In celebration of the new season:

Chapter Fourteen- Breaking the Broken

I woke up and wished that I was dead

With an aching in my head

I lay motionless in bed

I thought of you and where you'd gone

And let the world spin madly on

-World Spins Madly On; The Weepies

Notes from Nathan Scott (Patient # 132)'s Session

-Patient appears very mild tempered, but when asked to talk about anything concerning

a.) The School Lock Down or

b.) His family

his reaction is very defensive and could be helped in further psychoanalysis therapy. Hints at a hard family life. Older brother is in the hospital for gunshot wounds. Girlfriend was in the library when school shooting occurred.

So how are you feeling today Mr. Scott?

How am I feeling?

Yes, how do you feel?

I feel like my school just got shot up and seven people died, how the fuck do you think I feel?

It seems like you have a lot of suppressed anger—

Would you like me to "unsuppress" my anger Doctor? Are you even a doctor? It doesn't look like you're saving any lives to me.

There's more then one way to save a life Mr. Scott.

Maybe you should tell that to Chris Keller.

Lucas-

It had been eight days since I'd seen her. Eight days since I last saw her laugh or smile or squint her eyes at me like she really wanted to say something but wasn't quite sure if she should. Eight days. One-hundred-and-ninety-two hours. Eleven-thousand-five-hundred-and-twenty-minutes. More seconds then I could count. More seconds then I wanted to count. It had been forever. Longer then forever. It had been a thousand moments of torturous silence surrounded by blank white walls and starch white sheets. Whirling machines and clear plastic tubes. I didn't know why she wouldn't come visit me, and nobody would tell me.

"She's okay," Haley had said, turning away when I had asked. And that was it.

"Aren't you excited Luke?" Mom asked, sending me a bright smile. "You finally get to get out of this hospital!" I looked up and attempted a smile but it came out more of a grimace instead. I had just changed into my clothes and was packing up the books and video games that Nathan had brought over for me.

"Yeah," I said softly. "I can't wait to go home." At least that was the truth. Because going home meant Brooke would be there and if Brooke was there then I would finally be able to figure out whey nobody would look me in the eye when I asked about her. I knew she wasn't hurt with the exception of a sprained ankle because Jake had managed to get her out of the building when I had gotten shot. Turns out Jake and Tim had been hiding in a classroom near where Peyton and Brooke were, so when they heard the gun shots they both raced out and ran right into the guy. Tim had managed to keep him preoccupied while Jake got Brooke out and then the police finally decided to intervene.

I felt a sudden surge of anger at the thought of the police. It was their job to protect people and they had just sat on the outside looking in, waiting for something to happen. Well a lot happened in that school while they were sitting there wondering what to do. People had died and—I cut off my train of thought quickly because of course it wasn't their fault. They were just following orders.

"Ready?" Mom asked, leaning down to pick up my bag. I nodded and she moved quickly to hold the door open for me. "Let's get this show on the road."

I followed her to the car and leaned against the bumper, waiting for her to unlock the doors.

"Do you think…" I paused and mom looked up from where she had been inserting the key into the lock. "Do you think I can go to school tomorrow? I mean, did the doctor say I was ready?"

"Honey…school's going to start again on Monday—you know they had to cancel it for a week so they could clean up—" Clean up blood and tears and pain from the long white corridors. "And I'm just not sure you're ready yet. The doctor gave you the all clear, but maybe you should wait just a little longer, just to make sure you're really okay."

I looked down at my feet and nodded slowly, trying not to think about who had to go back into that school and wipe up the remains of a day of terror. "Yeah…right. Of course."

"Lets just see how you feel tomorrow, okay?" Mom said, opening the door and pushing the button to unlock my side too. I got in and sat silently for the whole ride, leaning my head against the window and wondering if the house would look the same when I got home. For some reason it felt like it should be different. Like something should have changed because everything else in my world had been altered so drastically.

"Why don't you go on up to your room and I'll fix you a snack?" Mom offered, pulling into the driveway. I nodded and started towards the house, noting in my mind that it looked the same. Exactly the same as the last time I had seen it.

Except when I walked into the house and the staircases came into view the entire world seemed just a little bit darker. I ran a nervous hand through my hair and briefly contemplated going up to my room before I turned towards Brooke's staircase. It was now or never.

