The Notebook: Inside and Out
A/N: We find out about the Kantou Region Uke Cult in this chapter! (Or not.) Uh… we're together, Scarlet's at my house for Thanksgiving, so this is pretty awesome and special and whatnot. We've both recently gotten into Axis Powers Hetalia, which everyone should watch because it's spectacular. And… that's pretty much it. We'll restate that the last chapter of the Notebook will be out on March 20, 2010. We're really sad that we finished writing it. Keep looking for the Off the Spirals, we've already started posting them.
Disclaimer: It'd be awesome if we owned it, but unfortunately, we don't.
Warnings: Truth or Dare and all the dirtiness that comes with it, fishnets and leather, Fuji and Eiji knowing way too much about Sailor Moon for boys their age, and Yukimura making a guest appearance, which personally we think deserves a warning. And that's all. Again, no random sex. (God, what's wrong with us?)
--
Kaidoh hissed and hid his face in Inui's shoulder.
"Once," Inui started, "after Kaidoh sampled a juice of mine that originally seemed to have no adverse effects, we were... participating in..." He coughed. "Certain activities, and after... culmination... we realized that the juice had made Kaidoh's semen glow in the dark. Temporarily, of course."
There was a prolonged moment of silence that Kaidoh thought would never end. Then Momo barked a laugh, and the others followed suit. Even Tezuka was struggling to keep his emotionless façade, Kaidoh realized, his face burning. God, this was humiliating. Stupid Inui-sempai.
"Tezuka-buchou, which do you and Oishi-sempai choose?"
"I think we trust you to come up with an acceptable dare, Kaidoh." Tezuka glanced to Oishi for affirmation. He nodded with a slight smile.
"Trade clothing." The dare was short, seemingly simple, and quite acceptable—"Without using your hands." Or not.
"You can't be serious—" Oishi started.
"Quite." Inui's notebook appeared, seemingly from nothing.
"What about buttons?"
"Hands would be acceptable for buttons…?" Kaidoh nodded in agreement to Inui's words.
Tezuka looked for a moment like he wanted to pout. "May I keep my glasses?"
"Will you be able to tell us apart without them?" Inui grinned, such an opportunity to collect Tezuka's data was rare.
"...No. And Oishi's eyes would probably start to hurt."
"Fine, fine, keep them, then."
"Um... guys? Exactly how much clothing are we switching here?" Taka-san asked uneasily.
"All of it," Inui answered casually.
"Underwear too?"
"Why not?"
"Because... I don't know... I mean, I've never seen either Buchou or Oishi in anything less than their boxers, and I don't really want to. Shirts and pants and everything is fine, but... I rule that total nudity is inappropriate."
"And I was really looking forward to it," Fuji muttered. "Taka-san has a point, though. I guess not all of us are comfortable with public nudity."
"You do lots of stuff you're not comfortable with in Truth or Dare," Eiji countered. "That's the whole point."
"Do you want to strip down in front of everyone, Eiji?"
"Not particularly."
"Well," Tezuka cut in, "last time we played, I had to run around the cabin with no clothes on. In the rain."
"I suppose we should.... then," Oishi mumbled.
--
Roughly ten minutes of tripping, laughter, and glaring later Oishi and Tezuka were in each other's clothes. Purple was not Oishi's color, and the shirt Tezuka wore declaring "I'm half a doubles team" was a bit flamboyant in his opinion.
Eiji snickered, "So what's Tezuka and my pair name? We can't be the Golden Pair."
"Hm, that's a good question, Eiji...." Fuji cocked his head.
Tezuka glared. "Do we have to stay like this?"
"Of course, Mitsu."
"Truth or dare, Delusional Pair?" Tezuka griped at the more rambunctious half of the fearsome foursome.
"I take offence to that, Mitsu. If you must call us something along those lines, we're the Dream Pair." Fuji sniffed haughtily.
"Dare!" The red head was smiling at their antics.
"Muffin Pair."
"Huh?" The rest of the team looked at Ryoma.
"Kikumaru-sempai and Buchou are the Muffin Pair."
"Oi! Ochibi! Are you calling us fat!?"
"No," Ryoma said, going back to sipping his Ponta. As the other eight stared at him, he sighed and continued, "Eiji-sempai is sugary like a cupcake, but Buchou's got the personality of burnt toast. And muffins are like cupcakes only more bread-y. So, Muffin Pair."
Ryoma glanced at Tezuka, who looked like he was trying to shoot lazer beams out of his eyes at the freshman. "Uh. I mean. Buchou's--very--he's..." He sighed in resignation. "How many laps?"
