HELLOOOOO! I'm back. Sorry for the delay. Got a little bit pre-occupied with work and had stuff going on so this was a slow paced writing. I would like to thank everyone who has been continually reading this and has been leaving comments and suggestions. I seriously appreciate it. Btw, I try my best to reply to your comments through private messages so check those out, I love to chat. :) Also, ideas and suggestions are always welcome. Keep 'em coming. This chapter may or may be the turning point of the story. So here goes nothing. I hope you enjoy this chapter. JCappers thank you for always plugging this on twitter.
After Jackson and April's scene at the cafeteria, Arizona knew that she had to do something for Eliza. Something to fix the mess that they were in. After performing a surgery, she was walking through the halls of the hospital when she bumped into the person that she had in mind.
Richard Webber has been a good friend to Arizona, ever since her split with Callie. He was there to give her wisdom about life, as well as profession and he also became a good friend and wing man to the blonde. To Arizona, the least she could do for Richard, during this power struggle with Bailey, was to have his back. And she did. Falling for Eliza Minnick was nowhere in Arizona's plan. It was something spontaneous and instantaneous as well. It wasn't something she could control. She fell for Eliza and she fell hard, to a point of no return. But her feelings for Eliza didn't change her mind that Webber was wronged and blind sided by Bailey for the sudden change. It might sound off since she kept her relationship with Eliza a secret but she did remain loyal to Richard.
"Hey, Richard." Arizona greeted the older surgeon with a smile. Not her usual magic smile, just a small smile to keep things pleasant as they both settled by the nurse station.
"Hey there, Robbins. How was surgery?" He asked. It was a habit that Richard hasn't shaken off ever since his stint as chief. He still feels like he has to take care of everyone, including his attendings.
"It was great. Just a routine procedure." Arizona replied while updating the chart she was holding. When he just replied with a nod, the air of silence gave Arizona the chance to inject the conversation she had in mind. "I actually wanted to talk to you about Minnick." she said casually.
Richard gave a small chuckle. "You heard huh?" he said with a smile. "All I can say is it's about damn time?" The peds surgeon started to wonder what her friend was saying.
"Heard what?" she clarified, completely clueless of what he was talking about.
"Well, you know how the rumor mill goes here. And rumor has it that she went into Bailey's office this afternoon to quit so I guess we have won this civil war." He proudly said giving her a big smile and a small fist pump to the air. "We put up a good fight, Robbins. Thanks for having my back." Richard said before giving her a small pat on the back and walking away.
Hearing that news almost made Arizona world crumble. Eliza was leaving and it was all because of her. It was all because of her stupid fears. There were a million things running through her head right now. A million things she wants to say, she wants to do. She had to do something but somehow her feet were stoned to the ground, unable to move. After a couple more minutes of racking her brain of something rational to do, she bolted out of the hospital and to the place where she can get her answers.
Almost out of breath, she knocked on the door. More of banged on the door. She needed the answers to her questions now and there was this sensation that she felt that if she doesn't get them instantly, both her brain and her heart going to explode from working itself into an overdrive.
When the door opened after multiple knocks she was faced with the tear strained face of her girlfriend. "What are you doing here?" Eliza quickly asked, taking in the sudden presence of Arizona on her doorstep, noticing that the blonde was catching her breath, her face contorted into confusion. Arizona, on the other hand, saw a suitcase by the living room couch which confirmed her fear. Eliza was leaving.
Before Eliza could get any other word in, Arizona threw herself onto her girlfriend and hugged her, tighter than any other hug she gave out before. Eliza was taken back, so it took her a couple of seconds before she wrapped her arms around Arizona and that was when she realized the blonde was crying into her shoulder. There were no words coming out from her, she was just crying.
They stood at the doorway hugging each other for a few minutes, Eliza's hand running up and down her girlfriend's back to comfort her. "Don't go." That was all Eliza heard from the muffled voice Arizona had in between her sobs and cry. "Please, don't go." As Arizona uttered those words, she strengthen her grip around Eliza, not wanting to give the brunette a chance to let go.
"Arizona.." Eliza started to speak, trying to release herself from the embrace but as she tried the tighter Arizona held her.
