Chapter 14
Disclaimer: I don't really feel like saying it right now. Get back to me in a few hundred years. *unhappy sigh* All screw-ups are still mine, though. *pout*
Warning: dark memories, kiddie Kakashi and a treetop brooding. This chapter has more angst than previous ones, though fluffy bits still creeped in.
Rating: for this chapter: PG
Pairing: For the entire fic? - KakaIru and SasuNaru
Feedback: Any will be adored, printed out and drooled over. Flames will be used to fan the fires of my imagination to write more fics. What?! O_o I believe in using a person's weapon against them. *eg*
Author's Notes: Before I say anything, *throws herself to the floor* I'm sooooo sorry that this chapter took so long to post! I just didn't get the time to write! Please I don't want to be beaten to a pulp!
*Sasuke-plushie scowls* You're being pathetic.
*coughs* Well…let move on…. HUGE thanks to everyone who has read this story. I still can't believe that there are so many people that enjoy it! And super-thanks to the ninth power for everyone that reviews. Each and every single review is adored.
I also have another recommendation! *happy bounce* The fic is titled Compensate by Silver-blue Dolphin. I warn you though, its NOT a happy fic. Very dark and bloody so be prepared. And if its not your cup of tea just don't read it. No one's holding it against you, promise.
*beams* I'm gonna stop babbling now. I know I'm just getting in the way. So go on, read the ficcie. I know you want to.
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Upon entering the kitchen Kakashi could have smacked himself for being such an idiot. He was still having a hard time about accepting Iruka as a friend and now he wanted more?
The jounin growled at himself. The other man probably didn't even find other men attractive.
Also, part of him couldn't help but feel that such emotions for anyone, not just for the chunin, would be a betrayal of Obito's memory.
He felt like this because his best friend in the entire world had also been his first love. Kakashi lived with the aching regret that he never plucked up the courage to tell him that, to find out if there could have been more between them. Their relationship had been very close, usually so for two elite ninjas in the same team facing dangers every day. Most elite ninjas closed themselves off having seen too much death by the time they reached their high level rank. But they hadn't, at least not for each other.
The lack of closure in terms of his the depth of his feelings for his friend made the grief remain razor blade sharp even after so many years. It hadn't helped him that the part of him that felt responsible for the deaths of everyone he cared for was certain that it was his love for Obito that had lead to his death.
Lost in thought, Kakashi was vaguely aware of his actions as he searched the cupboards of his kitchen for instant coffee. He used to hate it before he learned that if kept better over long periods of time. His fingers found the red colored jar he pulled it out and set it on the counter. He automatically filled two large mugs with water from the tap.
The jounin bit back a swallow of guilt over his actions with Iruka. Maybe, becoming such quick friends with him would somehow show he no longer cared about Obito's memory and keeping his spirit alive.
The part of Kakashi's mind trained to react with cold logic knew that these thought processes didn't make sense but emotions often didn't react logically.
The strangling feelings of grief and ever-present guilt reclaimed their familiar hold on him. Crystal clear memories of that awful night, in the rain and the blood-soaked mud, resurfaced as they did and had for nearly every day since.
His skin trembled as he remembered the biting cold and his hands clenched as if holding knifes for a fight. That nightmare had begun with him finding a familiar dismembered hand, nearly hidden in the swirling muddy water. It hadn't been Obito's but it had been of a teammate. That find was only a slim warning to everything else he would find.
The 'S' class missing-nin they had been assigned to hunt had a sick penchant for mutilating his victims as much as he could while letting them live so he could enjoy their pain and fear as they descended into death.
They had been tracking him for days. What they hadn't known was that he had known they were following and deliberately led them into his lair which he controlled completely. It had been a trap. Sprung, quietly and suddenly like all good traps. One by one, the missing nin had captured the Anbu squad. The criminal had played vicious mind games, leaving bits and pieces for the remaining teammates to find. They had desperately tried to stop him. But the missing nin had been too good and couldn't be caught by every plan they thought up. His entire team vanished into his hands until only Obito and he were left.
The only reason that Obito had been the next one to get captured instead of him was because his best friend had insisted that he take point. Normally, that had been Kakashi's position, but Obito had argued that his Sharingan would serve them both better if he was the one looking for the traps. It hadn't helped.
Obito had been taken as silently as the rest. And he blamed himself for not watching his back like he promised.
Afterwards, it took him three days to track the missing nin down. Three days of finding freshly bleeding body parts in the pouring rain through thick mud. Three days in which he had only narrowly escaped the traps covered every inch of the land. It had been on the second day of those three days he had lost the eye. Exhaustion had made his reflexes too slow to complete evade a spinning blade but it could have been worse. It could have split him in half.
He had driven himself to the bone. Desperate hope that he would arrive in time to rescue Obito had forced him to move faster than he normally would have.
The cave where the missing nin had taken his teammates was deep and long. Only the nauseating scent of rotting flesh and old blood had helped him find the exact chamber from the plethora of similar caverns.
There was where he faced the missing nin and his gruesome gory work.
Kakashi gritted his teeth and forced himself to focus on the reality of his brightly lit kitchen. He hated to remember what happened after he got to the cave. Only, long practice on fighting of the memories, and the additional help of the newly acquired soothing relief from Iruka's words allowed him to succeed in forcing his thoughts away from that awful recollection.
The jounin shook his head and grimly finished making the coffee he promised.
