Summer had turned to autumn and now winter was fast approaching.

She and Sirius had worked on building a separate cottage, more of a shack really, further down the beach from Shell Cottage. Its purpose was for emergencies. They'd labelled it 'The Sticks' due to the fact that it was predominately made up of bits of wood salvaged from the beach and a whole lot of magical prowess. With Sirius' art of putting things together and Ana's ability to make things stay together they'd made good progress throughout the autumn. It was, she had assured Bill and Fleur when Sirius had come up with the idea, a mere precaution. It was also a project – something to take Sirius' mind from Harry. However she also saw it as a place she and Sirius could retreat to when Shell Cottage became too full…which, nowadays, it was feeling all too often.

News from the Order was sparse. Things were happening, that was definite, but the inhabitants of Shell Cottage had little to do with it. Bill was continuing his work for Gringotts and as such had no part in the Order's plotting. His role was to merely pass on anything he heard. Chancing anything risky and losing his job in the influential bank would be disastrous not only for the Order but for his young marriage...so life for Bill Weasley continued all but as normal. Fleur was jobless, since she had quit her spell in Gringotts once married, and focused her attentions on the running of the house. Ana had taken some time to persuade Sirius that, as Undesirables, they were both unable to do anything so grand as he would like. When, considering what he would like ran close to storming the Ministry and cursing as many Death Eaters as possible in as short a time as possible, she was thankful she was there to restrain him somewhat. However she wondered at times whether she was ever going to live a quiet life; should she choose to spend it with Sirius Black. No matter how much he professed to love her, which in itself was happening less and less as time went by, she found herself with little control over him. He was impulsive, rash and stupidly brave. Unfortunately that was just how she liked him.

Despite the promise of a visit from Remus Lupin the man had failed to find the time to visit the beachside retreat which was Shell Cottage, in part because half the werewolves in the country were looking for him and also because Tonks was well along in her pregnancy now and he was desperate to find somewhere for her to have the baby. Andromeda, Tonks' mother, was currently hosting the couple…but how much longer the place could remain safe with Bellatrix and Narcissa both on the other side of the fence? It was impossible to tell.

That was another reason why The Sticks was so important. Sirius especially wanted a place where Remus and Tonks could come, should their search for a safe haven prove impossible. Ana knew he missed his friend and she too found herself at times bereft at not having Remus around and able to see her at the drop of a hat for the first time in her life. For Sirius though it was doubly difficult as he was also missing Harry. Or perhaps because he was missing James…sometimes Ana wasn't sure he knew the difference between one loss and the other.

Potterwatch, a covert and highly illegal radio show which had been the brainchild of Fred and George Weasley, had given Sirius some comfort. They had received a message from Kingsley about the show before summer's end and had been spending most evenings after days working on The Sticks or helping Fleur in the cottage trying to find a broadcast on the wireless. Bill had proved excellent at guessing the password if they missed a showing but with Sirius' constant monitoring of every frequency it was a rare thing that guessing was needed.

"Ana!" he called one evening as she sat out on the breeze blown beach and listened to the waves whilst sowing a ribbon for Snape, "It's on!"

She scrambled up, her bare feet fighting free of cool sand as she did so, and raced off towards the house, arriving breathless at the front door just as the familiar sound of Lee Jordan's voice floated through the speaker.

"…we have heard within the last few hours that Rubeus Hagrid, well known gamekeeper at Hogwarts school, has narrowly escaped arrestment in the grounds of Hogwarts…"

Ana clutched the doorframe as her stomach lurched, her heart beating erratically in her chest at the sound of Hagrid's name.

"…for holding a support Harry Potter party in his house!"

Sirius let out a bark of laughter and Bill, sitting close by, chuckled.

"However Hagrid was not taken into custody and we believe is on the run."

"Oh thank Merlin," Ana breathed, unlatching her fingers from the doorframe and moving over to sit beside Sirius, who unexpectedly wrapped an arm around her waist without taking his eyes off the radio.

