Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I'm just borrowing them for a bit.
Sanji has been sitting outside the motel room that Zoro has been deposited in. He's been chain smoking for about an hour; he'll probably have to go buy soon at this rate. He can't get the scene of where he found Zoro out of his head. How is he supposed to feel about this?
He takes a long drag of his cigarette and slowly exhales the smoke watching it swirl around in the night air and up to the light hanging off the side of the building. He flicks the end of the cigarette to drop off the ash to the ground; he probably should have brought out an ashtray or something to ash in because he's making quite the mess out here. He'll blow it all away later. No use tidying up now if he's just going to leave more mess.
Sanji stares at the smoldering tip of his cigarette while he thinks. He had said that he wouldn't leave Zoro, that's how all of this even started. That's why everyone knows about this, why everyone is here, because Sanji had gotten Zoro to tell him something about himself that he was too scared to let others know. Something that he was scared Sanji would run away from. Sanji said he wouldn't. But he wasn't expecting all of that. Maybe he should have run away.
No. He said he wouldn't. And he isn't. This is all over now; this isn't something Zoro will keep doing. He didn't want to keep doing it. But it's clearly something he's really fucking good at. Sanji shudders at the images brought up from that thought.
Witnessing Law knock Zoro unconscious really freaked Sanji out. Why did he do that? He hasn't had a chance to ask Law about that. He's not sure he even wants to know why. Seeing Zoro thrashing on the floor and snarling like that really makes Sanji wonder if there is more to this than Zoro had originally said.
He'd rather not think too much into right now. They do have a two-day drive back home and being afraid of his boyfriend in a small space is not going to be fun. He pushes those thoughts away and resolves to make sure Zoro is feeling ok physically rather than mentally right now. He can deal with that later. Sanji flicks away his last cigarette butt and stands. He heads back into the room to check on his moss head. He's been out for a while; Sanji hopes Law didn't hit his head too hard.
-:-
Zoro slowly comes to consciousness then quickly jolts up. Why was he out? He should be in the middle of slicing up organization lackeys. As his eye focuses on the room he's in he realizes this is not where he should be. He doesn't even know where he is, which is not an unfamiliar feeling so he's admittedly not too worried about the where, but why he's here.
He thinks back to the last thing he remembers. It's all a blur. He was running on such a high that it clouded his memory. And most likely it had clouded his rational thought if what he's remembering is correct. Fuck. It's all coming back now. Law had to knock him out. At least it was just Law there to witness that.
He can still feel the remnants of that high lingering. Zoro hopes he's near a bar. He really needs something after all of that. He shakes his head and makes to stand up and realizes that his right side really hurts. How did he not notice that earlier? He looks down at his shoulder and sees it covered in bandages. Putting a shirt on is not going to be pleasant. He also has a fair amount of blood staining his skin still. He should wash that off before he goes anywhere.
He sighs and pushes himself into a standing position before realizing that he can't see half of the room. The fuck? He waves his hand in front of the left side of his face then touches his left eye when he can't see his hand. There's padding and bandages over it. He hopes that isn't going to be a problem.
He vaguely remembers acquiring those injuries. He does remember who they're from though. At least he got her back for it, and about twenty times over. Ugh, he wants to vomit after thinking about what he did. He has no regrets for killing her, but what he did after was just plain wrong. He really needs that drink now.
He goes to the bathroom and looks at himself in the mirror. He looks ridiculous with the bandages covering just about half of his face. But there's nothing he can do about it right now so he shrugs and looks over the rest of himself. He's got some blood in his hair still along with the blood that is on his arms and torso. It looks like someone had tried to clean him off a little but was unable to get all of him clean. He wants to take a shower but thinks better of it since he has bandages on. He doesn't really want to take them off and see his eye yet. He grabs a towel and wets it to wipe the dried blood off. He sticks his head under the sink and tries to wash out the blood from his hair. He watches the brownish red colored water swirl down the drain as he scrubs at his head careful not to get any water on his bandaged face. He can feel the tender spot on the back of his head where Law had hit him. He grabs a new towel to rub on his head to dry his hair out a bit. This one has blood on it now too. He should probably burn those before he leaves, or take them with him.
