such a heavy heart before.

Early update. This chapter took an unexpected turn. I always try to plan out what happens next for each chapter, but this one kinda just went its own way. In any case, I hope you enjoyed it and thanks for reading and/or reviewing. Peace and grace, friends.