John hadn't felt his heart racing like this since the nightmares he had prior to his treatment.
"I'm not ready! I'm not ready!"
To add insult to injury Chris began to speak as the first of the graves burst open. He was talking like doing the starting lineup for a hockey game.
"From the state where everything is big, living proof the interbreeding is a really bad idea! Leatherface!"
The chainsaw wielding maniac burst out of the first grave spitting out a stream of gibberish.
"From Haddonfield Illinois, the bogeyman that just keeps going! Michael Myers!"
Michael jumped out of his grave silent as ever.
"From Woodsboro California, the serial killer of the 90's who is never the same person twice! Ghostface!"
"Hello everyone…What's your favorite scary movie?"
"Don't answer that… It's a trick question." whispered Gwen.
"From Elm Street, Springwood Ohio, the master of nightmares! Freddy Krueger!"
"You are all my children now!"
"And now the highest scoring psycho of all time! All the way from Camp Crystal Lake, the King of Killers himself! Jason Voorhees!"
Jason broke out of his grave wielding his machete.
"You've got to be kidding me…"
"This can't be real!"
"It isn't… They're just… game sprites, right?" asked Cody.
"They look real enough to me."
"Guys, I've seen enough horror movies to know there is only one thing to do in a situation like this." said Duncan.
"What?"
"RUN LIKE YOU'VE NEVER RAN BEFORE!"
Just like that the castaways were off, all except for DJ who stood frozen in fear.
"Hello? Anyone in there?" asked Ghostface waving his hand in front of his face "I don't believe it; he's out like a blown fuse."
"That's just sad… Leatherface, take care of him."
Leatherface wasted no time.
"Player DJ: Game over!"
"Alright boys… Let's go get 'em." said Freddy.
"This is unbelievable! How the hell did Chris get permission to use all those iconic serial killers for this game?" asked Courtney.
Confessional Cabin: Chris
"It cost the producers an arm and a leg, but you've got to spend money to make money. Besides, this is awesome!"
"Remember the rules of running in a horror movie!" said Harold "You need to be quick, don't fall down, don't look back, and don't scream because you're just wasting your breath!"
"I think you're wasting your breath right now by talking."
"Hurry up they're gaining on us!"
"Bridgett, I told you not to look back!"
The castaways wouldn't stop running until their legs gave out, but the gang of killers was right on their tail.
"The rules of horror movies dictate that blonde girls never make it." said Ghostface.
"That's not quite true." said Freddy "I can remember at least two occasions where my fun was spoiled by some blonde bitches."
"Whatever, let's kill them anyway."
"Sounds good to me… Jason?"
Most of the castaways knew how strong Jason was, so it came as no surprise to them when his machete came flying through the air toward Bridgett.
"NO!"
"GEOFF!"
Jumped in front of Bridgett and the machete went right through his chest, but before his body hit the ground it disappeared.
"Player Geoff: Game over!"
"Geoff! GEOFF!"
Suddenly there was a bright flash of light, when it faded none of the castaways could move, and fortunately for them the killers weren't moving either.
"What the heck? What's going on?"
Then they heard Chef's voice.
"Please remain calm, the game has been paused. Chris had to use the can and he doesn't want to miss anything."
"You bastards!" yelled Bridgett "You killed him! You killed him!"
"Calm down, he's not dead. His mind has just been sent to the Realm of Losers. When the game is over he'll be just fine. Didn't Chris already tell you that?"
"I just saw my boyfriend take a machete to the chest, excuse me if I'm a little outraged!"
"Yeah, it seemed so real."
"It's all virtual, but your mind makes it real…" thought John "It seems so simple… Just stop believing in these psychos and they disappear… And I will stop being afraid of them… right after I stop breathing."
"Sorry about the delay." said Chris at last "The game will resume in five… four… three… two…"
As soon as they could feel their legs again the castaways resumed running. Knowing the intentions of the psychos behind her Bridgett raced to the front, she was running so fast she didn't notice the tripwire in front of her.
BANG!
"OH MY GOD!"
Bridgett's body fell to the ground and disappeared.
"Player Bridgett: Game over!"
"Shotgun booby traps, just like in Saw!" said Duncan.
"So it's pick your poison. Booby traps or fictional serial killers."
"I don't know about you guys, but I'll take my chances with booby traps." said Cody.
"I second that."
"I third and fourth it!" said Sierra.
They kept running down the dark tunnel. They didn't give themselves a single moment to stop for breath, they forced themselves to run. The air had been cold since they first entered the graveyard, so John was very surprised when he felt a wave of heat surge through his legs from the ground.
"JUMP!"
Most of the castaways jumped before the ground beneath them opened into a pit of lava, but one of them wasn't so lucky.
"TYLER!"
The ground closed as Tyler's body disappeared.
"Player Tyler: Game over!
"Tyler!"
