A/n: So on November 14th my internet is going to be out. For how long, I dunno. Updates after then will be not as frequent, depending if I can maybe upload it from another computer or so. That being said, I'mma go ham and update as much as I can! Hopefully I'll be able to finish this fic by that time! I'll try to write a chapter everyday, but again REVIEWS really inspire me! Please keep them coming, and I'll keep the chapters coming! Even the simplest of reviews help! Selfish, I know, but I can't help it!

Testing The Waters

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Chapter 13

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After the announcement of Matsuoka's involvement in the relay at regionals, that seemed to motivate each of the Iwatobi swim club members resolve. With the big day closing in, they practiced constantly, working hard and thoroughly to get into top shape. Mamoru watched, seemingly mesmerized by how well they worked as a team. Unfortunately, she was dragged to another practice to Atsuko's dismay. How she even agreed to it was beyond her, but her complaints died prematurely when she saw Makoto's kind smile. Even the evilest of hearts couldn't resist his pureness. Mamoru had a sinking feeling that he may have been remotely aware of his ..influence.

Coach Sasabe was again present, dictating them on their form and speed. He really was a good coach, Mamoru thought grimly, but he seems a bit too enthusiastic for my tastes. As the grown man berated them with his raspy, strong voice, he finally brought out the big guns. Cameras. Nearly 5 of them positioned in ways that would capture each swimmers faults and strengths through the pool. It was inspiring, and even if she denied it, she did enjoyed watching them.

As hard as she also tried to play it off, she had noticed something off with Rei. Her classmate seemed too quiet, even a bit down. Somehow Haruka had also detected the slight change in his friend's demeanor. Mamoru debated whether she should say something, until a tiny voice cooed to leave it be. He was practicing right now, and it wasn't her problem. She rather liked Rei, but she wasn't emotionally attached to him, and nor was he to her. Asking him of his troubles would be meddling, and that was a trait she'd rather not develop.

She sat with Gou, watching in interest of the footage captured of each swimmer. Her eyes lingered on Haru's video longer than she intended. Her eyes traced the sculpted muscles bemusedly. She heard the slap of wet feet against pavement. A presence hovered near her, and Mamoru flinched instinctively. Haru stood behind her, watching his footage carefully. Assessing his form and what could be improved and worked on. He leaned in subconsciously, his face elevating closer to Mamoru's. She stared at him, his calculating expression, his narrow features, a defined jawline, pretty deep cerulean irises, thin pink lips-

Haru seemed to realize someone was staring at him, and his eyes flickered to hers in a silent question. She blinked at him, he mirrored the look. With another blink, Haru turned around, walking back to the pool. Her eyes followed his form, trailing down the firm muscles, tarrying the indents of his back dimples to the back of his swimming trunks. And damn that's a tight-

No!Mamoru inwardly cringed. Do not trek into dangerous waters.

She slapped a hand to her eyes, obscuring the view of Haru's bottom. When she heard the familiar splash, she knew he had dove back to his sanctuary of water. Hesitating slightly, she peeled away one clammy finger to make sure Haru was actually in the pool and away from her lingering eyes.

"Um, Mamoru-san..?" Said female jolted in surprise. She spun around to greet Rei, her hands behind her back. "What're you doing?" At his question, her eyes immediately dropped to his chest, peering and glancing at every carve of muscle and beauty mark on the peachy torso. And as much as she tried to suppress the perverted urge, her green orbs shot downwards to his crotch. "M-Mamoru-san!" Mamoru finally broke out of her trance, realizing that Rei was utterly aware of her gaze. Self-consciously, he crossed two muscular arms across his chest. His face was warming into a brilliant shade of red and Mamoru was sure she was the same.

"S-sorry! I-I mean! I didn't mean to-!" She started to laugh out of nervous habit. "I'm sorry!"

"What's going on?" Asked Makoto, curious of the sudden scene taking place. Mamoru turned around, about to explain but her eyes found perked, pink nipples. They were hard from the exposure of the pool's cool temperature. "Mamo-chan!?"

"Shit. Sorry!" She slapped two hands to her eyes, blocking her vision. He was her cousin for Chrissake!

"Mamo-chan! You're such a pervert!" Nagisa jeered with a laugh. Makoto sighed.

It was Amakata who intervened. She smiled warmly. "Being surrounded by boys 24/7- it's only natural for a lady to be overwhelmed at times. There was a saying, 'a girl-"

"I'm not overwhelmed!" Mamoru interrupted, fluster evident in her near squeak. "I just.. it was an accident..!"

