It was as bad as Bilbo had feared. Thorin had shunned him, and he was not to speak unless spoken to until the dwarf had decided what to do with him. The others were following suit, and though he did have a few sympathetic looks thrown his way, in the end none were impressed at being fooled.

His hopes to just be allowed to go with Gandalf was now a dwindling dream in the face of the dark menace approaching them. This was no goblin group chasing them around a mountain, this was all the goblins from everywhere, come to have their revenge on the dwarfs that killed their King, resolved to win dominion of the North, Gandalf said.

Under their feet the mountain shook. Smaug, still at it. Better if they had succumbed to his flames when he was chasing them...oh. He bit his lip. It would work. Why wouldn't it work. Smaug had decimated a whole city, warriors fleeing before him. Why wouldn't it work?

He cornered him, finally finding him away from the others after nearly an hour of stalking. "Kili."

"Mister Baggins."

"Kili please it is Bilbo. I am sorry I got you punished."

"I seem to remember you did not push me to do anything and you got punished fairly thoroughly yourself."

"Still…"

"Why did you do it?"

"Sm—"

"Not Smaug! Spite, you said."

Bilbo nodded. "Spite. The first day. You were all laughing at me. Then embarrassment when your uncle smacked me, how to say it then?! Then it was nice to be cared for, it's been ever so long since I had family and I wanted to be a part of one just for a little while." He swiped at his tears, angry at himself for crying yet again. "It went on too long and I didn't know how to stop it or confess so I made myself a promise I would do it at the mountain."

"Are you surprised that we are upset at you?"

No. He wasn't. "It doesn't matter now, does it? We will all die tomorrow."

"We might not. Uncle Dain is coming."

"They will not be enough." Fili said from behind Bilbo, making him skitter away in fright at his harsh tone. "What are you on about Bilbo."

"I came to apologise…"

"No. You might not be so young but you are very transparent. You want something from Kili here, what is it." He advanced to tower over Bilbo. "Smaug again?"

"He didn't force me to try for Smaug, Fili."

"No. He did not, but the thought was his and I am not impressed at all. An adult would have known better."

"I'm only five years younger than you, so you do not have to pretend you are so wise!"

"Brother. Answer me this. Would I have gone with Bilbo here to kill Smaug on my very own? If the answer is yes then I will step away and let Bilbo pull you into his latest scheme."

"I don't have—" Bilbo tried to deny but was cut down as fast as he spoke.

"No more lies!"

Bilbo nearly swallowed his tongue. Fili was going to be a great Thorin. He hunched in on himself and let the brothers at it.

"Well Kili?"

Kili ignored him to turn to Bilbo instead, eyes blazing hurt, "So your apology was not an apology, it was because you wanted something?"

"No. Both. Please Kili...I know how we can save us."

"I don't want to know, if it can save us then tell Uncle!"

"I'm not allowed to speak to him!"

"Fine. This will be good. Let's have it."

"We free Smaug."

Xxx

"Uncle, you have to hear this."

Of course Fili would take him to Thorin. What did he expect. No one liked him anymore.

They hated his plan too.

Xxx

Two days later they were back in their sunny spot. Spread out, tired and dirty. Soon someone would get up and go wash in the river and the rest will follow.

The only difference today was their view. Instead of stark burnt countryside it was now filled with burnt corpses, a gruesome sight, for Smaug had done his job very well. Dain's soldiers were moving fallen bodies away, there will be a mass grave, and amazingly not one dwarf had fallen.

Dain's army had stayed behind the eastern mountain range while Smaug decimated their enemies, and Thorin and his group had hid inside The Gate, not letting any goblins find shelter in their mountains.

For one day and one night, they had stood their ground, all Dwalin's practice sessions had paid off and Bilbo fought right alongside them with a warrior's fervor. And when the time came, Kili and Fili sent mithril arrows up to finish off what the goblins had tried to do, tried for none of their spears could pierce the diamond hard scales. Smaug fell, thanks to Bilbo finding a weak spot with his sharp hobbit eyes, a bare patch on the left side of his chest.

"I have a theory about our Mister Baggins." Fili mused, raising his face to get more sun. It was itchy from blood, some his own and he should go wash soon. As soon as his limbs had stopped trembling, stopped celebrating their relief at still being alive.

Thorin was quick on it. "He is not our anything."

"He is probably our saviour, Uncle. If not for his little plan we would be dead…"

"If we followed his plan we would still be dead."

