A/N: This story is rated M for later chapters (in case people are just confused )

It's a slow burn but someone's got to do it…

Reflecting on her engagement with James was a task that rarely happened. But sometimes she found herself looking back as the women bragged about their giant diamond rings and elaborate celebrations. She listened and nodded in all the right places as they babbled on and on about their perfect fiancés who had proposed so romantically, how they squealed 'Yes!' when the question was popped like a cork. Just like the champagne bottles that were opened for the reception. She couldn't help but scoff inside when the women droned on about how happy they were and how life was now complete for them. She thought they were stupid. And yet, she knew she was being hypocritical because at one point, she was just like that. It made her feel sick. Sick to her stomach that she could have been with James forever with no way out. She often wondered how she found the courage to get out when she did.

They were so happy before. In love and besotted. At least she was, now she was not so sure about James at the time. Those cosy nights in watching TV had never made her happier. She could not help but feel adored when he cancelled his plans with others in favour of her own. For a while, it was just them two. Together all the time, cut off the outside world. Until his friends started moaning and whinging like the immature men they were. Her parents also made comments that James spent too much time with her. Always disapproving. She never understood why but he started going out more. Leaving her to sit, waiting for him to come home in the dark. He stopped answering his phone when she called. So she kept calling, until he would end up with dozens of missed calls. She was confused at the sudden change in their relationship. Why he had become so cold and distant? Was it something she had said? Her constant questioning and insecurities irritated James and the arguments began. She was always left feeling guilty and paranoid. She was always in the wrong and could never do anything right. It left her feeling depressed. Her fiancé had changed before her eyes and she had no idea why or how to stop it.

-xox-

"Jesus Christ Bella, you knew I was going to be out with the guys and that I would be back late. You don't need to keep calling me every five seconds!" he sighed exasperated with the same speech over and over again.

"I didn't know where you were! You never tell me anything anymore and it wasn't every five seconds."

James scoffed and looked at his phone, "Look, you've called me four times…it's ridiculous."

Bella was dumfounded and stunned into silence as she struggled to respond. Surely four times was not that excessive? Was she turning into one of those needy women?

"Honestly, you're making me look like a laughing stock. The guys think I'm under the thumb…well that opinion is about to change."

Bella's eyes widened, "What do you mean?" she asked hesitantly,

"I mean, don't fucking call me anymore when I go out okay? It's irritating and I'm sure you've got better things to do!" He snapped and his harsh tone made Bella flinch.

"Like what?"

"I don't know! For God's sake, clean up or something…this house is a mess and you're just sitting there calling me all the time."

"Why are you being like this James?" Bella cried as she grasped the corners of his jacket.

With a disgusted look on her face, he pushed her away and she stumbled.

That night was the first of many. He would come home drunk, his breath smelling of alcohol and his words slurred and harsh. He would make her cry. Never from physical wounds but through the way he spoke to her. For a while she did not understand what was going on. She simply took it. But the few friends she had at the time noticed the change in demeanour and how she acted around them. She became quiet and withdrawn. They made a big effort. Attempting to make her smile and laugh, inviting her to come out more which Bella at the time gratefully accepted the momentary escape. However, it didn't last long.

"Bella, what is that?" James snapped, glaring at her dress with disgust.

Bella looked down at her outfit in confusion. "I'm going out for drinks with the girls"

"Look at me when I'm talking to you!" James snapped and grabbed her chin to force her face upwards. His eyes were dark and fierce, a sign that he was angry. Bella was used to him being angry.

"You are not going out looking like that, no way!"

"But James –"

James breathed in through his nostrils before he grabbed at the strap of her dress. He pulled hard and it snapped painfully against her skin. Bella gasped as the top of her dress ripped at the top.

"Put something else on you look like a slut!"

He threw the scrap of material he had in his hand across the floor and stormed off, grabbing a bottle of whisky and a glass on his way to the bedroom. Bella felt tears burn her eyes and she clasped a hand over her mouth to keep in the sobs.

-xox-

Bella shook her head to rid of the memories that were swirling round her head as she placed a book titled 'All About Marriage' written by some tough talking lady who was not shy about telling the truth back into its rightful place. Bella hadn't read it, but many of the women who came into the shop always commented on it. She could never understand why anyone would want to read a book solely based on that topic. A topic that she despised.

She thought about the last time she had attended a wedding. She had not known the bride that well and was quite surprised to receive that cream and golden lined invitation. She was apprehensive about attending, but the thought of declining was a last resort. She remembered the church, with the long aisles and pews filled both sides. The bride was blushingly beautiful, and Bella achingly uncomfortable. She had hated the whole ordeal. Not because there was anything wrong with the wedding, it was just the whole process in general. The vows were the worst. She wondered if the groom was lying through his teeth as he promised to love and cherish his bride. The wedding was just a big reminder of what could have happened. A married life with James. She thought of the wedding dress she had left behind. Growing dusty and grey without ever being worn. Maybe James had given it to his new bride. If he had one. She tried to picture her life as if she had never left. All she saw was bruises, fiery eyes and anger. It had been the right decision to leave. But sometimes, she wondered if it was her fault the way James had become.