Even with guilt of feeling like he was replacing Obito, Kakashi realized that he didn't want to give Iruka up. He genuinely liked the chunin, and there weren't many people that he could say about.
And he trusted him completely and the individuals that he could say that about were extremely rare.
It wasn't until Kakashi had the two mugs ready to drink that he realized that he had unintentionally broken his promise to Doctor Mesu. He swore and rushed back to the living room.
He had left Iruka alone. For far too long.
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After he had managed to convince himself that he had just imagined things, Iruka gazed around the Kakashi's living room with burning curiosity. It wasn't everyday that the got to visit the other man's home. He couldn't let this opportunity to learn more about the silver-haired man slip through his fingers. Who knew when he would get another such chance to explore?
The lechery part of his mind pointed out with a cheerful leer that the details of the apartment he picked up would be a great use in his Kakashi fantasies.
Iruka blinked at the image of Kakashi and himself sprawled out on the couch, kissing. And naked.
He flushed with thick desire and swore. He mentally admonished himself, this wasn't the time or place for this sort of thing! Had he no self-control whatsoever?
Continuing to grumble to himself, the school teacher forced himself to stand up. Annoyance and the couch helped him remain on his feet. The room resumed its familiar spin. Iruka closed his eyes to shut it out and control his dizziness. He gave himself a minute before he dared to reopen them.
The room, fortunately, had ceased acting like it enjoyed twirling around like a ballerina. Relief, brought a small smile to his face, before a determined expression settled in. Carefully, he didn't want to fall and worry Kakashi, step by wary step Iruka walked over to a set of seven photographs framed in silver hanging on the wall opposite the sofa.
When he finally reached them, he saw the first photo that showed a young couple wearing ninja head protectors with the Hidden Leaf Village sigil. It was something of a shock when he finally realized that they had to be Kakashi's parents. The young man had the jounin's blue-gray eyes and the woman had the exact shade of Kakashi's silver-colored hair, bound up in a long thick braid.
He gazed at them solemnly for several minutes before a another detail caught his attention and made him laugh. The chunin barely was able to move his hand fast enough to muffle the sound with a clamped hand over his mouth.
It was just that he, 'finally' got a small mystery about the jounin that had been niggling at him since he had first seen the other man solved.
It seemed that Kakashi's gravity defying hair was natural. And inherited from his father. The man in the picture had pitch black hair with an identical hair style to that of his son.
Still grinning, Iruka moved over to the next photograph in the row. In it were a slightly older version of Kakashi's parents and held proudly between them, a small blanket wrapped bundle with a tiny pink face peeking though the cloth.
Iruka groaned with disappointment, even in this picture, Kakashi's lower face was covered with part of the blanket. He would have continued to feel like that but another peek at the tiny Kakashi's eyes swiftly restored his moon.
The chunin nearly melted to the floor at the overwhelming adorableness of a baby Kakashi. The tiny figure looked only a couple of weeks old. Maybe less. He looked sleepy but high intelligence shone in the big eyes of the baby.
Iruka sighed with content and moved on.
The third picture had the entire family together again. But in this one they were dressed up for some special occasion. Both adults wore expensive looking kimonos. Kakashi's mother had blue and red flowers woven into her hair. Little Kakashi stood between them.
He couldn't be more than three years old, Iruka hazard to guess. He thought, Kakashi was still utterly enchanting.
The school teacher was also bemused by the rather large multi-colored lollipop held before the boy's mouth and once again hiding his lower face from view of the camera.
Iruka was beginning to suspect a conspiracy, perpetuated by a certain silver-haired jounin currently in the kitchen.
"Kakashi probably decided to put up only the pictures in which no one could see his face," Iruka mumbled to himself. A quick peek at the remaining photographs showed that to be true.
Oddly enough, rather than to once again grow dismayed about missing a 'another' chance to see the jounin's face, Iruka found himself getting excited. If there were the only pictures that Kakashi had dared to put up for everyone to see, that meant that there had to be even more photographs hidden somewhere. And the had to show a young Kakashi's face.
So, if Kakashi's parents had been anything like his own…..then there had to be hundreds upon hundreds of photographs portraying a baby and toddler Kakashi. And they had to be somewhere in this apartment.
Iruka was so elated by the prospect that he nearly bounced around like Naruto in an enthusiastic I'm-Gonna-Get Ramen!- high. The school teacher grinned and wondered if he could somehow get the older man to bring them out to show him. All in the name of friendship, of course.
A nearly evil grin took over his face at the plan to 'finally' get to see Kakashi's face. Sure it would only be a child Kakashi's face but at this point the would accept anything he could get with a glad heart.
Before he could move on to the next picture, a pair of gloved hands clamped down onto his hips and spun his around.
"What are you doing off the couch?!" yelled Kakashi, his voice full of angry worry.
Iruka tried not to wobble from his unexpected disorienting spin. He was so busy trying to look healthy that he completely forgot to answer and reassure the other man.
Kakashi suppressed the urge to shake the brunet for his stupidity. How could he risk walking around when he could barely risk standing up?, mentally raged the jounin. He could have fallen, and injured himself and I wouldn't have noticed until it was too late, continued his anguished thoughts.
Rather than being intimidated by the silver-haired man's fury, Iruka found himself touched by the concern and evidence that Kakashi did cared for him enough to grow mad at him over his welfare.
