Warning: this chapter contains POVs, a rare flower, mild OOCness, Draco, a Death Eater (can't be HP without one), potions and non-con (non-graphic).
CHAPTER 14: DYING LOVE AND FIRESLEEP
A little over 20 years ago...
Lucius POV
This is a disaster; father and mother said I am betrothed to a lady of the noble house of Black- they have even selected my bride-to-be. Father said I am old enough to start a family and create an heir to continue the line; he started this speech about how he already had a son at my age.
Well, father that was then and this is now: I am eighteen for Merlin's sake, don't you think I am old enough to chose who I want to marry. I would have said that to him if it did not warrant a slap. Apparently, father did not approve of the ladies I courted in the past.
So let me ask you- what do you think father would say if I told him I am already in love? "Oh, very good, my boy; is she of a decent, pure-blooded family?" I could practically see his eyes twinkle a bit- just a bit- while he says that.
All right, let's proceed to the next question- what do you think father would say if the person I loved was not pureblooded? "You know, Lucius that we will only marry those of pure blood- nothing less." That answer was obvious.
Now, here is the tricky part- what do you think father would say if the person I loved was not a she? Silence that would convey father's disappointment and anger; He probably would not talk to me until... "I come to my senses."
Now this is the hardest question (I implore you not to laugh)- what do you think father would say if the person I loved was Severus Snape?
You don't know? Well, neither do I; but I am fairly certain that something or someone will burn- whether it is literally or metaphorically is up to father.
The first time I saw Severus I remember pausing and just staring at him; his hair fell around his face like a dark curtain, his dark eyes held a spark of danger in them and his lips looked absolutely delectable as he chewed nervously on it. I sound like a love-struck schoolgirl, don't I? (I hope you're not laughing).
It was the first day of potions in my first year; I failed that class-work because I stirred my potion for too long. However, the professor was gracious enough to pair me up with Severus so that he could teach me the proper way of making the perfect potion. At first Severus was shy and would not so much as looked at me until one faithful day; I turned that Potter into a goose for taunting Severus and as I was serving detention, the professor in charge- whose name is inconsequential to remember- left me to my own devices. Imagine my surprise when Severus sneaked into detention just to thank me.
Since then, we have practically been brothers; he told me about his life with his abusive father- which made mine look like a saint compared to his. I comforted him when he needed a shoulder to cry on and he did the same for me. I did not realise I actually loved Severus until the reality of my predicament slapped me in the face one morning; I have a feeling that marrying a stranger in the name of some pure blood tradition is not my cup of tea.
Now, that I'm in my final year at Hogwarts, I have to chose... "Marry a Lady Black or lose everything." My father had said sternly to me. But do you know how I translate it? "Be with a total stranger or be with the one you love." I chose the second; riches are not worth more than my love for him but before I jump to conclusions and throw away my life, I must ask myself... does Severus love me?
000
Tonight is when I meet the infamous Narcissa Black AKA my bride-to-be. Tonight is also the night I tell Severus how I feel about him; my heart is beating so fast, I can practically taste the adrenaline, my palms are sweaty (Malfoys don't sweat!) and I can't stop pacing (damn these emotions).
I pick up my gift for Severus; the rare Dying Love flower- its petals are black and wilted; to an untrained eye, the plant is nothing but a burnt reminder of what it once may have been but to me, it is very much alive. The flower was designed to show it's owner his true love- I admit it sounds cliché but what is a desperate man to do- if you and your significant other were to touch this plant, it's petals shall brighten into a deep red blossom: the darker the hue, the stronger the love. Only three of these flowers exist today due to their charred appearance; I have been saving up for it since the day I realised I was in love (it helped being a Malfoy).
Father had excused me from school so that I may formally introduce myself to Narcissa- Dumbledore did not mind since graduation is a week away. However, I am going to sneak into the school and speak to Severus first; if my love is requited, we will run away together. I make my way downstairs quietly then freeze when I hear the laughter of strangers. They are here early! I grind my teeth and growl at my mother's impromptu thinking. No matter, I can still try to escape; I cast a silencing charm on my shoes and sprint down the stairs. I can make it, I can make it, I can make...
...I bumped into someone when I turned the corner but I managed to right myself before I made a fool of myself and fall over. I looked up and was about to snarl at their incompetence but I stopped, my mouth open mid-protest.