"…but whilst we here at Potterwatch applaud Hagrid's spirit we would advise against following Hagrid's lead. Support Harry Potter parties are unwise in the present climate. Especially with all we've heard about the Ministry hiring these Snatcher squads."

Ana stiffened and she was not alone. Draco, who was hovering at the staircase, did the same at the mention of Snatchers. The Ministry was continuing to become corrupt from the inside out then; if there were already Snatchers openly in their employ.

"…so to all those who find themselves being unjustly labelled Undesirable we here at Potterwatch salute you! And to all those people who are really Undesirable…*cough* Delores Umbridge *cough* Malfoy…your time will come."

Ana looked over to Draco and saw his jaw clench and posture stiffen further as he glared at the wireless with obvious anger.

"…keep safe and don't give up hope!"

Static filled the room and everyone was silent. The quiet was broken suddenly by the sound of Draco turning and racing up the stairs, his long legs taking them two at a time and the slamming of his bedroom door behind him.

"I shall go…" Fleur offered after a brief pause; standing and walking soundlessly along the same path Draco had trampled. She disappeared up the stairs and a moment later a quiet knocking, followed by the opening of a door and the closing moments later, could be heard.

"Well…" Bill said finally, "No bad news at least."

"No," Sirius agreed, "No deaths. Ana keeps telling me that no news about Harry is best but still…" he trailed off.

Ana shifted closer to him, gently grazing her temple against his shoulder, offering silent support and secretly savouring the physical contact. Although they were emotionally close she realised now that she couldn't remember the last time he'd done more than brushed past her in the doorway. He hadn't stayed in her room since the night he had told her tales of the Marauders and she wondered as to whether the revelations had left him feeling…unguarded?

"Yeah, I know. I sometimes hope there'll be word…because of Ron – and Harry and Hermione too, but I know if they find out about Ron they'll come after Mom and Dad…"

Bill trailed off and the three were left in gloomy silence.

"Maybe I should pass on some things to Kingsley for the show," Ana finally mused out loud, "You know…little spells and potions I learned from the other time. Only simple things but they might be useful. What do you think?"

"Yeah," Bill said, visibly perking up at the thought of being useful, "I could put some stuff together too. From the curse breaking back in Egypt…you know. Some spells that can be used to defend your house and that…"

"That sounds great Bill," Ana smiled at the other man.

"Yeah…" he stood up and wandered over to where the front room, a magically partitioned other half of the same room they were currently sat in, was situated, "I think I'll make some notes now – I'm not working tomorrow so I've got time…" his voice trailed off as he went to pursue his occupation, passing beyond the partition and leaving Ana and Sirius alone.

"What are you thinking?" she asked gently once Bill and his murmured chatter had faded to nothing and quiet had pervaded for a few long moments.

"About Harry." he breathed, pulling her closer and resting his chin on her head.

"If something had happened we'd know," she murmured reassuringly, fingers playing with his shirt buttons as she felt his heart beat against her cheek, "The bloody Death Eaters would be sounding it from every rooftop. The less we hear the more sure you can be that he's safe and working on taking down the whole damned lot of them."

"I know." was his toneless reply.

She didn't say anything else. There wasn't any point. He was lost in thoughts of Harry now; and unhappy thoughts of Harry led to thoughts of James and then the Marauders and betrayal and Azkaban… soon he would pull away and meander off. She wouldn't stop him. In truth she'd run out of things to say, platitudes to offer…which made her wonder. Did he really need her at all?

In the long days of being able to do nothing but work on The Sticks and help Fleur around the house Potterwatch was a saving grace. At least…it should have been. However the resultant brooding, which led to silence, attempts at talking, pleading, sulking…it was exhausting her. Then there was the most crucial thing; at least to Sirius' increasingly fevered mind. With every Potterwatch broadcast there seemed to be a distinct lack of one thing. Potter.

"Hand me that board would you? I think I'm going to…Sirius?"

