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Chapter 14

Laura woke up in her own bed, with no one there beside her thankfully. For too long she had been without someone beside her, but now Richard was constantly there. With Bill it felt nice, but it was too short, the hours ticking away too fast before she had to leave again. Like all their time together, both in the short term and the long term. Time was moving too fast and she just wanted to slow it down.

The sunlight was streaming in, but it was dull and lifeless, there were no bright rays to wake her up. The weather was becoming dull as they slowly slipped into autumn, but there was still the haziness of the last of the summer to come.

Her last summer.

She got out of bed and looked at herself in the mirror, her once glorious skin now pasty and pale. She had prided herself on cream skin that didn't need make up, but now she looked gaunt. On her bedside were several pots of pills, none of them helping her whatsoever; in fact they were making things worse. The red ones gave her headaches; the blue ones made her feel sick. She couldn't eat; she only ate when there were other people around which was dinnertime when she stayed with Richard three days a week, lunchtime when Billy made her eat something and all day when she was with Bill.

She had told Richard that she would stay with family on Sundays. Bill was her family on the outskirts of Caprica City, it meant that she could have a day to be herself and with the man she adored. But the last Sunday things had been strained, she had gotten weaker. She didn't want to tell Bill, didn't want to see the hollow loss start to appear in his face. Laura had seen that enough when she had looked in the mirror when taking care of her mother.

Going to the wardrobe, Laura decided what to wear for that morning. The trousers seemed too casual, the dress too formal, the skirt cut too close to her legs. Sighing, she went downstairs to make herself a cup of tea with an extra shot of Chamalla.

"Great." Laura dissolved the last tablet in her tea when she realised she would need to get some more. Although the taste was bitter, she felt better when she was taking Chamalla.

Suddenly a coughing fit attacked Laura's chest, and the motions racked through her entire body. When she removed her hand from her mouth, Laura could see blood on her skin. It had begun; the beginning of the end. And she was terrified.

X

"And you have a meeting with President Adar and Mr Zarek in half an hour; you'll be fulfilling your role as…" Laura didn't hear the rest of what Billy was saying to her, she was staring out the window. Outside, she could see normal people milling around having perfectly happy lives.

There were the teenagers out shopping, some smoking in the alleyways next to shops and others fussing over the new posters of the Caprican Buccaneers just out. There was the sport fanatics who jogged to music and had a water bottle attached to some body part. Then there were the couples outside enjoying the summer sun. She caught sight of a brunette on the arm of a particularly handsome male. All they were doing was staring into the eyes of the other, just perfectly content in their own universe. Laura found herself unspeakably jealous of them both.

"Isn't it interesting that no matter how far we've come, we all go back to the beginning in the end?" Laura mused to Billy, who simply nodded. He had no idea what she was referring to implicitly, but he knew the feeling.

"Half an hour Madam Secretary."

She had chosen to wear the trousers, even though the material made her legs sweat. She sat on the large windowsill, watching the figures outside the building go about their daily lives. Billy came into her office and handed her a bottle of water and a sandwich pack, but he didn't say anything. Laura ate a couple of bites but threw the rest away; she wanted to concentrate on these people. She imagined their lives, their hopes and their fears and the sort of thing that she would do if she were in their position.

"It's time."

Billy hadn't told her exactly what role she was going to be fulfilling by attending this meeting, or rather she hadn't listened. Laura had two roles now; she represented the Education Department but also was the President's official fiancée even if their relationship was still in its early stages.

Going into Adar's office, she could see that Richard had done some redecorating. Laura tried to avoid it as much as possible; she didn't like the ghosts that lived there. Tom Zarek was sitting in the chair in front of the main desk, and Laura gave him the once over. He was handsome, very much unlike Richard who only had charisma on his side. Zarek was also charming, he had managed to woo and win a good percentage of the electorate to his position already.

Standing up, a look of confusion washed over Zarek's face, but Laura merely ignored it and shook his hand. "Laura Roslin, Secretary of Education."

Richard made a noise from his corner of the office, and Laura realised that she had been playing the wrong role. She had supposed to be the dutiful fiancée who used their love of twenty years to overcome everything, even Cancer. In reality, Laura loathed Richard more than life itself and her face was so caked in make up to make her look respectable that she felt like a painted doll.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Ms Roslin, although we have already met."