"His idea then. Our plan." Fili agreed. They had expanded quite a bit on Bilbo's idea. Sent warning to Dain to stay back but keep ready, for Smaug was not going to pick and choose between goblins and dwarfs on the battlefield. They forged new, stronger arrows, and had Gandalf assist in getting the timing of Smaug's release just right, letting the dragon give them another chase through the mountain, straight to the gate where the horde had been close enough to knock. "That is actually what made me think of this."

"I am not interested—" Thorin started only to be thumped by Dwalin.

"Hear him out. I am tired of your sulking face, your highness." He thumped him again for good measure. "His too."

They all turned their eyes to where Bilbo was sat aside, leaning exhausted into Gandalf. He was unaware of their attention and looked near sleep, but Gandalf turned his head curiously to them, as he spoke all languages known.

"Fine. Tell us then nephew."

"As I see it there are two possible answers. We all know dwarfs that are slow to mature. Maybe they are naturally childish like Uncle Aggi or maybe, like Kili here, we like to keep them young and carefree so we don't give them responsibilities and cause them to stay younger than their age?"

"Hey!" Kili protested but Fili wrestled him into a headlock and told him to hush.

"If you were upset with me, Uncle, then I would go to Uncle Dwalin with my plan, not to Kili, I will not be asking him to have a secret digging session during the night and surprise everyone with Smaug."

"Thank you very much." Kili sniffed. "I might have referred him to—"

"Really?"

"Probably not." He sighed. "It would look good to jump out with Smaug when you all were ready to throw yourselves at the goblin's mercy."

"Idiot." He rubbed his knuckles hard over Kili scalp. "Has anyone of you seen any adult behavior during our travels that made you think he was pretending to be a child?"

"He learned to fight…" Dwalin started but Fili flapped his hands at that. Everyone, adult or child can learn to fight.

"The other option is, and I can't say for sure because we've really just met this one hobbit, but maybe they never grow up? They are child sized, could it be they are also child minded and they just think they are adults? What say you Gandalf? Are all hobbits children?"

"No. They would have died out as a race if that was the case."

"Why did you not tell us that fifty counts as adult under them?" Dwalin asked finally.

"I thought it might be good for him. It all worked out well enough, he had a family for a while and now I will take him back to his home." He blew a smoke ring in the shape of a pony and watched it gallop away. "It's up to you if he leaves in disgrace, or if you can find it in yourselves to forgive him. He did prove to be a valuable member of the party either way, did he not? Gave you something to bond over, to consider safety in your travels for, and his plan, silly or not, will be the reason the North is going to be ever in the dwarfs' debt. You've rid the area of a dangerous enemy without any help from Elves or Man, something even I had not thought possible."

"Yes." Fili tried to get them back to the point before pride at their accomplishment derailed them. "So then he is just slow to mature and still need guidance like certain dwarfs we know?"

"If you're talking about me, I am five years younger than you only, that is adult even if you agree or not!"

"No one is asking you to rush into adulthood Kili, stay young as long as you can," Thorin told him. "It is not a bad thing to be — oh for Mahal's sake." Again the group turned as one to look at Bilbo.

Fili released his brother and sat back, his job done.

Xxx

"Let's get clean." Thorin stood up and ordered his company, "Wash up and let Oin tend your wounds."

He crossed to where Gandalf sat and Bilbo shrank into the wizard's side when his shadow fell over them, but he leaned down and picked Bilbo up easily, a move well practiced in their last months. They would pick a sleepy Bilbo from pony to bed, piggyback a tired Bilbo when he could not walk one more step in their pony-less march down a dark forest path, carry a chastised Bilbo back to camp. Bilbo, having suddenly forgotten all that, flailed in surprise, and he had to juggle him a moment before he finally latched onto his neck. "How do you manage to still look pristine, Gandalf, you fought as hard as anyone else here."

"A wizard does not divulge his secrets to mere dwarfs. I might tell you this much perhaps... It. Is. Magic." He smiled at his own joke and Thorin snorted at him. "Where are you taking my little friend to? Last I've seen he was not in your good graces, your highness."

"A wash and a talk. Do you protest?"

He did not. Not that he would have cared much if Gandalf had. As much as they liked their venerable friend there was only so much interference a dwarf would accept and he carried Bilbo off to the stream. Well maybe he would have cared some. Gandalf can be scary after all.

"Talk?" Bilbo worried in his ear.

"You don't want to?"

"I do!"

"That's good."

"I don't!"

"That's not good."

"Nothing is good." Bilbo sniffed and clutched his neck very tight. "It's all so horrible."

"Is that so?"

No answer.

He took Bilbo to the spot he remembered from his own childhood, gathering their packs on the way. It was a little bit secluded, the flow having carved a shallow bathing nook for young dwarfs, and he remembered fondly the endless hot summers spent splashing about with his siblings and cousins.

