As a quick excuse for not updating: My email decided that Fanfiction was spam so I was convinced that no one reads my stuff anymore. So I decided it wasn't a priority to write. But I was proven wrong. Very wrong.

So thank you all for the very much appreciated reviews! They give me a purpose to live. (Is it embarrassing to admit that I get fantastically excited whenever I see a bunch of emails coming in from Fanfiction? It's like my favorite source of spam.)

Also, happy finally-got-to-50K-words chapter! I don't know why that number is a marker in my head, but yay for whatever reason! Cheers—drinks all around!

Chapter Fourteen:

schrödinger's cat

Sai drove well above speed limits through the neighborhood before stopping at an apartment building. The three of them crossed through the lobby—given strange looks from the doorman—under Sai's guidance and made their way to the stairs.

"Where are we? What's going on?" Sakura asked once the door to the stairwell closed. She could hear her nervous voice bounce off the cement walls of the empty stairwell.

"Geez, what floor are we taking this to?" Naruto groaned, placing his hands on his knees and looking up the center of the stairwell.

Sai chose to answer the second question. "Seventh."

Even Sakura couldn't help but mutter a complaint under her breath as well. Breathless, seven flights later, she asked her question once more.

"Anko's place. There's technology that can track calls at her place," Sai replied quickly. He hadn't seemed to have lost his breath, unlike the other two, which made Sakura question Naruto's military training.

Sai walked towards the door with 7R labeled over the top. He first turned the doorknob a couple times before knocking.

Wouldn't you normally knock before trying the doorknob?, Sakura thought to herself, amused.

When he didn't get any sort of response from inside, Sai pulled out two thin metal rods from under his shoe and picked the lock. Within a half minute, the door clicked and he kicked it open, letting the three of them in.

Within a second of them stepping through the doorway, a kitchen knife flew past Naruto, stabbing into the wood of the doorway behind him.

"Who's that?" the purple-haired agent demanded, narrowing her eyes at an astonished blond.

"What the hell?!" Naruto demanded, alarmed. He raised a tan hand to his left cheek and found a bleeding thin slit on his cheek.

"You're a new face," Anko said, cornering Naruto against the door, arms on either side of him. "Fresh blood." And to make her point even more clear, she licked the blood right off the knife she held dangerously in her right hand.

Naruto's face turned aghast.

Good lord, Sakura. What kind of friends do you have?, she could hear him asking her.

Sai looked bored, closing the door behind him and crossing his arms. "That's Naruto, sweetheart," Sai introduced. "You remember Sakura, right?"

Anko flipped her knife back into her back pocket, placing her hands on her hips and swiveling on one foot to face Sakura. "Another mess involving you?"

Sakura gulped, placing her hands together sheepishly in front of her. "Y-yes?"

Why was this woman so terrifying?

Anko sighed. "So what now, 305? Don't tell me this is yet another side case that you got pulled into. It's great that you're philanthropic and all but honestly, you don't have time to waste on other cases."

Sai was already logging onto a computer that was off to the side of the room, hunched over and typing furiously for a couple seconds before rejoining Anko's conversation. "This isn't going to take forever. I just need you to file a missing person alert for me and then track down the location of this cell phone—"

"Also, you haven't been keeping me updated on your case," Anko interrupted. "I've been covering your ass for the past couple weeks—even before this whole Sakura thing came up!" Sakura shied away from the point Anko made behind her. "I'm not your only supervisor—I'm being supervised myself and if they figure out that I'm just giving empty updates and not actually in charge of your actions, then what kind of a commander does that make me?"

He looked back to the computer screen. "Sorry."

"That wasn't even sincere."

"Well shit!" Sai's right fingers hit the edge of the table before he whirled around to face Anko. "It's not my problem that this assignment is so fucking large. It's not like this case is actually a single straightforward case!" He saw Sakura and Naruto flinch and brought his voice down, changing the subject as well.

Up until now, Sakura had never seen Sai lose his cool.