He throws on some clothes, apparently he had been stripped, and heads towards the door. Right as he is about to open the door though it opens for him and Sanji pokes his head through.
"Moss head, you're up." The blonde looks to him with a surprised expression. He probably wasn't expecting Zoro to be walking around in here.
"Yeah."
"How you feeling? " Zoro can see Sanji looking at his bandaged shoulder and eye as he asks.
"I'm fine. I'm sure it looked worse than it feels." He shrugs his left side, as that shoulder doesn't have a hole through it. "Where are we?"
"Pit stop at a motel before we head home. Thought we could all use a rest, and we didn't know how long you'd be out for so… " Sanji hasn't come all the way in the room after opening the door. He's still standing a little awkwardly in the doorway and hardly looking at Zoro. Zoro doesn't think much of this since all he wants right now is to drown out the sick feeling he still has after killing so many people.
"Oh. Well, I'm up now. Please tell me there's a fucking bar nearby." He didn't realize how anxious he was, he had a shit ton of dopamine flood his brain and it still hasn't dispersed. He looks to the cook hopefully.
"Probably, I haven't really looked. You probably shouldn't be up though. I should go get Chopper. He wanted to look at your eye once you were awake." He turns to exit the room and possibly find the young doctor.
"Not right now, cook. He can do it later." Zoro places a hand on the blonde's arm to stop him from finding Chopper. Sanji flinches slightly at the contact and he brings his hand back to his side. Again, he's too distracted to look too much into the cook's actions.
"Zoro, he wants to make sure you can see, that's kind of important."
"Not right now." Zoro shakes his head and pushes past the blonde. He heads to where he can see streetlights lining the road. So it's still dark out. He has no idea what time it is. Hopefully something is open. Thankfully there's a bar that is right next to where they are staying. It looks to be part of the shitty little motel and still open. He settles himself in the back after paying for a whole bottle to take to the table with him. He's not wasting any time tonight.
There is hardly anyone in the bar, which is perfect, there's no one to bother him, no lines to get a new drink. He gets some weird looks for the bandage on his face, but he couldn't care less right now. He pours himself a few drinks from his bottle and sighs as he feels the burn from the alcohol as it slides down his throat. He never has to do this again. This is the last time. He feels a weight off his shoulders as he thinks about that. And then he quickly finishes the bottle to push other gruesome thoughts out of his mind.
He is grateful that this particular bar either doesn't care if Zoro drinks himself to death or can see that he just needs a lot to be drunk. It could also have a lot to do with the lack of many other customers and they want his money no matter how wrecked he gets himself. They haven't cut him off the entire time he's been there. He doesn't know how long that is though. He has taken full advantage of being served until he can't see. Though that's not too hard considering he can't see out of one eye anyways right now.
He looks down at the current drink he's working on. As drunk as he is, the alcohol still isn't numbing him like he wants. This happens sometimes, and he really hates it. He needs a distraction or something. This is usually when he would go find some girl to bring home and fuck her until he passed out, but he can't do that anymore now that he has Sanji.
Speaking of Sanji, that looks like him walking through the door. Perfect timing. He smiles as he watches his cook walk towards where he is sitting.
"Oh man, Zoro, look at you. You look like a fucking mess."
"But I'm your mess."
Sanji shakes his head and laughs a little at him. "Yeah, I guess you are. Come on, you've been here long enough." He reaches out a hand and Zoro grabs it and pulls Sanji to his lap and wraps his arms around his waist. "I should have seen that coming." Zoro leaves kisses on Sanji's neck and jaw while a hand inches closer to the blonde's crotch. "Zoro, quit. Don't do that in here. Let's go." Sanji pushes away Zoro's wandering hand and gets off his lap. He never has gotten that comfortable with being too affectionate towards each other in public. Though Zoro supposes a blatant hand to the crotch is a little forward in public. He pulls Zoro up with him and wraps an arm around his waist while throwing Zoro's uninjured arm around his shoulders. Zoro takes advantage of the opportunity this gives him to lick up the cook's neck. Sanji sighs. "I can't get you out of here fast enough can I? I must say I definitely prefer this drunk Zoro to angry mopey drunk Zoro."
