CHAPTER 14

"I think she'd be safer without us."

There was a long silence during which nobody moved, and everyone seemed to be holding their breath.

Sam stared at his older brother, not fully certain he'd heard correctly. He felt more than saw Anna's shoulder's slump beside him, and he knew her eyes were now downcast. For some reason, Sam was suddenly very irritated with his sibling.

"What are you talking about, Dean?" he tried not to sound exasperated and disbelieving, but that was just the way it came out. Dean wasn't looking at him anymore, and Sam couldn't understand why the sandy-haired hunter was looking so ashamed. He kept casting furtive glances over at Anna, but kept looking away again, as if he feared she might erupt at any moment. Sam continued to stare wide-eyed as Dean attempted to explain his reasoning.

"Sam," he began, sounding tired, "you said it yourself; we don't know what reason this demon could have for bringing her here. It could be some huge end-of-the-world deal, or it could be for some satanic kicks, but the point is that we don't know what the heck is going on, so we have to make sense of what we do know before we go running off and getting into huge-end-of-the-world trouble! Do you really think that if the demon had some crazy plan for Anna, that he would have left any of us alone for this long?" Dean was looking at Sam now, but it was Sam who now felt like averting his eyes. Dean continued, "Sammy, you know we are on this demon's immediate radar the second we set foot outside of this salt and holy water filled room! And if that demon hasn't realized what happened yet, then I don't think we should be the ones to let it in on the secret, 'cause you know we aren't ready to take this thing down. Not now, Sam."

Sam just stood there, feeling as though he'd been wrong when he thought he would have been dropping the bomb by telling Dean and Anna about Temeluchus.

The real bomb had been dropped just now.

Sam closed his eyes momentarily, wondering why the heck Dean's ingeniously common-sensical revelations had to pop up at just the worst times in the world. He opened them and faced his brother, forcing himself to look calm and determined.

"Your right," he said, not missing the look of utter surprise that Dean offered and the soft curse that came from the girl to his left side, "she shouldn't leave the room."

Sam had expected Dean to simply agree with his agreement, but instead, Dean suddenly looked frantic.

"But – I – Sam!" Dean seemed ridiculously upset at Sam's declaration, and the younger Winchester couldn't fathom any reason for that.

"What, Dean?!"

"You can't-! We-I-but…" Dean looked at a loss for a moment, then he seemed all too sure of himself, "We can't just leave her alone! What if I'm wrong! What if the demon does know she's here! What if -"

"Dean!" Sam was reaching maximum frustration at this point, "This is your idea!"

"I know, Sam, but my ideas don't always work out so great, ok!"

"Fine, then you stay here and I'll go by myself; that's the best way." It only made sense.

"No way man, I am not letting you out of my sight! You are going nowhere without me backing you up!"

"So, what? You're gonna go and I'm gonna stay?"

"I JUST SAID I'M NOT LETTING YOU OUT OF MY-"

"DEAN, we either bring her with us or leave her here! You can't be in two places at once man! Dude, I know I'm your little brother, but I can take care of myself-"

"I don't CARE, Sam! I don't care if you can take care of yourself or not! The point is that if I'm not with you, then I can't take care of you!"

"So you'll leave her unprotected because you're worried about me-?!"

"NO WAY! I WILL NOT LEAVE HER-"

"I DON'T SEE ANOTHER OPTION, DEAN!" the thunderous sound died down instantly, yet the tension in the small room only increased. Both brothers were breathing heavily, while Anna remained as she had throughout the shouting; silent and unmoving with her eyes lightly closed.

Dean was staring at her, and when he spoke again, the room's atmosphere was altered hugely, and suddenly it was filled not with tension but with fear and a pleading, desperate grasp at some form of hope.

"There has to be, Sam," Dean insisted, his voice a mere whisper as he gazed at the girl who wouldn't meet his eyes, "There just has to be."

They sat, or stood rather, in the quiet that surrounded them, knowing that every moment they wasted gave the demon another second's worth of opportunity to follow through with whatever he had planned.

"Well there isn't, Dean." Sam was surprised by the sound of her voice; it seemed like ages since Anna had said anything, and now she was gazing intently at his older brother with a determined expression on her face and a commanding tone in her words. Sam gathered that Dean was as taken aback as he was.