Up until now, she didn't even think he could lose it.

"They're using Haruno as a way to get to me," Sai said. "And I know that and I won't be pushed over like that." He turned back towards the screen. "It's my fault for going out of my way for saving Haruno because now they're just going to keep using that as a blackmail against me."

Sakura noticed Naruto look over at her to check her reaction, see if there was any guilt, but Sakura didn't let anything show on her face.

"Delete this number from your phone."

Why hadn't she just done what Sasuke had told her from the beginning?

"Now Akatsuki has one of Haruno's friends under the knife," Sai continued. "They want information on Orochimaru and haven't been able to pick up any leads from Sasuke. But they know that I've been keeping tabs on Sasuke, and they want to trade her life for information on Orochimaru."

"Enemy of an enemy is my friend?" Anko asked quietly, her first words after Sai's outburst.

"Right, but with payment," Sai agreed, pressing the 'Enter' button on the keyboard. "I just filed a missing person report."

"So it's public."

"Yeah, I don't know what kind of a story I'm going to make up this time," Sai said, glancing over at Naruto—who was dead—and Sakura—who was eloping with his non-agent self.

"I'll deal with the paperwork," Anko sighed, to which Sai gave a curt smile in response. Her expression changed slightly, hardening before she reminded, "I still don't understand why we have to involve ourselves in this matter. We don't gain anything out of this and we honestly don't have anything to do with this. We could just—"

Sai cut her off. "I know." He looked over at the two of them before asking Anko, "Could we talk about this in another room?"

His supervisor avoided gazing over at Naruto and Sakura, instead keeping her eyes trained on Sai and agreeing.

"Sorry," Sai apologized to Naruto and Sakura, motioning for them to sit down on the couch off to the side. "Give us a moment?"

Sakura just nodded, but as soon as the two agents closed the door to their conversation, she turned back to Naruto, worried. Naruto examined Sakura for a moment before assuring her.

"I'm sure they'll do the trade for Ayame," he said. "Even if it has nothing to do with them at all. I know it."

"Yeah," she said.

"Sai's more for the people than for the organization," Naruto continued. "Sorta reminds me of someone that I used to know in the army."

"Yeah."

"I'm sure that he'll provide a good reason and a good justification for the trade."

"Yeah." But then Sakura shook her head vigorously. "That's exactly what they're taking advantage of though. They're taking advantage of his…" She trailed off, unable to find the word.

They're taking advantage of his…softness? No, that can't be right. His…

Naruto patted her shoulder, bringing Sakura in for a quick squeeze. "It's okay. I know I had doubts about this kid before, but I really think that he'll be able to pull whatever off." He propped Sakura back straight on the couch, watching her forlorn face. "Sacrifices always have to be made. This is one that he thinks necessary."

Sakura sighed, pushing away Naruto's comfort.

Sai and Anko emerged from the room right afterward. Sakura looked at Sai's face for any hint of what kind of a discussion or argument occurred, but Sai was focused on the task at hand.

"I need to track this call," he said, giving her a slight smile. "Sakura, your phone?"

The pinkette unrooted herself from her seated position and slowly pulled out her phone. Never did she think that her pink worn-out and rubbed-off-the-edges cell phone would cause her this many problems in life. It was always about not driving while texting, not texting in class, having her phone on silent during tests…

Even all those PA messages, didn't quite cover the whole blackmailing thing.

"They're expecting you to call back?"

Sai nodded, typing a couple last things on the computer. "Do this while I concentrate on the call?" While Anko flipped positions with him, he pressed Sakura's phone to the side of his face and then waited, a mildly uncomfortable look on his face.

He doesn't always like what he has to do, does he?, Sakura thought. He wasn't always confident in the decisions he was making, was he? And then the realization came: I'm probably relying too much on him, aren't I? Making my problems his…and making him sacrifice his organization…

The two agents transferred the call to the computer, and Sakura couldn't help but hold her breath when the ring tone stopped sounding.

