Disclaimers: I don't own any characters in this fanfic.

Warnings: Extreme Eeyoreness! (depressing atmosphere)

Happy New Year Guys! Haha we survived 2012! Well, obviously I didn't get this up for a Christmas present, so a New Year's present will have to be good enough.

Okay, so for reasons that will become immediately apparent, I have come to refer to this chapter as my Doom and Gloom chapter. No bunnies or sunshine here I'm afraid…sorry about that. But, I felt that his chapter was kinda necessary considering the bomb shell I dropped on you in the last chapter. I sincerely hope you guys are still wanting to read this story…I said I was sorry. :(

Anyways, as always, thank you for being patient with my snailish updating, now on with the show. I present CHAPTER 13!

Chapter 13

"He's gone Zero. Inuyasha's gone, there's nothing any of us can do now."

"Shut up! Just…just shut the hell up!" Zero cried. When Inuyasha's body still didn't accept his blood, Zero knew he was beaten. He tightened his grip around Inuyasha, trying to get as close to his lover as physically possible. He leaned forward, so their foreheads were touching; letting his tears mingle with the blood on Inuyasha's face. All he could do was cling to the body in his arms…his comrade…his best friend…his lover…Inuyasha.

Water fell heavily from the sky as it had been doing since the early hours of the morning; as if the heavens themselves wept with the large procession of mourners surrounding several newly cut tombstones. The members were all dressed in black, some holding umbrellas, some simply letting the rain soak into their clothing.

Zero Kiryu stood in the front row of the group, staring at the names carved into the stones. Oxygen was becoming harder and harder to pull into his lungs. There was no way he could possibly describe the loss he felt when he looked at the headstones of two graves in particular. They read in identical, clear cut font,

~Inuyasha Shikon~

October 16, 1993 - November 2-2012

Guardian Division

Died defending his comrades

And Cross Academy

He will forever remain in our hearts

~Ichiru Kiryu~

April 8, 1994 - November 2, 2012

Commander of Squad 7

Died defending his comrades

And Cross Academy

He will forever remain in our hearts

He didn't know. No one had told him until it was too late. His brother had been killed in battle, and he was one of the last people to know. Ichiru was all the family he had left in this world…and now he was gone too. The word alone had plagued his existence for as long as he could remember…but it was only the fear that he someday would be. Now the word was a perfect description of Zero.

Ichiru had been attacked from behind when the thickness of the mist was at its peak. They hadn't even found his body till after Naraku had shown his face and the mist began to fade…by then it was too late to save him…just like he was too late to save Inuyasha. In one night, the two most important people in his life were taken from him.

The pouring rain soaked the loosened dirt before the mourners, making the scene muddy and even more depressing than it already was. A pastor from a local church had agreed to do the ceremony upon Kaien's request. Zero tried to listen as the millennia old words were recited before the graves…however, the turmoil in his mind and the pain in his heart would not rest for the few minutes it would take to listen to the service. He felt a warm hand slide into his own as it hung at his side. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a brief glance of Yuki standing beside him, holding his hand, and clutching his arm with her other unoccupied hand. He could smell the scent of fresh tears streaming down her cheeks, and absentmindedly tightened his hand around hers. Her presence helped to calm his mind a little.

There had been another funeral earlier on in the day for all of the Night Class, and hunters who had been killed during the battle. Surprisingly the number of casualties had been fairly low; eighteen in total, ten hunters and eight students. Everyone grieved for the ones lost, but was relieved that there were not more who were killed.

This funeral now, was solely for the hunters that had been killed. The Hunter's Association, Kaien and Yuki Cross, and Kaname Kuran with his entourage were the only ones present for this particular ceremony. Axel and Demyx stood a little behind Zero and Yuki. Demyx's hand was grasped firmly in Axel's, as silent tears fell from the blond hunter's eyes. Axel wasn't much of a crier. As far as he knew, nobodies were incapable of feeling sorrow, so it stood to reason that he never had a reason to cry. He knew that was complete bullshit…what with the state Demyx was currently in, but…as much as he mourned and missed his comrades, he couldn't bring himself to cry. He needed to stay strong, for his lover…and for Zero too.