"We have?"

"Yes, I believe you were at the Carlyle Club with some friends a couple of weeks ago."

Boomer's bachelorette party. All Laura remembered from that is a lot of ambrosia, a lot of giggling and her and Bill on the kitchen worktop. Oh, there was a man who had helped her from tripping on her high heels. Oh Gods…that had been Zarek. And now he was smirking like the man had won the damn lottery…

"Shall we get down to business?" Adar hissed from his seat, and Laura turned to him and the business at hand. Turns out Zarek had some information on some of the schools in Caprica that had failed inspections but hadn't been reprimanded, and rather than use that in his campaign, he wanted to make sure that the current administration was aware of it. After all, as Zarek said, "everything else is fair game but the kids."

Richard Adar watched his fiancée interact with Tom Zarek and was worried. Zarek was eloquent, and he seemed to charm Laura instantly. What had she been doing at the Carlyle Club, and who were these friends of hers? Adar realised he didn't know all about Laura's life like he thought he had, but that didn't make him upset. It made him angry.

X

It was her day off, and Alex was glad of the break. She had decided to go shopping for some new clothes; she needed a new outfit for Boomer's wedding in a few days. Walking down Caprica City, she caught sight of a missing poster on a lamppost. Normally Alex walked straight by them, but this one caught her eye. It was for Ellie, the ridiculously blonde and large chested assistant that she had initially been replaced by. She was still missing.

"Hey Helo, it's me. Could you meet me at Berrill's Beanery?" Alex had a feeling, a feeling she didn't like and was worried about. So she agreed to meet Helo at a coffee place where she knew the owner. He was a good guy, and was a big fan of the Colonial Fleet and liked to give them discounts. As a child of an officer, the same applied to Alex.

"Hey Hemera, what's up?" Helo asked, claiming a seat opposite his friend. She wasn't in her usual office wear today, so he concluded that it must be her day off. Maybe she wanted another flying lesson? It would soon come to it when she would be ready to enter the Colonial Fleet and pass quickly into officer status.

"Hemera? What's that?"

Helo chuckled before replying. "We all decided that you needed a call sign, so when we got together this morning we all decided on Hemera. She's the goddess of daylight and the sun, and every time you fly, Alex, there's good weather. So: Hemera."

Alex blushed before thanking Helo.

"So what's the problem?"

"Ellie, one of Adar's assistants, she's still missing. I wondered if you would be able to help me see if we could track her down."

Helo nodded and smiled. "Of course. I'll grab Starbuck and we'll be on our way. I would get Apollo but he's off babysitting Hera."

Alex's phone started to ring and she gave him a confused look. While she was fumbling with the keys, Helo explained that it was the codename that the pilots had come up with. The Old Man was Zeus, so that made Laura Roslin Hera. Ignore the whole sibling marriage thing and there it was.

"Hello?"

Hey it's me Billy. What are you up to?"

"Talking with Helo about Sharon's wedding."

"Helo? The pilot?"

"Yeah."

The sounds on the other end of the phone made it obvious that Billy wasn't too happy with his girlfriend spending time with Helo. Alex wasn't entirely sure why, she loved Billy and she knew that Helo was still crazy for Boomer. But it didn't matter at the moment, because Starbuck was already at the window of the coffee shop.

"I've got to go Billy, but I promise I will fill you in on everything later. I love you."

And she meant it. Hemera left with Helo and Starbuck to track down the missing assistant, and she really hoped that her gut was wrong.

X

Laura hadn't been there in a long time, and the summer chill had been replaced by an icy wind. She knelt down by her family's graves, wishing for two Adama arms to be around her now. Her mother's grave, killed by the Cancer that was now trying to eat its way out of her daughter. Her fathers and her sisters graves, killed by something as inconsequential as a car crash.

"Hi everyone." She traced the lettering on her mother's gravestone. She hadn't been by in a while; she didn't want to hear what her mother had to say about her choices.

"Well I'm dying, but I guess you already knew that. There's a part of me that wishes it would come soon, the part of me that wants this whole Adar situation to be over and done with, the part of me that wants to see you all again."

"But then there's that part of me that wants the time to be with Bill. You haven't met Bill, he's…he's amazing. There's something so comforting about him, but underneath there's steel and…and I love him."

