Carol woke again before Daryl did. She was lying on her side, propped on her elbow watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful and relaxed it made her heart swell. Every once in awhile he would smile in his sleep, just like Sophia used to do. Carol could remember watching her, she looked so sweet and innocent when she slept, even with all the bad things that happened every day in that house. Daryl was the same. He'd been through so much in his life, yet he was still able to smile when he was completely relaxed.
When he started to stir Carol wondered how he was going to react when he woke up and realized he'd fallen asleep with her. Daryl had been extremely concerned about her safety and she'd expected he would have been a restless sleeper, thrashing about and clearly having nightmares, yet she'd seen no evidence of that. Maybe he was over the worst of it, but the fear of what he'd done to that woman lingered and he couldn't let it go. All she knew was that she wasn't scared of him. Daryl would never hurt her - she was certain of that.
His eyes opened and he looked confused at first, but when his brain registered what had happened he sat straight up. "I fell asleep - Fuck - I didn't - I didn't hurt you?! " His face was white with panic.
"Shh," Carol soothed him, reaching for his hand. "When I woke up you were sleeping peacefully, so I laid back down and slept even longer. You didn't hurt me - you wouldn't. In fact - " A grin crept onto her face. "You must have been having a good dream because you were smiling."
Daryl's cheeks flushed pink. "It was - uh - it was a pretty good one." He looked at her shyly and Carol knew it was about her. "But we can't do this again. It's too dangerous." He changed the subject.
Carol shook her head. "You won't hurt me," she insisted.
"But I can't control -" He started to protest.
"Shhh," Carol interrupted. "We can talk about this later - we have a lot of other things to talk about first." She had to know what happened all those years ago that tore them apart and sent them both on completely different paths in life. She was certain though that they were meant for each other because the world fell apart and they were brought right back together. "Are you ready to talk?" It wasn't all that long ago that he wasn't ready to get into the details, but so much had happened in that short amount of time that Carol hoped he had changed his mind.
Daryl took a deep breath and nodded at her. "Yeah, but can we just get some food first? I'm starving." Carol's body and mind were filled with instant relief which allowed her stomach to remember it hadn't eaten anything in a long time.
"Sure, let's go." They headed to the kitchen and found leftovers in the fridge. Everyone else had already eaten and they were scattered about doing stuff and things. Carol made some sandwiches and they sat alone at the dining room table to eat. Daryl helped her clean up when they were finished. "My room? Yours?" She asked.
"Neither," Daryl replied. Carol wasn't sure where he had in mind. "There's a farmhouse, not that far down the road. It's been looted, but it's empty and safe."
"Should we go there? At night?" Carol wasn't so sure it was a good idea.
He looked a bit wounded. "I'll keep you safe."
Carol touched his leg under the table. "I know you will."
"I just - I don't wanna do this here. Too many people." He looked at her and Carol understood.
Well, if they were going to do it, might as well do it right. "Let's stay there for the night," she said. Daryl seemed to consider the idea for a moment and then nodded. "I'll meet you outside in a few minutes." Carol would be prepared this time - she wasn't heading anywhere without supplies. She packed a change of clothes, food, her toothbrush and anything else she could think of that they might need, including flashlights and candles - assuming there wouldn't be any power. Once she had everything she needed Carol slung the backpack on and went to find Lori.
She found her playing Monopoly with Carl and Beth. "Hey, Daryl and I are going to the farm down the road for the night," Carol whispered to Lori. "We need a little more privacy to talk."
Even though she'd spoke quietly Beth heard. "You're going out there at night? Isn't that dangerous?"
Carol gave her a smile. She hadn't interacted much with Beth because of everything with Sophia and Beth had her own issues after they cleared the barn. "Daryl will keep me safe," Carol replied confidently. She also made a silent vow to learn to protect herself. The last thing Carol wanted to be was a burden.
