When Lily looked up, she was slightly surprised to see that she wasn't lying on the cold, unforgiving pavement of the street. She was safe, at Hogwarts. She looked at James. He was staring out across the moon lit surface of the lake, apparently deep in thought. He had been right, in a way. It had still hurt to tell him – to reopen the wounds that she had tried to ignore, to cover up – but it also felt good to have someone else who knew the full story of what had happened. She drew in a long breath, and James turned at the sound.
"Are you alright, Lily?" he asked, starting toward her.
She nodded, shivering. "I'm fine…or at least I will be." She smiled weakly. "I remember how relieved I was when the Aurors showed up. They were ages too late, but they were wizards, and they were friends. I had help. Your mum took me to St. Mungo's herself. She told me you really weren't that bad, and she asked that I give you a chance. I was a bit dazed, but I said I would." Lily rubbed the back of her left hand. "I kept my word."
James put his arm around her to stop her shivering. "Thanks for telling me this, Lily."
"Welcome. Let's go. I'm tired."
James threw the Invisibility Cloak over them and they trudged up to the castle through the grass. "Lily?" James asked tentatively after walking in silence for a time. "Sorry to bring this up again, but…did any of your friends know about your parents?"
Lily frowned. "After I got to St. Mungo's it's all a blur. I vividly remember asking your mom not to tell you about this…I know I was there at least overnight…and as soon as I got home, I had both Petunia and my conscience to deal with. At Hogwarts I pretended it didn't happen, so…no."
"What did Petunia say?" James asked, as they slipped in the castle doors.
"Before or after she disowned me as her sister?" Lily asked wryly.
"She wouldn't – would she?"
"Well, she did, almost the moment I told her that Mum was dead, along with Dad. She thought I was playing a cruel trick at first – until she faced the facts. Then she threw a fit, understandably. She went to her room and cried. I wanted to follow her lead, but it was like I couldn't cry. I was still in shock. Then she came back downstairs three hours later, and changed her grief into anger – directed at me." Lily stared ahead as she said all of this, but she wasn't seeing the stone walls of Hogwarts – what she saw were Petunia's wild, bloodshot eyes glaring at her, blaming her.
"She said it was my entire fault they died. If it wasn't for my being a witch, they'd still be alive and they wouldn't have been targeted. The sad thing is, she's right to be mad at me. It is my fault." They had reached the still life portrait of a vase of flowers that marked their dorms.
"Tree – nymph!" said James, giving the password. The fake wall disappeared, and the pair climbed inside.
As soon as it was safe to speak in natural tones, James said immediately, "Lily, it's not your fault. Don't even think that."
"I'll think what I want," challenged Lily coolly, "and if I wasn't a witch they wouldn't be dead, so it is my fault."
"If Voldemort wasn't a sadistic, twisted killer they wouldn't be dead. He killed them. Not you. Unless you're keeping some crucial details about that from me, which I'm sure you're not, it is not your fault." Lily still didn't look all the way convinced, but she shut up.
"Did you ever get counseling for their deaths?" James asked, thinking out loud.
"OH, so now I'm insane?" Lily snapped. She was going back to insulting James – territory that she knew. Maybe he'd pushed her too far.
"No – you're not insane. Forget I asked. I'm sorry." James turned to go up the stairs to his dorm.
"Wait, James. I shouldn't have snapped at you."
"It's okay." He grinned. "I'll get Katie's mom to 'Obliviate!' me and forget it ever happened."
Lily laughed, but it was a shadow of her normal one. "Good night."
"Good night."
------------
Lily dreaded going to classes the next day. Normally she didn't mind, but today she had promised herself she would tell her friends about her parents – and the prophecy. That would be awkward.
During breakfast, she couldn't muster the courage to say anything. She tried many times, but ended up trailing off into silence. "Are you alright, Lily? What is it?" asked Becky many times, but Lily just shook her head.
During classes she took notes mechanically. She was in the middle of History of Magic when it happened. Her head seemed to explode with intense, blinding pain. She was vaguely aware of a hand on her back and a voice in her ear, but she was focused on the pain in her head and the images currently flashing across her mind. Finally a voice broke through. "Lily!"
Then everything went black.
-----------------------------
Lily opened her eyes. Before her was a sea of white. "No, not the hospital wing again," she moaned. "I'm sick of here."
"She's awake!" cried a voice. It was Leah.
"How long've I been out?" asked Lily blearily.
"A few hours," said Alice, who was perched on the edge of Lily's bed. "It's six o' clock."
"You should go eat something! Why are you still here?"