"I don't mope."
"Whatever you say."
The whole walk back Zoro nosed and nipped at Sanji's ear. They're just outside their room now and Zoro can't help but think Sanji should have refrained from locking the door. Now that he has sex on his drunken mind he can't think of anything else. Once the door is open he pushes Sanji through it and immediately against the wall next to it. He presses his mouth to Sanji's before the cook even has the chance to fight him off. He can feel his pants getting tighter as he kisses Sanji at a fevered pace. He needs this right now. Not only does he just want his cook, but he also needs the stimulation to replace the other pleasure that he feels.
He wraps his arms around the blonde and lifts him up to bring him to the bed all while never breaking the kiss. Zoro positions himself on top of Sanji using his uninjured arm to hold himself above the blonde while the other hand is used to touch every part of the other man that he can reach. He moves to kiss and bite down Sanji's neck, finally freeing the cook's mouth.
"Zoro…" He can feels Sanji's hands on him. He's so focused on trying to get the blonde's shirt off while still being attached to his neck that he doesn't respond.
"Zoro. Hey, listen to me." Zoro figures that if the blonde wants to talk, he can talk while Zoro busies himself with ridding them of their clothing. He hums in response to let the blonde know that he heard him. He's having a hard time being patient with Sanji's stupid shirt and he starts rubbing himself against the cook's leg. "Zoro, you're not even listening to me are you? I told you to stop."
He hears that. He pulls his face away from Sanji's neck. "What? Why?"
"You're fucking wasted. This isn't enjoyable for me. And I'm not exactly in the mood right now…" Sanji looks away from the green haired man's face. All right yeah, Zoro is ridiculously drunk right now, but he can still perform. He's done this plenty of times and never really had an issue that he can remember and right now he's fully erect. He shifts his hips in attempt to show Sanji, but his leg that is between the blonde's legs can feel the obvious lack of excitement from the cook. He really isn't into this right now. "Zoro, just get off me." Sanji lightly pushes at Zoro's shoulders and Zoro complies by rolling to the side and onto the expanse of bed next to the cook.
He doesn't know what to say. The cook has never outright denied him like this. At least not since the first time he kissed him. And he's too drunk to really think of something appropriate so instead of a response he gets off the bed and heads to the door. He still needs something to override the last remaining euphoria and now that sex is out of the question he really needs to figure something out.
"Where are you going?"
"I don't know. To take a fucking walk." He gets out the door before he can hear if Sanji responds. Now what is he going to do? He adjusts himself in his pants as he walks, or more stumbles, in the direction of the bar. He still has a hard on. He doesn't know if he'll actually end up at the bar or not but he continues in that direction with Sanji's rejection weighing heavily on his mind.
-:-
Sanji sighs as he watches the door close on his moss head. He briefly wonders if he should go after him so he doesn't hurt himself, but the way he said his last comment makes his mind up for him. He seems like he'd rather be alone if Sanji is going to deny him. How can that man say he doesn't mope? He's doing it right now. He rolls his eyes at his stupid drunk of a boyfriend.
Sanji thought he would be perfectly fine having sex with the idiot, but once Zoro had laid him down on the bed all the sex drive had just gone out of him. Even if Zoro hadn't been as drunk as he is right now Sanji still wouldn't have wanted to continue. Being trapped under a man who he knows just killed a building full of people and mutilated one, a woman no less, was a little unnerving. It wasn't that long ago that the gruesome event transpired and Sanji is still unsure of how he feels about the entire thing. It was different before he actually saw what Zoro did. And he had only known about Zoro's extracurricular activities for a little over a week now. That isn't a whole lot of time to really let it sink in when so much else has been going on.
