Haha, what was it, Tuesday while I was working, this guy comes to my line with his girlfriend or his mom… or was it his wife? I'm not sure but he asks me questions like if I know a guy named "Little Daniel," which now that I think about it, I do know a guy named Daniel, but that's beside the point, he called "Little Daniel" a stalker.

When I said, "No I don't think so." He stopped asking me questions, I finish sacking their bags which was only a one bag job with a box of beer. (Hence me questioning his age,) so as he's leaving he gives me a piece of paper and says "Call me" so as he leaves I turned to the Cashier and said. "That guy totally just gave me his number!"

She looked at me, then back at the guy who was half way across the store by then and said "he looks way too old to be giving you his number, he's like what? Twenty something?" I shrugged and she asked how old I was. So I told her my age. She asked if I wanted her to throw away his number.

I said "Nah, I'll give it to my little sister, she can creep the flip nuggets out of him." Then I turned to my friend who was on the line next to me and I told her the same thing, we both broke out laughing! It was so weird! The name on the number is Mikey!

Then she started to sing "Oh Mikey, your so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind hey Mikey, hey, hey, hey Mikey!" So I think I have a new Stalker… go me =(

On a brighter note! I've become obsessed with Fall out Boy and Panic! At the Disco!

Disclaimer: I do NOT Own Katekyo Hitman Reborn! (Did anyone else feel like crying when Jager totally K.O'd Squalo with one hit? I hope Squalo lives!)

Chapter 13: Verde's midlife crisis!

The all mighty Lightning Arcobaleno stood in the auditorium staring at his lighting students as they complained about not understanding anything he was saying. Besides Spanner, who nodded along with everything he had said, the science fair was coming up soon, and he wanted to be ready for it. This year Chaos Academy was going to be hosting it, and he wanted to make sure every single thing was perfect. If this is a complete success then Verde could be getting a scholar ship to the school of his choice. Of course, he has been accepted into every school across the world.

Besides the one school he really wants to go to happens to be in the United States. Clearing his throat he began to pace the stage again. "What don't you idiots understand? This year's science fair is going to be hailed by Chaos Academy, we have to make this the best damn science fair there has ever been, and as such the Lightning Dorm is in charge of setting the place up!"

"Haru-San doesn't care for the science fair though!" Haru complained. Verde glared at her.

"Don't talk in the third person around me idiot girl." He snapped with a glare.

"Hahi, Haru-San apologizes!" She held back tears, her Sempai was so mean!

Verde shook his head and then looked at the time, "it's late, go back to your dorm rooms. We will start decorating the cafeteria tomorrow."

They nodded and went to their rooms.

Verde waiting till they were gone let out a long sign, and went to the Arcobaleno room to tell them about the game plan. He had a notebook out and he was writing stuff that ran though his mind.

He stopped at the Arcobaleno room and before he could open the door he saw a fedora lying on the ground. "Why is there a fedora on the ground?" He asked himself as he picked the fedora up; he noticed a trail of fedoras leading away from the Arcobaleno room. He had a bad feeling about this. He followed the trail anyways picking the fedoras up as he went.

"Damn that reborn, always leaving his Fedoras laying around the school, and he wonders why he's always losing them and why there's always traffic in the halls." Verde started to grumble to himself as he walked.

The students who were walking around the halls before curfew, started at Verde as if he had finally lost it. Verde walked to his dorm and straight to his room picking Fedoras up.

He held a blank look on his face as he stared at the door. He had a terrible feeling on what is on the other side. Letting out a soft breath he took his keys out, unlocked the door and opened it.

Reborn laid there in a sexy pose, in nothing but lingerie… black lacy lingerie. "Did you get that from Luce?" Verde asked in a blank tone as he looked down at Reborn.

He winked and shook his head, "Of course not, Luce's were too big, and Lal's as well. They belong to Viper~" Verde stared at Reborn a horrid look on his face.

"It has lingerie?"

"She, and yes she does, do you know how hard it was for me to get this? I even offered to pay her but get this; she turned me down saying she would never accept money to sell her undergarments. So we did the next best thing. We sent Fon in. All he had to do was give her the puppy dog eyes and say in his oh so sexy Chinese accent. 'Qing kui she.' She melted as if it was nothing." Reborn sat up straight and crossed his freshly waxed legs.

"Why are you wearing that…in my room…lying on my bed like a tramp?"

"Because baby, I know you have been under some serious stress lately with the science fair, and I know none of the girls would be willing to fuck you, so come here big stuff, get yourself a piece of Reborn~" He replied in a sly tone. Verde held his blank look.