In front of me was the most beautiful lady I had ever had the pleasure of meeting; her hair was fair but not as pale as mine, her bow shaped mouth was pulled up in a sweet smile and her blue eyes contained so much life, it made me want to sing.
"Oh, pardon me." She said politely. "I was absentminded for a moment."
At this point, I had closed my mouth and smiled back. "No, the fault was mine I-"
Suddenly, she gasped and looked at my bundle. "Is that a Dying Love flower?" she asked, her eyes wide.
I blinked. "Yes." I said, silently praying that she would not touch it, as my love seemed to weaver a bit.
"Amazing," she beamed at the flower like a mother who has just found her long-lost child. "I never thought I'd see one- they are so rare." She continued to stare at it while I stood there awkwardly; after a moment, I cleared my throat. "Oh, sorry I have not introduced myself; my name is Narcissa Black. What's yours?"
Right then, a corner of my heart that roomed my love for Severus shattered and was replaced by a tiny piece for Narcissa. God why didn't you make her ugly?
"I am Lucius Malfoy." I said, shifting again.
"Ah," Narcissa said as she looked at the floor. "I guess you know I am your betrothed."
I nodded.
"I am delaying you." She said.
I frowned. "Delaying me?" I asked. She chuckled and pointed at the flower. "Oh, yes I was on my way to quickly visit a friend."
Her eyes seemed to lose her spark and her smiled waned slightly. "Well, your friend is very lucky if you are gifting her with a flower as rare as that." I could feel her disappointment in those words; I deduce she knows the flower's significance. "I guess I will see you later... don't worry I will cover for you." She turned and started to walk away.
"WAIT!" I called loudly. I do not know what possessed me to call her but I hope she doesn't turn aro- oh Merlin, she turned around. "I... um... actually got this for... you." I don't know what possessed me to say that either but I could feel my legs moving towards her with my hands outstretched.
Her eyes widened. "Really?" she reached to touch it and I did not pull back. I think I was possessed with a sudden jolt of curiosity because as she touched the bloom, it quickly brightened into a pink blossom- the hue symbolizes friendship. She gasped and looked up with a bright smile. "Thank you." She said warmly.
"You're- you're welcome." I stuttered and gave a sheepish smile.
Normally I refrain from using crude vernacular but I must say, I am so fucked!
000
"Severus?" I whisper harshly as I quietly crept around the astronomy tower. "Severus." I called again.
The door suddenly swung open to reveal a red-faced and panting Severus Snape; he even looked more beautiful up close. "Sorry," he said between gasps and leaned on the wall. "Potter again."
I growled at the name. "I swear I will get that prat one day." I said hotly. He bullies someone smaller than himself, using an excuse as idiotic as his house: how juvenile.
Severus laughed. "Did you just call Potter a prat?" he asked and laughed louder as I blushed. "Merlin, I think Lestrang is rubbing off on you." I just shook my head and chuckled. "Is there a reason why you wanted to meet me so late?" he finally asked.
I shifted again (damn these legs of mine!). "I... met my bride-to-be." I said lowly.
His smile disappeared and I saw something flicker in his eyes for a minuscule of a second before he asked. "Who is the lucky girl?"
Hesitation. "Narcissa Black." I said, unable to look at him.
Silence.
Silence? I felt a bubble of hope warm my chest as I felt Severus' eyes look at me critically.
Then he finally said. "I am happy for you Lucius."
The bubble burst.
000
Severus POV
I am not happy; I know Narcissa Black, she is the most unlikely Slytherin to walk the earth- she would have fared better in Hufflepuff. I tried my best to stay as cheerful as possible. "So when is the wedding?" I asked.
The beautiful blonde looked up from the floor; I could tell he was nervous about something because Malfoys do not fidget... "Two months after graduation." He said lowly.
I sense disappointment from him but I quickly brushed it away. "Congratulations." I said with a false smile. I do not know why I am angry; it was meant to happen eventually- it's not like Lucius Malfoy would love someone like me- especially me.
"I wanted to ask you something," Lucius said suddenly and I cocked my head, waiting for him to continue. Could this be it? Could he actually feel for me the way I feel for him? "Would you be my best man?" he asked with a shy smile.
I guess not. "Me really?" I asked. Although I was flattered he asked me, I really did not want to watch the man I love marry someone else.
Lucius chuckled again. "Of course," he said incredulously. "I can't have a wedding without my brother." So that's what I was to him: a brother.