Sanji really didn't want to think about this until they were all home, but now that he's just had that encounter with Zoro he can't help it. All of the things Zoro had said concerning the topic comes back to Sanji. He recalls Zoro's anxiety attack that had driven him to run away and what he had said afterwards about the concerns he had that had escalated him to that point. How he feels that everyone should be afraid of him. He remembers how Zoro had refused to tell Sanji about any of this in fear of Sanji leaving and being afraid of him.
As he goes over all of this his mind brings up the first encounter he really had with Zoro about this. The night Zoro got himself insanely drunk and had a breakdown of sorts; the night that had actually sparked Sanji's feelings for the moss head when he kissed him the first time. The night when Zoro had told him how horrible he felt as a person, how he was drowning the euphoria… And the next morning when he confronted Zoro about what had happened.
Sanji gasps and feels the blood drain out of his face when he remembers the words Zoro had spoke to him when he asked why Zoro felt like such a horrible person: Because I enjoy it.
He hadn't really thought about it since then because out of context they hadn't made any sense, but now those words hold too much truth.
An image of bodies strewn across the floor covered in blood enters his mind, then the image of Law holding a blood soaked and protesting Zoro down. Sanji is having a hard time finding his breath.
Zoro likes it.
That's what he didn't want anyone to know. That's why he's so weird about the whole thing. If he had just been doing this for the money then that's a whole different situation, but Zoro actually enjoys it.
Admittedly, Sanji is actually a little afraid of Zoro now.
-:-
Sanji eventually falls asleep and wakes up to a knock on his door. The sun is streaming in through the thin curtains covering the windows. As he gets up to check the door, he realizes Zoro isn't in the room with him. He doesn't remember the moss head ever coming back; at least Sanji didn't wake up if he had.
Chopper is on the other side of the door asking for Zoro. He really wants to check on his injuries and he's eager to see how his eye is. They still aren't even sure if he can use it anymore.
"Sorry Chopper, I don't where he is. He left last night and I fell asleep afterwards, I'm not even sure if he came back."
"Where did he go?"
"I don't know. He was wasted and upset with me I think. He probably went back to that shit hole bar." Now that he thinks of it, Zoro could easily have gotten himself lost. A very intoxicated moss head with a worrisome lack of direction left to his own devices may be impossible to find. Shit does he have his phone with him?
"He was drinking? He shouldn't be drinking! He has a head injury! What if he has a bleed in his brain! Oh my god, we have to find him!" Chopper is frantic now. He probably should have left the drinking out, but the doctor is right, he really should not have been drinking. But no one is going to stop that idiot from doing anything once he wants to.
After Sanji dresses, the two head over to the bar to see if they know what happened to their moss creature last night, but on the way over the spot broken glass and a pair of boots near their van. They walk in that direction and find an unconscious Zoro clutching an empty bottle with another broken near his feet. He's propped up against the side of the van. Poor guy probably couldn't figure out where his room was so he fell asleep here.
Sanji nudges the man in the leg with the toe of his shoe. "Hey, shit head, get up." He gets no response, which isn't too surprising since that probably wouldn't wake him up if he hadn't been drinking. He shakes his shoulder with a hand and repeats his urges for the man to wake up. The only response that gets him is Zoro's head falling to the side from the force of his body shaking. Sanji sighs. Chopper starts rambling nervously that something could be wrong with him. He checks his breathing and heart rate just in case and deems the man ok in those areas. He opens his good eye to check his pupil response to make sure no brain damage occurred and seems happy with the results.
The rest of their group shows up to the van to pack their things away. Everyone gathers around Zoro asking what's wrong with him and if his condition has worsened or if he hadn't even woken up yet.
"He's just drunk. Or he was. We can't get him to wake up though." Sanji is a little nervous that the moss won't wake up, but Chopper seems to not be too worried anymore so he supposes that he isn't in too much danger.
"Shit. Well what's he doing out here?"
"I guess he couldn't find the room last night."
"That's too bad, usually when this happens I'll douse him in cold water and he wakes up. Just keep shaking him and talk loudly at him and he should come to enough to get him moved." Sanji can't believe that Ace has had to do this so many times that he actually knows how to deal with this so well. Everyone looks to Ace with an expression that mirrors what Sanji is thinking. "Should we move him back to his room or into the van?"