"This is totally going to work, Kora." Colonnello whispered to Fon, the two sat in the darkest corner of the room with a video camera. They were going to put the video on MafiaTube.

Fon shook his head, "Shh Colonnello be quiet or they will hear us."

Colonnello apologized as he covered his lips and looked at the two. Verde glanced at the two, shaking his head, stupid juniors and sophomore. He walked over to Reborn, a forced smile on his face. "Oh Reborn, I have something for you." He said in a sweet tone that made them all shiver with fear. Verde was having a pissed off Luce moment, that only Verde and Bermuda seem to have when they get pissed. Luce taught them well.

"What is it? Is it a ring?" Reborn had wide eyes that seemed to sparkle as he looked up at Verde. The senior grinned.

"No, guess again."

"Is it a new gun?"

"No," Verde held a devilish grin on his face at that very moment.

"What is it my love?"

"It's this." He said as he threw the fedoras at him. "TAKE YOUR FUCKING FEDORAS AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM, FON, COLONNELLO YOU TWO GET OUT AS WELL!" The three made a run for it.

Verde chuckled as he watched the three boys run. Walking to the window he watched as Reborn ran across the filed in NOTHING but Viper's lingerie. Bel and Mammon who happened to be walking to the Storm dorm stopped, Mammon turned red while Bel looked green.

"Reborn doesn't pull that off… Mammon why is your face red?"

"Bel, promised me you will never ask to wear female lingerie." Bel now gave her a rather confused look. "It's a long story; I promise you will never hear it." Bel shrugged and watched Reborn.

"Who knew Reborn would be a Lussuria; I bet Luce is crushed to know her boyfriend is gay."

"The correct term for Reborn is Bisexual." She told him. Bel chuckled and took her hand.

"Shall we go, the movie you wanted to see just came in the mail, and I made sure Siel is busy as well." He chuckled. Mammon shrugged and continued on their way. Verde was laughing the whole time.

"Is Reborn flirting with you my dear?" Luce's voice called as she walked into his room and rested against the window to watch, "that's my Reborn, always trying to be funny." Verde shook his head.

"Your man toy is weird." He told her. She nodded and patted his head.

"Thank you. Well, I am well aware of your plans for the science fair, don't worry; I'll make sure everyone has it under control. It will be the best there is." She smiled, patting Verde's shoulder as she left.

Verde turned back to the window, and then something came to his mind. "Do they really not see me like that?" He asked himself as he remembered what Reborn had said, was he not likeable? He was…wasn't he? "LUCE!" he called after her. She was down the hall when she stopped and turned to look at him.

"Yes?"

He pushed his glasses up, "am I a person a female would be willing to share intercourse with?"

Luce turned red, "w-w-what? Where did you hear that you aren't? I mean um." She didn't know what to say, her face was bright red and she was looking around. She was trying to find someone to save her from this question of all questions. "Ah look a freshmen is calling me, see you!" She quickly fled. Verde frowned.

"That answers that question." He shook his head and walked into his room slamming the door shut. Oh how it was hard being in the same group with a hot Asian, a sexy hitman, and a Kora bastard who had a nice six pack. While he was a simple nerd who happened to be in shape, he just didn't fight or show what he had.

The next morning instead of going to the Arcobaleno class like he normally would do, he went to Lambo's room. The teen had only been here for three days, and he has already been late for all of his classes all three days. Knocking on the door he waited for what felt like hours. When the door finally opened to show Lambo in his cow print pajamas, he let out a yawn.

"Yare, Yare, lightning man, I'm trying to sleep." He replied in a bored voice. Verde narrowed his eyes.

"Never mind this was a stupid idea."

"There was a reason you came to me Lightning man?" Lambo asked surprised enough he opened both eyes.

"Never mind Lambo, don't be late to class. It looks bad on me whenever you're late." He said as he turned, and went to leave. Lambo grabbed Verde's wrist.

"Does the Arcobaleno need help? I'm all ears." Verde glared. "Usually when people come to me it's because they are looking for lady advice or a fashion sense, which you don't have." Lambo said. Verde glared again.

"I wear the school uniform just like everyone else."

"You also wear a lab coat all the time." Verde held a finger up with narrowed eyes.

"Don't dis the lab coat freshmen." He snapped. Lambo yawned.

"It's simple; if you want babes just act like me."

"I haven't never once seen you with any girls since you have been to this school." Verde said in a blank tone. Lambo chuckled.