The walk up her stairs seemed to take far longer then I was used to, and when I reached the top there was no sound from the other side of the door. The silence was thick and almost tangible. I bunched my hands nervously in my pockets and took a deep breath, resting my forehead against the wall.

"Brooke?" I finally said, my voice sounding eerily loud in the stale calm of the house. "Can I come in?" I knocked gently on the door, hoping to hear some sort of reassuring laugh from within, beckoning me onwards, but instead there was nothing. "Brooke?" My eyes shifted nervously around and I chewed uneasily on my lower lip, wondering if I should try and open the door. Finally deciding that I couldn't—wouldn't—wait any longer, I placed my hand on the doorknob and turned it slowly. For one of the first times in my life I silently thanked mom for refusing to put locks on our doors.

When I opened the door though, it was as if all thoughts spiraled out of my mind and I was left with only a sudden gut wrenching feeling in the pit of my stomach. The room was dark, the lights off and the curtains pulled across the windows, only the soft light from the hallway filtering in to allow me to see Brooke. She was curled up in the center of her bed, knees drawn to her chest, head cradled in pale smooth arms.

My hands clenched helplessly by my sides and I closed my eyes quickly against the sight. I should have known that everything wouldn't just turn into sunshine and bunnies when I got back home, but somehow I hadn't been able to keep myself from wishing that maybe when I got out of the hospital everything between Brooke and I would be better. Maybe we would both be able to forgive each other for everything that had happened between us, everything that had been said. Maybe she would smile when she saw me and I would act the part of the wounded hero just to see her laugh. Maybe life would go back to normal.

But this, this was not what I had expected. Not what I had wanted.

"Brooke," I called softly, my voice steadier then I had thought it would be. She made no movement to show that she had heard me so I stepped into the room, leaving the door open so that light would still be able to shine in. With a deep breath I stepped towards the bed, trying desperately to calm the racing of my heart. I sat down carefully on the edge of the bed, reaching a hand out to touch her shoulder. "Brooke," I whispered, trying to get her attention.

Suddenly she moved, shying away from my touch and curling herself into a tighter ball, a small whimper escaping her lips.

"Brooke, look at me," I said softly, brushing her hair away from her face and trying to ignore how she jerked away from me. "It's Lucas, come on, you can talk to me."

"…Lucas," she whispered, and her head turned up slightly, eyes lifeless and dull, dry tear tracks streaking down her face. Her entire body seemed to sag from exhaustion and despair. "You're okay," she said, and this time I heard a hint of wonder in her voice, a touch of relief. Her eyes were wide and my heart clenched at the sight.

"I'm okay," I said, attempting a smile, fingers going to rub her arm soothingly. She twitched away again, this time shifting her entire body to get away from my touch. "Brooke—" I started, worried. "It's okay, everything's going to be okay now, you don't have to worry—"

"Everything's—everything's going to be okay?" she repeated in a strangled voice, and finally her face showed some expression although it was something I almost wished I never had to see on her face again. "No, nothing, nothing is ever, ever going to be okay again—" she choked on her words and her hands went to her face, shaky breaths rattling out between her fingers.

"Brooke," I whispered, my heart breaking at the sight. "Please, I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"You almost died," she said quietly, so quietly I almost didn't hear her. "You almost died and it was all my fault."

My breath caught in my throat and I froze. "Brooke, no—"

"I can't believe I was so stupid, so foolish, I could have gotten you killed, I almost, I almost—" she was sitting up now, fingers clenched in her long brown hair, body trembling, head shaking back and forth, eyes clenched shut. "I'm sorry Lucas, I am so sorry, I didn't—"

Without thinking I grabbed her shoulders and pulled her against my chest, ignoring her exclamation of protest. I wrapped my arms tightly around her small body and buried my face in the curve of her neck, breathing in as deep as I could and ignoring the way her body shuddered with sobs.

"I'm sorry Lucas, I'm so sorry, for everything, everything I've done and said and I didn't mean it, I swear, I didn't mean it I was just angry, angry and I was afraid, I was so afraid—I can't—"

"Sh," I whispered, breathing a soft puff of warm air against her skin. I pulled back slightly and cupped her cheeks in my hands. "Davis, none of what happened was your fault. You were incredibly strong and brave and we're both okay, it's going to be alright. I need you to pull it together though, okay? You shouldn't be living like this, I don't—" I paused and hesitated, trying to get up the courage to say more. "Chris wouldn't want you to do this to yourself, right?" It was cliché and ridiculously overused, but I figured it was true, and Brooke finally buried her face in my chest, still hiccupping with small sobs. She was silent for a while, and the only sound in the room was the short rasping breaths she was breathing in. I rubbed my thumb softly of the soft damp skin of her face and held her a little closer.