"I'm fine," soothed Iruka with a calm voice. "I was careful. I just wanted to look at your photographs."
This admission completely stopped Kakashi's mental ranting.
Iruka smiled at the jounin and slyly continued, "You're a cute kid, Kakashi. If you have any more photos I'd love to see them."
The silver-haired man blinked, caught off-guard by the other man's request. Al his mind could think of was that Iruka found him 'cute'. Sure it was only the kid him but the admittance made him grin under his mask.
Then, Kakashi caught the mischievous twinkle in the chunin's brown eyes. With a leap of intuition, he knew exactly why Iruka wanted to get a look at those photographs.
With most people this subversive way to get a look at his face since they wouldn't have been able to get under his mask would have made him severely annoyed at them. But the memory of how the school teacher had that exact opportunity and passed it up to respect his privacy and not look under his mask when he had been unconscious, just made him feel amused at this cheerful attempt.
It was enjoyable. Their interactions were full of banter without cruelty or spitefulness that he occasionally received from other ninjas jealous of his skills. Or fear, which was even worse at times to get from people who he had devoted his life and loyalty.
"Nice try," he replied dryly and reached out to tweak Iruka's nose. "I know a diversionary tactic when I hear it."
Iruka clutched his nose with one hand, looking indignant at Kakashi's action. Then he opened his mouth to pretest that it wasn't what he was trying to do when the jounin grabbed him by the arm and carefully dragged him to the kitchen.
With the same gentleness, the jounin set Iruka on the only chair next to a tiny table. He gave the school teacher a look, and once he was satisfied that the brunet wasn't planning on getting up, he went to get the coffee.
The steaming mugs had been waiting on the counter so all that Kakashi had to do was grab them and head back to the chunin. He set the mug next to Iruka's hand.
"Thanks," Iruka said politely. He took a cautious swallow, mindful of the heat. His eyes fluttered close. After the first swallow he practically inhaled the rest of it.
Kakashi hitched himself up on the table until his feet danged just a few inches above the floor. His visible eye curved up with amusement at Iruka's soft moan of pleasure as he continuously drank his coffee.
"Good?" the silver haired man asked. His own untouched cup was held in his hand.
Iruka hummed his complete agreement. As a school teacher it seemed that there had been times in which he had lived entirely on coffee. The single coffee pot that eternally simmered at the teacher's lounge had liquid that had the consistence of tar, and just about the same taste. He often survived a day of teaching with three such cups. In comparison, Kakashi's coffee was a mouthful of liquid heaven.
Looking down on the chunin, Kakashi felt a resurgence of warmth for him. When, Iruka's eyes opened up to look back at him, the jounin felt his heartbeat double. And when the brunet smiled at him with such happiness, Kakashi would it difficult to breathe.
Iruka really was pretty attractive, he thought.
It was this thought more than anything else that made him follow through on his impulse to bring his hand up and pull down his mask.
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Iruka had been enjoying the twin pleasures of great coffee and the close presence of the object of his fantasies, when he saw Kakashi's hand move up towards his face.
At first his mind was confused and he didn't understand the significance of Kakashi's action. But less than a split second later he made the connection and it was like having a bolt of lightning crawl down his back. The school teacher's heart nearly stopped with the hope and disbelief.
To his vague distress, everything seemed to slow down to a crawl. Slowly, achingly slowly, Kakashi's fingers caught the edge of the black mask and pulled it down. Over his straight nose, to a flawless mouth and finally over a perfect chin.
Iruka stared in awestruck wonder and joy. Kakashi had finally unmasked himself.
And the other man was utterly gorgeous.
The chunin's heart restarted with a nearly painful thump.
Kakashi smiled down at him. Straight white teeth seemed to sparkle in the light of the kitchen. Nearly at once, Iruka could feel his cheeks begin burning with redness. His blush made the jounin's smile grow bigger and he winked at the other man.
All this made Iruka feel dizzy, in a very good way.
Kakashi, feeling a little self-conscious about Iruka's scrutiny, focused on his cup of coffee. The number of people that had knew what he looked like under the mask were so few that he could count them on his hands and have a few fingers left over. But he didn't regret adding Iruka's name to that short list. The jounin raised his coffee up towards his mouth and tilted his head back to swallow it in swift gulps.
Iruka could practically feel his pupils dilate as he watched that long, pale neck swallow. Pure lust froze him in place, hypnotized by the other man.
Nearly at once, part of his mind wondered how he would last the night near the jounin and manage to keep his hands to himself. Hell, he didn't think he could keep his self-control intact for the next ten minutes. He swallowed down his sense of panic.
I'm in trouble, Iruka thought.
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Sasuke focused his chakra to his feet and 'walked' up a tall and old tree. He knew that he could use a running start to get to the top but he preferred walking. It made the chakra excise twice as difficult to walk than to run.
The mental concentration he used to stick and unstuck his feet as he got higher and higher into the leafy boughs of the tree was enough to keep his mind off other things. Useless things, like bouncy blond teammates and stealing kisses he didn't deserve.
When he reached the highest, thinnest possible branch that would still support his weight, Sasuke relaxed. At once, to his considerable irritation, thoughts of Naruto swiftly returned.
The dark, haired boy sat on his branch and brooded. Part of him couldn't believe that he had done 'that'. That he'd actually kissed Naruto. He had been dealing with his feelings for the blond boy by burying them as far back into his mind as he could stuff that sealed mental box.