"Strip." He put Bilbo down on the bank. Before, there used to be a soft grass cover to sun themselves dry in, now it was barren sand. "Let's get clean."

"Can we not talk first?"

In answer Thorin turned him by the arm and smacked the back of his leg. "It's never a request, Bilbo."

"Ow!" He hopped a few feet away, just out of reach and rubbed the spot before turning his attention to his shirt buttons. "But it might be sometimes!"

"Is that what you want?"

"I don't know."

"Come here."

He followed the order quickly now, leaving the button he had been struggling with, to go stand in front of Thorin and tellingly set his hands to cover his bottom. Thorin just took over the button, it was stuck fast to the cloth by dried blood. Why had they not checked him over for wounds yet… "Did you get hurt?"

"You didn't smack so hard," Bilbo sulked, very much interested in digging his toes into the sand.

"I know how hard my smack was, I was talking about the fight. You put up a very good show for your size." He was going to rip the cloth, that won't do. It will be months still until they had good trade to go about ripping clothes. "This will not do, raise your arms, we'll remove it that way." He promptly did so and stared foolishly at the mithril armour it revealed. "What's that?"

"Bifur put it on me last night! I didn't steal it!"

"I didn't ask if you stole it, I was just surprised. Calm down." Calm down yourself too your highness, you thought he stole it. "I know you won't steal."

"I did the Arkenstone, though."

"Arms up." He removed the mithril also. "It's probably good you did, we were all under its thrall, I was ready to kill for it." He turned Bilbo to and fro, checking for wounds, making him grab his bottom in reflex. Good. A little bit of suffering for all he put them through. But he had been suffering for two days now, when should it stop, Thorin? He would have a few good bruises from their war, Oin's balm would take care of that. He would also thank Bifur later, one bruise was right over his heart..."At the very least it is still in the mountain, the heart returned to it, so it is not as bad as it would be if say you had given it away."

"I wouldn't have!"

"That's good. New rule if you are going to live with us, no sticky fingers. It seems you are half dwarf already if shiny things talk to you. So take heart, listen well, I will not have you learn Nori's ways, you will stand for a month if I catch you doing any such nonsense again." He stripped Bilbo's trousers off and saw with some relief that also there was no wounds, some stripes left from his and Kili's strapping the other day only. He swung him into the pool, the water reaching just below his hips.

Bilbo seemed at a loss for words, then finally he burst out, "But you can't spank me I'm not a child!"

"Well then we would have to chop off your hand instead, either way your place is here if you want it."

"How come Nori still has his hands then."

"We do not chop hands off, I was joking." Thorin sighed, it seemed there was no lightening the mood yet. "We jail our thieves, ask him how that feels then if you are planning to lead a life of crime."

"I'm not! I can work! You need farms, I can start a farm."

"It is a myth that dwarfs only mine, you know. We had farms all around the mountain, our own farmers took care of it...it was greener than anything." He stripped his own clothes and joined Bilbo in the water, pulling him closer to start soaping an arm. At his bemused little face he sighed and pressed the soapy bag into his small hand so he could do it himself. It was going to be difficult for a while until they broke the habit, it had been nice to spoil the little hobbit as Kili was grown already. "Anyway, it will be green again soon enough."

"I have to do something to earn my keep," he insisted.

"With your share of the treasury you won't need to work, so you don't have to find something right this minute, especially if you cannot yet decide whether you are adult or child."

Bilbo stopped soaping himself and Thorin waited him out. He had never been good at hiding his emotions and his conflicted feelings was clear for any to see. "Either way is fine with us."

"It's not natural to want to be a child," Bilbo told the water.

"It is fine to take your time growing up. We all have different needs and you do not have to decide this minute also."

"When?" he asked the sky.

"Do you want to stay or go with Gandalf."

"Stay please," he told Thorin's chest.

"Then take your time deciding and in the meantime I will treat you as you act." Thorin shrugged. "Ask Fili or Kili about Uncle Aggi."

All the soap will melt away at the rate Bilbo was washing, and still they need to start trade before they could waste so he pulled him closer again and started scrubbing him. Bilbo let him, standing stiff at first but then ever so slowly relaxing. "You need to apologise to everyone."

"Noooo."

"Individually."

"Nooo! Nori will laugh at me!"

"Probably."

"Can you tell Dwalin not to smack me?"

"No."

"Nooo."

"Kili will probably be the worst, he is the angriest of us all I think."

"Oohhhh." Bilbo moaned and sat down with a splash. Thorin laughed at that and bent down to scrub soap into his hair. It was going to be fine.