After the preacher had said what he had come to say for the ceremony, he asked if anyone would like to say a few words for any of the departed. At first, there was no movement among the crowd, but after a few awkward seconds, Demyx let go of Axel's hand, and slowly walked to stand in front of the gathered crowd.

"I didn't really know all of these hunters very well, but what little I did know of them, was enough to make me admire their intelligence, bravery, and willingness to help people. In all the years they were in the association, I don't recall a single time I ever heard any of them complain. They were there because they wanted to help keep people safe… I'll never forget them." Demyx paused to collect himself before continuing.

"I've known Inuyasha for many years now. He was my comrade, advisor, and at times my protector…but, most of all, he was my friend. I knew that no matter what, I could always count on him. I could always trust him." He choked out a few genuine laughs as his mind took him back to a buried memory.

"I remember this one mission we were all on. It was on this moonless night…everything was pitch black, I mean you couldn't see anything. Not even your own hand in front of your face, much less the ground you were walking on.

The dark didn't stop Inuyasha though. He had eyes like a hound dog. Anyways, I tripped on a rock, and the next thing I knew, I was hanging off the edge of this cliff. I called for help, and a few seconds later, I could hear Inuyasha laughing over me…ha, my misfortunes always did seem to be humorous to him. At first I thought he was going to pull me up, but he didn't. He bent forward, and he asked me, 'Do you trust me?' I replied eagerly, that of course I did. He laughed again, then said, 'Alright, if you trust me…let go.' Needless to say I thought he was crazy. But eventually, I finally just…let go. The cliff turned out to be only about seven feet high. I was only about two feet off the ground. He knew that the whole time, he just wanted me to trust him and let go. He didn't leave me then…and even though it hurts, I know he hasn't really left us now. Goodbye Inuyasha, you were one of the best friends a man could have."

After Demyx, a few others went up and said their goodbyes as well. Zero however, couldn't. He didn't want to say his goodbyes, because that would be admitting defeat. He wasn't ready to do that yet. Finally, Kaien stepped forward. In his hands were about a dozen white roses. He didn't bother to wipe at the wet tracks that had formed on his cheeks as he began speaking.

"What happened was indeed a very tragic event. We will never be able to honor them, and thank them, for what they have done for their fellow hunters, and for this school properly; but, we mustn't let ourselves be downcast. This goodbye is not forever. In fact, they will never really leave us. Regardless of what division they were in, they were all guardians of this school. Their memories will forever be engraved within the bricks of Cross Academy. But more importantly, they will forever remain within all of us; in our hearts. There is no more pain where they are. The only pain left is the ache we feel at their loss. In time, I know we will heal from this. From their sacrifice, something new and beautiful will be born." When he was finished speaking, Kaien placed one white rose on each grave, whispering a few unheard words to the individual buried there.

Turning back to join the crowd, he stopped for a few fleeting seconds, placing a gentle hand on Zero's soaked shoulder, then went to stand beside Yagari.

Tragedy happens…and then you move on. It was just another part of life. So why did Zero feel so deprived of his own life though he was still breathing?

He wouldn't say that the smell of horse was pleasing to his nasal senses, or that laying on a pile of hay was extremely comfortable, because neither was especially true. Yet, for some reason, he found himself in the stables more often than not.

Zero could remember spending hours in the hayloft or the stalls, with no one but an old white mare named Lily for company, when he had first started struggling with his bloodlust. It had been a sort of sanctuary for him, a place he felt safe and comforted.

He hadn't had a reason to seek that kind of comfort in a long time. Not since he had graduated from Cross Academy and started working full time as a guardian hunter.

Today though…he needed to feel something other than grief…he thought that maybe returning to his childhood safe-haven could help calm his aching heart and mind.

However, the longer he sat there, the more he realized that it wasn't working the way he had hoped. All the quiet stall gave him was time to think. Thinking was the one thing he didn't want to do. Thinking led to emotions; emotions made the heart in his chest lurch and ach, made his eyes sting. Memories of faces and whispered words…future plans and unfulfilled promises spun round and round in his tortured mind.