But now? Today forced him to confront those hidden emotions with a horrified realization that instead of fading away, like he had hoped, those feelings had, instead, grown even stronger than before.
Nevermind, that he still had issues to deal with over the fact that these feelings were for another boy, before even bring up that it was Naruto that was the object of his affections. Naruto!
He scowled up at the clouds currently hiding the moon from his sight, as if they were the cause of all his problems.
Sasuke knew that he couldn't afford to have such feelings for anyone, male or female, it didn't matter. His entire reason to exist was to avenge his clan. His only reason for living was this very same goal. It was in his every thought, in every breath he took, it was the driving force to excel in being the strongest ninja he could be. Except….
Except…when he is near to Naruto those loudly, screaming thoughts of avenging his family dimmed and became nothing but faint whispering in the wind. Too dim to even be comprehend their words.
It seemed, thought Sasuke, as if he had been born to battle and kill. And he trained for that with his entire being but when he was near Naruto that desire just drained away until all he felt was peace. Naruto brought his peace. Even with all their fighting rivalry, it never felt serious.
The boy sighed. It was times like these that he wished he could stay as far away from Naruto as he could get so that he could increase the strength of his chakra and perfect his nin-jutsus without any distraction.
But even if it was possible, after time he would find himself returning to the other boy's presence. It was disturbing to realize how often he seemed to need to reassure himself of Naruto's existence and well-being. He could never go too long without taking a moment to check up on him.
Sasuke sighed, and slumped against the thing tree trunk. Maybe, he thought dully, it would be better, in the long run, to admit his feelings for Naruto to him. Let the other boy laugh in his face and stomp and grind him into the dirt with his rejection. At least then he could start to get over him. He could do it. He didn't fear the pain. Then, afterwards he could be as dead, and cold inside his heart as he often acted.
But what if that didn't happen? What is instead of laughing in your face, he feels the same, whispered part of his mind.
Sasuke slammed his head back against the trunk with a soft thud. In response the tree top shivered. The dark haired boy ignored it.
The hope that Naruto could possible feel the same way about him refused to die out. Even thought he knew that he couldn't even imagine it happening, that sliver of hope remained.
In a way, that was what was really preventing him from just telling Naruto everything. Because if they both felt the same, then what? Dud they continue to go on as teammates? Or would they try to become more? And if that happened, how long would it last? How could having a boyfriend help him fulfill his vow to restore his clan?
Sasuke brooded on these questions but no clear, acceptable answers came to him.
Yet to him, this wasn't the only problem. There was also HIM.
Itachi.
He didn't doubt for a second that if HE somehow learned of his growing attachment to Naruto, the blond boy would instantly be in danger. Sasuke knew that he couldn't take such a risk.
The problems he faced vanished as long as he ignored his feelings. If Naruto remained his rival then he wouldn't need to worry about any other potential problem that being in a relationship with the other boy would create.
Sasuke sighed in frustration. He wasn't going to solve everything tonight. He might as well get some more training done before he headed home.
With his next course of action determined, the dark haired genin proceeded to walk down the tree to the forest floor to resume his training.
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It wasn't until Naruto was well away from his house that he realized he didn't know how to get to Sasuke's house since he'd never had a reason to go there before now.
He pondered on if for a second before deciding that it would just be faster if he asked someone. Looking around, Naruto noticed that the streets were pretty empty. He quickly brightened up when he saw a girl close to his age walking across the street.
He figured that if all the girls in the village were so obsessed with Sasuke then one of them had to know where in the world he lived.
"Hey!" he chirped. "Can you help me? I'm trying to find the home of Sasuke Uchiha."
The girl turned to look at him. The friendly look on her face vanished the instant that she realized who was talking to her. She sneered, making her pretty face as ugly as a monster, "Why would I tell a piece of trash like you anything?"
Naruto froze in shock. The pain in his heart was nearly overwhelming.
"Now get away from me!" she snarled and stalked away.
The blond boy trembled. He had forgotten. The entire village hated him.
He had gotten so used to the way that Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei and his teammates actually acknowledged him that he just forgot that the rest of the village wasn't like that.
He stumbled away then broke into a blind run. Tears clouded his eyes but he refused to let them fall!
Without even thinking of where he was head, Naruto ran with all his strength. Thoughts of Sasuke and finding him were no longer in his mind.
All he wanted was to get away.
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TBC
JD here! [a/n]: *puzzled look* Is it just me or is Kakashi really not clueing?
Ack! Got to feel sorry for Kakashi. His best friend and first love *winces* Ouch.
*snickers* And there goes Iruka, being opportunistic again. And a snoop.
*freaks out* Argh! Kakashi finally did it! He actually lowered his mask! *has a heart attack*
*sigh* God I hoped the scene with Sasuke made sense. I didn't get as much time to go over it as I could have wished. *shrugs* Oh well, I can always fix stuff later.
*snarls* Is it just me or that scene with Naruto make you want to kill nearly everyone in Konoha just for the mental torment they've put that boy through? Yeesh, makes an authoress consider joining forces is with the baddies.
OK! Another chapter done! Yay! I'm crossing my fingers in hope that the next chapter won't take as long to write! And more reviews always make the fingers tingle to write. *wide innocent eyes*
REVIEW!….pwease?