"Just unbutton your shirt slightly and don't leave your jacket complete undone besides one button. Then simply act like you don't care, don't bore anyone with your talk about being smarter then everyone. Act calm, cool and collected" Lambo said as if he didn't really care.

Verde stared at Lambo, amazed by his attitude. "Can I experiment on you?" Lambo frowned as he shook his head and looked at the time.

"I might as well get ready, I'm already wide awake. Thank you Arcobaleno." Lambo closed the door and went to get ready for school. Verde decided to take the young lightning's advice. Oh how the Arcobaleno and school were in for a wild surprise.

"Has anyone seen Verde?" Luce asked as she set the tea set on the table for the day. She seemed worried. Was it because she blew him off of his question last night?

"I haven't seen or heard of him since he kicked me out of his room last night." Reborn cried fake tears. Luce patted his head.

"Why the hell were you in Verde's room last night?" Lal asked eyeing the hitman.

"I was going to help him become a man!" Reborn exclaimed with a serious look.

"I now question you." Mammon replied making sure she wasn't close to Reborn, "by the way if I knew that was what you were going to use them for I wouldn't have agreed to Fon." She now blushed as she turned away from Reborn.

"What did he do? And what was it?" Lal asked looking at Mammon.

"I don't want to talk about it." The blush grew.

"Oh Lal, you should have been there, it was so much fun, I got Viper's sexy black lingerie and I waxed my legs… that shit hurts by the way." Reborn complained. Mammon was now bright red while Lal stared with wide eyes, her jaw hit the table. "It was worth it, I almost turned Verde into a man!" Reborn then exclaimed.

"V-V-Verde?" They turned to see Verde walk in. he looked…different. He had his shirt undone slightly his chest slightly exposed, and his jacket wasn't on right. He left the lab coat he always had on at his room as well as his glasses. Get this, his hair was STRAIGHT! It was so un-Verde like it scared them.

"Damn." Luce said completely forgetting about the tea she was pouring. "SHIT!" She quickly cleaned it before a stain could set into the floor.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO YOU?"

"Viper, is this an illusion? Is someone trying to fuck with us? It's Mukuro Rokudo isn't it?"

"No, it's not Rokudo, this isn't an illusion…" Mammon trailed off as she looked at Verde, he was…whoa.

Taking his seat Verde held a bored look on his face. As if he didn't care. "Hey buddy… t-t-this isn't a midlife crisis or something is it? You're only eighteen…" Reborn trailed off staring at Verde.

"Whatever." Verde replied, folding his arms behind his head and leaned back in his seat.

"Verde, where are your glasses? You're completely blind without them." Luce held a worried look on her face as she looked at her friend. Verde turned to look at her.

"Contacts," he replied in a bored tone.

"When did you get contacts, Kora?"

"I've had them, never wanted to wear them." He said. They stared at him.

"All right, who the fuck are you and what did you do to the real Verde?" Bermuda of all people asked, wanting his friend back.

"Um, shall we continue with today's meeting…?" Luce suddenly asked with a frown, she turned to Verde. "Science fair set up, how do you want it?" Verde shrugged, not really caring.

"Do whatever you want."

The room grew silent, Luce let out a sigh, "Right, how abut we talk about this after school, off to class you all go!" She shooed everyone off. Well really she shooed Verde off. "Reborn this is your entire fault!" Luce shouted throwing a boot at him… Mammon's boot to be correct.

"Hey!" Mammon complained, and she didn't even know how Luce got a hold of her boot to begin with! When did she take it off? Looking under the table she was completely flabbergasted. "Next time ask before you take my boots to throw at Reborn, that is something I'll be willing to do." She grinned. Luce laughed.

"All right love," the two girls smiled as they turned to look at Reborn with a glare. "This is your fault; it has Reborn written all over it. HOW COULD YOU BREAK VERDE LIKE THAT? HE WAS DOING JUST FINE BEFORE YOU TRIED TO SEDUCE HIM… oh my… that sounds so wrong…" Luce frowned.

"Luce's boyfriend is gay~" Skull sung around the room like an idiot. Colonnello and Reborn kicked him throw the window. "AHHH LOOKS LIKE I'M BLASTING OFF AGAIN!"

"YOUR NOT TEAM ROCKET!" Reborn shouted.

"Oh…oh dude, nerd alert…Kora."

"What did I say?" Reborn asked confused.

"Never mind…" Reborn frowned.

"Fuck this, I'm going to class." Reborn stood. "Alaude will kill me if I'm late, later bitches." With that Reborn was gone.

Colonnello, Bermuda, and Fon soon left after, leaving only Luce, Lal, Aria, Mammon, and Yuni. The girls turned to look at each other.