The wind picked up and circled Laura, lifting some strands of red hair about in the air. She smiled, believing it to be her family talking to her.

"I know…the first time that little Laura falls in love is right before she dies. Guess the Gods have a funny sense of humour."

The wind had picked up, and it stung Laura's cheeks as the tears fell. Gods she wished Bill was here, but she had to do this by herself.

"Last of the family, huh? No one left…" Laura hummed to herself, her mascara running down her cheeks.

"Not even close." Laura looked up to see the wrong Adama, but he would work. Lee handed her a tissue, and she saw that Billy was in the car behind him in the gravel path. She had skipped out on her afternoon, and her aide must have worked out where she had gone. Lee placed an arm around her and held her close, comforting her in his father's place. Billy also joined her side, and she sat with the two boys as they kept her company by her family's graves.

"Thank you, you two," Laura replied as they walked her back to the car. Lee shook his head and got into the drivers seat. Billy just smiled at his boss and gave her hand a quick squeeze. Maybe things weren't as bad as she thought; maybe she could get through this in one piece. But then the icy wind picked up again, and chilled her skin right down to her bones.

X

Wedding Ceremonies usually last over three days, and Galen Tyrol and Sharon Valerii's wedding was certainly not an exception. The day before the wedding usually consisted of a giant feast being held at the father of the bride's house with a great deal of offerings to the Gods. However, as Saul Tigh plainly put it: "Skip the ceremony, lets just get wasted."

So in Bill Adam's back garden (serving as father of the bride), Galen and Sharon's guests were dancing and joking and singing and drinking in happiness. There was a great deal of joy in Bill's heart as he watched his crew and his friends celebrate something happy for once, he had felt that things in his life were turning a dark corner. He hadn't heard from Laura in a few days, and when he had seen Lee open the door to her, Bill could see how pale she was looking. He wondered if he had done anything, or if it was the stupid revenge plan that was driving her away.

"To Boomer and the Chief!" a toast went around, and Bill happily lifted his glass. Sighing, he felt he should make the rounds. It seemed like he had a few problems to sort out, not just in his own love life.

Alex and Billy were dancing on the patio, and although Alex was enjoying herself, Billy was holding her rather stiffly.

"He gave you a call sign."

"They all gave me a call sign Billy! Listen to me, nothing is going on between me and Karl Agathon!" Alex sighed and kissed Billy lightly on the lips. She knew he had every right to be jealous, but flying was something she loved, and Billy needed to get accustomed to that. She didn't want to have to choose between him and her wings, because she knew she would choose him over anything, and she would end up hating him for it.

Near to them, Lee Adama was trying hard not to kill Ellen Tigh. She was sitting next to him, with her hand placed too close to his crotch for his liking.

"You know Lee, you are a very handsome man…"

"…Sorry Ellen got to check in with Paula." Lee couldn't let her go down that path; it would only end in heartache for her and a headache for him. Paula was feeling sick, so she couldn't make it to the feast or the wedding tomorrow. Lee was going home to see her tonight after the party and coming back tomorrow morning.

Running as far as he could from Ellen, Lee decided to go upstairs and into the loft where his dad kept most of his books and his winter study. But when he went up there, there was already someone in there. Kara.

"Hey Lee."

"Hey Kara."

He joined her by the window as they watched the celebrations below. They could easily pick out the Tighs, the pilots and Laura Roslin. They watched as she downed another shot with Saul Tigh, oblivious to being watched by his father in the corner.

"She was at her family's graves today."

"This whole Adar thing has got her screwed up. They were fine before she went back to him on this whole revenge set up, and now they won't even look at each other."

"Yeah."

Lee looked at Kara and watched as a lone tear fell down her face. She didn't cry, and he felt voyeuristic watching her do so.

"It feels like we're all living on borrowed time Lee, and I don't like it. What if all we have is like Roslin, we find what we want only to lose it as soon as we get it? What if all we have is a lifetime of wasted moments among a few beautiful ones?"

Lee rested his hand atop of Kara's and gave her a weak smile. "Then those are the moments we strive for Kara."

Down in the garden, Laura polished off her most recent shot as Tigh looked on appreciatively. Bill managed to gather his confidence and take the seat next to Laura. She looked as him as she did so, and her breath caught in her throat. Gods she needed him and yet she couldn't take him.

"Laura, can we talk?"

