I disclaim, I don't own Love is a Battlefield :)
"I think it could have gone worse" Piper tried to rationalize the situation as she reentered the manor with Phoebe. "At least she's still here"
"But Piper, how do you expect her to want to talk to us after you said those things? You really hit her in her weak spots" Phoebe sighed as Piper returned to her place cooking with an air of nonchalance that was particularly irritating.
"Was it really that bad? I didn't know how else to make her stay here." Piper frowned a little, beginning to set up the tray they would take up to Paige.
Phoebe shrugged "I guess it's nothing an apology and some sisterly love won't fix, but I'm just worried that she'll shut herself off from us"
"God Phoebe" Piper snapped "Do you need to make me feel guilty? I'm not perfect, okay? I'm just trying to do my best with our baby sister who for some reason, I rarely seem to get"
"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty Piper. I just think we sometimes forget how much Paige has been through and maybe that's why we have so much trouble getting along. We both need to give her really big, really blatant apologies so she won't pull any of the 'you ruined my life' stuff she loves so much" Phoebe explained
Piper nodded as she divided the macaroni into bowls and plated some chocolate chip cookies she had left over from the last time she baked. "I'm sorry I yelled at you Pheebs, it's just I really do feel guilty about saying that to Paige. I feel like a terrible big sister sometimes and I still don't know how to handle her. I want things to just start feeling natural, and they haven't yet, which scares me."
Phoebe came around the island and wrapped her older sister in a hug "Don't even say that. You are an amazing big sister. I love you, and so does Paige even though she might not want to admit it right now. We're going to get through to her though, we have to"
"And there's no time like the present" Piper smiled, picking up the meal she had prepared with only her baby sister in mind. "Let's get started breaking down that wall"
***********
Paige ran to her room crying and flustered. Her head was pounding and she was so angry, she didn't know what to do with herself. She literally felt like she was going to explode.
She wanted to scream and break things. But she also didn't want her sisters to know she was having a full blown temper-tantrum in her bedroom. They did not know her angry side and would probably have her committed, which would be slightly worse than being confined to the manor. Just slightly.
She made sure to lock her door because she honestly was not willing to even see her sisters right now. She needed some serious Paige time.
She went over to her stereo and pushed her Ipod in, setting it to a playlist she had specifically reserved for days like this one. She immediately felt her tension heighten at the first shrill shriek of Love is a Battlefield and her vengeance was like electricity coursing through her veins.
We are strong
No one can tell us we're wrong
Searching our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield
She stalked over to her bureau where she had tucked away her "Glen album" in the deep recesses of a drawer where she would not have to see it or think about it. She cautiously opened it. She hadn't looked at it since before deciding to set up the meeting with him and Jessica. That had been kind of a naïve idea, she scolded herself now. She was too much of a dreamer.
You're begging me to go
Then making me stay
Why do you hurt me so bad
It would help me to know
Do I stand in your way
Or am I the best thing you've had
She flipped open the cover and was sickeningly reminded of how in love she was with Glen. They had been best friends, soul-mates even before they discovered their chemistry. They were so comfortable with each other, so in tune, that when his lips brushed hers for the very first time it was as if the stars aligned.
It was meant to be, Paige frowned, tearing up slightly. There were pictures of their lives together everywhere, pictures she had saved and put together in this stupid scrapbook to show her children, their children, one day. There was one of them on their fishing trip where Paige had caught such a large fish she got overly excited and tipped the canoe. There was one of them lying in each others arms in the grass on a picnic at about 17, blissfully unaware of the world around them. There was one of them when they were 12 up in their favorite tree in his backyard. There were Halloweens, Christmases, birthdays, and just regular old days that lay claim to the best memories of her life.
Believe me
Believe me
I can't tell you why
But I'm trapped by your love
And I'm chained to your side
Piper and Phoebe did not get that Glen held everything for her. He was the only person in whose eyes she could see who she was, who she had been, and the hopes of who she would become. Everyone else she had grown up with was gone. The only person that had known her long enough to remind her of who she was underneath it all was Glen. Piper and Phoebe could do that for each other, but no matter how well they got to know Paige, they could never do that for her.