His feet moved on their own accord. He didn't know where he was going and if he were completely honest, he didn't really care. He continued to place one foot in front of the other, letting them lead him to wherever they desired. He forced his mind to concentrate on the wet and muddy path under him and the cold rain against his freezing body.

He legs finally stopped moving. He guessed that he had fallen asleep for a little while; it was darker now than it was when he had arrived.

He allowed his eyes to roam around the old classroom within Cross Academy. Even though the establishment was technically a High School, the classrooms were built more like the lecture halls you would find in a large university. Several rows of desks, each row a little lower than the last, all leading down to an open area where the teacher's desk and equipment could be found. Behind the desk were two large chalkboards, both covered with white streaks were an attempt at erasing had been made. He found it odd that his feet had chosen to lead him to this room of all places. Then again, maybe it wasn't so odd. He had had quite a few late night discussions with Yagari in this very room. Come to think of it, he was always sitting in this very seat too. Perhaps this is what is referred to as muscle memory or something. His body had done it so many times before that it had become second nature now? Whatever the case, his feet had very poor taste in locations. Classrooms were designed for a good learning environment; learning meant thinking…thinking was not an option. He had thought his feet had understood that…how presumptuous of him, huh? Even knowing this, for some reason, he couldn't force himself to move. The only movement he seemed to be able to make, was that of his eyeballs.

The past few days had been…hard to say the least. The first day or two after the battle, he couldn't even seem to get out of bed. All he could do was lay there, and cry, and think, and sleep, and cry some more. Most everyone he knew came to visit him and offer their condolences. Axel, Demyx, and Yuki had all come by and ended up staying for hours, just to keep him company. In theory it was a nice gesture, but at the time, he really just wanted to be alone so he could suffer in peace.

All that registered in his mind was how alone he had become. Honestly, the whole experience had brought on a dreadful feeling of déjà vu. His mind took him back to that night so many years ago, when he had watched a bloodsucker slaughter his mother and father right in front of him. Once again he felt the horrid prick of those fangs entering his skin, forcing him to be something he never wanted to be. A monster just like the one who had taken everything from him. Emotions that he had tried to burry deep within his subconscious sprang forth, adding more pain to his already brutalized heart. Now, after finally finding love again, a monster had once again robbed him of his happiness. Death had once again ripped his loved ones from him, and left him alive to suffer without them. How much pain and loss can a single soul take before it's too much? Anyone would have though he had long passed the limit…yet he was still breathing.

He hadn't sensed the other being in the room until he was sitting right next to him. He didn't acknowledge Kaname's presence…didn't see any reason to do so. Kaname didn't speak, or touch him, just sat next to him in silence. After a few minutes, Zero allowed himself to forget he was even there, and his mind began to wander once again.

Countless people had told him not to dwell on the negative stuff, but he didn't understand how that was supposed to be possible for him right now. He was so hurt and angry about everything that had happened that there was nothing but the negative stuff to focus on. The more he thought about it, the more images came back to him. Images of death and blood, blood and death…blood. He hadn't fed since the night before the battle. He could feel the fiery burn in his throat, but he was beyond caring. Inuyasha had willingly given Zero more than enough of his precious blood whenever Zero had needed or wanted it and had never asked for a drop in return…and the one time that he actually needed it, Zero's defiled ex-human blood hadn't been good enough. He wasn't good enough, and had proven such when he hadn't been able to save him or his own brother. He could smell it now, the accursedly sweet scent of blood. It drove his senses mad with need. He shook his head, trying to rid himself of the memory…only it didn't do anything for the scent itself. Blinking rapidly, he opened his eyes, looking around, only to stop when his eyes landed on a single dripping crimson line of ambrosia up against a pale column of flesh. His eyes flashed up to meet dark brown ones.

"Zero, you need to drink." Kaname's words sent both a jolt of desire and despair throughout Zero's being. Quickly he shook his head in protest.

"No, I-I don't want it." Zero turned his head away from Kaname.