Disclaimer: I don't really feel like saying it right now. Get back to me in a few hundred years. *unhappy sigh* All screw-ups are still mine, though. *pout*
Warning: dark memories, kiddie Kakashi and a treetop brooding. This chapter has more angst than previous ones, though fluffy bits still creeped in.
Rating: for this chapter: PG
Pairing: For the entire fic? - KakaIru and SasuNaru
Feedback: Any will be adored, printed out and drooled over. Flames will be used to fan the fires of my imagination to write more fics. What?! O_o I believe in using a person's weapon against them. *eg*
Author's Notes: Before I say anything, *throws herself to the floor* I'm sooooo sorry that this chapter took so long to post! I just didn't get the time to write! Please I don't want to be beaten to a pulp!
*Sasuke-plushie scowls* You're being pathetic.
*coughs* Well…let move on…. HUGE thanks to everyone who has read this story. I still can't believe that there are so many people that enjoy it! And super-thanks to the ninth power for everyone that reviews. Each and every single review is adored.
I also have another recommendation! *happy bounce* The fic is titled Compensate by Silver-blue Dolphin. I warn you though, its NOT a happy fic. Very dark and bloody so be prepared. And if its not your cup of tea just don't read it. No one's holding it against you, promise.
*beams* I'm gonna stop babbling now. I know I'm just getting in the way. So go on, read the ficcie. I know you want to.
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Upon entering the kitchen Kakashi could have smacked himself for being such an idiot. He was still having a hard time about accepting Iruka as a friend and now he wanted more?
The jounin growled at himself. The other man probably didn't even find other men attractive.
Also, part of him couldn't help but feel that such emotions for anyone, not just for the chunin, would be a betrayal of Obito's memory.
He felt like this because his best friend in the entire world had also been his first love. Kakashi lived with the aching regret that he never plucked up the courage to tell him that, to find out if there could have been more between them. Their relationship had been very close, usually so for two elite ninjas in the same team facing dangers every day. Most elite ninjas closed themselves off having seen too much death by the time they reached their high level rank. But they hadn't, at least not for each other.
The lack of closure in terms of his the depth of his feelings for his friend made the grief remain razor blade sharp even after so many years. It hadn't helped him that the part of him that felt responsible for the deaths of everyone he cared for was certain that it was his love for Obito that had lead to his death.
Lost in thought, Kakashi was vaguely aware of his actions as he searched the cupboards of his kitchen for instant coffee. He used to hate it before he learned that if kept better over long periods of time. His fingers found the red colored jar he pulled it out and set it on the counter. He automatically filled two large mugs with water from the tap.
The jounin bit back a swallow of guilt over his actions with Iruka. Maybe, becoming such quick friends with him would somehow show he no longer cared about Obito's memory and keeping his spirit alive.
The part of Kakashi's mind trained to react with cold logic knew that these thought processes didn't make sense but emotions often didn't react logically.
The strangling feelings of grief and ever-present guilt reclaimed their familiar hold on him. Crystal clear memories of that awful night, in the rain and the blood-soaked mud, resurfaced as they did and had for nearly every day since.
His skin trembled as he remembered the biting cold and his hands clenched as if holding knifes for a fight. That nightmare had begun with him finding a familiar dismembered hand, nearly hidden in the swirling muddy water. It hadn't been Obito's but it had been of a teammate. That find was only a slim warning to everything else he would find.
The 'S' class missing-nin they had been assigned to hunt had a sick penchant for mutilating his victims as much as he could while letting them live so he could enjoy their pain and fear as they descended into death.
They had been tracking him for days. What they hadn't known was that he had known they were following and deliberately led them into his lair which he controlled completely. It had been a trap. Sprung, quietly and suddenly like all good traps. One by one, the missing nin had captured the Anbu squad. The criminal had played vicious mind games, leaving bits and pieces for the remaining teammates to find. They had desperately tried to stop him. But the missing nin had been too good and couldn't be caught by every plan they thought up. His entire team vanished into his hands until only Obito and he were left.
The only reason that Obito had been the next one to get captured instead of him was because his best friend had insisted that he take point. Normally, that had been Kakashi's position, but Obito had argued that his Sharingan would serve them both better if he was the one looking for the traps. It hadn't helped.
Obito had been taken as silently as the rest. And he blamed himself for not watching his back like he promised.
Afterwards, it took him three days to track the missing nin down. Three days of finding freshly bleeding body parts in the pouring rain through thick mud. Three days in which he had only narrowly escaped the traps covered every inch of the land. It had been on the second day of those three days he had lost the eye. Exhaustion had made his reflexes too slow to complete evade a spinning blade but it could have been worse. It could have split him in half.
He had driven himself to the bone. Desperate hope that he would arrive in time to rescue Obito had forced him to move faster than he normally would have.
The cave where the missing nin had taken his teammates was deep and long. Only the nauseating scent of rotting flesh and old blood had helped him find the exact chamber from the plethora of similar caverns.
There was where he faced the missing nin and his gruesome gory work.
Kakashi gritted his teeth and forced himself to focus on the reality of his brightly lit kitchen. He hated to remember what happened after he got to the cave. Only, long practice on fighting of the memories, and the additional help of the newly acquired soothing relief from Iruka's words allowed him to succeed in forcing his thoughts away from that awful recollection.
The jounin shook his head and grimly finished making the coffee he promised.