"Lindsay, if you want to survive a horror movie then you can't waste time grieving the dead." said Harold.
"He's dead?"
"He's not dead Lindsay, he's just in the realm of losers, but he'd want you to go on and win the million dollars." said Beth.
"Okay…"
They found themselves in a big room with a door; unfortunately they couldn't get it open.
"Perfect… Five killers on our tail and no way out. Perfect ending for a horror movie." said Duncan.
Courtney didn't watch a lot of horror movies, which was too bad because right now she was pretty much in one.
"What do we do? We're going to die! We're going to die!"
"No we're not!" said Gwen "Jigsaw always gives his victims a chance to save themselves, which means there's a way out of this."
"We're not dealing with Jigsaw, we're dealing with Chris Mclean." said Heather.
"That doesn't mean we should just lie down and die!" said Leshawna.
"She's right! If you want to survive a horror movie than there is one very important rule you need to follow in this situation." said Harold "When there is nowhere left to run and nowhere left to hide, you need to rise to the occasion!"
"Well then I hope we're all ready to rise… Because here they come now!"
Leatherface came running down the tunnel with his chainsaw in the air.
"You'd think eventually he'd run out of gas."
Leatherface may have been one of the scariest horror icons of all time, but Gwen knew he was far from being the smartest.
"Hey Leatherface! Look up!"
Much to everyone's surprise Leatherface stopped in his tracks and looked up at the ceiling.
"Now look down."
The pit trap opened up beneath Leatherface's feet and he fell into the lava.
"One down." said Gwen.
"What about the other four?"
"One thing at a time."
Ghostface came running down the tunnel and jumped over the pit.
"So… Who wants to play?"
"Wait a minute… What am I afraid off?" thought Duncan "Ghostface isn't a juggernaut like Michael or Jason. He's just a pussy in a mask, that's why he's never the same person twice!"
Duncan pulled out his own knife and stood to face the masked freak.
"Do you know how to use that thing?" he asked.
"Knife goes in, your guts come out." replied Ghostface.
"This is going to be easier than I thought."
"Please don't do anything stupid…" said Courtney.
"It almost sounds like you're worried about him." joked Gwen.
"Shut up."
For a moment Duncan and Ghostface just circled each other, and then Ghostface charged, Duncan however leapt to the side and nailed him down the back.
"Looks like first blood is mine."
"You filthy delinquent!"
"Pot this is kettle, come in over… What makes you think you'll ever be as good as the others? Jason and Michael take bullets all the time and just keep going. None of the people who wear your mask can even survive a single bullet to the head. You're not a horror movie killer, you're just a pussy!"
"Who are you calling names?"
Ghostface charged angrily at Duncan again, but this time Duncan kicked the knife out of his hand and slashed him across the chest.
"You… smug… son of a bitch… I'LL KILL YOU!"
Despite the blood and the pain Ghostface charged at Duncan again, but he ran right into the wall. While he was distracted Duncan grabbed the knife the masked killer's own knife. When Ghostface charged at him again Duncan took both knifes and jammed them into his head. There was blood everywhere as the body fell to the floor.
"Well that was easy… Kind of messy though… Good thing this wasn't real life, otherwise I'd be back in the slammer before you can say homicide."
"I'm not sure that would happen, technically what you did was in self defense."
"Really? And would you be the one defending my case Princess?"
"Not even if your life depended on it."
"In my court no defense would save you."
The castaways turned around to see that Freddy, Michael, and Jason had all entered the room.
"Why don't we have a trial right here and now?" asked Freddy "It's quick because I am the lawyers, the judge, the jury, and the executioner. You see I like to get the trial over with quickly, because it's the sentence where all the real fun is."
"I don't recognize the authority of this court." said Courtney.
"No one cares what a convicted criminal thinks."
"I'm not convicted until you hold trial and find me guilty."
"Okay then, let's take a vote. Who thinks they're guilty?"
Suddenly Freddy had twelve fingers and raised all of them.
"It's unanimous; I herby sentence you all to die very painful deaths."
Taking out Ghostface was one thing, but the three monstrosities facing the campers were known for their ability to take a beating.
Confessional Cabin: Owen
"To say I was scared would be an understatement. I've seen enough horror movies to know that anyone who loses their virginity ends up dead 99.99% of the time. But Izzy got mad at me after what happened back in season one, and I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice."
"You want a piece of me? Come and get it!" said Owen.
Freddy laughed.
"Why the rush? From the looks of you there's going to be enough for everyone."
"Time to unleash my wicked skills…"
Harold pulled out some shuriken and threw them at Michael, but the Halloween stalker just pulled them out without even grunting.
"Okay then… How about this!"
Harold pulled out his nunchakus, but they broke when he smacked Michael in the head with them.
Confessional Cabin: Harold
"I don't know why I thought that would work."
Confessional Cabin: John
"That's when it came to me… I knew that fighting those lunatics would essentially be suicidal, but if the others could stand up to them then so could I."