"Not right now Bill." Laura gripped his hand in her own as she stood up and left. The look between them spoke of heartache and wasted moments.

X

Wedding day, and the girls had been up since the early hours. Having stolen the top floor of Bill's house, they got to work on preparing Sharon for her big day. They placed her in her white dress with her small veil, and Racetrack and Starbuck had great delight in dancing with the bride to be in their bridesmaid dresses.

In the corner of the room, Laura was dressing two of the small girls who were going to throw flowers. Alex was there too, making sure that the boys (especially Tyrol) were downstairs where they belonged.

"So how are things going with you and Adama? Last time I saw you two you couldn't keep your hands off of each other," Alex stated, trying to extend the skirt of her dress to cover more of her legs.

Laura blushed, remembering some of the recent events that had happened between her and Bill. They couldn't keep away from each other, like teenagers experiencing the first flushes of love.

"I love Bill but I just can't…small boxes Alex, small boxes." Laura tried to struggle through with things, the words getting stuck in her throat as she said them.

"Maybe you could work something out. He loves you, he really does and he wants to be with you."

"Yeah, well things are getting worse and he doesn't need to see that. If you'll excuse me."

Laura stood up and went to the bathroom, leaving the rest of the women to watch her. Starbuck exchanged glances with Alex before they went back to helping Sharon with her dress.

On the stairs, Bill had heard everything. He had gone up to check on how Sharon was doing, being 'father of the bride', and had heard what Laura had said. He didn't go to her; he knew his presence wouldn't have been welcome. So instead he went back downstairs to check on how Tyrol was getting on.

"Things okay Bill?"

"Yeah, they're fine."

Helo was joshing with a couple of the other pilots in the corner, and Bill watched as Billy observed him. The former Commander decided that that was probably the best place to sit. Smiling at Laura's aide, he watched as the men in the room started to persuade Tyrol out of marrying Sharon.

"He's a good pilot, Helo. Right?"

"He is and a good man too."

"Okay."

They sat in companionable silence, neither of them wanting to ask the other the questions they so wanted. For Billy, was Helo the type to steal another man's woman? Was he interested in Alex at all? For Bill, was Adar sticking to Laura's rules? Was Laura even okay? But before either of them could ask, it was time for the ceremony.

"Do you accept this woman as your own?" asked the priest, and Galen Tyrol nodded in front of all. Around him, their guests beamed.

"Do you accept this man as your husband?" Sharon couldn't contain her excitement as she replied in the affirmative. Everything had been building to this.

"Mr Adama, if you may?"

Bill stepped forward to perform his role in the ceremony. He took Sharon's hand and presented her to Tyrol. "In front of witnesses, I give this girl to you for the production of healthy children, and a happy life together."

He smiled as he watched two of the former soldiers under his command embrace in a kiss, and cheering followed them all around. Tyrol and Sharon walked down the pathway of the circular guests to take their place at the head of the feast table, Sharon showing off her ring to Helo, who tried to keep up his smile.

At dinner, Laura and Bill had sat on Sharon's side, while Ellen and Tigh had sat on Tyrol's side, acting as his parents effectively. Most of the guests had eaten and were now fully enjoying the open bar in the corner of the garden and the dance floor. Bill was suddenly happy for his large garden. Sharon and Galen had joined their friends in their first dance as husband and wife, which left Bill and Laura alone at the table.

"I heard what you said to Alex this morning."

"Bill, my cancer is getting worse. I can't let you go through that, and when I thought I could I was being selfish. I've been through it, its not pleasant."

"You're still here."

Laura smiled at his response before tears began to fall. Bill slipped his hand into hers and stroked it with his thumb. She leant her head against his shoulder, using him for support. Bill kissed the top of her head, letting the moment sink in with him.

X

It was barely dawn on the third day of the wedding celebrations, but Laura was sitting on the grass in Bill's garden. The whole wedding party was moving to the Barracks for something, but no one was up yet but her.

"Breakfast?"

Maybe not.

"I'm not hungry."

Bill sat down next to her, a cup of coffee and two slices of toast in her hand. The smell of peanut butter overwhelmed her, and she found herself stealing a slice of Bill's toast while his view was otherwise occupied by looking at the rising sun. When he returned to his toast, he found half of one slice in the mouth of the pretty woman beside him. She smirked at his glare and continued to eat the food. Gods she loved peanut butter.