"We care more about your health than ours at the moment," said James. Lily jumped. She hadn't realized he was there. James was sitting to the right side of her bed, his back to Madame Pomfrey's office.
"What happened?" asked Becky, who was on Lily's left.
"Someone broke through her Occlumency barriers," said Alice and James at the same time. Then they turned to each other with astonished looks on their faces and said, "How did you know?"
"I could tell," said Alice. "I practice Occlumency as well."
"Lily told me about the attack she had before," said James.
"What attack?" said the rest of Lily's friends together.
James looked at Lily. "It's okay, James. I'll tell them myself." She said. She turned to her friends. "Settle in. It's a long story." She told them the story of her parents' death and the first attack on her brain.
"Lily…why didn't you tell us this before?" asked Erika softly.
"I thought you'd hate me."
"Why would we hate you?" asked Leah.
"It's my fault."
"No, it's not!" cried Katie.
"I've been trying to tell her that," said James.
"Even if it was your fault, we wouldn't hate you," soothed Alice.
"Thanks," said Lily. She frowned, glancing at Becky. "What's up?"
"It's just…what did you see today?' she asked tentatively. "You only have to tell if you want to," Becky corrected herself quickly.
"It's okay. I'll tell you." Said Lily.
(A/N: From here is Lily's 'vision'.)
Voldemort was standing above Lucius Malfoy, who was cowering on the floor of the dungeon they were in. "Why did you not win and take over Hogwarts?" he asked in a menacing voice.
"I – I am sorry, my Lord. We tried!"
"But you failed," Voldemort hissed. "And now protection will be heavier!"
"I'm sorry – the girl, she was gone, the Potter boy took her away-"
"She was injured and you did not capture her! You must be punished."
"No – Lord, please-"
"CRUCIO!"
Malfoy's screams echoed through the chamber they were in. "MERCY! Please!"
Voldemort lifted the spell. "I will let you live…for now. Let this serve as an example for all who dare to challenge me." Malfoy got up and fled from the room.
(End Lily's vision)
"Is that…it?" asked Becky once Lily stopped speaking.
"That's all I saw. But I'm scared. I think that was sent to me on purpose – as a warning. Voldemort doesn't want me messing with him."
"He thinks you're a threat," confirmed Erika. Lily just shrugged. Just then, Sirius, Remus, and Peter came in, bearing loads of sweets.
"We thought you needed something to cheer you up!" said Sirius, grinning. "Oh, yeah, and Moony brought you a book." The expression on his face clearly said he thought the book was worthless. Remus produced a book from behind his back, and her face lit up.
"Oh! I've wanted to read this for ages!" she cried, taking the book from Remus.
"What is it?" asked Erika curiously, craning her neck for a glimpse.
"The updated version of Hogwarts, A History," said Lily, her nose already in the book.
"Oh," said the others, instantly bored with the book. Just then, Madame Pomfrey came bustling in from her office.
"OUT! ALL OF YOU! The sign clearly says five visitors ONLY! Out!" Reluctantly, Lily's visitors left the room. She sighed wistfully.
Madame Pomfrey made Lily drink a green potion that tasted bitter, and she soon drifted off into sleep.
OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo
The fall passed into winter almost seamlessly, and before they knew it, Christmas break was almost upon them. Snow muffled the noises of Hogwarts, the lake froze over, and students frequently went ice skating. Sirius and James bewitched snow balls to follow Severus Snape around the school, alternately hitting his head or stuffing themselves down his shirt until Lily yelled at them to stop.
On top of all that, Lily had been exempt from attacks on her mind since she had seen Lucius Malfoy being tortured. She and her friends had tried to forget about it. At times she was afraid to go to sleep – she had nightmares of her parents' death and Voldemort saying, "You have been warned, Lily Evans…" and woke panicking, covered in sweat. She didn't tell anyone about the dreams.
One day at dinner, Dumbledore made an announcement. "Normally, we hold a Yule Ball only during the Triwizard Tournament. But, seeing as the wizarding world needs cheer at this time of year – we have decided to host one for Hogwarts only." The Hall broke out into excited whispers from the girls and groans from the boys.
"However," said Dumbledore above the noise, "there are rules. It will be strictly fourth years and above, though you may invite a younger student if you wish. It will be on Christmas Eve, beginning at eight and ending at midnight. And, lastly – it will be strictly girls ask guys." James and Sirius held in laughter at the stricken look on Sirius' face. "You are dismissed," said Dumbledore. Sirius leaped from his seat and ran out of the Hall, already followed by a group of girls.
"Look at him run!" cried James gleefully. "This is going to be torture for him."
"Yeah, for me too," said Remus. "No one'll ask me, and even if they do, I'll have to say no."
