"Forever and Always – For Eternity"
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Title: "Forever and Always: For Eternity"
Author: Michelle Heath
Rating: MA for adult situations and language
Summary: Story #6 in the Salvation, Forever and Always Series. The honor of your presence is requested at the wedding of Lana Palea and Chin Ho Kelly.
Disclaimer: I so do not own Hawaii Five-0; unfortunately! All original characters are the sole property of the author!
Date Written: June 1, 2011
"Where are you right now?"
"I'm at my apartment."
"Do you know that little Italian restaurant that's just outside the base?"
"The one with the red, green, and white striped awnings?"
"That's the one. Meet there in . . . Thirty minutes; we'll talk. Okay?"
"Okay."
(Sam ends the call and debates on whether or not to ask her sister to go with her to meet Lana, but decides against it for the time being. Lana will tell Caroline what's going on when she's ready for her to know, and, besides, Lana just might open up to Sam a little more easily if no one else is around. Taking care of a few things that have to be handled before lunch, Sam tells Adm. Henderson's secretary she's going to lunch and heads for the restaurant. Lana has already arrived when Sam gets there and Sam is shocked when she walks to the table and sees Lana. The poor woman looks like she hasn't slept in a couple of days, her eyes are red and puffy from crying and there are dark circle beneath them, and she is pale. As soon as they have placed their orders and the server walks away from the table, tears fill Lana's eyes and slide down her face)
"I've totally screwed up, Sam! I've ruined everything!"
"Maybe you should start at the beginning, Lana. What happened?"
"I don't know. One minute we were fine and the next we were talking about putting off the wedding."
"How long's this been going on, Lana?"
"It started a couple of weeks ago. Chin and I were packing up some things to move to his house one night, and we had the television on watching the news. A story came on about some drug dealer's trial and Chin stopped what he was doing and started watching. The longer I sat there watching him, the more I started to think about his job, and the more I thought about his job, the more I started to think about what I went through when he was shot, and the more I thought about that, well, you get the idea."
"Oh, Sweetie!"
"Sam, I know we've already had this discussion, and, logically, I know that everything you said to me is true. Any of us could be injured or killed at any time. But the emotional part of me isn't listening to the rational side of me. I'm scared, Sam! I honestly don't know what I'd do if something happened to Chin; if he was suddenly gone from my life. I think I would just . . Waste away and die,"
"As would I if anything ever happened to Steve. That's why I give every, single moment we spend together everything I have in me. I choose to put every ounce of energy, all of the love in my heart into every word, every touch, every kiss because, even if we both live to be a hundred, I don't want Steve to ever think, for one split-second, that I don't love him with all my heart."
"I not as strong as you are, Sam."
"Yes, you are; you just don't realize it."
"Sam. . ."
"What attracted you to Chin in the first place?"
"What?"
"What drew you to him? Why did you even think about going out with him?"
"I watched him; at the hospital when Steve was shot before you got married. He was always looking out for you and Kono, and even Danny, but, at the same time, he was doing his job and doing it well and without drawing a lot of attention to himself. He was gentle and kind and I could tell that he really cared about all of you, that he was truly a good man. You know the kind of people I grew up with, Sam, you know what happened to me when I was fourteen, but Chin. . . He was everything good and decent that was missing from my life. I think I started to fall in love with him before he ever asked me out."
"When did you fall out of love with him, Lana?''
"When did I what?"
"When did you fall out of love with Chin?"
"I. . . I didn't."
"You don't want to go through with the wedding because you don't want to live in fear for the rest of your life. Isn't that going to happen anyway? I mean, you just told me you were still in love with him. Do you really think that not marrying Chin is going to change the way you feel about him? Sure he has a job that's a little on the risky side, but he loves what he does, Lana, and that's part of what makes him the man you fell in love with. If you walk away from him, you're never going to have any peace because you're still going to love him whether the two of you are together or not."
(For several long minutes, Lana just looks at Sam with a stricken expression on her face as tears continue to slip down her face. Sam is aware that Lana is thinking over everything she just said and prays that she was able to find the right words to get through to her friend. Their lunch is delivered to their table but neither of them makes any move to eat. Lana is having a serious inner conversation with herself and Sam remains silent to allow Lana to think. Finally, Lana looks at Sam with near-desperation in her eyes and an almost pleading tone in her voice.)
"What do I do, Sam? How do I fix this?"