"Hey Michael! Pick on someone your own size!"
Michael turned and advanced toward John with his knife, so John pulled out his swords.
"My blades are bigger."
That's when Jason came over and shattered both of John's swords with one swing of his machete.
"Well shit."
Meanwhile Izzy was going head to toe with Freddy.
"You know the rules girl… Anyone who has lost their virginity doesn't stand a chance in horror movies."
"Tell that to Alice Johnson. She lost her virginity and still beat you."
"I'm gonna make this slow and painful…"
Freddy slashed about with his glove, but Izzy was too fast for him.
"Ha-ha! Up high! Down low! Too slow!"
Izzy hit Freddy with a barrage of punches and kicks, but the master of nightmares just laughed it off.
"Well let's see how funny you think this feels… Owen, dodgeball!"
Owen picked up a huge rock from the ground and threw it with all his might; it knocked Freddy's head clean off his shoulders.
"Booyah! Who's the man?"
"Just for that, I going to chop you up and eat you for dinner!" said Freddy.
"Ah! The head lives!" screamed Beth.
Freddy's body walked over, picked up his head, and put it back on.
"I thought Freddy could only do things like that in his nightmare world!"
"Technically we are asleep."
"Then someone please wake me up!" said Beth.
"Sorry kiddies, but the program doesn't allow you to voluntarily drop out of the game, you're in for the duration."
John continued to keep Jason and Michael busy while Izzy and Owen tried to deal with Freddy. So far they had managed to keep it together, but they couldn't do this forever.
"There has to be a way out of this."
"What about that?"
They hadn't noticed it when the first ran in, but there was a box with a big question mark on it at the top of a tall stone column.
"That looks like a question block from Super Mario!" said Cody "Maybe there's something inside that we can use!"
"I'll get it!"
"Take your time, no hurry here." said John as he dodged another strike from Jason's machete.
Gwen climbed to the top of the stone column, but when she reached for the block she saw that there was something written on it as well as several buttons.
Which of the five horror icons you are currently fighting is the only one to have appeared in a video game for the NES?
Think hard, you only get one shot at this.
"What are you waiting for? What's in the box?"
"I can't get it open! We need to answer a question first!"
"What's the question?"
"Which of the five killers we're fighting was in a video game for the NES?"
"I know that one!" exclaimed Cody "It's Jason!"
"Are you sure? It says we only have one chance to get it right!"
"It's Jason, trust me!"
Gwen pressed the Jason button, and the box opened.
"There's nothing in here but a five-pointed star with two beady eyes!"
"Gwen! It's a Super Star from the Mario games! If you touch it you'll become temporarily invulnerable and will be able to kill anything with a single touch!"
"Really?"
"Yes! Really!"
"Sounds good to me…"
Gwen touched the star and immediately felt the effects.
"Whoa… I FEEL INCREDIBLE!"
Gwen jumped down from the column and landed before Jason, Michael, and Freddy. There was a rainbow of sparks dancing from her body.
"Uh-oh…" said Freddy.
"Okay… So who's first?"
Michael charged at Gwen, but when he got too close she just punched him and he disintegrated.
"Wow!"
"No way!"
"After all the trouble they had trying to kill him in the movies, she does it in one blow!" exclaimed Duncan.
"This bitch is mine!"
Freddy came at Gwen, but it had the same result.
"Okay Jason, now you get yours."
Jason wasn't exactly Stephen Hawking, but he wasn't stupid. He tried to keep his distance from Gwen and slash with his machete, but Gwen blocked it with the side of her hand and it shattered. Then she took out Jason with a single punch.
"Holy crap!"
The sparks faded. Gwen's invulnerability may have only been temporary, but it was fun while it lasted.
"How was that?" she asked.
"Not bad… not bad at all." said Leshawna.
"Not bad for a girl."
"Hey! That was pretty good for Mario himself!"
"How many did we lose?"
"We lost DJ, Geoff, Bridgett, and Tyler. That's four." said Sierra.
"And we lost Noah to those fireballs, so it's five all together."
The huge door flung open. The tunnel was blocked by another Billy puppet sitting in a chair.
"Congratulations… The thirteen of you have survived and in doing so learned a valuable lesson… The only way to be rid of fear is to face it… Death is inevitable, but you can't let it stop you from living."
"Wait… What's that?"
The Billy puppet was holding an envelope in hand. But what really surprised everyone was that it had Heather's name on it.
"I've seen enough Saw movies to know that it's probably important, whatever it is. You better open it Heather."
Confessional Cabin: Courtney
"Why would Chris give clues to Heather? If she wins two seasons in a row then I doubt that will do wonders for the show's ratings, which I know is all he cares about."
Heather opened the envelope. The others were expecting a key or something, but the only thing inside was a message.
Remember, it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.
"What the hell does that mean?"
(To be continued)