"An accident that happened three times?" Dripping went and bored-faced, it was Haru that commented, surprisingly. Mamoru looked away pointedly.

"Three times?! Na Mamo-chan, you really are a pervert!" The blonde puffed out his chest with a wide smirk, hands placed on his waist. "I'll let your eyes wander on me, so you don't have to hide it anymore!" Mamoru's eyebrow twitched, her eyes narrowed. She snatched the towel around Haru's neck, it was damp - just as expected. She rolled it up and slapped the blonde swimmer with a snap of her wrist. Nagisa yelped when he felt the sharp sting of the wet towel. She did it again, and Nagisa started run in the other direction, an annoyed Mamoru not too far off. The sound of Nagisa's yelps drowned out the laughter in the background.

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After swim practice, everyone was invited back to Coach Sasabe's house for dinner.

"Are you sure you don't want to come, Mamo-chan?" Makoto asked gently, a persuading look of concern on his face. Mamoru glanced away, know full well that she wouldn't be able to resist if she saw that face. She was, after all, trying to keep a healthy distance between herself and the others. "Coach Sasabe's cooking is really good." He tried again. Realizing that he was, in fact, trying to rekindled the relationship they had, her stubbornness reared it's impenetrable head. When she wanted something, she knew what buttons she needed to press, and if that didn't work, persistent determination was her immediate fallback. Unfortunately for him, his subtle manipulation did not work when she dug her heels in, refusing to move.

Somethings never changed, he thought. He'd have to reach for another card. Before he could think of something, she shrugged on her bag, plucking her iPod out, headphones now hanging around her neck. "I'll see you later." She murmured.

"W-wait!" Makoto blurted in panic. She glanced at him. Not being able to think of something, he sighed, giving up. "Never mind." He couldn't completely extinguish the disappointment in his voice. "See you at home.." He said instead, rather lamely.

"Mhm." Was her distant response. As she placed on her headphones to hug the top of her head, her back started to get smaller and smaller with each step she took.

"Huh? Mamo-chan's leaving?!" Nagisa suddenly appeared. Makoto nodded before sending his friend a smile. It was quiet for a moment, then he sighed.

"Let's go catch up with the others."

Granted when I got back to the house, I was bombarded with the hollering of my smaller cousins. I ended up getting dragged to their room. Two single beds at each corner of the room. It was messy. Ran's stuff was branded in pink and girlish stuff toys, while Ren's bed was decorated with dinosaurs and even some comic books. Though even he had a plain, scuffled teddy bear that lain strewn on his bedside. It made me smile.

I spent the rest of my day with the twins, playing a game of spies. Then we changed it to hide-and-seek, and finally tag. By the time night crawled around, we were tuckered out and panting. We ate dinner, and from there, the twins were sent to bed. Submissively, I allowed myself to resign early to catch up on much needed sleep. I ended up stumbling into my room tiredly, not even stopping to properly make sure this was my room. Even if it wasn't, I was sure Makoto would be crashing over Haru's house again. They did that often - one or the other would spend the night at each other's homes. I wasn't concerned.

I noted in the back of my mind that this was most likely not my bed as I flopped unattractively on the plush mattress. Mine was stiffer, as if it was still new and untouched. That was most likely the case before I came along. Makoto's bed was comfy and smelt of his body wash. My eyelids fell shut, and I let my body relax. Sleep purred longingly at me, and I indulged in it's sweetness.

Makoto arrived home with a heavy sigh. A whisper of a smile gracing his lips as he toed off his shoes. "I'm home!" He called. When no answer greeted him, he assumed they were all asleep, and Mamoru wouldn't answer anyhow. He entered the kitchen, fetching a glass of milk. He tilted the cup to his lips, downing it in three thick gulps. He exhaled a breath, his shoulders slumping. He smiled to himself, quickly washing the glass, humming an unfamiliar tune. Drying the cup and placing it back to it's place behind the cupboard, he decided he might as well turn in - and if he couldn't sleep, then maybe some video games? Then again, it wasn't as fun if he were to play by himself. Would Mamoru play with him? It wouldn't hurt to ask.

With that thought in mind, he ventured through his house, maneuvering through the hallways and reaching the closed door of his cousin's. He knocked twice, waiting for a moment. No answer. He knocked again, this time more firmly. "Mamo-chan?" He tried. He twisted the knob open, pushing his way through. "..Mamoru?"