"It's a deal," Sai said into the microphone.

A long silence followed after, before a voice croaked, "Perfect." The voice showed up in green waves on the computer screen in front of them. Anko was working furiously on another computer nearby, and Sai looked over her shoulder to see what progress was being made on tracking the location of the cell phone.

"One condition," Sai said quickly. "She is returned to me. Unharmed. Alive."

"How can I trust that you'll be giving me accurate information? That you're not just going to make a dummy set of investigations?"

Sai paused. "You'll just have to trust me on that."

"Then you'll just have to trust that we treat your friend well."

Even the silence that the four of them in the room were keeping grew even more to a dead-standing.

"Think of it as a sort of…truce," continued the smooth voice over the phone. "An agreement, a partnership that will benefit us both."

Sai looked over to Anko, who shook her head, her teeth grit.

"Where am I meeting you?"

"Oh I think you have the capable technology to find that out." And then the connection broke.

Anko cursed. "They knew we were tracking them through the call," she said. "And they only let me through after that last sentence."

"No matter," Sai said, throwing Sakura her phone back and looking at Anko's computer for the coordinates. "Let's go."

back on the pedal

Seven flights back down and into Sai's non-suspicious car, the three of them were not in the best of moods for another adventure. Sai activated the screen fixed on a panel on the dashboard, setting the GPS to the location coordinates that he had obtained from Anko earlier. This screen seemed to connect to Sai's ANBU database as well, since Sai was able to open up a menu of options after a fingerprint swipe.

"Did you have to do this same thing in order to locate me?" Sakura asked suddenly.

After a moment of scrolling up and down on the screen, Sai answered curtly. "Yes."

She looked down at her hands.

"You know, Anko's right," the agent admitted. "It's not related to my case directly and it's safer that I not get into it, but to be honest, I've already worked so hard for your safety—for your friends'—that I don't see another choice."

Sakura couldn't help but feel as though he were loathing her, blaming her for the turns that he had to make in his investigations.

"What'd you tell her?" Naruto asked. "I mean, to convince that crazy knife lady upstairs."

"I'm going to use this as an opportunity to get to know the Akatsuki better," Sai said, and neither Sakura nor Naruto was sure if that was an answer. "The last bit of information we have on them was the last time when we raided them. Remember, Sakura?"

She nodded, finding herself unable to bring her eyes up to his.

"We got the locations of the nine jinchuuriki that they're keeping their eyes on," Sai reminded her. "That's bigger than whatever information we'd have to give up. We can overtake the jinchuuriki if need be, when it's our time to blackmail them."

Sai withdrew a small memory stick from his back pocket, presenting it to Sakura. "And besides, the information on Orochimaru that we're giving them is old stuff. Outdated, probably irrelevant by now. We're not losing very much by giving them this." He tossed it onto her lap.

She held it up with one hand, examining its silver polish.

"Keep it," he said. "I trust you with it."

Sakura didn't say anything, but clenched her hand tightly. "This isn't even your case," she blurted.

"Well…" Sai said, turning the engine on. "I just made it mine."

later

"So I stay here and make sure nothing funky goes on out here?" Naruto asked again.

"Yes," Sai repeated.

Sakura sighed. "Come on, Naruto."

But Sakura knew she was just acting impatient, that she was trying to take as long as possible before entering the battle scene. All the action and guns and fighting were adrenaline-kicking at first—as well as frightening—but now she was just frightened and the violence didn't seem to have a purpose.

Especially when she knew where all the problems were coming from.

"At least leave me some weapons!" the blond insisted, and Sai pointed Naruto to the trunk in response.

"Come on, let's go," Sai told Sakura. "Just follow me. You'll be okay. Leave the weapons down. Don't worry—they shouldn't be playing dirty."

Sakura nodded, tucking her handgun into the back of jeans. The cold metal brushed against the skin at the small of her back and she shivered quietly. She pressed her hand against her right pocket, making sure that the memory stick was still secure in there.