"Please tell me I wasn't the only one staring?" Aria frowned. Gamma would be so crushed if he found out.

"Oh mama was staring." Luce said with a blank look on her face, "and mama liked."

"No comment." Mammon said covering her face with her hood.

"I see him as a brother, so it didn't faze me at all." Yuni giggled.

"I never say this, but damn, Verde's hot." Lal of all people said. It made them gasp slightly, but they did agree with her.

"Who knew Verde could pull off the hot dumb type?"

"Who knew he could pull off the dumb type to begin with?" Mammon was amazed; Verde seemed to amaze her to this very day. "I think I'm going to ditch class today." They waved as they watched Mammon leave.

"I'm going to the gym, make those juniors train like there's no fucking tomorrow." Lal grumbled as she went to her favorite class.

"Bye Luce-Nee, Aria-Nee." Yuni smiled as she ran off to her first hour. Luce let out a sigh as she went to her still destroyed English class.

Primo had been watching over his students, he was sad when the top student in the school had gone downhill, ditching class, not showing up for meeting. He has even been hitting on all the female students and staff… this was not the Verde he knew and loved.

Finally he decided to have a word with the Arcobaleno, and find out why this is going on. "Why hello Giotto how are you today?" Luce asked in a happy voice that his the sadness perfectly.

"I want to talk about Verde."

"We don't want to talk about Verde!" Mammon snapped. Giotto was extremely confused, all the girls seemed…. Pissed off, or embarrassed for some odd reason.

"What did he do?" Giotto asked. "Did he hit on you like he did with the other female students and staff?" He walked to Mammon and sat beside her, placing his arm around her shoulder. She slapped his arm away.

"He has completely turned me off of men!" Giotto gave her a worried look.

"Wait...Viper are you now a… a…"

"Lesbian…" Mammon stared at the worried look on Giotto's look. She decided to mess with him. "Yes." She replied, Giotto paled then shook it off, nodding.

"Right, that is okay, we will not judge you Viper, we will support you a hundred present. Just like we do for Lussuria." Giotto placed a hand on her shoulder, "how is Belphegor going to take this? He will be so crushed, oh all the work we put into you two finally getting together, that was our dream, our life goal! Even Alaude helped!"

"Well he will have to get over it… wait…what?" All the Arcobaleno stared at Giotto with a confused look on their face.

"Um, I mean… so about that Verde problem…"

"It was your dream… your life goal is to get me and Bel together… you know we were still never together, all we did was see a movie…"

"Viper, this isn't about you, this is about Verde!" Giotto snapped, they narrowed their eyes.

"Right… we will get back to the Viper and Bel thing after the Verde thing… WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH VERDE?" Reborn shouted. Giotto glared.

"Watch your language Reborn."

"Yes sir."

"Primo, I'm worry about my Verde; he has never once acted like this, even in grade school! He was all about science."

"That is why I came here damnit! What the heck happened while I was gone on a very important boss meeting?"

"You went to Hawaii! We got the post card from G. who said 'HAHAHA BITCHES!' in the mail last week, Kora!"

"COLONNELLO, STOP SAYING KORA AND STOP SHOUTING IT IN MY FUCKING EAR!" Lal screamed as she grabbed Colonnello's shirt and fan-slapped him.

Giotto shook his head, "we think its cause Reborn went to his room the other night and tried to have sex with him." Luce frowned.

Giotto turned to face Reborn, a horrid look on his face, "Reborn… why would you cheat on Luce like that!"

"She said it was all right though~" Reborn whined.

"When the fuck did I say that?"

"When you were drunk the other night," Reborn grinned as he held up a tape recorder and hit play.

"Re-re-Reborn, you know what you need to do?" A drunken Luce's voice was heard.

"What is that my love?" a sober Reborn asked.

"You…you should… are you listening to me? This is important… it's really important."

"I'm listening Luce." Reborn said, he sounded like he had a smile.

"You know how Verde is always so strict and has so much sexual tension and stuff like that?"

"Where are you going with this my dear?"

"You, should totally get someone to give him a good fuckin' he needs it!" She laughed.

"I'll see what I can do honey."

"Good, now come here you."

They then heard moans and groans. Reborn quickly turned the recorder off. "I didn't know it was still recording…" He blushed.

"Why was Luce drunk?" Giotto asked, "Why were you two having sex… please tell me it wasn't on school grounds…"

"Um, sure, we will go with a cheap hotel."