"We should probably be heading out we don't want to hang around here too long, let's get him to the van." Sanji had almost forgotten Law was with them. Heads turn to the dark haired man and nod.
Sanji continues staring at Zoro while Ace and Usopp shake him and try to coax him awake. After a bit he opens his eye and groans as the two keep talking to him to keep him awake. He's really out of it. Sanji comes back to his senses and grabs the empty bottle from Zoro's hand and pushes the broken glass away with his foot. They get the man on his feet and usher him into the back seat of the van.
They finish packing up their stuff and pile into the vehicle; Sanji climbs into the back and places himself next to the half conscious Zoro. He may be a little uneasy around him now, but he is currently about as threatening as a sack of flour and he might as well do what he can to take care of him. He does still love him after all.
Franky starts the van and heads back down the highway to begin their two-day journey home. Zoro eventually wakes up all the way when they stop for something to eat.
Chopper finally gets the chance to check out his injured eye. The three of them head out to the van to get Zoro's injury looked over so no one who is still eating has to see it since they're not sure what it looks like. Zoro protests the entire time, but he sits still long enough to get a diagnosis.
"Stop doing that!"
"I have to open your eye, Zoro! I can't see the extent of the damage if I don't."
"Do you have to do it like that?"
"How else am I supposed to do it? Your eye only opens one way. Although right now it actually looks like your eye lid is split in two…" Sanji feels a shiver down his spine at that thought. He positions himself so he doesn't have to see the injury. "If you don't want me to do this, then try opening it on your own."
There are a few moments of silence and a sigh from Zoro. "I can't."
"Hm. Alright. We'll see if that gets better after the wound itself heals. I'll have to open it myself then."
"Fuck! Chopper hurry up."
"Quit moving your head! Alright, now close your right eye."
"Then why did you just open it if you want me to close it?"
"Your right eye stupid! Your left is injured." Sanji hears the sound of flesh hitting flesh. Chopper must have hit Zoro for being a directionally challenged idiot.
"Oh."
"Ok, tell me what you can see."
Sanji peaks back around to see Chopper waving his hand in front of Zoro's face. "Uh, everything is kind of blurry. Are you moving? I can kind of see something moving I think…" Chopper hm's again. "What?"
"Well, your vision may improve, but it isn't guaranteed. It depends how deep the slice to your cornea is. It didn't seem to perforate your eye too deeply, so it won't have to be removed. I'll definitely have to keep checking on it. Can you try closing your eye?"
Zoro huffs. "That's as far it will go. So I'm probably not going to see out of it?"
Sanji can see Chopper place a hand on Zoro's face, most likely to close the lid all the way. "I can't say for sure right now, but I'm not going to get your hopes up. We'll know more in a few days when it's healed a little more. For now I want to keep it covered and closed."
Zoro nods and Chopper replaces the bandages to his eye.
They load back into the van once everyone joins them outside after finishing their meals.
Now that Zoro is awake, Sanji can feel the slight tension between them. They're sitting next to each other but only touching as much as necessary and they've hardly said a word to one another. Sanji doesn't want anything to seem awkward between them, at least not to the others, so he places a hand on Zoro's leg and peaks over to him. Zoro throws a weak smile back to him. Sanj isn't sure if Zoro is uncomfortable with Sanji because of what happened the previous night or if he feels off because he might be down a functioning eye. Sanji knows full well why he feels weird around the moss head though. "Hey, you ok?"
Zoro grunts a response but shifts so his leg is closer to Sanji. He goes to place his hand on top of Sanji's but the blonde moves his hand away slightly and Zoro pauses his movements and looks away with a dejected expression. Sanji really doesn't know how he feels towards Zoro right now, but he does still love him and he doesn't want him to feel like he's being totally rejected especially after last night. He grabs the other man's hand and squeezes it. Zoro looks back over to him with a saddened smile and shifts to lay his head on Sanji's shoulder.
They don't talk to one another for most of the drive back.