"I was going to tell him today, but he told me you were leaving." she said cutting off Eliza. "You said, you just needed space and I'm willing to give you all the space you need but I can't let you leave. I can't let you walk out of my life. Not without one hell of a fight."
"Arizona.." Eliza tried again to release herself but still Arizona won't budge. "Arizona, I kind of need that space at this very moment." she said pertaining to the tight embrace they were locked in. The peds surgeon slowly released her but was still cautious in giving her all the space.
"Where are you going?"
"Boston." Eliza simply replied waiting for Arizona's reaction. The blonde nodded in understanding and tried her best to blink the tears away but as usual, her emotions betrayed her. Upon, realizing that she was yet again making her girlfriend cry Eliza clarified the situation. "It's for a job interview. A potential attending position, as well as a residency program director."
"So you are leaving." Arizona stated, letting the news sink in to let her brain absorb the information that her girlfriend was moving to another state because she screwed up.
"I asked Bailey to give me 4 days to go to Boston. I'm coming back after that. My contract here isn't done yet." she naturally informed Arizona, waiting for a reaction.
"So you're not leaving?" she asked in clarification.
"No." she quickly countered. "Or at least not yet." Eliza honestly answered. "My contract is up in a month, I have to be realistic here. They will not let me stay, so I have to make a plan."
"But where am I in your plan, Eliza?" Arizona asked, needing to know her place in Eliza's life. A part of her cursed herself because she was pretty sure that this was how she was making Eliza feel, the past 3 months. "Were you just going to leave after a month and have me as a distant memory?"
"Of course not."Eliza immediately replied. "To be honest, I haven't thought this through. I don't have a concrete plan yet. I just need a fall back because my first plan will always be where I can be with you." Eliza explained placing a hand on Arizona's cheek, trying to make her feel the sincerity in her words. "But life doesn't always give us what we want so we have to be practical."
Arizona understood where Eliza was coming from, doesn't mean she likes the idea, but she definitely understand. "When do you leave for Boston?"
"Tomorrow, before lunch." Eliza informed.
"Can I stay with you, tonight?" The permission Arizona asked for had a hint of pleading. She needed to be with Eliza right now. She wanted to make use of the time they have together to it's full capacity rather than spending it apart. "Just tonight."
Eliza thought it over but she knew the answer at once. She knows she needed Arizona, as well. "I won't have it any other way." she gave the blonde a smile before taking her hand and leading her into the bedroom.
Lying in bed, Arizona held Eliza tight. She tried to fight back the tears that kept coming but things were taking a toll on her. They both lie awake, not wanting to let go of the moment. Eliza was running her hand through Arizona's hair deep in thought of what she can do to be able to stay with Arizona but at the same keep her career at the pace it was going. She is a brilliant surgeon, she's in demand but she also knew that even with those facts in check, Grey Sloan Memorial has no place for her.
"I still want to tell them." Arizona broke the silence.
"You don't have to." Eliza replied sincerely. "If I'm leaving in a month, there's no point in turning the place against you for no reason."
"That's the point." Arizona interjected. "I'm not letting you leave without a fight." she said letting tears start up again. "I will tell them and explain to them why you need to stay. You're an amazing surgeon and you're program is really helping." Arizona listed down all the professional reasons why Eliza should stay. "Plus, I need you here." her voice started to break once more. "Because the things I feel for you is not something I can just let go of." Arizona's voice trembled. "If it's something you can do, I can't."
