Chapter 14

Brennan remained on the forensic platform all afternoon, carefully going over the bones of the first victim. Clark stayed with her and by 6:00 they found what they were looking for.

"Here," Brennan said, passing one of the rib bones over to Clark. "What do you see?"

He looked it over carefully under the large magnifying glass and then looked back at her. "Two small slashes on the inside of the bone. Stabbing?"

Brennan nodded as she picked up another rib bone. "There are more marks here."

"This wasn't a knife though. The marks seem to have been formed by a dull, rather than sharp, instrument."

She nodded. "I concur. Please check with Hodgins to see if any tools or weapons were brought in with the evidence and see if you can match anything to the markings on the bone. Continue to make notes on any other marks you find and let me know when I can examine the bones of the second victim."

Brennan stripped off her gloves and walked to her office. While staying busy had helped, she couldn't seem to stop thinking about Booth. All of the images from the day ran through her head – Booth standing in her kitchen as they talked about where they would spend their nights, Booth at the crime scene looking embarrassed by her indiscreetness, Booth with Tessa at the diner, and finally Booth standing on the forensic platform looking hurt and later angry as he walked out without saying goodbye. She knew that Angela was right and she was jealous – she might not always understand feelings, but she recognized that one. She had felt jealousy before, as she had told Booth that evening in his apartment, but she had never before felt it in a relationship. She had always gone into relationships with the knowledge that however temporarily satisfying they might be, they were still temporary. As long as she held onto that belief she couldn't be hurt or disappointed when they eventually ran their course.

But for the first time in her life Brennan was tempted to believe in something more real and lasting. She wanted to hang onto Booth, to this new relationship, so tightly that he couldn't get away even if he wanted to. That need scared her, because if she couldn't get it under control she was afraid it would destroy the rational existence that had saved her when her world fell apart all those years ago. She had learned the hard way to only believe in those things that were tangible, held together by the steel strands of logic and rationality. Somewhere along the way Booth had become one of those tangible things. She had come to rely on his presence in her life as a friend and partner. She supposed it was inevitable that she would eventually want more from him but she had buried that desire after the Epps case. He had drawn a line then and she had respected his choice to keep things on a professional footing. But at some point the line had blurred around the edges, becoming less distinct with each case, each Friday night they spent together, each lunch at the diner. She had pushed them over the edge last night and now that line was a thing of the past. It had represented a safety net in some ways.

While Booth had proven that he was reliable in her life as a friend and partner, this new phase was a vast wasteland of overwhelming uncertainty. Brennan knew she could be difficult in a relationship. Moving in with Pete had ended up being a disaster and he had blamed her inability to connect to people. Booth had proven to be understanding about a lot of things but he was used to dating normal women – women more like Angela, who navigated the dating waters like a seasoned sailor. She worried that eventually she would say or do something that would end this new path they were on. And once this path had been abandoned, could they find their way back to what they had been before? If they couldn't, she was afraid of the feeling of loss that would accompany the eventual fallout. If nothing else, seeing him with Tessa had made her realize that her own happiness had become hopelessly entangled with his presence in her life.

She pulled a folder from her desk drawer and looked over a recent request from one of her colleagues. Dr. Brandon had asked her to spend four weeks with his archaeological dig in South America. He wanted her expertise on several sets of remains that had been uncovered at an ancient burial site and while the work was interesting, she had decided last week to turn down the travel request. Now she wondered if she should reconsider.

Booth stood in the doorway of Brennan's office and watched her as she looked over information in a folder she had removed from her desk. She had that little-girl-lost look on her face, the one she got when she was thinking about certain things like her family or her time spent in the foster system. That look always brought his protective instincts scrambling to the surface and he felt some of his anger fading. He knew that Caroline was correct – Brennan was a genius when it came to science and bones, but normal people interactions and relationships were difficult for her to grasp. He knew that if she was feeling even a fraction of what he'd been feeling all day, she was probably scared and confused. As much as he wanted to assure her that everything would be fine, if this new relationship between them had any chance of working she had to be willing to meet him halfway. If she couldn't do that, couldn't trust him to be there to help her work through the things that scared her, he really saw no way forward for them.

Brennan heard a knock at her open door and looked up to see Booth standing there holding another takeout bag. "I figured you might be working late so I brought you dinner," he said as he walked into her office.

She cleared her throat and willed her heart rate to slow down. The nerves she had been holding back all afternoon began to creep forward again and she put the still open folder down on her desk. "Thank you."

Booth nodded as he sat down across from her. He glanced down at the folder she had been looking at and felt something cold grip his chest. It was a field work request and it couldn't have come at a worse time as far as he was concerned. "Going somewhere?" He kept his tone even although the temptation to shout at her was strong.

She looked down at the folder and then back at him. "I'm not sure yet. I was going to turn it down but now I'm thinking it over again."

Booth considered his next words carefully. He didn't want to push too hard but he couldn't let her think it was okay with him if she ran. "I think before you make that decision we should talk about what happened today."

"I think we've found cause of death for the first victim," Brennan said suddenly, picking up a file and giving it to Booth. "Clark is still working, but the most likely cause at the moment is stabbing from some sort of blunt edged instrument."

Booth looked at her silently for a moment. "Ok. Let me know when you match it to a weapon. I got a hit on Angela's sketch and we should have DNA confirmation by tomorrow."

"I'll likely be here very late tonight so you don't have to wait for me. I can sleep on the couch or take a cab home later," Brennan said as she looked back down at her desk.

"So that's it then? You're not going to talk to me at all about what happened earlier?"

Brennan fought to keep her hands steady as she began to look through the folders on her desk. "I just need some time to think, Booth."

Booth thought more time to think was the last thing she needed. Thinking too much would have her on a plane to South America and he didn't think he could deal with that. "Bones, I know you always say you're the brain person and I'm the heart person, but this time I'm asking you to use your heart and think about how you're feeling for once. I want to make this work, but if you refuse to talk to me and decide to run then you're effectively ending it." He stood up and walked out, leaving Brennan feeling more confused than ever.