She turned to find that, whilst only minutes ago he had been at her side, she was now standing on an abandoned beachfront. Over in the distance she could make out smoke coming from the rickety chimney of Shell Cottage and sighed. He'd gone back to the house, no doubt. There hadn't been a Potterwatch for nearly a week and he was getting edgy…edgier. Despite the fact that the broadcasts depressed him their lack of them was far worse; because no news at all was his favoured poison over a selective and deafening absence.

After using a Permanent Sticking Charm and taking her time to fix the board in place she'd slowly made her way back to the cottage, which she knew would be empty apart from Draco and Sirius, and peered through the front door. Draco was sat in the living room, allowed to be left alone now without fear of him running off. The first time he'd been, quite accidentally, left alone Sirius had thrown a fit and Bill hadn't been far behind. However when they'd all made their way back to the cottage it was to find Draco crossed legged and reading a book of Ana's about potion making; the very image of innocence. Which was very much like how he looked now, absently stirring a cup of tea whilst scanning the Prophet – not that there was much to read in the paper nowadays. It was entirely corrupt.

"Oh hello," she said, causing Draco to look up disinterestedly before turning his attention back to the paper, "Have you seen Sirius?"

"He came in about…" Draco paused, tilting his head with languid thought, "About ten minutes ago. Perhaps less than that; he left you this," he gestured to a piece of folded paper on the table, "Said to make sure you got it."

She walked over and picked up the paper, unfolding it to read,

Be back at sundown. Don't worry. S.

Well of course now she was worried. He'd been acting strangely all day, shifty, quiet, doing more staring into the distance than usual…it was all fast becoming usual behaviour but today was different somehow. At first she had thought he was just tired, or else having a bad day, or perhaps taken offence at something she'd unconsciously said, or done, or not done but…it felt like it was more than that. There had to be more to it than that. She couldn't put words to it but it felt…like she was forgetting something. A birthday? No – he wouldn't be so mulish over something so…

"Draco?" she murmured.

"Yes?" he replied in an unenthusiastic tone.

"What's the date today?"

He gave her a long suffering look before huffing a sigh and turning to the front of the paper.

"It's…the 31st of October. Do you need the year as well or are you…?" his sarcasm trailed off at the look on her face. She could practically feel the colour draining from her as her mind connected the dots it should have connected long before that moment.

"Ana?" he asked tentatively, all snarkiness gone, "Are you…?"

"I forgot about it," she answered, half to herself, "I forgot about the date. It's the day they died," she said, looking to Draco, "The day Lily and James Potter died."

Her mouth stopped, dry and unable to go on, but her mind filled in the gaps. Of course he's upset. It's the anniversary of their deaths and we all just…carried on. His best friend…his brother in everything but blood…the parents of his Godson…Merlin I'm stupid.

She heaved a sigh and sat down heavily onto the dining chair in front of her.

"Erm…" sounded Draco finally, "Should we…look for him? Or something..?"

"No," she answered, her one hand cradling her forehead, which suddenly felt heavier than it had in years, whilst the other gripped the note tightly in a vice like grasp,

"No I think he wants to be alone."

It was almost half past two in the morning when the front door to Shell Cottage finally opened and Sirius walked inside. Ana was sitting at the tiny dining table, a bottle of Firewhiskey and two glasses before her. She watched him walk through the room, pausing to take off his jacket, before turning to see her sitting there.

"You're up late," he said in a voice which was gruff.

When he stepped into the light she could see that he'd been crying.

"Here," she poured a glass of the alcohol and pushed it towards him, "I thought we should toast them. I know it's not the day anymore but we haven't slept so…" she shrugged.

He looked at the glass for a moment before walking over and taking it. She rose to meet him, her own glass long ago filled, and raised hers to meet his.

"To Lily and James." she said quietly.

"Lily and James." he repeated.

They drank, Ana wincing at the burning in her throat. Sirius finished his in one gulp and sat down heavily, his shoulders sagging as he remained still. She placed her glass carefully on the table top before placing two fingers beneath his chin, tilting his head gently upwards and pressing a soft kiss to his mouth.