"It is not a question of whether or not you want it Zero. You need it, so take it." Kaname didn't want to upset Zero, he was just concerned about the boy's well-being. The last few days had been torture for him. Knowing Zero needed time to recover, Kaname had made himself scarce, and had tended to his own responsibilities while allowing Zero's friends and care-taker to look after him; despite the fact that every cell in his body was screaming for him to be near the hunter and make sure he was okay. Kaname had just gotten out of a meeting with Kaien when he had seen Zero enter the classroom by himself, and at first only intended to keep him company should he desire. But once he had sat down, he immediately recognized the state the hunter was currently in. He had hoped that Zero would bring it up, and ask for Kaname to give him blood, but when nearly ten minutes passed and nothing had happened, Kaname had taken it upon himself to nourish Zero the way he used to. However, as expected, Zero had refused is offer, but this time, Kaname wasn't going to accept no as an answer.

"I said I don't want it Kaname." Zero couldn't even imagine indulging in something like that when he was feeling so freaking depressed and guilty about everything that had happened. Not four hours ago, he had laid his brother and his boyfriend in the ground. Why the hell should he be allowed relief when they both were dead?

"I know what you said Zero, but I must insist this time. It will make you feel better." Kaname knew that if Zero were to lash out because of blood loss and accidentally hurt someone he would feel that much worse than he already currently was. But… more than that, Kaname wanted to do something for the hurting man…anything. Ideally, he would take Zero in his arms, and hold him till the pain went away, but knowing that wouldn't happen, he decided to try the next best thing. Maybe it was selfish of him to want Zero to need him the way he used to. Whatever the case, he needed the hunter to know that he was there for him.

Zero paused, then turned to look at him, the look clearly stating that he thought Kaname crazy.

"…I don't want to feel better. What is there to feel better about?" Kaname was taken aback by Zero's question. He suddenly was very frightened by at the thought that maybe Zero had decided to just give up. No, he wouldn't let him!

"Zero, I…I realize that the traumatic events as of late has scarred you deeply. I know what you must be feeling, but-"

"You don't know a damn thing about what I'm feeling." Zero interrupted angrily.

"Zero I-"

"You think that just because you can tell whether I'm thirsty or not that you automatically know what I'm feeling?" Zero stood from his seat, looking down at the pureblood.

"No, I never presumed to know-" Kaname tried to explain, but was again cut off.

"Because you don't. You don't know anything about me." At this point, Kaname had risen to his feet to look the hunter in the eyes.

"Zero stop misinterpreting my words. I never claimed to know everything you feel, just that I can empathize with your feeling of loss, after all, you were not the only one who lost someone. Students under my supervision and care were also buried today." Zero looked away from Kaname's piercing stare.

"I did not mean to offend you, I was just trying to lessen some of you pain…even if it is only that of the physical nature." He continued, trying to console Zero's anger.

"Why?" Zero suddenly asked. Kaname didn't understand.

"Why what?"

"Why do you do that…offer me your blood?" Zero clarified. Kaname was puzzled by Zero's question, he'd thought the answer would be obvious to the hunter.

"Because I want to help you." Zero shrugged off Kaname's answer and started pacing in front of the pureblood.

"For almost two years now, I've never had to ask for your blood, you always just…gave it to me, even if I didn't need it you insisted that I take it…and yet, the one time that I actually asked you for it…you said no…why?" In the blink of an eye, all the hurt that Zero had been feeling turned to anger; and now, all that anger was being unfairly directed and unleashed on Kaname. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Zero realized that it wasn't really fair to treat Kaname like this…after all, he was just trying to help, but he couldn't seem to rein it in. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to. It felt so good to just let it all out…even if it was on the wrong person.

The memory cut into Kaname's mind like a knife.

"Kaname! Please, please help him. He won't accept my blood…but yours, I know he'll accept yours. Please, I'm only asking for a little bit, hurry!"

"I'm sorry Zero…but it won't help."

"What are you talking about? You haven't even tried!" Zero yelled.

"Zero…he's beyond our help now. He's-"

"Well if you're not going to help, then you should just leave us the hell alone." Zero bit into his wrist again, trying to get more blood to come out.

"He's gone Zero. Inuyasha's gone, there's nothing any of us can do now."

"Shut up! Just…just shut the hell up!" Zero cried.