Bella sighed and walked out of the aisle to finish up the last of the books. She checked the last of the pile and made her way to the Sci-Fi section. She heard the bell above the entrance door tinge, letting her know another customer had arrived.

"I'll be with you in a moment" she called out. She heard no reply from the customer and frowned. She was sure she heard the bell go. She started to make her way towards the desk when a man appeared at the entrance to the aisle.

Edward.

Bella felt her stomach flip, her insides twist as her eyes took him in. Messy hair and bright green eyes.

He smiles and it's everything and more.

"What are you doing here?"

She cringed inside at her harsh accusation but he did not even flinch. Her remarks and tone seemed to have no effect on him what so ever.

"To see you." he said grinning, and she felt the corners of her mouth twitch. She heard whispers of encouragement in her head, smile at him and don't be so cruel, but she pushed them away.

"Why?"

"Don't tell me you've forgotten our deal already?" he teased and Bella hesitated.

"Look about that..." she took a deep breath before speaking, "I think we just leave it."

Edward frowned slightly, "What?"

"You don't know me," she said quietly after staring at his confused expression.

"I'd like to."

Edward took a tentative step forward.

"Why would you say that?" Bella crossed her arms over her chest, feeling protective of herself.

"Because I want to know you, inside and out"

Another cautious step brought him closer and yet she could not find the desire or courage to move.

"What if I don't want you too?"

His smile is beautiful and reassuring. She wonders if another woman gets to see those smiles. Are they all for her? It's a hopeful smile, one wishing that she'll let him in.

"Tough. I've already begun."

Bella's eyes widened and she felt the panic. The nerves and the need to run.

"You can't. I won't let you."

She couldn't breathe. She couldn't let him in. But he was already slowly moving towards her.

"Bella...it's ok."

Her fear was gripping and tight. She squeezed her eyes shut, blackness covering the vision of him. How could she refuse him when she saw that face? Those eyes and that smile.

She can feel him in front of her now. Goosebumps and hair raised on her arms. His breath on the top of her head.

"We'll keep it simple."

His fingers gently brushed her hand, silently promising and comforting. Her hand relaxes and his hand slips into hers. She had always wondered how it would feel. His large one engulfed her small, and yet she felt safe.

His head bent and he felt his lips at her ear, "You don't have to be afraid anymore."

Her eyes shot open as she felt a deep seated anger rise, "I'm not afraid." She said sharply. Her gaze meeting his. Their noses were touching and she felt a deep pull to touch him, to lean in and be wrapped up in warmth. Her body was fighting against herself. How could she let herself be with him? She was incapable of so much. Fear had an icy clench on her heart and love had left long ago. She had nothing to give.

"Then why won't you let me in?" he whispered and she looked away. How could she look at him and see everything.

"There is nothing to know or see...you don't understand."

His hand gripped hers tighter, "Help me to understand...let me understand Bella please."

"I'm empty" she said in her usual monotone voice. Detached.

Edward's harsh intake of breath let her know that he severely disagreed. "You…are…not empty." He said emphasizing each word sharply.

"You may be lost, but you're not hollow."

"That's not for you to decide." She whispered back shakily.

"Maybe not…but I can see Bella. Somewhere there's something deep down."

"And why is it your concern? I don't know you, we've barely just met. Who are you to make such judgements?" she snapped and as always he did not even flinch or blink an eye. He was immune.

"Because I care!"

"I'm not worth it." She whispered sadly as her nose brushed his.

Both their eyes were open as they looked at each other. Green to Brown.

He smiled slightly; the corners lifting as he carefully tucked a piece of hair behind her ear that had fallen.

"Oh Bella…now that is something I get to decide."

Edward leaned in closer and Bella felt her mind scream to move away whereas her body tilted towards him, needing and wanting the contact. All her instincts were shouting at her to let him be close. Their breath mingled together as his lips brushed hers softly. They tingled from the light contact and the sweetness of a kiss that she had been wanting. A kiss she had not experienced for years.

Seeing no hesitation, Edward went back for more, his lips pressing more firmly against her own. They felt soft and tasted of him. She quickly realised she could kiss him forever. For once in her life, all the control she had kept so hard to maintain faded away as she lost herself to the beautiful man in the place she loved the most.

His tongue slowly peeped out and she automatically inched her mouth open wider to let him in. She did not think about anything else. Her head was clouded with Edward and the feelings this kiss was erupting from her. Emotions that had been locked away were starting to stir, and the ice on her heart began to thaw slightly. His hand gently cupped the left side of her head as his other hand continued to hold hers tightly in his own. She finally felt safe and at peace. For this moment she did not have a care in the world. She did not fight it simply because she did not want too. She had had enough of fighting. Time to put down the armour for a while. This was the direct entrance to her soul. To the dark depths that needed some light. And he was opening it by initiating something so intimate.

Angela was right, she was so right. And so was he.

Eventually, the kiss slowed and Edward pulled away. Hesitation and uncertainty in his eyes at how she was going to react. But he must have been happy with what he saw, because he smiled so brilliantly.

And he laughed quietly. A real happy one against her mouth and it tickled. She could feel the corners of her own mouth twitching and for once, she felt she could truly smile if she really wanted too.

So she did. And it was glorious.

Yes i'm leaving you with a cliffhanger...mwahahaha ;)