"Fifty. Wait until after the game."
"Yes, Buchou."
"Do the motions and words to the Sailor Moon transformation." Oishi directed the attention back to the other group of third years tactfully.
"I wanna be Usagi this time, Fujiko!" Eiji hopped up quickly.
"All right then..." Fuji stood up and brushed off his pants as if they were dusty.
"Which one?"
"The one with Usagi and Rini!" Momo requested, earning him strange looks. "I have a little sister!"
"Sure, Momo-sempai..."
"Moon! Crisis! Make up!" Fuji and Eiji shouted together, flinging their arms straight to the sides. They turned to the side and flung their arms and heads back. They moved into a spin, arms now above their heads, and then twirled about each other, arms returning to their sides. The two boys leaned backwards, each on one leg, before erecting themselves again. Eiji enclosed Fuji in his arms in an embrace. Fuji drew back and moved forward to twirl in a small circle, back to where they had embraced, Eiji mirroring his moments behind on the other side. In tandem they bent forward, snapped up, and struck the classic Sailor Moon pose. "In the name of the moon we shall punish you!" They panted slightly, but all the same grinned madly in their silliness.
"Inui and Kaidoh, truth or dare?" Fuji asked.
"Dare, I suppose." Inui pushed his glasses higher on his nose.
Kaidoh internally groaned. He just knew it was going to be something sexual. He just knew it.
"We dare you to take off Kaidoh's shirt and lick his tan lines."
Light flashed in Inui's glasses. "Gladly." Before Kaidoh could react he was in Inui's lap and his shirt was on the floor beside them. Kaidoh squirmed as Inui's tongue trailed across his shoulder and tried to think about as many disgusting things as possible because really, how embarrassing would it be to get an erection in front of the entire team?
Something large and hard poked him in the ass, and he realized with annoyance that Inui certainly wasn't trying to keep himself... calm. "Inui-sempai," he hissed, "this is humiliating."
"That's the point of Truth or Dare, Kaidoh," Inui murmured in reply. "Just enjoy yourself."
I'd rather drink Penal Tea, Kaidoh thought, gritting his teeth. When Inui was done, he climbed off the data player's lap and flushed upon seeing the very noticeable bulge in Inui's pants.
"Fuji and Kikumaru, truth or dare."
"Truth," Fuji and Eiji said unexpectedly.
"What's the strangest thing you've ever put in your body?"
Eiji looked thoughtful, but Fuji promptly answered, "Wasabi."
" I didn't mean in your mouth, Fuji."
"I know."
Eiji cringed. "Didn't that burn?"
"Oh, I found it quite pleasurable."
"Kikumaru?" Inui urged.
"I'm thinkin'!" He scratched his head. "Oh! I know! A chopstick!"
Fuji promptly giggled.
"Why did you put a chopstick up your--" Inui was cut off.
"He wasn't talking about his ass, Inui...."
"I see... Note, Kikumaru has experimented with sounding. Interesting."
"Our turn again, nya!"
"Momo, Echizen, truth or dare?"
"Truth," Ryoma answered before Momo got a chance to say dare. He was not becoming their victim like Kaidoh had moments ago.
"If you were straight, who would you date?" Eiji asked.
Fuji followed, "Sakuno-chan, Tomoka-chan, or An-chan."
Taka-san frowned at the last name, but remembered that it was a game, and they were both gay, so it didn't really matter.
"Probably An-chan. She's the most fun of the three." Momo grimaced a little, wondering what Ryoma would say.
"Tomoka."
"WHAT!?" Momo shouted.
"No way! You can 't stand her!" Eiji looked at the freshman incredulously.
"But if I dated her I would never have to do anything. She already does anything I ask her to..." Ryoma shrugged. "I would just need ear plugs. Buchou, Oishi-sempai, truth or dare."
"Dare," they responded together.
"Since you don't like wearing each other's clothes, Fuji-sempai and Kikumaru-sempai get to dress you up in something from Fuji-sempai's suitcase." He folded his arms behind his head, feeling extremely smug.
"Oh! I've wanted to get you to wear the cowboy outfit for ages, Mitsu!" Fuji grabbed Tezuka' s arm and bodily dragged him up the stairs. Eiji shoved Oishi along behind.
" Fuji," Tezuka said, "pick the least ostentatious thing in your wardrobe or I'll give you laps."
"You are no fun at all, Mitsu. Besides, I can pick whatever I want, and you can 't penalize me, it's a game."
