Disclaimer: Sweet, sweet Hetalia is not mine.

Christmas Special!

Christmas in the Jones-Kirkland house was always a scattered occasion. The family practiced all and no religion at the same time making them even more confused on whether or not they should bring the menorah or evergreen out. Wish a happy Winter Solstice to each other and or complain about the fact that everyone was wishing them a happy holiday when they were Atheists.

Then there was the question of buying presents. Buying a present for one person was hard enough but buying a present for fifty-three people and the pet/nanny alien? It was a miracle no had committed suicide yet.

Tony had tried to commit suicide but Iowa always found him and encouraged him to "The light in things." Tony flipped her off.

Some years the holidays were a disaster already happening and other times it was picture perfect and they sent Christmas cards to all the nations. It was usually the first and maybe once every three years the latter.

"You need to relax!" Alfred said as Arthur muttered and smoked while typing furiously on the computer. They were in Arthur's study, the number one place when you're trying to get away from your army of children, relaxing. Alfred was relaxing, Arthur was having an ulcer.

"How can I fucking relax on bloody Christmas when I didn't even send a Christmas card to the Queen!" Arthur banged on the computer. "By drinking some hot chocolate with me!" Alfred said it so innocently and pure that it made Arthur feel like a pedophile. Just like Francis.

"Yes, because that always works. Our children are downstairs causing havoc and Tony is at some Chinese place eating dumplings because he's Jewish. And you're here drinking hot chocolate and wearing that ridiculous sweater acting like everything is just peachy." Arthur jabbed in his finger into Alfred's chest.

"The sweater is not ridiculous." Alfred pouted. The sweater wasn't ridiculous. It was Christmas red and had a reindeer on it. The reindeer's nose was a red cotton ball that was 3-D and cute. Alfred had wanted to wear his Santa suit but the children hid it. When he asked where they hid, Owen had said nothing and the smell of something burning wafted through the air.

"It doesn't matter. I just finished sending an e-mail to the Queen explaining carefully why she received no Christmas card of her greatest employee." "Greatest employee? Arthur, honey, for a good five years you were an anarchist and TP the Buckingham Palace."

"That was back in my pirate days!" "Arthur that was two years after your pirate days were over." "I liked you better before you could talk." "So, you were attracted to me when I was a baby. Do you realize how much you sound like France right now?"

"Why did I marry you? It's Christmas and you're insulting me." "You just insulted me!" Arthur rolled his eyes. If you want some advice from him, never have kids. They will mess up your uke's personality and hormone balance greatly.

The sound of Wyoming knocking interrupted their little "punch-punch, kiss -kiss" time. "We're ready to celebrate Christmas if you want to come down." she said tiredly. Christmas planing really had worn her out. It sucked that she and her siblings were hellbent on making their dads enjoy the holiday season.

"We'll be right down," Alfred nodded "I have a question though. What on Earth are you wearing?" Wyoming blushed furiously at the question.

"The stupid shirt you gave all of us to wear because you wanted us to match." Wyoming was wearing the same shirt Alfred and beguilingly Arthur was wearing. "Why?" Arthur may not seem to care about his children too much, but he did care when it came down to Alfred's influence on them.

"We, me and the rest of the kids you lovingly chose to have went to get our pictures done. We're really sorry you guys weren't in them but we wanted them as a surprise. We even sent one to the Queen."

Alfred had tears in his eyes. Arthur looked like he was either going to kill Alfred for influencing their kids or that he ,Arthur, the cold sarcastic British ex-pirate might start crying.

"I'll be downstairs." Wyoming led the scene as soon as she could. Her parents were starting to scare her. Again.

Alfred and Arthur went downstairs to the living room that had been decorated for Christmas. Fifty-four stockings had been hung on the fireplace. "I think Tony should get one even though he isn't going to be with us." New Mexico said as he finished hanging up Tony's stocking. "I think so too." Alfred smiled.

Christmas would never met the requirements of normality, just like the family.

Author's Note: Merry Christmas' Eve everyone. I personally don't celebrate Christmas but since it's America's major holiday I thought I would do a special for it.

I wish you all a happy holiday and season no matter what religion your a part of or not.