Even with guilt of feeling like he was replacing Obito, Kakashi realized that he didn't want to give Iruka up. He genuinely liked the chunin, and there weren't many people that he could say about.
And he trusted him completely and the individuals that he could say that about were extremely rare.
It wasn't until Kakashi had the two mugs ready to drink that he realized that he had unintentionally broken his promise to Doctor Mesu. He swore and rushed back to the living room.
He had left Iruka alone. For far too long.
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After he had managed to convince himself that he had just imagined things, Iruka gazed around the Kakashi's living room with burning curiosity. It wasn't everyday that the got to visit the other man's home. He couldn't let this opportunity to learn more about the silver-haired man slip through his fingers. Who knew when he would get another such chance to explore?
The lechery part of his mind pointed out with a cheerful leer that the details of the apartment he picked up would be a great use in his Kakashi fantasies.
Iruka blinked at the image of Kakashi and himself sprawled out on the couch, kissing. And naked.
He flushed with thick desire and swore. He mentally admonished himself, this wasn't the time or place for this sort of thing! Had he no self-control whatsoever?
Continuing to grumble to himself, the school teacher forced himself to stand up. Annoyance and the couch helped him remain on his feet. The room resumed its familiar spin. Iruka closed his eyes to shut it out and control his dizziness. He gave himself a minute before he dared to reopen them.
The room, fortunately, had ceased acting like it enjoyed twirling around like a ballerina. Relief, brought a small smile to his face, before a determined expression settled in. Carefully, he didn't want to fall and worry Kakashi, step by wary step Iruka walked over to a set of seven photographs framed in silver hanging on the wall opposite the sofa.
When he finally reached them, he saw the first photo that showed a young couple wearing ninja head protectors with the Hidden Leaf Village sigil. It was something of a shock when he finally realized that they had to be Kakashi's parents. The young man had the jounin's blue-gray eyes and the woman had the exact shade of Kakashi's silver-colored hair, bound up in a long thick braid.
He gazed at them solemnly for several minutes before a another detail caught his attention and made him laugh. The chunin barely was able to move his hand fast enough to muffle the sound with a clamped hand over his mouth.
It was just that he, 'finally' got a small mystery about the jounin that had been niggling at him since he had first seen the other man solved.
It seemed that Kakashi's gravity defying hair was natural. And inherited from his father. The man in the picture had pitch black hair with an identical hair style to that of his son.
Still grinning, Iruka moved over to the next photograph in the row. In it were a slightly older version of Kakashi's parents and held proudly between them, a small blanket wrapped bundle with a tiny pink face peeking though the cloth.
Iruka groaned with disappointment, even in this picture, Kakashi's lower face was covered with part of the blanket. He would have continued to feel like that but another peek at the tiny Kakashi's eyes swiftly restored his moon.
The chunin nearly melted to the floor at the overwhelming adorableness of a baby Kakashi. The tiny figure looked only a couple of weeks old. Maybe less. He looked sleepy but high intelligence shone in the big eyes of the baby.
Iruka sighed with content and moved on.
The third picture had the entire family together again. But in this one they were dressed up for some special occasion. Both adults wore expensive looking kimonos. Kakashi's mother had blue and red flowers woven into her hair. Little Kakashi stood between them.
He couldn't be more than three years old, Iruka hazard to guess. He thought, Kakashi was still utterly enchanting.
The school teacher was also bemused by the rather large multi-colored lollipop held before the boy's mouth and once again hiding his lower face from view of the camera.
Iruka was beginning to suspect a conspiracy, perpetuated by a certain silver-haired jounin currently in the kitchen.
"Kakashi probably decided to put up only the pictures in which no one could see his face," Iruka mumbled to himself. A quick peek at the remaining photographs showed that to be true.
Oddly enough, rather than to once again grow dismayed about missing a 'another' chance to see the jounin's face, Iruka found himself getting excited. If there were the only pictures that Kakashi had dared to put up for everyone to see, that meant that there had to be even more photographs hidden somewhere. And the had to show a young Kakashi's face.
So, if Kakashi's parents had been anything like his own…..then there had to be hundreds upon hundreds of photographs portraying a baby and toddler Kakashi. And they had to be somewhere in this apartment.
Iruka was so elated by the prospect that he nearly bounced around like Naruto in an enthusiastic I'm-Gonna-Get Ramen!- high. The school teacher grinned and wondered if he could somehow get the older man to bring them out to show him. All in the name of friendship, of course.
A nearly evil grin took over his face at the plan to 'finally' get to see Kakashi's face. Sure it would only be a child Kakashi's face but at this point the would accept anything he could get with a glad heart.
Before he could move on to the next picture, a pair of gloved hands clamped down onto his hips and spun his around.
"What are you doing off the couch?!" yelled Kakashi, his voice full of angry worry.
Iruka tried not to wobble from his unexpected disorienting spin. He was so busy trying to look healthy that he completely forgot to answer and reassure the other man.
Kakashi suppressed the urge to shake the brunet for his stupidity. How could he risk walking around when he could barely risk standing up?, mentally raged the jounin. He could have fallen, and injured himself and I wouldn't have noticed until it was too late, continued his anguished thoughts.
Rather than being intimidated by the silver-haired man's fury, Iruka found himself touched by the concern and evidence that Kakashi did cared for him enough to grow mad at him over his welfare.