Tezuka frowned deeply. How had he ended up with a boyfriend who liked to torture him so much?
"Not this one..." Fuji was saying to Eiji as he rifled through his suitcase. "This is a problem. Tezuka and Oishi just can't pull most of these off. They aren't femme at all."
"How about the ones you bought to go with the girly ones?"
"I didn't bring any..." Fuji pursed his lips thoughtfully. "Ah! I know! Oishi can wear... that."
Eiji's eyes widened. " Fuji! Are you sure?"
"Yes. Yes, I'm sure." Fuji 's smile turned sadistic.
Ten minutes later, Tezuka was glaring at the fishnet stockings Fuji had insisted wear and pulling the skirt down, trying to cover as much as he could. The cowboy hat perched on his head kept slipping off. He was
trying hard not to look in the mirror--once had been enough. Fuji was right--he was not femme at all, and he looked ridiculous.
"Eiji! Eiji, please, no, anything but this, please, it's--"
"Nya, I'm sorry, Oishi, but this is what Fuji wanted!"
Tezuka forced himself to look up and cringed at what Oishi was being forced into: a red bra with black polka dots, matching knee-high socks, an extremely short black skirt, and wings strapped to his back. And--oh
God, was that a garter ? Tezuka shuddered.
" Fuji, where did this come from?"
"I picked it up the other day when we went shopping. I wanted to surprise you with it, but this is more fun, don't you think?" Fuji smiled at Oishi, who looked completely mortified.
--
Ryoma smirked as the boys came downstairs. "That is for the kitty costume, Buchou." "That was harsh of you to punish Oishi-sempai for it too." Momo ruffled the freshman's hair. This went on for a while with more hilarity ensuing, when Fuji stopped the game. "We should get ready for bed… It's getting late, and, because of what happened earlier today, we ukes are having a slumber party!" Fuji smiled and darted up the stairs. The other three only took a minute to look at each other before following his example and running after the tensai.
Tezuka put his face in his hands. He should have known.
A door slammed upstairs.
--
Fuji giggled. Of course they weren't really going to sleep. He needed an excuse to get away from the semes so they could leave for the induction, slipping out while in bed with their semes would be rather hard after all.
"I wish I'd known this was going to happen," the tensai murmured, looking through his suitcase. "I could've brought proper induction outfits. As it is, everything I brought with me is utterly boring."
"...I don't know what your definition of boring is, Fuji-sempai--" Kaidoh said.
"Oh, I didn't mean those. You can't possibly wear anything I've brought, not even Mr. President can supply that many tissues..." Fuji pursed his lips. "You remember what you wore to your induction, don't you?"
"Unfortunately."
"I need something like that. Something not too over the top. Hm... okay, for Eiji, how about this... and these pants... with this... And for Echizen--hm. Okay, yes, he can pull these off, and we're probably about the same size... and the fishnet, yes, that would look good with... this, yes, okay."
Kaidoh helped Fuji lay the outfits on the bed. "Fabulous," Fuji said happily. "What do you think, Eiji, Echizen?"
"I think that I'm not wearing leather," Ryoma said, frowning.
"But it will show off that lovely backside of yours, Echizen."
"And I'm not wearing fishnet anything."
"Don't be so stubborn, Echizen. Kaoru, Eiji, would you be so kind?" Fuji smiled all too innocently.
"Of course, Fuji-sempai." The other two each grabbed one of Ryoma's arms, allowing Fuji to strip and re-dress him.
"Oh! Gorgeous!" Fuji smoothed the collar of Ryoma's button-up shirt and rolled the sleeves up.
Ryoma was released and promptly buttoned the rest of the buttons on the pale blue button up shirt Fuji had stuffed him into.
Fuji swatted his hands away and undid the three buttons Ryoma had done. "Don't!"
"Why doesn't Kikumaru-sempai have to wear anything like this?"
Eiji, who was getting dressed, grinned at him. "None of the stuff Fujiko has like that would fit me. It's practically skin-tight on him, and I'm taller," he reasoned.
Fuji looked at the clock. They had a few minutes to go over what to expect before they had to sneak out the window and down the long driveway to the waiting car. He checked himself in the mirror one more time--at meetings such as this it was very important to look one's best--and opened the window.
"We're going to climb out," he explained.
"But we're on the second floor," Ryoma protested.
"I know that, Echizen, thank you. There's a lattice, so Eiji, you be careful in those boots. We play tennis and we're ukes, we're nimble, so don't give me that look, Echizen, you'll be fine. Kaidoh, you go first."