The two of them walked, without weapons in their hands, into a narrow alleyway off the corner of the street where they had parked. Sai kept a rather slow pace, but Sakura found herself unable to keep up without tripping in nervousness. He kept his eyes trained on his phone, which had some form of a GPS program active.

The alleyway was dark except for a series of lights that led up to a rusted iron door to the side of the brick building on their right. A small block of something was on the ground directly in front of the door, which after a couple of steps more, Sakura recognized as Ayame's phone. Sai stopped three steps before the phone and shifted his weight backwards, relaxing.

"Yo," he announced loudly, waiting. "Where is she?"

The rusted iron door to the right of them swung open, creaking loudly. Ayame—blindfolded, gasping and crying—was restrained by two cloaked men. They took her over to the side, slamming her face against the wall.

"Ayame!" Sakura yelled, propelling forward. Sai stopped Sakura from running out, and the two of them watched another Akatsuki member come out from the doorway.

This Akatsuki member she recognized. This Akatsuki member she particularly hated.

"Hidan," Sakura snarled under her breath. He better not have done anything to Ayame. Otherwise she was going to whip out the gun from behind her pants and shoot at him herself.

"Ah, you still remember my name." The white-haired man smirked. "I'm honored." Hidan looked over at Sakura's arms, which were tucked behind her. "Hey, look, the bitch is fine, right? She's just a bit tied up. You can put down the weapons."

"Hand her over," Sai interrupted.

Hidan put out his hand, palm up, gesturing. "First, the info."

The ANBU agent reached into his back pocket and pulled out a memory stick that looked exactly like the one that Sakura had. A decoy?

Sai held it out in front of them. The coating made it glint in the light, but not even the silver was shinier than the smirk that crept up on all three Akatsuki faces.

"We'll take that then, and you too."

Sakura didn't even have a chance to react—

A gunshot from above. Sai crumpled to the ground.

wtf

She did the first thing she could think of. Scream.

Sakura covered her mouth and felt herself hyperventilating through her hands.

No. Get your gun out!, she realized, and then reached behind her. She pointed the gun at Hidan, noticing her gun holding was very shaky. Ayame screamed in response to the gunshot and Sakura's scream, and the two men restraining her slammed her to the wall again. Sakura jerked her gun aim to the two men by instinct, but wavered back to point at Hidan.

Hidan was calm and composed. "Oh, don't worry about him, he isn't dead, just paralyzed." The Akatsuki member motioned for one of the two Akatsukis holding Ayame down to fetch the unconscious ANBU.

"Don't touch him!" she yelled, and then shot at the ground where the Akatsuki was walking.

"Hey, hey, hey…" Hidan cooed. "You almost shot your comrade."

A million things were going through her mind. Sai was down. Ayame was still in capture. She was alone. She had the real memory stick. There were three Akatsukis against her. She had one gun. The gun had five bullets left. She was panicking. She was shaky already and she didn't have good aim to begin with. Fuck. Shit. Crap.

She shot again, but this time at Hidan, who quickly ducked down to avoid the shot and pick up the memory stick that had fallen to the ground.

"This isn't the real one, is it?" the Akatsuki member mused. "If the ANBU is anything like we are, then you don't play that easy."

Sakura was scared her heavy breathing would give her away—the bump under her right pocket seemed infinitesimally larger.

"Where is the real one?" he asked.

Sakura first shook her head. "I don't know."

"Ah, so you've acknowledged that there is one."

A cold chill ran down her spine. They knew. She shook her head again, trying to think of a better thing to say. "I don't know," she continued to shake her head, looking down, but she reminded herself that she had a gun and looked up again to shoot.

To her dismay, two guns were already out on their side. One to Sai's head, the other to Ayame's head.

Sakura could see the tears soaking through the dirty white blindfold that was wrapped around Ayame's eyes. She could see Sai's fingers flexing, his struggling to get up.

"I know you have it, Haruno."