James quit laughing. "Why?"
"You know full well why," hissed Remus, looking around.
"Moony, it's not a full moon that night. Don't worry."
"No one can get too close to me! I might slip!"
"It's one ball, Remus! Chill out!"
"What's wrong?" came a voice. It was Katie, standing behind Remus. His eyes went wide.
"Um…uh, nothing. Nothing's wrong. I, uh, have to go. Bye." He dashed out of the Hall after Sirius.
"What did I do?" asked Katie, confused. "Was it something I said?"
"No," said James, "something I said." Then he walked away after Remus. Katie just shook her head and went to find Lily.
The next day in the Common Room during free period, Sirius was constantly unable to do work because of all the girls trying to ask him out. One girl tried to offer him chocolates spiked with love potion. He realized what they were right before he put them in his mouth. "How will I survive the next two weeks?" he moaned.
"Say yes to someone," said James, not looking up from his spot in front of the fire.
"We used to go through this together," Sirius lamented, "until you started going out with Lily."
"People have still asked me out," said James. "Lily got really mad at the last one and now they don't try anything anymore."
"Lucky," said Sirius, as yet another girl walked over to his table. "No," he said automatically.
Leah was watching him from a window seat with Lily. "I hate them," she said, her eyes narrowed.
"Well, why don't you go ask him yourself?" said Lily.
"Why would I do that? He's a heartbreaker. Even if I did like him, which I don't, he'd dump me in two hours."
"I thought that for a month about James," said Lily quietly. "Look what happened when I spoke up."
"You win. Bet you a Galleon he'll say no."
"You're on," said Lily, still not looking up.
"Okay." Leah stood and walked over towards Sirius.
He didn't even look up. "Sorry. No."
"Fine," Leah said coldly, "I won't bother in future."
Sirius looked up. "Hey – Leah, wait! I didn't know that was you!"
Lily looked up at the approaching form of Leah. "You owe me a Galleon," Leah said. Sirius caught up to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "Leah, I didn't know that was you!"
"Would that have made a difference?" she asked coldly.
"Yes."
"Oh, really?"
"Ask me something, whatever you were going to ask."
"I was going to ask you to the Yule Ball, but-"
"Leah, why do you think I kept saying no?"
"You're a heartbreaker!"
"I was waiting for one person to ask me!" Lily was looking back and forth between the two warily.
"Who, Sirius? The prettiest girl in school?"
"In a way – you."
Leah opened her mouth and then shut it again. Seeming to make up her mind, she exclaimed, "You think I'm pretty, so you want to go to the ball with me?"
"No, Leah! I like you, for Pete's sake!" he yelled. The whole room went quiet.
"Let's go. We need to talk." Leah grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the room, away from the stares.
"Were you telling the truth?" Leah demanded as soon as they were two floors away from the Gryffindor common room.
"Yes," sighed Sirius. "Have you ever heard me yell that to a girl before?"
"No…"
"That should be your answer right there, then!" cried Sirius. "Look – I only went out with all of those girls because I was trying to get my mind off of you! Me and James used almost the exact same strategy – only he was a bit more outspoken than me."
Leah stared at him long and hard. Sirius held his breath. Finally her gaze softened and she smiled. "You are telling the truth."
Sirius dared to breathe again. "Are you a Legilimens or something?"
Leah laughed. "No. I'm just good at reading emotions."
"That worked out fine."
"Just don't try lying to me."
Sirius held up his hands in defeat. "Trust me, I won't."
Leah laughed again and started to run. "Race you back!"
"Hey! You got a head start!" Sirius cried, chasing her. They turned a corner and ran into Prof. McGonagall.
"Shame!" she cried, dusting off her green robes and picking up the books she had dropped. "Shame on the both of you! Two seventh years running around like chickens with their heads cut off! You're lucky I don't give you detention!"
"Please, Minerva dear, no detention," wheedled Sirius. Leah bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud. "It's such a beautiful day out," Sirius continued. "You wouldn't stop us from that, would you?"
McGonagall's mouth twitched. "You're getting lucky. And, Mr. Black – don't call me Minerva or you will have detention – though it's not as if you care." She walked away and Sirius stuck out his tongue.
Leah burst out into giggles as soon as she was gone. "We are SO lucky!"
Lily came around the corner just then. She took one look at the two of them laughing and said, "Leah, I think you owe me a Galleon." Then she too walked away.
A/N: This was long! Man! That was the last big time lapse, btw. At least, I think so. Reviews are love! The next chappie may be boring. And, if I don't update for awhile, it means I can't get on the computer.