Kaidoh obliged, hoisting himself onto the window sill and crawling out, then dropping out of site. Eiji was next, and when it came to Ryoma's turn Fuji was worried he'd have to throw the freshman out the window .
"Shouldn't we at least tell Tezuka-buchou we're leaving?" Ryoma tried to protest.
Fuji locked the door and shoved a chair under the knob. "Satisfied."
"He'll think you were kidnapped or something... You should leave a note..." Ryoma tried to come up with something, anything to stall longer.
Fuji took a piece of paper from the house diary from the end table and scribbled something. "'Dear Tezuka, Oishi, Inui, Momo, and Taka-san,'" he paused to look up at Ryoma, "'we decided to take a little trip down to see the night life on the shopping strip. Don't come looking for us. I doubt you'd be able to find us anyway. Don't worry! I will take good care of them! Love Your Resident Tensai and Team Mommy, Fuji.' Now get your pretty little leather-clad ass out that window, Echizen Ryoma." He flung the piece of paper onto his pillow and slipped his cell phone into his back pocket.
Ryoma trudged over to the window. It was very dark, and he couldn't see the ground. His stomach started churning. "Fuji-sempai... I don't like heights..." He gulped.
"For Christ's sake, Echizen, you smash tennis balls from twenty fucking feet in the air, and you're afraid of heights!?" Fuji ran his hand through his hair, completely frustrated. "Okay, okay. We can work around this. Climb onto the lattice right outside the window and don't move."
Ryoma looked at his sempai before he did as asked.
"I'm going to climb behind you," Fuji explained gently.
Slowly Fuji moved his foot down, guiding Ryoma's into the hole in the lattice just above his. Then he repeated this with his hands. It took them ten minutes to get down the lattice. Fuji jumped down when he was still a few feet from the ground. Then, with the help of Kaidoh he eased Ryoma down the rest of the way.
"Ochibi's scared of heights?" Eiji asked. At Ryoma's blush he smiled. "That's so cute. Tezuka's scared of bugs, Kaidoh's scared of paranormal stuff, and you're scared of heights." He patted the dark hair.
"Lets go, inductees." Fuji waved them towards the path-turned-driveway down the mountain. "It's hard to walk in these stupid pants," Ryoma grumbled.
"Don't call them stupid, they were very expensive, and well-worth the price. Kunimitsu can't get enough of them. "
"Oh, really? I guess you wouldn't want them to get dirty or... rip?"
Fuji turned to Ryoma with a deadly glare. "I swear to God, Echizen, if anything happens to those pants, I will make you regret it, and I will make you pay for a new pair."
"Yes, Sempai."
When they got to the foot of the mountain, the car was already there waiting for them. Fuji got in front, and the others climbed in back. Yukimura turned to look at them, eyes narrowed. "You're late."
"Sorry, Sei-chan," Fuji said cheerfully. "Echizen had a bit of a mishap."
"Having a good vacation?"
"Oh, you know. The usual. Well, there was the foursome."
"Oooh! With whom?"
"Tezuka, obviously, and our Golden Pair, who, for their lack of experience, are quite fun playmates. And you, Sei-chan? "
"Nothing new. We've spent the majority of our vacation at Gen-chan's, and I swear this is the first time Akaya, Yagyuu, Marui, and I have had clothes on in weeks."
"Sounds fun. I wish I could get the others to participate in an orgy..."
"Orgy?" Ryoma said incredulously.
"I've told you a million times that Rikkai is much more adventurous than we are, Echizen," Fuji said.
"I'm happy with unadventurous, Fuji-sempai." Ryoma pulled at the leather. It was starting to stick to him.
"Quit it! You are going to ruin them!" Fuji turned around to scold Ryoma. "They are supposed to cling."
"But it's uncomfortable!" The freshman complained.
"Too damn bad! You will wear them. You will like it. And so help me God, Echizen, if you damage them in any manner..." Fuji let the threat hang in the air.
"Really, Echizen-kun, do you have any idea how long it takes to find a good pair of leather pants? Not to mention breaking them in..." Yukimura glanced at him in the rear-view mirror. "You should feel honored Syu-chan is letting you wear them." Yukimura nodded sagely.
Ryoma rolled his eyes. Where did the tennis circuit find people like this?
--
A/N: Who knows, Ryoma. Who knows.
By the way, if there are any words randomly missing or anything, it's because FFNet was being an asshat.