"You stole my toast."

"You hate peanut butter. Logic tells me that you made it for me."

Bill laughed, he had. The warmth of the sun could be felt on her skin now, and just the whole scene relaxed her. She smiled at Bill and realised that he was only wearing boxers and a t-shirt. Well, she was wearing short pyjamas with no sleeves and no legs to boot, so she guessed they were even.

"I'm trying to compact it, but it's not working. I come from seeing Richard, to kissing him and then suddenly I'm supposed to be in love with you."

"Supposed to be?"

"I didn't mean that. I just mean that it's hard to separate things when everything's getting jumbled up in my head and I don't know what to do with it all."

"Tell me about it."

So she did. She told Bill about how things were progressing with her Cancer, how things were going with Richard. How much she loved Bill (causing his neck to go red in embarrassment). Zarek and his flirting. Visiting her parents and feeling grief all over again. Not eating, feeling depressed, all of it.

Bill laughed at her, and she felt like slapping him. He kissed her cheek and stoked her face as he gave her a weak smile.

"Laura, I love you. I haven't given up on us, or you, or anything and I'm certainly not going to. You will get through this."

"You're in denial."

"No. I'm just an optimistic son of a bitch."

She giggled at his response, and Laura felt as if things were going at a slower pace, a pace that she could keep up with.

"Why aren't you in bed asleep?"

"I can't sleep without you next to me. Why do you think I've got so much of my book done?"

She kissed him then, lightly on his mouth with their lips overlapping each other's. She tasted like peanut butter and he tasted like freshly brewed coffee. Laura's eyes fluttered closed as Bill deepened the kiss, holding onto the tenderness for all it was worth. When they broke apart, they didn't move very far.

"Good morning."

"Good morning Bill. Make me some more toast?" Laura smirked, and Bill helped her up and into the kitchen where they had breakfast together.

X

The newly wedded bride and groom joined all their guests at the city barracks. Nobody knew exactly why they were all there, especially not Tyrol or Boomer. The barracks were mostly empty; the soldiers had gone for some training somewhere else in the city. It was only when they got to the outdoors arena where officer graduation took place and saw Lee Adama standing at the podium did they know something was going on.

"If everyone could take their seats? Galen and Sharon, all of us here from the Galactica pilots and of course a few others and me wanted to do something extra special to celebrate your wedding. Of course they voted for me to do the toast."

There were several wolf whistles in the crowd and a few jostles but they let Lee continue.

"I haven't known you guys very long at all, but you've made me one of you and I feel very happy at that. So the words I speak aren't mine, but a friend of ours. She told me once that we're all living on borrowed time. She wanted to know if when we find what we want we lose it as soon as we get it. What if all we have is a lifetime of wasted moments among a few beautiful ones?"

The couples in the crowd started looking deeply into their partner's eyes, and Laura couldn't help but glance at Bill next to her.

"I thought about this, and its true that we waste so long looking for the one we're supposed to be with. So when we find that person, all the moments after that should be beautiful, should be fulfilling. Should mean something, because then none of the rest of it is wasted."

"So we, the pilots, want to salute the Chief and Boomer, and hope that all their moments afterwards are beautiful. Now onto the actual salute."

Suddenly, two vipers zipped overhead, and Boomer watched as another ten joined them in a perfect display. Two of the vipers blew out red exhaust fumes and made a heart in the sky. Boomer swooned at the sight and kissed her new husband, both of them exclaiming in joy. Lee watched and thought he spotted Starbuck in one of the Vipers. Wasted moments indeed.

Laura and Bill had not seen any of the display. Lee's words had sunk in, and Laura had found Bills soft lips on hers in a gentle kiss that she returned eagerly. When they broke apart, Bill and Laura were staring into each other's eyes.

"Laura…" She turned to Bill and watched as he slowly removed the wedding band that he had been keeping on his finger. Opening her hand up, he placed the ring inside and closed her fingers over the top of it.

"It was my wedding ring to Carolanne, but it means more to me than that. It was a symbol of love of the service over my family, a sign that I thought more of that then of them. I want you to have it, keep it. It's my heart Laura, and I want you to have my heart like you have everything else."

The merest of touches on their lips, but it felt like fire in both of them. That was love, all of it wasted and all of it beautiful.