"I'm fine," soothed Iruka with a calm voice. "I was careful. I just wanted to look at your photographs."
This admission completely stopped Kakashi's mental ranting.
Iruka smiled at the jounin and slyly continued, "You're a cute kid, Kakashi. If you have any more photos I'd love to see them."
The silver-haired man blinked, caught off-guard by the other man's request. Al his mind could think of was that Iruka found him 'cute'. Sure it was only the kid him but the admittance made him grin under his mask.
Then, Kakashi caught the mischievous twinkle in the chunin's brown eyes. With a leap of intuition, he knew exactly why Iruka wanted to get a look at those photographs.
With most people this subversive way to get a look at his face since they wouldn't have been able to get under his mask would have made him severely annoyed at them. But the memory of how the school teacher had that exact opportunity and passed it up to respect his privacy and not look under his mask when he had been unconscious, just made him feel amused at this cheerful attempt.
It was enjoyable. Their interactions were full of banter without cruelty or spitefulness that he occasionally received from other ninjas jealous of his skills. Or fear, which was even worse at times to get from people who he had devoted his life and loyalty.
"Nice try," he replied dryly and reached out to tweak Iruka's nose. "I know a diversionary tactic when I hear it."
Iruka clutched his nose with one hand, looking indignant at Kakashi's action. Then he opened his mouth to pretest that it wasn't what he was trying to do when the jounin grabbed him by the arm and carefully dragged him to the kitchen.
With the same gentleness, the jounin set Iruka on the only chair next to a tiny table. He gave the school teacher a look, and once he was satisfied that the brunet wasn't planning on getting up, he went to get the coffee.
The steaming mugs had been waiting on the counter so all that Kakashi had to do was grab them and head back to the chunin. He set the mug next to Iruka's hand.
"Thanks," Iruka said politely. He took a cautious swallow, mindful of the heat. His eyes fluttered close. After the first swallow he practically inhaled the rest of it.
Kakashi hitched himself up on the table until his feet danged just a few inches above the floor. His visible eye curved up with amusement at Iruka's soft moan of pleasure as he continuously drank his coffee.
"Good?" the silver haired man asked. His own untouched cup was held in his hand.
Iruka hummed his complete agreement. As a school teacher it seemed that there had been times in which he had lived entirely on coffee. The single coffee pot that eternally simmered at the teacher's lounge had liquid that had the consistence of tar, and just about the same taste. He often survived a day of teaching with three such cups. In comparison, Kakashi's coffee was a mouthful of liquid heaven.
Looking down on the chunin, Kakashi felt a resurgence of warmth for him. When, Iruka's eyes opened up to look back at him, the jounin felt his heartbeat double. And when the brunet smiled at him with such happiness, Kakashi would it difficult to breathe.
Iruka really was pretty attractive, he thought.
It was this thought more than anything else that made him follow through on his impulse to bring his hand up and pull down his mask.
*-*-*-*-
Iruka had been enjoying the twin pleasures of great coffee and the close presence of the object of his fantasies, when he saw Kakashi's hand move up towards his face.
At first his mind was confused and he didn't understand the significance of Kakashi's action. But less than a split second later he made the connection and it was like having a bolt of lightning crawl down his back. The school teacher's heart nearly stopped with the hope and disbelief.
To his vague distress, everything seemed to slow down to a crawl. Slowly, achingly slowly, Kakashi's fingers caught the edge of the black mask and pulled it down. Over his straight nose, to a flawless mouth and finally over a perfect chin.
Iruka stared in awestruck wonder and joy. Kakashi had finally unmasked himself.
And the other man was utterly gorgeous.
The chunin's heart restarted with a nearly painful thump.
Kakashi smiled down at him. Straight white teeth seemed to sparkle in the light of the kitchen. Nearly at once, Iruka could feel his cheeks begin burning with redness. His blush made the jounin's smile grow bigger and he winked at the other man.
All this made Iruka feel dizzy, in a very good way.
Kakashi, feeling a little self-conscious about Iruka's scrutiny, focused on his cup of coffee. The number of people that had knew what he looked like under the mask were so few that he could count them on his hands and have a few fingers left over. But he didn't regret adding Iruka's name to that short list. The jounin raised his coffee up towards his mouth and tilted his head back to swallow it in swift gulps.
Iruka could practically feel his pupils dilate as he watched that long, pale neck swallow. Pure lust froze him in place, hypnotized by the other man.
Nearly at once, part of his mind wondered how he would last the night near the jounin and manage to keep his hands to himself. Hell, he didn't think he could keep his self-control intact for the next ten minutes. He swallowed down his sense of panic.
I'm in trouble, Iruka thought.
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Sasuke focused his chakra to his feet and 'walked' up a tall and old tree. He knew that he could use a running start to get to the top but he preferred walking. It made the chakra excise twice as difficult to walk than to run.
The mental concentration he used to stick and unstuck his feet as he got higher and higher into the leafy boughs of the tree was enough to keep his mind off other things. Useless things, like bouncy blond teammates and stealing kisses he didn't deserve.
When he reached the highest, thinnest possible branch that would still support his weight, Sasuke relaxed. At once, to his considerable irritation, thoughts of Naruto swiftly returned.
The dark, haired boy sat on his branch and brooded. Part of him couldn't believe that he had done 'that'. That he'd actually kissed Naruto. He had been dealing with his feelings for the blond boy by burying them as far back into his mind as he could stuff that sealed mental box.