"There is no other option," Anna continued, and she was walking over to the older brother as she talked quietly but clearly, uninterrupted, "You were right; the demon knows where you are the moment you leave this room. All of us together is a dangerous move, and one of us alone is just as unsafe. But you know you can protect this place, Dean, and you know that you can give me the proper tools to protect myself while you go and do your stinkin' job!" Her voice was wavering now, as if she might cry, and Sam was horrified and slightly awed to see that Dean looked as if he might do the same; he seemed stricken at Anna's words, and Sam knew that he had misjudged just how far his brother had fallen, "You need to go with Sam! You need to find out what's going on and you know you guys work best together. And I will not allow either of you to put yourselves in unnecessary danger because the demon might this or might that! And I'm not saying I'm not scared, because Dean I've never been more scared in my life than I've been these last two days, but-" her voice hitched softly, and Sam had to force himself not to look away from the unchecked fear in Dean's expression and the shaking of Anna's shoulders, "but Dean, I'd rather be scared for myself than scared for you."

Sam was struggling not to correct her and say that Dean didn't need to go with him, that Dean didn't need to protect him, that it wasn't his job, that Anna didn't have to stay alone; but when Dean wrapped his arms around the girl and they buried their faces into each other's shoulders, Anna crying softly, and Dean trying not to join her, Sam knew that his words would fall on deaf ears.

He knew that Dean would listen to Anna and go with him to the library, leaving the girl in the motel room with whatever protection they could give her.

He just didn't know if it was the right thing to do.

Dean had voiced his opinion as a sort of last ditch thought.

It had all happened so fast. One minute he was trying to figure out how to get her into the back seat of the Impala, and the next Sam was saying that the demon had some dark, secret reason for Anna's presence, and they needed to run to the library to find out what that reason was, or else they might bring on pain and death or worse for all of them. Dean had just stood there, knowing that there was something distinctly wrong about it all.

And then it finally came to him. Sort of.

The onslaught of information and hypothesis finally caught up to him, and he tried so hard to make sense of it, even at the risk hurting Anna. To say that she'd be better off without them was crap and he knew it – he couldn't leave her behind, and there was no better protection than Dean Winchester. But the facts were swimming in his head and mixing with the fears, and suddenly the frantic musings he was voicing were pointing into a direction he knew he didn't want to go, because he feared it more than he was willing to admit; he could be putting Anna in danger.

When Sam started to answer back, he wished he hadn't spoken at all.

The thought of Sam going anywhere without him, especially after such a close call; it make him feel sick. Just the smallest chance that anything might go wrong, as was bound to happen with Sam anyway because that's just the way things go, and that Dean might not be there to save him – no.

Not an option.

But then, there weren't very many options.

And Dean was faced with a dilemma. Stay, and let his brother walk out alone, without a partner to back him up, without a helper to pick him up, without a brother to keep him up; or leave, and close the door on Anna without knowing what would or wouldn't happen, without a friend to hold her hand, without a Winchester to guard her life, without Dean...just without him.

Dean was sure he had never let fear completely consume him as much as he was letting it now. He could tell from the look on Sammy's face that his expression showed it. He was shaking and he knew it. He was trying very hard not to give in, but it was becoming increasingly hard to breath regularly, and something hot was burning behind his eyes and in the back of his throat. He could tell from the tears in Anna's eyes that she was feeling it too. He could tell by the way she held him as he pulled her close that she was just as scared as he was, and he knew that even if he would've decided to eventually stay and let Sam go alone, even if Sam ended up trying to convince him to remain here and protect Anna; he would go. He knew he would do what Anna was telling him to do and go with Sam, if only because she asked him to.

He just didn't know if it was the right thing to do.

Anna sat and watched, mostly.

The only time she got up was when the guys moved the bed to place an incredibly large devil's trap beneath it. After they replaced the bed, she got back on and stayed there, just like Sam told her to. She watched at they drew on the ceiling, on the walls, the doors, windows, and even the bottoms of her flip-flops. She listened as Sam recited in languages she couldn't understand and didn't recognize. He said he was blessing the room, making it holy ground. She watched as Dean poured more salt than she'd ever seen in one place around the room, around the bed, then around the bed one more time for good measure. They put glue around the windows in circles, then put more salt on the glue. They put some sort of dark powder in the corners, next to little bags full of Anna-could-only-guess-what. They sprayed the placed up and down with holy water, until the carpet squelched when walked on, and the furniture glistened with the wetness. Sam went into the bathroom with an ancient-looking book written in Latin and a bottle of holy water to do some more blessing while Dean gave her a gun and showed her how to use it.