"I would be happy to, Lucius." I said. I was suddenly overcome with the urge to cry. "Sorry to run off like this but I really must be getting back to my potion." My voice started to shake.
Lucius gave a louder guffaw. "You and your potions." He said and I laughed a little.
"Yeah, me and my potions." I parroted. I started for the door when I felt the first tear start to gather at the corner of my eye. "Goodbye." I walked out quickly, I will not let him see how defeated I have become.
000
Present Day
Harry woke up to a dark, stuffy room; at first he was startled because he did not know where he was but then when he recognised the wallpaper, he mumbled. "Grimmuald Place."
"You're awake." Harry looked up at the owner of the voice. Lucius Malfoy lay on the bed beside him. "How do you feel?"
"Lucius?" Harry shook his head and sat up while Lucius placed his glasses in his hand. The brunet frowned as he remembered. "I remember looking at pictures of me and Draco..." he trailed off and looked up at Lucius.
"Harry, it's okay." Lucius said.
Harry turned to face Lucius completely and frowned. "I cheated on you."
"You made a mistake, Harry." Lucius said with a small smile. "I understand that you may feel the urge to pursue younger-"
"But I don't want anyone else!" Harry yelled. He straddled the older man's hips and kissed him deeply. "I want only you." Harry pulled him in for another kiss. I can't believe I cheated on him... after all he did for me... so dirty... Sirius was right; I am a slut... I'll make it up to him... Harry started to unbutton Lucius' robes as he grinded into the blonde groin.
Lucius groaned into the kiss; his fingers caressed the tone back before they crept under the shirt. He could feel himself get hard at the younger man's action; oh, how he wanted to ravish him and make love to him right now but before it got too far, he gripped Harry's shoulders and pulled back.
The brunet was breathing hard; his lips were red from Lucius' nips, his glasses had slid to the tip of his nose and his eyes were hazy. "What is it?" Harry asked. Lucius just looked at him with a sad smile so Harry decided to dive in for another kiss.
Lucius held firm. "No Harry, you don't need to do that."
"But I want to." Harry said as he struggled to escape the vice-like grip. "I betrayed you and your trust... please, I just-" Harry started unbuckling Lucius' belt and he thrust his hand into the trousers.
"No, Harry," Lucius protested but Harry continued, so Lucius grabbed the thin wrists in his hands and pinned Harry on the bed. "Harry stop!"
Harry seemed to be in a crazed trance; he bucked and screamed and kicked and bit the blonde- the guilt and shame made his blood boil. "Lucius I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to... it just happened... please forgive me... don't hate me..." His eyes flew around the room and was glazed over as he muttered those words over and over.
Lucius was getting scared now. "Harry, listen to me!" that outburst stopped the chants and Harry's eyes focused on him. "I don't hate you, Harry... I still love you... but I understand that a relationship with an older man may not have been the best step for a spirited youth such as yourself... I won't hate you if you wanted to be with Draco now... I wouldn't love you any less if you feel that our relationship is not working." Lucius slowly loosened his grip on Harry and placed a kiss on the brunet's forehead. "Whatever decision you make, Harry I will always love you." He stood up and left the room.
Harry continued staring at the ceiling. What a life you have, Harry Potter. He thought bitterly. What a life you have.
000
Malfoy Manor (Draco's study)
Draco Malfoy was in a sour mood; not only was his sketchbook reduced to nothing, Harry was back with his father and his hangover would not let up. Bloody fire whisky, bloody headache, bloody father... I need a drink! He made his way over to his desk, picked up the half-full bottle of fire whisky and...
"Draco?"
The bottle slipped from Draco's startled grip and shattered when it hit the table. "Bloody Hell, have you ever heard of..." he trailed off when he saw Harry leaning on the doorpost with a smirk.
"You should seriously reduce your alcohol intake." He said smugly.
"Harry, you're awake!" Draco cried as he charmed away the mess on his desk.
Harry chuckled. "Thank you, captain obvious." He said with a roll of his eyes. "That shows just how aware you are."
Draco could not help but feel a strange sense of déjà vu. "H-how are you, Harry?"
Harry shrugged. "I remembered our first kiss thanks to your sketches." He said dryly.
Draco sighed. "Harry, I'm so sorry about that day; I was selfish and desperate... but... but I meant it when I said I love you."