But now? Today forced him to confront those hidden emotions with a horrified realization that instead of fading away, like he had hoped, those feelings had, instead, grown even stronger than before.
Nevermind, that he still had issues to deal with over the fact that these feelings were for another boy, before even bring up that it was Naruto that was the object of his affections. Naruto!
He scowled up at the clouds currently hiding the moon from his sight, as if they were the cause of all his problems.
Sasuke knew that he couldn't afford to have such feelings for anyone, male or female, it didn't matter. His entire reason to exist was to avenge his clan. His only reason for living was this very same goal. It was in his every thought, in every breath he took, it was the driving force to excel in being the strongest ninja he could be. Except….
Except…when he is near to Naruto those loudly, screaming thoughts of avenging his family dimmed and became nothing but faint whispering in the wind. Too dim to even be comprehend their words.
It seemed, thought Sasuke, as if he had been born to battle and kill. And he trained for that with his entire being but when he was near Naruto that desire just drained away until all he felt was peace. Naruto brought his peace. Even with all their fighting rivalry, it never felt serious.
The boy sighed. It was times like these that he wished he could stay as far away from Naruto as he could get so that he could increase the strength of his chakra and perfect his nin-jutsus without any distraction.
But even if it was possible, after time he would find himself returning to the other boy's presence. It was disturbing to realize how often he seemed to need to reassure himself of Naruto's existence and well-being. He could never go too long without taking a moment to check up on him.
Sasuke sighed, and slumped against the thing tree trunk. Maybe, he thought dully, it would be better, in the long run, to admit his feelings for Naruto to him. Let the other boy laugh in his face and stomp and grind him into the dirt with his rejection. At least then he could start to get over him. He could do it. He didn't fear the pain. Then, afterwards he could be as dead, and cold inside his heart as he often acted.
But what if that didn't happen? What is instead of laughing in your face, he feels the same, whispered part of his mind.
Sasuke slammed his head back against the trunk with a soft thud. In response the tree top shivered. The dark haired boy ignored it.
The hope that Naruto could possible feel the same way about him refused to die out. Even thought he knew that he couldn't even imagine it happening, that sliver of hope remained.
In a way, that was what was really preventing him from just telling Naruto everything. Because if they both felt the same, then what? Dud they continue to go on as teammates? Or would they try to become more? And if that happened, how long would it last? How could having a boyfriend help him fulfill his vow to restore his clan?
Sasuke brooded on these questions but no clear, acceptable answers came to him.
Yet to him, this wasn't the only problem. There was also HIM.
Itachi.
He didn't doubt for a second that if HE somehow learned of his growing attachment to Naruto, the blond boy would instantly be in danger. Sasuke knew that he couldn't take such a risk.
The problems he faced vanished as long as he ignored his feelings. If Naruto remained his rival then he wouldn't need to worry about any other potential problem that being in a relationship with the other boy would create.
Sasuke sighed in frustration. He wasn't going to solve everything tonight. He might as well get some more training done before he headed home.
With his next course of action determined, the dark haired genin proceeded to walk down the tree to the forest floor to resume his training.
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It wasn't until Naruto was well away from his house that he realized he didn't know how to get to Sasuke's house since he'd never had a reason to go there before now.
He pondered on if for a second before deciding that it would just be faster if he asked someone. Looking around, Naruto noticed that the streets were pretty empty. He quickly brightened up when he saw a girl close to his age walking across the street.
He figured that if all the girls in the village were so obsessed with Sasuke then one of them had to know where in the world he lived.
"Hey!" he chirped. "Can you help me? I'm trying to find the home of Sasuke Uchiha."
The girl turned to look at him. The friendly look on her face vanished the instant that she realized who was talking to her. She sneered, making her pretty face as ugly as a monster, "Why would I tell a piece of trash like you anything?"
Naruto froze in shock. The pain in his heart was nearly overwhelming.
"Now get away from me!" she snarled and stalked away.
The blond boy trembled. He had forgotten. The entire village hated him.
He had gotten so used to the way that Iruka-sensei, Kakashi-sensei and his teammates actually acknowledged him that he just forgot that the rest of the village wasn't like that.
He stumbled away then broke into a blind run. Tears clouded his eyes but he refused to let them fall!
Without even thinking of where he was head, Naruto ran with all his strength. Thoughts of Sasuke and finding him were no longer in his mind.
All he wanted was to get away.
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TBC
JD here! [a/n]: *puzzled look* Is it just me or is Kakashi really not clueing?
Ack! Got to feel sorry for Kakashi. His best friend and first love *winces* Ouch.
*snickers* And there goes Iruka, being opportunistic again. And a snoop.
*freaks out* Argh! Kakashi finally did it! He actually lowered his mask! *has a heart attack*
*sigh* God I hoped the scene with Sasuke made sense. I didn't get as much time to go over it as I could have wished. *shrugs* Oh well, I can always fix stuff later.
*snarls* Is it just me or that scene with Naruto make you want to kill nearly everyone in Konoha just for the mental torment they've put that boy through? Yeesh, makes an authoress consider joining forces is with the baddies.
OK! Another chapter done! Yay! I'm crossing my fingers in hope that the next chapter won't take as long to write! And more reviews always make the fingers tingle to write. *wide innocent eyes*
REVIEW!….pwease?