Kaname remembered the hollow feeling that formed in his chest as he watched Zero hold his dead lover's body in his arms; rocking slightly back and forth. It had taken Yagari and Kaien hours to convince Zero to release him…and no sooner had he let go of Inuyasha, he found himself staring down at the dead body of his twin brother Ichiru. Kaname had seen Zero cry before; back when he was a child…but this…his tears were not those of a child, but those of a man; a man who had just lost his whole world in one night. Didn't Zero think that if Kaname could have done anything to ease some of the hunter's pain he would have?

"Zero, believe me, if my blood could have done anything to save Inuyasha, I would have given it to you without hesitation…but it was already too late. He was beyond my blood's help." Kaname tried to explain his actions, but the look on Zero's face clearly stated that he didn't care. His eyes made it very clear that he partially blamed Kaname for Inuyasha's death…or rather that Zero needed to place the blame on someone other than himself, and Kaname just happened to be around at the moment.

"You don't know that. I've seen firsthand what a pureblood's blood is capable of. You didn't even try! How could you have known that it wouldn't work when you didn't even try?" Zero's voice rose with almost every syllable till he was nearly shouting at Kaname.

"I knew Zero because I couldn't sense any life left within him. He was already-"

"Don't say it." Zero interrupted. Kaname released a long sigh.

"Whether I say it or not Zero, it does not change the truth. What happened was truly terrible, but you can't deny it did happen." Zero's pain mingled with his anger, causing him to go on the defensive.

"I'm not denying anything! I just don't want to talk about it." Zero growled.

"Maybe talking about it would help you accept it." Kaname offered.

"I don't need help accepting anything. Especially not from you. I don't need your sympathy, I don't need your pity, I don't need your help, and I definitely don't need your blood. Just go away and leave me the hell alone." Zero roared. Kaname didn't want to leave him by himself, not like he was now. So instead, he took a step closer towards the hurting hunter, unfortunately for him, said hunter took that as a challenge. Without any more words exchanged, Zero lunged at Kaname, slamming him into the wall behind them. Kaname, caught off guard, reacted instinctually. With a low growl, he picked Zero up by his shoulders and tossed him down several levels of desks. That didn't stop Zero for long; he picked himself up and again rushed forward with his fist raised. Kaname, having gotten control over himself, maneuvered out of Zero's range, dodging Zero's wildly swinging fists.

"Stop this Zero. I am not your enemy." Kaname's attempts to reason with Zero fell on deaf ears. Kaname had no intention of fighting back. He would never deliberately hurt this man. But that didn't mean he was going to let Zero beat the living daylights out of him either. For a second, his thoughts hindered his reflexes, and in that split second, Zero's fist connected with Kaname's jaw with a hard crunch, sending the pureblood flying backwards.

Stunned, Kaname began to understand the seriousness of the situation as he heard the distinctive 'click' of the Bloody Rose being cocked…surely Zero didn't really intend to pull the trigger did he? Looking up, he saw the barrel of Zero's gun pointed at his chest, but it was Zero's eyes that really caught his interest. Those beautiful violet eyes that he loved so dearly were filled with such rage and pain that Kaname's heart clenched within his chest. Even now, all he wanted to do was protect and comfort the hunter standing before him. If Zero needed this…then so be it. Kaname closed his eyes, waiting for the sting he knew the anti-vampire bullet would bring. The metallic ring of the gun going off, was his only warning…only, the sting he was waiting for never came. Confused, he opened his eyes, and found another hunter standing beside Zero. He believed the red haired one's name was Axel if he was not mistaken. Axel's hands were covering Zero's around the handle of the gun. From the new hole in the celling, Kaname guessed that Axel had forced Zero's aim up and diverted the bullet from Kaname's path.

"You crazy Kiryu? Axel's gruff voice broke though Kaname's surprise. He watched as Zero struggled and twisted out of Axel's grip. Zero swung around to look at Axel.

"What if I am? As far as I can tell, being crazed is better than being miserable." Axel paused to get a good look at his longtime friend.

"Man get ahold of yourself." He ordered.

"Why? We've just established that I've lost my mind…would a sane man do this?" Zero cocked the Bloody Rose, aimed, and pulled the trigger, sending a bullet straight into his own side.