She curled closer to me and her arms went to wrap around my waist, but her elbow jutted into my bandaged side and I pulled back, yelping in pain before falling backwards on the bed, Brooke tumbling down on top of me. Her head slammed against my chest causing me to cough in surprise and lift my own head quickly to check and make sure she was okay.

She looked up slowly, and for a moment I was afraid she was about to start crying again, but then she didn't make a move to get up and a small smile started to build on her lips until a full blown grin was stretched across her face.

And with our mingled laughter ringing through the air, I thought to myself, maybe, just maybe, it all really would be alright after all.

Brooke-

"Hey Keller," I whispered, kneeling down next to the mound of fresh dirt. "Sorry I couldn't make it to your funeral." I pulled my jacket tighter around my body and bit my lip, closing my eyes and trying to imagine him smiling back, eyes smirking and mouth laughing. "I would have come," I said, opening my eyes and trailing my fingers across the tombstone. "I'm sorry. I know I should have come. Trust me, out of all the people who—died…you were the one I actually—" I stopped again and curled my hands into fists until I could feel my fingernails digging into my skin, little half moon circles engraved there in their wake. "I'll miss you," I finally said, nodding my head. "I'm not sure I can imagine Tree Hill without you." I laughed, tilting my head to the side and trying to fight past the lump in my throat.

"I never wanted to have to imagine it without you."

"But don't worry," I smiled, setting a little guitar pick next to the flowers someone else had set there earlier. "I'll be seeing you. You know you can't get rid of me even if you try. So don't you bother coming down to try and haunt my ass until I'm too scared to come visit you anymore, because that won't be happening." The smile slipped a little on my face and I stopped, flashes of white corridors and red stains creeping into my mind. "I'll never forget you," I breathed, lowering my eyes.

I stood, brushing the dirt off my knees and glancing back towards where my car was parked, Lucas waiting patiently in the driver's seat. "Goodbye," I whispered, turning before my emotions had a chance to get the better of me.

Rachel-

"Brooke!" I yelled, sprinting forward and throwing myself at the brunette girl, arms wrapping around her shoulders, fingers curling themselves protectively into her shoulders. "Oh my god, Brooke, you don't know how glad I am to see you, I'm so sorry about everything—everything that happened I wish I could have—"

"Rach," she laughed, pulling me closer. "I'm so glad you're okay, I'm sorry I didn't let you in when you came to visit me, I wasn't ready, I wasn't—"

"I'm just glad you're okay," I laughed, pulling away from her to grin at her tears. I smoothed her hair back from her face and ran a finger through her tears, pressing my forehead up against hers and closing my eyes. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"Haley, she told me what happened," Brooke whispered, and I froze, body going stiff and mind going blank. "What you did—you probably saved her. You saved yourself and Haley, you did great Rachel, I—"

"She turned herself in," I finally said, pulling away and wrapping my arms around myself. "They won't tell me what's going to happen to her, they just—" I hugged myself tighter, trying to get my thoughts in order. "I've known her since we were little, I should have kept in contact with her, I should have tried harder—I could have made her come with us, when we left the gym, she could have come with us, I—"

"You did everything you could," Brooke whispered, pulling me in for another hug. "What you did was brave, and strong, and nothing that happened was your fault. You couldn't have stopped it even if you tried. We should just be happy that we're both still here."

"Is Lucas--?" I asked, looking up at her.

"He's out of the hospital," she smiled, shrugging one shoulder. "We've doing okay."

"Okay as in…" I urged, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Is now really the time to be discussing my love life?" she asked, mimicking my action.

"So you admit there's something to tell!" I cried victoriously, smirking at her.

"Shut up," she grinned.

Brooke-

I am sliding down a narrow tunnel, and it drops me in a hallway. The hallway. And the walls are white white white and clean and empty with no exits and no doors and no one. No one.

There is a window. One window.

But it has no lock. No hinges. No way out.