So she was lost. She couldn't remember who she was supposed to be now that Glen had exited her life as he always did, but this time with very little chance of return. On top of her sister issues, it was enough to make her want to punch the wall in or curl up into a little ball and cry. For the first time ever, she was really, truly, alone. She had lost her last tie to her past and she wasn't ready to step into a future as bleak as the one with her sisters seemed.
Her hand rested on the photo of herself on Glen's shoulders, goofing off when they were in college. She had covered his eyes and he went tumbling down a hill on campus, Paige thrown off to the side. He had whacked his head pretty badly, but she had tenderly cleaned his cuts and made sure he didn't have a concussion. He told her he loved her. He asked her to marry him. She said no. They were 20.
We are young
Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises
No demands
Love is a battlefield
We are strong
No one can tell us we're wrong
Searching our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield
"Fuck!" Paige screamed, realizing what she had lost in that moment. "Fuck, how could I have been so stupid!"
She was fuming, mad at herself, Glen, and her sisters, leaving her with no allies at all. She had assumed Glen would wait for her. She had guessed he was kidding when he propsed. He hadn't been, she realized now. She had been so insensitive, so self-absorbed, such a stupid kid. He was stupid too for not mentioning it again, for laughing it off.
She couldn't control herself. She threw the book so hard at her bedroom wall that it left a mark. A few pictures flew out, and at first Paige gasped. This book had brought her through her toughest times, it symbolized the one stability she had in life, Glen and his love for her. Well that was a joke now. And it felt surprisingly good to be destroying it.
"Album!" she called orbing the book back to her, just to throw it again at the wall, harder this time. "Fuck you Glen! Fuck you!" She screamed, the words burning her throat as she shook with rage.
When I'm losing control
Will you turn me away
Or touch me deep inside
And when all this gets old
Will it still feel the same
There's no way this will die
But if we get much closer
I could lose control
And if your heart surrenders
You'll need me to hold
The song mocked her. He had turned her away when she lost control. And their relationship did die. She was so lost, she wanted somebody, something to point to in her life as positive. She was an unemployed loser, who had sex with guys to pretend to be normal but dumped them the second they got too close. She dumped her sisters too. They all deserved it though. They didn't like her for who she was. The guys liked her for her looks, or her wry sense of humor that was just pain coming through in a mangled form. Her sisters didn't like her at all. They just needed her to save innocents and keep their powers in tact.
We are young
Heartache to heartache we stand
No promises
No demands
Love is a battlefield
Paige kept throwing the book and orbing it back until it was just a distorted mess of torn papers, loose pictures, and a broken history. It was helping her release her fury, but at this point it just wasn't enough.
Looking around her room, her eyes found a little figurine Glen had brought for her from the Alps. She had loved it because it was from him. Now she hated it. She threw it as she threw the book smashing it to a million little pieces in one fell swoop. She was purging Glen from her life though it was causing her to wrack with sobs and cry out so loudly she was sure that if not for the music, Phoebe and Piper would be all over her.
She continued to find things Glen had given her and either break them or throw them out. She tore up the birthday card he gave her last year and the wedding invitation that still sat spitefully on her nightstand. She had kept it for some reason, maybe because she was unable to face that it was the truth.
We are strong
No one can tell us we're wrong
Searching our hearts for so long
Both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield
And all of the sudden, she was unimportant Paige again, Paige who was stubborn and unleashed her rage on the world because she didn't get her way. She hated not getting her way, especially since it seemed like she was never on the winning side of things. No, nothing ever went right for her. She had to be adopted, she had to have dead parents, she had to be only a half-sister, Piper had to hate her, Phoebe had to resent her because of Cole, she had to be the scapegoat, the youngest but without any of the forgiveness and leniency perks the baby of the family usually gets. She had to lose the love of her life. Why? Because she was Paige and for some reason, the rule of her life was that things were always going to suck.
She ran her finger over a scrap of the invite that had his name embossed on it. Glen Joseph Belland. The name of the man she both hated and loved. A man she wished she had never met but knew she would not be alive without.
"Oh Glen" she whispered rubbing the raised letters of his name "What did I do to deserve this?"
Her headache worse than ever and overcome by a drowsy lightheadedness, Paige allowed herself to fall face down onto her pillow. The thunderstorm was wreaking havoc outside, as enraged as Paige had been during her tirade. She continued to cry muffled tears into her pillows, Phoebe's sweatshirt hood pulled over her head, determined to shut herself off from the world as her Ipod shuffled to the next song.