"Potterwatch came on around eight. The password is Potters. Goodnight, Sirius."

She was passing him when his hand reached out, gripping her wrist vice like and holding on. She looked down at the hand and then up at his face which was focused still on the table top.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, "Sorry that I'm making this so difficult for you."

He didn't elaborate and she didn't need him to. All they seemed to do was fight and reconcile, worry for one another and talk - talk through their problems only for others to rise up again as soon as the previous disaster had been put to bed. Before they knew it there was distance between them again and then…there were circles within circles and they were the both of them trapped within those damned circles. She knew all of that and yet Ana also knew war. She understood how it could tear things apart, even the strongest of things, and make them weak. She knew all of that too - and yet she didn't say any of it. Instead she breathed,

"There's nothing to be sorry for."

His hand tightened around her wrist for a moment, gripping so tightly it was on the verge of pain, yet still she said nothing. She stood and waited, watching emotions play across his face as he stared at nothing; lost within his mind.

"Is it supposed to be like this?" he asked after they had stood there for a while, being together and yet completely separate.

He could have meant many things. Is it supposed to be so difficult to fight a war when you know you're on the good side of the fence? Is it supposed to be so heart wrenching to have a boy you'd call your own? Is it supposed to be so hard to be as close as they were; no secrets, no hiding, no lies? Is love supposed to be so painful? He could have meant them all. So she answered with something he had told her before, in the other time.

"Things that are worth doing are never easy," she offered in muted response her wrist twitching as the grip of his fingers lessened, "Honestly? If it was easy I don't know that I'd love you so much. All we've been through, all the sides to you I've seen…"

"What about the bad ones?" he asked, sounding like a child who was afraid of being told off for something which wasn't their fault, so forlorn was his voice.

"They're a part of you and I love you so I love them. Sirius…I don't know much about being with someone like we are with each other either. I don't know if it's the same for everyone else or if this is just us. But I know that I love you. I will always love you. That's all that matters to me."

He released her hand and she turned to face him, his eyes finally lifting to meet hers and the darkness of the room causing them to shine like beacons.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," was his raw response, his voice plainly straining to conceal emotion just beneath the surface.

"Brood, probably," she commented lightly, "Brood and mope and be a nuisance."

He rose and smiled, a softer expression that he'd borne all day, and gently reached out to trace his hand across her jawline, causing her to shiver involuntarily.

"I love you. You know that?" he asked, the quiet intensity suggesting it was a much of a question as a statement.

She hesitated, wondering if she should tell the truth or use a lie for ease…because recently had she seen the evidence of his feelings? An odd, long awaited touch or word and long stretches of nothing, not even conversation, sometimes not even eye contact…he was pushing her away and trying to bear all of his sorrow alone and it was killing her as much as it was him. But that wasn't what he needed to hear. He needed to hear something safe; something comforting.

"I know." she lied.

Fleur had assigned her as the one to peg out the washing. There was a healthy breeze coming in off the sea front and Ana was having to double up on pegs so had enlisted a bored Draco into helping her – with a promise of more lessons after the task was done. He was currently wandering off at the edge of her vision, kicking sand and looking thoughtful. Ana pulled a shirt out of the basket at her feet and smiled as she recognised it as one of Sirius'.

She'd left him in the kitchen with the Firewhiskey and the darkness the night before and had seen nothing of him since. When she got up that morning Bill said Sirius had left the cottage before dawn and an investigation of The Sticks brought up nothing. It was painful but true. She was being phased out…the question was why? Why, when things had been so good before, when…?

A yell from over where she'd seen Draco last caused Ana to look up from her washing. She scanned the area, not finding the boy, and dropped what she was doing to race off across the banks of sand to find him. However after a mere moment's desperation he appeared over a ridge, his eyes wide and pale face contorted in a shocked expression.

"Shacklebolt is on the beach," he got out, looking over his shoulder as though to confirm his own words before continuing, "I think…I think he's dead."