Panic, worry, and confusion filled him all at once. No one was there. The bed was empty. Frantic, he checked the living room, then the bathroom. Gnawing on his lower lip, he burst into his own room, his chest heaving up and down in distraught. All the additional anxiety melted when he saw a sprawled Mamoru in the middle of his bed. He blinked once, twice, then, a heavy sigh of relief. For a moment he almost thought she was doing who knows what with that Takashi girl again. She had to consider her own health, and the older Tachibana was afraid she might dismiss it completely. He had no idea what went on in her head, and that was scarier than any horror movie he had ever seen.

He quietly neared the sleeping girl. He blinked when he saw sweat coat her forehead, finally noticing the incessant mumbling under her breath. "Mamo-chan?" He breathed out in confusion. He sat down at the edge of the bed, a hand placed on her shoulder and shaking her awake. Small fists gripped the sheets, and Mamoru stirred, her legs trembling as she tossed her head occasionally. Tears rolled from behind twitching eyelids, hugging the sides of her face. Finally, a choke sob. "Mom!" Eyes snapped open, a hand shout out to grasp what was a figment of her lucid nightmare.

"Mamoru!" Called Makoto. Diluted pupils focused on the face hovering over her own. Her nose scrunched up and she let out a tearful whine. Impulsively, she buried her face into her cousin's neck. Heavy breathing, strangled whimpers and wetness crammed against his neck, dampening his skin in a sticky mess. Arms closed around her, a large hand rubbing her back gently. "Shh." He repeated in an attempt to sedate her heightening distress. "Shh.." He rocked her from side-to-side, and finally, she calmed. Almost like a baby, he refrained from commenting.

She sniffled a few more times, and then,

"S-sorry.."

Something clenched in his chest, a sharp emotion jabbing his heart. "..Mamoru.." He could only utter. He stroked her hair. "Talk to me." She was quiet for the longest time, it was really quite deafening. He sighed, a bit in frustration, a bit in worry.

"I-.." She croaked. She cleared up her throat, raspy from all the suppressed crying. "...M-Makoto..?"

"Hm?"

"W-were we close?"

It took a moment for him to realize what she was talking about. "Yes. Very much." He let out a chuckle to lighten up the situation.

She pulled away from the nape of his neck, peering up at him. Her face was red and bloated. She wiped her nose with the back of her hand, and tried to blink away any additional wetness, but to no avail. A few tears brimmed before rolling down from red, glazed eyes. Makoto frowned and captured the rest with the heel of his palm, wiping her face. She sniffled again. "You.. you won't.. l-leave me, right..?" It was selfish of her to ask, but seeing her trembling in nervousness, her eyes averted to hide her shame, he realized she was letting him see apart of her that was locked away from prying eyes. A vulnerable, scared side. How could he refuse her?

"Was that what you were worried about?" He asked gently, his voice a soothing hum.

A snivel, a gulp, a hesitant nod. Makoto smiled softly, and he kissed her temple. "Never."

So I utterly failed.

Failed.

Failed.

...FAILED.

-I told myself! I vowed to myself!- Okay I wouldn't go as far as say vowed, but- you get my point, right? It was implied! Something I wasn't supposed to do! I wasn't supposed to get attached. But I did. And theoretically speaking, it sucks. Generally, I was a selfish person. Caring for another individual was set up for failure. Fortunately, it's just Makoto. Someone whose in my family, therefore, I'm stuck with him either way. But I'm telling you-

I AM TELLING YOU -and myself- THAT I WILL NOT -I repeat- NOT GET ATTACHED TO ANYONE ELSE!

I felt something against my the corner of my mouth. A thumb brushed away two grains of rice from my face, and I flinched at the sudden contact. I glanced to see the perpetrator to my left. Haru fixated me with a blank stare before bringing the thumb between the seam of his lips, the rice disappearing. I blinked a few times, trying to regather my thoughts. Oh yeah!

I WILL NOT-

"Mamo-chan, do you want some of my omelette?" Makoto asked with a smile. I blinked again.

"'Kay," I opened my mouth and he popped in the yellow, rolled up egg in my mouth between two chopsticks. I chewed a few times before gulping. My cousin waited patiently. "S'okay." I answered. He smiled brightly at me.

Ahem. As I was saying.

I WILL ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY NOT-

"Geez. Again?" Haru complained. One eye shut intuitively as I felt a napkin wipe my mouth clean. Makoto chuckled and I grumbled something incoherent.

"Mamo-chan's a messy eater!" Nagisa teased.

"Not beautiful at all." Rei added, shaking his head in a playfully disappointed manner.

I scowled at all of them. "Shut up!"

Uhm -what was I saying again?

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