There is a small crack in the window, diminutive, thin, spidery strand of freedom that taunts me as I claw at it, trying to get away. But there is no way out. The white walls are caving in on me and suddenly they are dripping red and I can't think except for the thought that I know I'm going to die here.

I can see people through the window. People. And I bang on it and scream, and cry out for someone anyone help me help me help me they're coming they're coming but nobody hears me and nobody sees me because I'm invisible and they are walking away and leaving me alone alonealonealonealonealone…and they're not. Coming. Back.

And now the footsteps are getting closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and nobody sees me and I think I'm going to die here because nobody cares nobody cares nobody cares nobody cares and I'm alone all alone in my white washed hallway of nightmares. And I'm screaming and banging on the window and yelling for someone to please let me out don't leave me here I don't want to die don't want to die don't want to—and my hands are red and raw and I feel the screams tearing at my throat and I know I must have damaged something because my voice isn't coming anymore. I am screaming and it's silent because nobody can hear me and nobody can see me and I'm all alone alonealonealonealone

But I keep screaming because somebody needs to save me. Somebody needs to get me out because they're coming and I can't be here when they get here, I can't because when they find me they'll—but nobody's rescuing me and I'm the only one there. Only. One. There.

But I need someone, someone needs to save me because I can't be alone in here forever and ever and everandever and

"—Brooke—"

Fingertips trailed softly across my tear streaked face and I took a large gasping breath and almost choked on my sobs. Gentle hands rubbed my back soothingly and I closed my eyes tight against the images flashing through the dark in front of my eyes.

I could feel Lucas pulling me closer, nestling his head into the crook of my neck and sighing into my hair. I wondered vaguely if he had heard me crying out or if he had been, in fact, awake already, thinking over the drastic changes that had sent shockwaves through our lives.

I almost wished he would say something, anything, just to contrast reality with the cold desperation and panic of my dreams, but I knew the silence with Lucas was far different from the echoing nothingness of my nightmares. This silence was different. It was calm and still, comfort and soothing. True silence isn't always just people not speaking. It is the calm after the storm, the deep breath after resurfacing, the rising of the moon and the setting of the sun.

The way Lucas said I love you without ever making a single sound.

Lucas-

"Brooke," I said, motioning for her to come over to me the moment I noticed her stumbling into the kitchen.

"Wha?" Brooke murmured, rubbing her eyes sleepily and shuffling over to me, tripping over a basketball on her way. Mom, who was in the process of running around frantically trying to get us ready for school and make everybody breakfast, caught her quickly and passed her kindly over to me with a small ruffle of the hair.

"Come on," I said in a soft kind of voice, smiling as Brooke plopped herself down, still rubbing at her eyes. I wrapped my arms tightly around her because, well, her body was still warm and soft from sleep and she just looked so cute squinting up at the light like that, I couldn't really help myself.

"Luke," she said tugging on my shirt sleeve and apparently quite unaware that she already had my full attention. "What are we doing?"

"Mom's making us breakfast," I explained, settling my head into the dip of Brooke's shoulder and her neck.

"But Lucas," Brooke whined. "I'm still sleepy!"

"I know Brookie," I sighed, tightening my grip a little. "We should probably try and do something about those nightmares you keep having…"

"Umpf," Brooke whimpered, squirming a little on my lap. "Lucas, you're squishing me!"

"Sorry," I said, loosening my hold on Brooke's waist (but just a little) but still not letting go entirely because she was still looking criminally adorable with her big blinking green eyes and her mouth turned down in a upset looking pout that I really needed to stop staring at because—damn, and they thought Haley was cute when she pouted—

"—and I really want you to be careful today Lucas. If anything happens or if you're feeling any pain, I want you to call me, okay?" I looked up in time to hear the ending of what I guessed was mom's speech.

"Haley and Nathan want to give us a ride to school today," I told mom, watching her carefully for a reaction.

"Make sure they drive safely," she said simply, turning to flip the pancakes.

"Lucas!" Brooke shouted, and I realized that I might just have been ignoring her in the aftermath of mom's speech. Which, I realized, I still hadn't really heard yet. "Lucas!" Brooke yelled again, and I snapped my head around so I could actually see her face and pretend I was actually listening all along.

"Yes?"

"You were ignoring me," Brooke whimpered, looking startlingly heartbroken.

"Oh no, I wasn't ignoring you!" I said quickly, turning my full attention back onto the girl on my lap. "What was it you wanted to say?"

