Day 14

He is still gone.

No sign of him.

No sign of the guards.

I am terrified.

I was awake the whole night, waiting, hoping he would return. But he didn't.

It's probably still early in the morning. And the dungeon is still very dark.

Horrifying.

It seems to get smaller and smaller with each passing second. Is it closing up on me?

I try to breath normally, but I can't help but feel sheer panic crawl into me.

Such silence.

It's almost painful.

When Professor Snape was here the silence was annoying, but now it's unbearable.

I'm alone.

Completely alone.

My throat closes up with fear and I can feel tears beginning to form in my eyes. It's been so long since I last cried.

No matter what was happening, what horrible things the guards put us through, it was easier, because he was here. I could count on him. I could relay on him. He was like a rock.

And now he's gone.

ooo

Finally I allow myself to say those words in my mind.

Is he dead?

Is he?

No. No. No.

Why would they just kill him? That's not very likely. If they did kill him, they would want me to watch, wouldn't they?

Where is he?

Perhaps they have taken him to another dungeon to torture him?

Will he return?

ooo

Still no sign of him.

Wait.

Something horrible starts to form in my head.

Doubt.

What if my previous fears were true?

What if he really is working with the Death Eaters?

I freeze, realizing how very possible that it. It could happen.

Oh God.

He seemed very convinced to teach me Occlumency yesterday. He wanted to gain access to my mind to get information he needed and now he's gone.

I stand up, not able to sit down anymore.

I am a nervous wreck.

Did he take advantage of me?

Is he now talking to Voldemort, giving him all the information he got from me?

I don't know which thought is more horrible.

The thought of him being evil all along or the thought of him being dead.

ooo

My stomach hurts.

Really hurts.

And it's not from my monthly visitor, that is over already. Thank God.

My stomach pain is coming from the fact that I'm hungry. And that's un understatement.

I'm starving.

I curl up into a ball, pressing my head into the mattress.

ooo

A loud noise pulls me out of my thoughts.

Immediately I stand up, noticing a guard enter the dungeon.

And there was no one with him.

I observe with horror as doors close behind him and he looks at me strangely.

I don't understand that look.

"Where's Professor Snape?" I demand.

"Professor Snape is currently unavailable," is his only reply.

"Where is he? Is he alright?"

He rolls his eyes, "You ought to listen more and talk less."

I unconsciously take a step back and flinch when my back hits the wall behind me.

He smirks, "Let me explain why I am here."

I wait in silence.

"I was given the task of convincing you to turn against the Order."

I almost snort at that, but luckily I stop myself in time.

He continues, "I am allowed to do anything to make sure I succeed. Do you understand that?"

"Y-You want me to...work with you? Why? I'm just a Mudblood, right? Surely Mudbloods aren't allowed into your circle."

"That is correct, but the Dark Lord is willing to make an exception this time. For you."

I shiver at the mention of Voldemort. It all seems more real to me now.

After a couple of minutes I shake my head, "You are losing your time."

"I expected that kind of an answer from you," he says, pulling a wand from his robes.

I tense even though I try to hide it.

"Let's try again," he sighs, looking at me, "Are you willing to help us?"

No.

No.

No.

The word is so clear in my mind, but for some strange reason I can't seem to say it. I open my mouth to speak, but my eyes are fixed on that wand and it seems like I'm paralyzed.

I don't want to feel pain anymore. I'm so sick and tired of the pain.

The guards smiles and walks up to me, "That's right, little girl. Just say yes and everything will be alright. You will be taken to our rooms upstairs, you will have your own bathroom, you will get a decent meal."

I close my eyes, taking a deep breath.

"Where is Professor Snape?" I ask, weakly.

"He is alright, he has already accepted our offer."

My eyes snap open at that, "W-What?"

"It took the whole night, but at the end he realized what the right thing is."

"He..." I can't even say it.

"Now it's up to you. Do the right thing. Just like Professor Snape."

Oh God.

I'm completely alone.

"What do you say, little girl?"

My eyes slowly make their way up to his face.

"No."

"What was that?" he leans closer.

"No," I repeat, stronger this time.

I am shaking with fear, panic, disappointment, rage, pain.

I don't know how much longer I can take it all, but I will not betray my friends and the Order. I will not betray good people.

The guards sighs, "How old are you?"

"Seventeen."

I don't even know why I'm answering him.

I'm just so tired.

"You are too young to die, girl," he replies, "What would your parents say? Do you want to hurt them? If we kill you, your body will be left on their doorstep. Do you want that?"

I'm sick.

My stomach twists and I'm glad I haven't had anything to eat.

I simply shake my head.

"You are quite pretty, you know that?"