There was a strange, wistful smile on Beth's face as she nodded and Carol realized that blondie was developing a little crush on her handsome redneck. Who could blame her though? Daryl's attitude was a little rough, but the man was gorgeous. He was also new and mysterious. And he was also old enough to be her father. Oh well, it would be clear to everyone soon, if it wasn't already, that her and Daryl were together.
"Be safe," Lori said, giving her a hug. She whispered in her ear while they were hugging so the kids couldn't hear. "I want all the details when you get back. Have fun."
Clearly Lori thought they wanted to be alone for a lot more than just talking, though Carol hadn't even considered that angle until right then. It would be nice to be fully alone with Daryl, knowing they didn't have ears and eyes all around. But they had a lot to get through first, and Carol had no idea how the chat was going to go.
When she got outside Daryl was waiting by the bike. She'd never been on a motorcycle before but she wasn't nervous because she would be with him. He started the bike and got on. Carol climbed on the back. She wrapped her arms around his waist and they were off. The farm wasn't far and in only a few minutes they were pulling in the drive. In a world that was safer they likely could have walked to the neighboring farm in 10 minutes.
They parked the bike and Daryl led the way up the steps onto the porch. "Here," he pulled out his knife and handed it to her. "Stay close, we'll make sure it's still clear." Carol followed him through the house and they checked the rooms one by one until they were back at the entrance. "It's all good." Daryl lowered his crossbow and Carol handed him back the knife.
Carol went to the kitchen table and set her backpack down. She opened it and took out the candles she'd packed. She set them around the room with a couple on the table and then lit them. It was just the right amount of light so they could see each other and see what they were doing without having to use the flashlights. She sat down and waited for Daryl to join her. He wandered around a bit and finally took a seat across from her.
"Where do we start?" Carol asked. She really wasn't sure who should go first. Daryl tapped his fingers on the table several times without speaking. He was nervous and she hated it. She started rethinking her need to know the truth. Did it really matter that much? Did she really need to know? He had brought her there willing to talk, but Carol knew he was doing it for her. Would it really have any bearing on their future to dredge up the past? She knew she would have fallen in love with the man he is now, whether they had a history or not.
Daryl opened his mouth to speak and she jumped in. "Wait, we don't have to do this," Carol blurted out. She got up and switched chairs so they were closer and she could take his hands. "I don't care what happened. I don't. If you want to tell me someday I will gladly listen, but I need you to know it doesn't matter. I love you Daryl. I loved you back then, that boy, but he's gone and that's okay because I love you now - just like this." Carol could feel her heart pounding in her chest, but she also felt like a weight had lifted off her shoulders. It felt so good to just let go of the past and to accept that it truly didn't matter. It was thrilling and exciting.
"Are you sure?" he asked, his voice timid and hesitant. "I'll do this for you because I don't want to lose you."
Carol shook her head. "No, I don't want it and I don't need it. If you ever want to talk because you need to - for you, I'll be here. But I can't force you to do something you're not ready to do. I promise you it doesn't matter to me. It's in the past. We have both been through so much, but there's no going back - there's no changing it. We're here now. Let's just be here - together."
Daryl played with her fingers and Carol felt goosebumps cover her body. It wasn't meant to be sexual, but it was arousing to her, so sensual and intimate. "I would rather forget it all," he whispered. "I know I ain't gonna ever forget, but I wish I could."
Carol touched his face. "I have a lot of things I wish I could forget too, but those things brought us here. After all this time, somehow our circumstances brought us back together and I'm thankful for that."
"Me too," Daryl agreed, giving her one of his shy smiles. "I - uh - I just need you to know - " He cleared his throat. "I never stopped loving you. I never will." Even in the candlelight she could tell he was blushing. "I ain't good at this romantic crap - at talking about how I feel," he shook his head. "I ain't always gonna say it right and I probably ain't gonna say it enough - but I really do love you Carol."
With tears in her eyes she smiled at him. "I know." She kissed him, soft and sweet. "So, uh, we have this big house all to ourselves - and we're all done talking -" She gave him a suggestive look. "What should we do now?"
Daryl pulled her down into his lap. "I think I might have a couple ideas."