Sorry I know its short. I really didn't like how this turned out.

Tears kept cascading down my face as soon my knees became weak and I fell to the ground with my head in my hands sobbing. I heard Ryan's footsteps come right up to me and they stopped as I felt him hover over me. "I want daddy."

I tried my best to gain the strength to respond but I couldn't so I just shook my head. "You made daddy leave!! I hate you!!" tears began to fall at a pace I did not think was imaginable. His feet stomped up the stairs and into his room. I let out a heart wrenching sob and laid my body down on the cold floor as I started to shake while sobbing. I know I did this to myself but I don't know why. The truth is I love having Nick here and so does Ryan. This is why I can never find anyone. I think I have it so bad with a guy but really he is just so amazingly perfect. I love Nick and I want him to come back. I need his help. It wasn't his fault it was mine and I need to learn that. My sobs began to slowly die down as my body stopped shaking. I took deep breaths not moving an inch just lying on the floor. My four year old son hates me I didn't think he even knew what hate meant. How do I get him to love me again? It's obvious he wants to be with Nick more than he does me.

As I lay on the ground a phone started ringing from the coffee table in the living room. I crawled into the living room leaning my back against the couch before picking up Nick's black berry and answering it. "Hello"

"Miley is that you sweetie?" I recognized the voice as Denise, Nick's mom. "Yeah. Nick he had to go stop by his apartment and get something I guess he forgot his phone here."

"oh okay well I'll just call his apartment then. Bye Miley." she hung up and I sighed I knew she would find out that Nick and I are fighting. I looked up at the TV and criminal minds was still playing, Nick's favorite show. I decided to watch it so I climbed onto the couch and grabbed the blanket on the back spreading it over me. I started to shiver from the cold. I knew that I would be warm again when Nick came back. If Nick came back. How could I be so heartless?? Why was I so heartless??

Somewhere in between the second or third episode I fell asleep shivering and thinking of Nick. I dreamed of him. He was lying with me in a grassy field holding me close to his side. Ryan was running around with a bubble wand trailing behind him shouting "mommy daddy look!!" but nothing was tearing the gaze Nick and I were holding on each other. I smiled and Nick mirrored mine. He pulled me close as I finally broke the gaze and snuggled into his muscular chest. I craned my neck up to kiss him and just as I was about to I woke up to the noise of keys clattering and things moving on the table. I opened my eyes and Nick was grabbing his phone from the coffee table. He looked down at me and my eyes began to water. I whispered an 'I'm sorry' that I'm sure he didn't hear at all. I took a deep breath and sat up and he sat next to me. Ryan came running down the stairs and he jumped into Nick's arms. "Hey daddy can I go with you?"

Nick's face wrinkled in confusion. "Don't you wanna stay here with your mom?" Ryan shook his head and began talking. "No she's mean she made you leave and I hate her."

I hung my head low as the words slipped out of my son's mouth. I swore from the corner of my eye I saw Nick try to put an arm around me but he stopped at the last minute and brought his arm back. He turned his attention back to Ryan and looked at him. "Ryan buddy don't say that about her okay she didn't do anything I left on my own."

"but she yelled then you left."

"because I needed to go get some fresh air it's okay don't say that to your mom. Tell her you're sorry."

Ryan crossed his arms over his chest and looked at me. I looked back at him and tears started to well up in my eyes I watched him and tears started to pour down his face to. He crawled out of Nick's lap and into mine. I wrapped my arms around him and let my silent tears fall. "I'm sorry mommy."

"its okay sweetie"

"can I stay with you instead of going with him."

"yeah. I want you to stay with me."

He nodded his head against my neck and I felt the last of his tears hit my neck as mine began to stop also. I looked up at nick and saw him beaming down at Ryan and me. I pulled Ryan away from me so I could look at his face and I kissed his forehead. "Can you give mommy and daddy a minute alone please." he nodded his head and walked up the stairs and into his room probably to play and watch TV. I looked up at Nick. "What are we gonna do Nick?"

"I'm gonna go away for awhile."

I looked at his dumbfounded. "When you say awhile you mean...."

"I'll be back in no longer than a week and a half."

"where are you going?"

"I can't tell you. I'll be back mi I promise I just need time to think. Alone. I haven't done that since I got drafted." I nodded my head as Nick got up and walked up the stairs probably to say goodbye to Ryan. About five minutes later he walked down the stairs. And I stood up and we walked to the front door in silence.

When we made it to the front door and he turned to the side and looked at me. I left out a whimper that I didn't know I was holding in and he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my head. I let my tears soak in to the crook of his neck as I tightened my grip on around his waist. "I'm coming back I promise." I nodded against his neck unable to make out words.

He pulled away kissed my forehead an mumbled an I love you on my forehead before walking out the door leaving my alone in the doorway with a tear streaked face wonder what I was going to do with out him.

I didn't like the way I wrote this but then again I didn't wanna rewrite it so oh well!! So was it good or bad??
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