What?

I shift uncomfortably, feeling uneasy about him being so close to me.

"I apologize for cutting your hair, but it was necessary," he explains, taking a step closer to me.

"Don't," is all I can say, "Please."

I don't even know what I'm asking for.

"It would be a shame if your life ended like that, girl."

I try to push him away, but he is stronger.

I have never before been this terrified. I have never been alone with a guard. Not like this.

Suddenly he backs away from me and I can breath again.

But it's not over.

His wand is pointed at me.

"Crucio."

My body hits the floor.

ooo

I cry out when it's finally over.

How long has it been?

An hour? More?

And how many doses of the Cruciatus Curse?

Three? Or perhaps ten?

I'm not sure. My mind is not working properly. I can't think straight.

It seems as if the cold ground has become my best friend. I can't even pull myself up.

"Girl," the guards says, "Have you changed your mind? I am already bored with the Cruciatus. We might try something different."

I do not react.

Am I even afraid?

Perhaps the Cruciatus has somehow damaged my ability to feel.

Suddenly the doors open and I tense, expecting another guard to come in.

But it's not a guard.

It's...a girl.

I look at her, surprised and she looks confused as well.

By her state, I would say she is a captive as well. But she seems to be here longer than I.

God, she's my age.

The guard grabs her arm and pushes her into the wall.

Then he looks at me, "Her name is Rose."

"W-What is she doing here?" I ask.

"That depends on you," he answers, "If you do as we say, she will survive. If not..."

My eyes meet with her terrified ones. She seems so afraid, she can't even talk. Her lips are not moving, but the look in her eyes is pleading. She's begging me to help her.

"Don't...don't do this," I whisper to the guard, "You can do whatever you wish to me."

He simply shakes his head.

Silence.

Oh god. Oh god.

"Now," he starts, "Will you cross over to our side and help us to the best of your ability?"

"I-I don't even know anything! You think I have all this information, but I don't! I don't know anything!"

I'm panicking right now. What could I possibly say to save this girl?

"This is not up to me to decide. If our Master thinks you have potential, then you do."

I shake my head.

This is all crazy.

The guard lets out an annoyed sigh, then flicks his wand at the girl. She screams as a large cut appears on her neck. There is blood, but luckily it missed a vein.

I force myself to look away from her, "I can't."

"This is your last chance," the guard warns me, "You or her life."

"I can't!" I scream.

"Avada Kedavra."

Just like that.

"No!" I let out a horrible cry as the girl's body hits the ground.

She's dead.

My hand covers my mouth in shock.

"W-What did you do?" I whisper, "It wasn't her fault..."

I can't even cry, there is only this weird noise coming from me.

I barely acknowledge the guard as he walks over to me.

He kneels down next to me.

I try to pull myself up, but fail miserably. I feel so pathetic.

He points his wand at me again and I close my eyes, waiting for the curse to hit me.

God, I don't want to die.

I don't want this filthy dungeon to be the last thing I see.

I don't want to be alone.

As I wait, I realize that nothing is happening.

But...

My eyes snap open and I look down at myself, noticing something invisible slowly unbuttoning my blouse.

"No!" I protest, holding the material together and trying to roll onto my stomach.

Suddenly he's on me, his knees on either side of me. I try to push him away, but my arms are so weak I can barely move them.

The next thing I hear is a horrible ripping sound as my blouse is being forced open. Buttons are flying everywhere.

I struggle.

I can't believe what is happening.

Am I really about to get raped in this filthy dungeon with a dead girl's corpse just a few steps away?

I look at her and notice her eyes are still open.

Then something inside of me explodes.

I don't know where this strength came from. I was completely useless just a moment ago.

And now I'm twisting underneath him, kicking, hitting, biting.

I am like an animal.

But he is still somehow winning. Of course he is.

"You do have a nice body, no wonder your beloved Professor has trouble keeping it down around you," he whispers.

Disgusting.

"Let go of me!" I scream, my throat is hurting already from all the screaming.

He does not react at all.

His cold hands are suddenly on my stomach, traveling up, touching, groping.

One of his hands is pushing my skirt up and then something snaps inside of me.

I bite his other hand to confuse him and then my knee connects hard with his man part. I kick him so hard I'm positive I will have bruise on my knee.

He rolls off of me, crying out and holding his injured part of the body.

I crawl away from him, stopping when I reach the wall.

Then I wait.

The guard seems like he is in a great deal of pain.

He grunts and after a few moments manages to pull himself up, "We...will finish this another time. Do not think this will go unpunished. You've made things much harder for yourself."

I let out a breath of relief, not caring if he notices.

"For your punishment - no food today."