"…and move this to take off the safety. I think it's best if you don't have it on at all." Dean was sitting beside her, his hands over hers, moving her fingers to the proper positions on the firearm.

Anna couldn't help but be reminded of their earlier driving lessons, "You already know how to pull the trigger, but aiming has to come first…"

Anna paid close attention. She kept her eyes open, her hands steady, and aim sure as she practiced with the unloaded gun. It was heavy in her hands, just like she remembered, but this time it didn't frighten her; it comforted her.

"Here…" She turned to see Dean pulling his cell phone from his pocket, checking to make sure it was charged. He handed it to her, and she held the gun in one hand, the phone in the other ad Dean spoke softly and she listened, drinking in the sound of his voice.

"Sam's number is the speed dial for every number. Press anything, and it'll call us, ok?"

"Okay."

"Don't turn it off. We'll call you as soon as we're on our way back. If you don't answer on the second ring, I'll hang up and try again. If I get voicemail, then I'll officially panic, and break every speed limit law in the country to get back here." She heard the attempt at humor, but she knew he wasn't smiling. She offered him a small grin though before she replied.

"You panic? That would be something to see."

"No it wouldn't. I'm seven and a half percent less good-looking when I'm panicking, and I'd hate for you to see me any less irresistible than I usually am; it might scare you." He was returning her small smile with a slight grin of his own.

"I don't scare that easy."

"I wish you would," the grin was gone, replaced by a look of utmost seriousness, and his voice was devoid of humor and sadly quiet, "I wish you were more scared than you are now, Anna. I wish you would beg me to stay with you. I wish you wouldn't be here alone without me. I wish you were half as scared to stay as I am to leave, because then you would demand I didn't go and leave you alone." Anna looked away and tried to hold back the tears. It was the first time Dean had actually said something that suggested he cared for her like that. She wasn't sure if she was willing to believe that he might feel for her as much as she did for him. It made it that much more frightening to think what the day might bring.

Some part of herself was chiding, telling her to suck it up and get over it; that it would only be a couple of hours, nothing could go wrong. But the bigger part of her had a bad feeling about the entire situation, and she knew in her heart as much as the Winchesters knew it that something could go wrong at any moment, and any of them could be dead before the next few hours ended. She managed to collect herself and meet Dean's worried gaze.

"I'll be fine, Dean. I'll see you soon enough." He took a breath, looking at her, and Anna sensed he was gathering the courage to say something.

"Here…" he finally breathed, reaching behind his head and untying the leather cord bearing the bronze colored amulet that hung around his neck, "put this on." Anna's eyes widened as she held the little face in her palm, feeling the worn cord and the smooth metal in the shape of a head. She recognized it from almost every dream she had ever had; Dean never seemed to take it off. She had no idea what it meant, but she knew that it meant more than just 'good luck'.

"I want you to be safe," Dean added, and it was the only explanation he offered. It was more than Anna could've asked for. She tied it around her neck, and she knew that if this amulet, this temporary gift of protection and token from Dean, if this didn't keep her safe, nothing would.

And she finally understood how very scared Dean was.

She determined that she was going to do her best to ease that fear.

"My turn," she said, and she smiled at the look of confusion on Dean's face. She pulled her own necklace from around her neck, the broken Schlage key twirling as it hung from the chain. She reached to place it around Dean's neck, and he ducked his head a bit for her. He was looking awed at the gift. Anna took his face in her hands and looked directly at him.

"I'll expect you to return it when you get back, okay?" she whispered.

They both knew it the real meaning behind her assurance. Anna was declaring that things would be fine, that there was no reason to fear, that the brothers would return unharmed and Anna would be in one piece, and they would be together again to do a repeat exchange.

Anna closed her eyes as Dean pulled her close into his strong embrace, and she told herself that she had no reason to worry; nothing bad was going to happen.

She didn't know how wrong she was.