Eliza shifted her buddy so she could fully wrap her arms around Arizona and kissed her forehead. "Never think for a second that I want to leave you." Eliza eyes were also starting to get clouded by the tears that were threatening to fall. "You have no idea how much it hurts me inside that I can't have all of you." She took a short pause. "I don't want to leave. I don't' want you to think that. I don't want to leave you because I'm so in love with you, Arizona Robbins that I can't even begin to think how I can function without you." Eliza has been struggling to hold back her feelings with Arizona so she let the moment dictate her. She felt Arizona tense in her arms at the exact moment she told her she loves her. She didn't expect the blonde to say it back but it felt good to say it. "I told you from the start that you have the power to break me, and it's breaking me to know how much I love you but at the same time, feel like what we're doing is wrong." Her tears have started to cascade though her face. "Amelia said that if it's not complicated, it's not love but then I thought, it's supposed to be simple between you and me. We're happy together. We're great together. The feelings go both ways but why is everything so complicated?"she sniffed and tried to control her breathing. Arizona still remained silent. "I just want you to know that no matter what happens, what we have is real. That I fell in love with you and that's the a fact that I will carry with me." Eliza concluded before enveloping Arizona into a tighter hug. Both remained silent after that and just felt each others presence. Not long after, both of them drifted to sleep.
The few days later, Arizona went to the hospital for her shift but her mind was flying elsewhere, knowing that Eliza was on her trip to Boston, possibly to get a job that would end their relationship. She was practically walking around the hospital like a zombie. She felt like she was always about to break down. There's was a constant stinging pain in her chest that makes breathing hard and it doesn't help that her tears keep on betraying her. She has lost count of how many times she had to excuse herself to go to a stock room or on call room and have a good cry for 5 minutes before carrying on pretending nothing's wrong.
"Arizona!" Amelia called out from the end of the corridor, running to catch up with her friend. When Amelia saw Arizona's state she knew that it had something to do with Eliza. "How are you doing?" she asked, concerned for her friends' relationship. She's been noticing Arizona the past few days and how she looked so dejected.
"I feel like crap." Arizona was thankful for Alex and Amelia, even Andrew, for having her back ever since they found out about her relationship with Eliza. At least she could talk to someone about her dilemma. "Her interview's today."
"Boston." Amelia said confirming that she knew about Eliza's trip. "You think she'll take it? I mean there's no question if she'll get it. Obviously she will."
"I really don't know. I hope not." she said leaning on a wall behind her, feeling as exhausted as ever. "She told me she loves me." she said, looking at Amelia.
"So she actually did it." Amelia chuckled a little remembering the day Eliza's eureka moment in front of her and how she switched into a whole new vocabulary.
"You knew?" Arizona asked curiously, surprised. Amelia nodded and gave Arizona a small smile.
"She realized after your fight. She was trying to sort her head out and in result she sorted her feelings out." Amelia explained. "She originally didn't want to tell you because she doesn't want to force you to publicize your relationship because of that. She really cares for you, Arizona."
Arizona blinked away the tears that were about to fall. "I know that. And I hope I could make her feel the same way."
"She knows that. She just doesn't want you to lose most of the people you love for choosing her." Amelia advocated for Eliza. "So what did you say when she said she loves you?" Amelia saw the hesitation the washed over Arizona's face. "You said it back, right?" Arizona shook her head. "What?" Amelia's tone went higher than the usual.
"I said nothing." Arizona admitted, realizing what had transpired that night Eliza told her she loves her.
"You let her go to Boston…" Amelia started a quick lecture. "..for a job that she could potentially take.." Arizona started to cringe. "…without saying you love her too?" Amelia clarified. Arizona stammered to answer because she realized her mistake. Amelia's pager went off. "We'll talk later." she said before darting off to the pit.
Arizona walked to the attendings lounge and sat on the sofa. She felt like today was hell. Everything running through her mind was not helping her cope with the physical stress work gave her. She kept on thinking about Eliza and her interview. She quickly got her phone from her pocket and saw that there was a message notification. She quickly opened it hoping it was from Eliza. She felt like smiling when she saw that it was indeed from her. She pressed on the message and read it.
'I got the job.'
Without noticing, a tear rolled down her cheek. She felt all her fears come to life and then before she knew it she was crying her eyes out.
Richard Webber walking into the attendings lounge, intending to refresh himself with a cup of coffee but was surprised to see his friend crying. It worried him to see Arizona so distraught, so he went and sat beside her, rubbing her back for comfort.
"What's the problem?" he asked, wanting to help Arizona feel better. He has seen Arizona's ups and downs and lately he knows she's been doing better than how she was post break up with Callie. "You can tell me." he urged her to speak.
"She's leaving." was the only thing Arizona said before completely breaking down.