"You're cutting off my circulation again," Brooke explained patiently, smiling brightly and patting me on the head when I released her. "Thank you." Brooke clambered off my lap and swayed gently on her feet, staring absently around the room with wide eyes. "It's a little crazy here," she said in a thoughtful voice after a moment of silent observance as Dan barreled past us attempting to put on his tie with one hand while buttering his toast with another.

"It is," I agreed, not taking my eyes off the girl in front of me.

"And really, Haley and Nathan will take at least fifteen minutes to get here," she added slowly.

"At least," I concurred.

"And Dan will probably be running around like a crazy person trying to get to work on time for the next ten minutes," she said, biting her lip.

"It's pretty dangerous," I tilted my head to the side seriously.

"Really, if you aren't wearing a long sleeved shirt or a sweater it's kind of cold," she said, bringing a finger up to tap leisurely at her chin.

"That's true," I nodded, glancing at Brooke's T-shirt and then my own.

"Maybe it would be safer to just stay here," Brooke finally concluded, shrugging one shoulder and cuddling back into my arms.

"Yeah," I agreed, smiling slightly.

"Lucas?" Brooke said, raising her head and twisting her neck a little so she could see my face better.

"Hm?" I hummed happily, tracing patters on Brooke's skin with my fingertips.

"Lucas, I can't feel my arms again," Brooke said, wiggling her body experimentally.

"Sorry," I said quickly, slackening my grip once again.

"That's alright," Brooke said, settling down again. She looked up at me, the sleepiness still in her gaze giving her a deceiving wide eyed innocence. "I feel like I'm safe when you hold on to me."

"I guess I better hold onto you more often then," I said after a moment of contemplation.

"Okay," Brooke smiled.

--

"Hey, Luke, Brooke, can we talk to you?" Nathan asked, pulling Haley against his side and leaning against the doorframe. I shrugged and yelled up the stairs for Brooke to come down, turning to stare at Haley and Nathan curiously after.

Haley smiled up at me, nervous and jittery, her am going to wrap around Nathan's waist and foot tapping quickly on the ground.

"What's up?" Brooke asked when she came to the door, pulling her hair up into a ponytail. I tried to ignore the worry that bubbled up inside of me at the sight. I knew she was having nightmares and I hated the bags under her eyes and the soft exhaustion in her body with a passion.

"We have something to tell you," Haley grinned.

--

Notes from Haley James (Patient # 241)'s Session

Is there anything you would like to tell me Haley? Any questions you have?

About what?

Anything at all. If you want to talk about what happened at school, or something that's going on at home, I'm here for you Haley. I'm here so you have someone to talk to, someone you can tell anything to.

Well…I was having nightmares for a while…

Have the nightmares stopped?

Yes, they stopped a few days ago.

Would you care to explain one of these nightmares to me?

Mostly it's just about me being alone, people leaving me, stuff like that.

Are you having any problems with abandonment in your life at this point?

No…

If I'm correct, you're in a relationship with Nathan Scott.

I don't see what that has to do with this.

Well perhaps you are afraid that he'll be leaving you, or these are fears from the school shooting, manifesting themselves in your dreams. Maybe while you were in the library you were afraid of losing Mr. Scott and now those fears are—

I'm pretty sure he won't be leaving me anytime soon.

You seem pretty confident in this.

I am.

I understand that you are in a stable relationship, but it's not healthy to—

I know he's not leaving me. We got married last night.

--

HELLO THERE!

This chapter was so happy! Admit it. It was. After chapter thirteen though, I couldn't do the angst.

I know this was short but I've already started on chapter fifteen and I want to get this up to you all ASAP! Which is why I won't be replying to your reviews for this chapter, but I promise I will for every single on of you on the next chapter! WE REACHED 300 REVIEWS! Alright, I admit, that might have been my real motivation for updating. But also!

Aschenbloeddel + B.P.Davis + Brucasforever77 + azmar + LONiLove + apple01 + stefybboh + especially catcat51092 and LBHNluver for urging me (repeatedly) to finally update! You guys have no idea how much I love you all. 3

And oh!

PLEASE READ!: I am well aware of the fact that it could take years to get over the traumatic experiences that some of these characters went through but for the sake of the story, we'll be speeding up the process a bit, m'kay? Alright.

Everything's Better if it's Brucas!

-Kendra