Axel rushed forward, knocking the gun from Zero's hand with one arm, and catching Zero with the other.

"Damn it Zero!" He inspected the wound, relieved when he found it to be just a flesh wound. He pushed Zero away slightly so he could look him in the eyes. He could clearly see the anger and pain that Kaname had seen earlier. He pulled the hunter to his feet, and walked over to one of the desks. He turned to look at Zero as he picked up one of the chairs and held it in one hand.

"You angry Zero?" Watching Zero's eyes narrow was the only answer he got.

"Show me." Axel threw the chair clear across the room, watching it break and splinter into smaller pieces. Both Zero and Kaname stared at Axel in shock.

"I know you're angry Zero. Show me how angry you are!" With no further invitation, Zero began destroying the classroom; piece by piece. Axel and Kaname stood back and watched as chairs were smashed, desks were hurled all over the room, windows were shattered, and even the celling lights didn't remain unbroken despite Zero's injury. Only after the room was completely destroyed, and both Zero's physical and emotional strength had waned did Zero finally fall to his knees in the center of all the rubble; his head hid in his hands. Axel climbed his way over to him and wrapped his arms around his shaking shoulders; he rocked him softly, trying to comfort his broken friend. Zero cried harder as he heard Axel's soft whispered words in his ear.

"It's okay, it's okay. It'll be okay Zero." Almost like he himself had been holding everything in as well, Axel finally allowed tears that matched Zero's to slid down his cheeks as he held Zero's tense form…after all, whoever said that men don't cry, was a fucking idiot.

Kaname finally understood. Axel knew what Zero had really needed. Kaname released a silent breath as he watched the grieving pair unleash all their bottled up pain.

Once again, Zero stood in front of a newly turned grave in the pouring rain. In all honesty, he was surprised he hadn't ended up here sooner.

After his outburst in the classroom, Axel and taken him to the infirmary where his self-inflicted wound was looked at and treated. At the time, he just thought it would be quicker and more effective than a razorblade…though the idea behind it was the same. He had hoped that physical pain would take his mind off the emotional pain.

Unexpectedly, no one said anything about the destroyed classroom; however, Kaien did take him aside after his injury was bandaged up to speak with him privately.

"Zero, by all means morn. It's only natural to grieve at loss. But…don't spend the rest of your life thinking only of their death. Instead, try to focus on the good memories; all the precious moments that you had together. Cherish those, and remember Inuyasha and Ichiru with smiles and laughter. I know that that's what they would've wanted."

Zero knew his adopted father meant well, but his words did little to console him at this time. He thought that he would be all cried out by now…what with all the salt water he'd been leaking lately, but like the rain, he just couldn't seem to stop.

Without much thought, Zero crawled up onto Inuyasha's grave, curling up and clutching the soaked soil to his chest. He didn't know how long he stayed like that, but it was long enough for him to fall asleep despite the still pouring rain.

He had no knowledge of the soft, tender eyes that looked upon his soaked form with compassion, or the strong arms that gently picked him up and held him close to a warm chest. He didn't know that caring hands stripped him of his drenched and dirty clothes, and after cleaning him and lightly drying him with a plush towel, replaced them with a warm pair of sweats, or that those same hands tucked him safely into his own bed.

Zero Kiryu had no clue that Kaname Kuran cherished him so dearly; that the pureblood's chest ached fiercely knowing the hunter was in so much pain. Some days Kaname wondered if Zero ever would. Even if he never did, one thing was certain: neither heaven nor hell could move him from his hunter's side this night…the rest would come later.

So yeah, like I said: Doom and Gloom. Can't say I didn't warn ya. Anyways, any of you who think Zero is acting rather…childish or girly…well I ask you, how would you react if the two most important ppl in your life were suddenly taken from you in one night? I bet you'd be a blubbering mess too. I hope you enjoyed this last chapter despite its depressing atmosphere. Stay tuned for chapter 14…I have special guest appearance scheduled for next time, hehe!

Thank you to all who reviewed and or favorited. You Guys = Awesomeness!

So now the rest of you slackers (no offence intended) follow their example and REVIEW PLEASE! See, that's me asking nicely. :)