With those words he limps his way out of the dungeon.

I don't care about food at the moment. All I can think about is what almost happened.

Tears spill down my cheeks and I lay down onto the ground, trying to fix my destroyed blouse.

It's pointless.

I press my hand over my mouth to keep the cries in.

How did it come to this?

Where is the Order? Why don't they save us?

Why don't they help us? Have they given up?

I close my eyes, ignoring the sight of the dungeon and the dead girl's body.

ooo

Hours pass.

I do not even move. I am still in the same position since the guard left.

I'm afraid to open my eyes.

I don't want to see that girl. I know I should cover her with something, but I can't even move. Why did he leave her here?

Then there is that horrible noise again.

The doors opening.

I refuse to open my eyes, hoping it is simply my imagination.

Please, let it be my imagination.

The doors closing again.

But I can feel someone's presence.

I shiver and try hard to hold back my cries.

"Miss Granger."

My breath catches in my throat.

"Miss Granger."

That cold, silky voice.

Is it really him?

I can hear steps towards me, then a hand touches my shoulder and I flinch away, my eyes snapping open.

I can't believe it.

It's him.

Professor Snape.

"You're...alive," I manage to say.

I actually feel the need to hug him. I am so glad he's back.

"Y-You're here," I whisper, smiling.

"I am here," he replies, then his eyes move down to look at the girl laying next to his mattress, "What happened?"

He quickly walks over to her, leaning over her. After a moments, he looks back at me, "She is dead."

I nod, tears clouding my eyesight, "It's my fault."

"What do you mean?"

"H-He said he would kill her if I refused to help him and..."

Professor Snape takes a deep breath, realization forming on his face. He stands up, grabbing his robe from my mattress, then gently covers the girl.

I don't think I'll touch that robe ever again.

He then turns his attention towards me, carefully observing me, "What else happened?"

I pull my blouse tighter around me, not answering.

"Miss Granger?"

Then I notice something.

He seems...different.

Cleaner. His robes are different. He is clean-shaven.

"What happened to you?" I ask, confused, "Why are you..."

He does not answer immediately and I tense, "Is it true then?"

I try to move away from him, horror on my face, "You are on their side!"

"Granger, calm down."

"I trusted you," I can't stop my voice from shaking, "Were you watching? Did you enjoy the show?"

"Do not jump to conclusions," he says firmly.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself down, "T-They said you are on their side now."

"Miss Granger, that was a lie."

"Then where were y-you? I-I was so alone. So alone."

He sighs, "I was taken to a room and they spent the whole night convincing me to cross over to their side."

"And they...gave you a new haircut and a shave?"

"They were very persistent and convincing."

I try to move, but cry out as pain shots through me.

"Where does it hurt?" he asks with concern, his eyes roaming over my body.

I let out a short laugh, "E-Everything h-hurts."

"Granger, do you wish to tell me what happened?"

I look away from him, "The guard visited me. He was alone."

"They assured me you will not be harmed in my absence," he is angry, I can feel it.

Silence.

"What did he do?" he asks slowly.

"C-Crucio, mostly."

"Mostly?"

"And a-after that he...he tried something else a-and I was so weak and t-tired and couldn't stop him...I couldn't do anything."

"Miss Granger," he says in a pained voice.

I know what he wants to ask, but does not dare to.

I quickly shake my head, "Nothing happened," then I force a weak smile, "I think I've injured him for the day."

He visibly relaxes at that, then moves to help me, "Come."

He drops me on my mattress, then takes a step back, still looking at me.

"Why did you refuse?" I quietly ask.

"I see we still have some trust issues," is his only reply.

"I didn't want to think...at first I didn't...but then..." I trail off.

"Do you truly think I am capable of betraying the Order, betraying the Headmaster?"

I wish I could say no. But I don't know.

I don't know anything anymore.

"I see," he says after my silence.

"What...what will they do with her?" I ask, looking at that poor girl.

"They will not leave her here, do not worry."

"She's so young," I whisper, "Do you know her? Is she a student at Hogwarts?"

He tenses, "You should get some rest."

"It's all my fault."

"Granger - "

"I should have done something. She was looking at me and..."

"There are always innocent victims."

Silence.

"Get some rest," he says again.

"Will you still be here when I wake up?"

I feel like a little child, asking him that.

"You have my word," he answers.

I nod, closing my eyes, willing all the horrible memories of the day to disappear from my mind.

A/N: He's back! ;) Do you believe him? I am updating quickly because I want to get to the end as soon as possible. The ending will blow you away, I hope. ;) Thank you for reading and I appreciate your opinion! Your reviews make my day. :)

p.s. There will be more Occlumency in the next chapter. :)