"Wait, you took me to a cheap hotel? Am I not good enough for an expensive hotel?" Luce had that look on her face. "You know what, I think I want to go out with Viper, she's cuter then you, and she makes cute sounds when you grope her unlike you."

"WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS YOU?" Mammon screamed as she covered her breasts. "I can never look at you the same again."

"Shut up, you're a lesbian you know you liked it." Luce said ignoring the hurt look on Mammon's face.

"I'm going to the Varia!" She snapped standing and leaving.

"You are one fucked up family." Giotto said with a blank look on his face.

"Bye Giotto-San~" Luce giggled as Giotto left. "Oh wait, wasn't he here for something?"

"Verde." Lal said in a blank voice. "Do you think Viper really changed because of Verde…? Luce were you serious about going to Viper? I mean… this is news to me."

"Oh it was just an act, I loved the look on Viper's cute little face, besides, and she was fucking with Giotto."

"Oh." Lal shrugged it off. "Verde has become a bigger troll than normal."

"What has Verde done to you girls?" Fon asked a frown on his face.

"He groped me the bastard!" Lal shouted. Colonnello shot up.

"HE DID WHAT?" He shouted a glare on his face.

"He. Groped. Me." Lal said as if it was nothing. She was used to men trying to grope at five people had successfully groped her. Those people were, Reborn. Colonnello, Fon, Verde…and yes even Luce.

"Did it feel better than when I grope you, Kora?"

"Oh no Colonnello, the person who has the perfect grope out of all five of you, was Luce." Luce cheered. "I swear! Luce and Reborn are swingers." The two grinned.

"Only for you baby, only for you." They said in unison. It scared the others.

"I feel scared to be alone in the same room as Reborn now." Fon said with a frown.

"Don't worry Fon; I won't rape you while you're awake… I'll rape you while you sleep." Fon paled.

"Reborn really does scare me half the time, Kora."

"Yeah…change of subject."

The door suddenly opened and Verde walked in with like five freshmen girls. They stared at him. "Verde, no bring tramps into my room!" Luce screamed.

"Luce-nee… these girls are my friends from fifth hour…" Yuni frowned.

Luce frowned, "Sorry, Verde no bring freshmen into my room!"

"See you later girls." The girls giggled at how cool Verde sounded so un-Verde like. They turned and left giggling the whole time.

"Verde, explain yourself." Luce snapped.

Verde shrugged. "Don't feel like it."

"But the science fair is about to come to an end and you haven't done anything, the school of your choice is on the line!"

Verde hesitated then shrugged. "So?"

"Don't you want to go to this school? It has been your dream school since we were in daycare!" Luce exclaimed.

"Whatever." Luce shook her head.

"You just need a good fuck, Reborn, get on it." Reborn scanned Verde up and down.

"I'll pass, I don't like this Verde, and nerdy Verde was hotter." Reborn said.

They stared at Reborn, "what?" Verde asked, and a vein popped in his forehead. "You what?"

"Think nerd Verde is hotter." Reborn replied. Verde snapped, he ran his fingers through his hair and looked like he was about to pull it out.

"DAMN IT REBORN I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU! AND THE ONLY PERSON WHO WILL BE WINNING THAT SCIENCE FAIR IS THIS GUY RIGHT HERE! SEE YOU LATER BITCH, VERDE IS BACK!" Verde screamed as he somehow was back in his normal outfit and he went to the science fair.

"OUR VERDE IS BACK!" they screamed.

"Ah, my plan worked perfectly, I mean after the fact that he probably scared Viper, he groped Lal, and spanked Luce." Reborn said looking at Luce and Lal.

"I was a bad girl…" Luce purred.

"You're damn right you're a bad girl." Reborn growled. "I might have to punish you later."

"MOVING ON!" Lal shouted. Reborn nodded fixing his tie.

"He fucked the school over, and well almost lost the science fair, but if it wasn't for me acting bi he would have never had the chance to feel so alive like he did." They glared at Reborn as he grinned and turned on his heels to go to Mammon. "I'll tell Viper it's over and she can stop acting gay for Giotto~"

They looked at each other than agreed to never speak of this ever again.

So yeah, this was Random Chapter; it's not in the main story line! So Sammy and I were talking about something like this the other day, what Verde would do for a midlife crisis or something like that, well you know what I realized Thursday night. That it was almost Saturday and Sunday and I don't have any Chapters beside this chapter.

Haha my bad, I AM NOT TRYING TO OFFEND ANYONE! PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT ME!

The next chapter might not be posted tomorrow I had completely forgot about it, and well, I'll post it as soon as I can.

Please R&R