She shook her head, finding herself tearing up. She cursed herself for an awful time to have nothing in her head—no solutions—just fear, dread, despondence.

"If you hand it over, I'll leave Sai alone."

"What about Ayame?" she blurted, her voice distorted through tears.

Hidan shrugged, looking over at the woman. "Punishment for trying to trick us in the first place?"

"Both. I want—"

"Great, so you know where the memory stick is."

Sakura stuttered. "Both. Both back."

"One. Choose one," Hidan mocked, imitating her.

She recaught her breath, remembering what Sai had told her. A small wave of confidence ran through her. "It's all old information. It's not even good stuff. Whatever you're doing is for nothing. You might as well give them both back. All this trouble isn't worth it."

"Oh…so, this memory stick isn't worth either of them? Should I just ask for you to give me the information and be on your merry way?"

Her mind went dark and cold. "No," she instinctively said.

"Great," Hidan said, smiling wider. "Now hand the information over." He reached his hand out again, the same way he had with Sai earlier.

They're going to make me choose, she suddenly thought. They're going to make me choose between Sai and Ayame.

"So hand it over and pick one," he continued. "Hey, I'll get one of us to carry them back to your car, just as tip for a job well done."

The hatred and despise that coursed through her veins for Hidan was quickly quenched by despair.

And what could she do? Releasing Sai would betray her friend. Releasing Ayame would betray Sai. Releasing Sai would bring a civilian back to safety and Sai would probably take his imprisonment better as a trained ANBU agent. Releasing Ayame would bring Sai back to get another chance to breaking her out and not risk the ANBU, as an organization, being in danger. Ayame—lifelong friend, coworker, Konoha, being young and in college. Sai—it was barely a month since she knew him but he was all she had for the past several days.

She put one hand down from her gun. Her hand quavered until she reached into her right pocket. She produced the memory stick from her pocket, holding it out in a shaky hand.

"Sai," she whispered, in a cracked voice. "I'm sorry, Ayame," she added, but her voice didn't even give.

Hidan quickly snatched the information with a snarky 'thank you.' One of the other Akatsukis kick-rolled Sai's body to her side. She saw Sai's eyes roll up to her, and his arm slowly pushing off the ground.

"Hey Kakuzu, help her get her friend back to wherever she needs him to be," Hidan commanded, before looking back at Sakura. "At least I keep my word."

"Keep your mouth shut," the white-hooded and black-masked man snapped back at Hidan, before turning strangely green eyes to Sakura. His stare made her look away, and she felt the air whoosh to the side of her as he stiffly threw Sai over his back.

They were mocking her. They were mocking her for being weak. So weak that the enemy pitied and helped her.

"Hey, hey! That's not fair at all!"

Everyone froze. Sakura was so stunned.

Naruto!? She wasn't sure how to classify the overwhelming rush of sentiments that waved through her. Happiness. Safe. Secure. Hope.

In fact, so hopeful, it warded away any instantaneous doubt that the two of them—no, all four of them—would get out of this alive.

"Who the hell are you?" Hidan barked.

"Just some idiot saving the lives of my friends," Naruto replied, with a couple gun clicks.

"Then you're good as dead."

"Too bad I already am."

Just for everyone's reference, Schrödinger's cat is both dead and alive. (Forgive the slack semantics in that statement.) Like Naruto. Hence the title of the chapter.

And our lucky attendants that get free tickets to Sai and Sakura's wedding: nagiko/nympheon and mun3litKnight. Thank you for the consistent reviews and for your input on Chapter 13!

And to my guest readers: Wowsers—I'm glad you enjoyed the penis joke; and I actually liked your duck/elephant metaphor. And well, in terms of Sai valuing Sakura…this is a SaiSak...so you're probs right on that one!—Guest1—Yeah! Enjoy chapters while they're hot and ready—Guest2—Ino's a great character to over-react. Thank you all!

Please do leave a review! (Else I'll let Gai and Lee know you really wanted a green fighting suit.)

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