Harry's face softened at that. "Why didn't you just tell me."
It was Draco's turn to shrug. "In case you haven't noticed, I am not very good at sharing my feelings." He paused. "I fell in love with you since the first day I met you but I was too scared to approach you... I mean, you are Harry bloody Potter, hero of the Wizarding world and I am the son of former Death Eater, Lucius Malfoy- doesn't really encourage one to pursue the other."
Silence.
Harry stepped into the room and stalked towards Draco. "Draco?" he said tentatively. "I am going to be honest with you... I had a crush on you back in Hogwarts." Draco's eyes widened. "But I assumed that since you didn't ask me out first, that you were not interested... now that I know about your intentions towards me, I need to make sure about my intentions..." Lucius forgive me.
"And how are you goi-" Harry shut Draco up with a kiss. At first the blonde was too startled to respond but a swipe of Harry's tongue on his lips snapped him back to reality; he opened his mouth to allow Harry access and soon, both were battling for dominance, which Draco won. Harry groaned as his hands snaked up to wrap around the blonde's neck while Draco gripped Harry's hips firmly.
When they pulled back, both were breathing heavily with their hair dishevelled and their lips red. "Well?" Draco asked between pants as he lost himself in those green depts.
Harry shook his head. "I think I love you." Draco smiled at that and planted small kisses on Harry's neck. "Draco, wait." Harry protested, the kisses stopped. "I love Lucius as well." He said in a small voice.
"Neither of us are willing to share, Harry." Draco said.
"I know Draco," Harry replied with a frustrated sigh: he placed his head on Draco's shoulder. "I need to think."
Draco placed a kiss on Harry's head and rubbed small circles on his back. "Take all the time you need."
000
Later That Afternoon...
Harry's room was littered with his attempts on sorting out his confused feelings for both Malfoys; lists containing the pros and cons of dating each Malfoy filled up the bin to an extent that Harry did not even bother throwing them in the bin's general direction. Flower petals were shattered by the window sill as Harry performed 'He loves me, he loves me not' on each respective one.
After the last petal, Harry sat and stared out the window, thinking. What would life had been like if Lucius had not asked to court me... I guess I would be with Draco... but then who would he have been with... he may still pursue me even after Draco had gotten me first... could this be how I got amnesia; we argued, I went for a walk and then got attacked?... no, Sirius said it was partly the reason...
Think Harry; why did you fall in love with Lucius?
Because he takes care of me and makes me feel safe... he always makes sure I am comfortable with everything we do... he guides me and makes sure I am doing the right thing... he understands me, he knows what it's like to lose someone you love...
Why did you fall in love with Draco?
Because he makes me feel alive... he keeps me on my toes and even though at the end of the day, he ends up protecting me... I have loved him since- Harry frowned. To be honest, I don't know when I fell in love with him... it just happened; rivalry grew to friendship which in turn grew into love...
Which begs the question- would you rather feel alive or safe?
You're my conscience... you tell me... do your job... guide me...
Even you know that I can only guide you when you've made a decision... I cannot make the decision for you... I don't have ALL the answers, Harry...
"You suck!" Harry growled and then buried his face in his hand.
"They say speaking to yourself is the first sign of madness." A voice said.
Harry gave a dry laugh. "If I didn't know better I would have said you were in the same room with me." he then looked up and blushed furiously. "Oh, hey Severus."
The potions master's face was placid. "Welcome back to the land of the living, Potter." Severus said.
How did he get into my room...? I'm sure my door was locked. Harry stood up and shifted awkwardly, he felt like he was back at Hogwarts. "May I help you?" Harry asked.
Severus scoffed. "I believe it is I who is to help you." He produced an orange tinged potion from his robes. "Lucius told me you were a little upset this morning and he requested that I bring this to you."
Harry looked down at the floor in shame. "Thank you, Severus I'll take it later."
The man took a threatening step towards Harry. "I'm afraid you must take it immediately," he said. "I have to administer the dosage."
Harry frowned. "It's alright, you don't need to," He replied, feeling a bit uneasy in the man's presence- he wanted to get away as soon as possible. "Just tell me what to do and I'll-"
"NO!" Severus barked and then cleared his throat. "This is a delicate potion that must be taken with care; I do not want to poison The-Boy-Who-Lived-Twice." He continued softly.
Harry raised a surprised brow. This can't be good. "It's nice to know you care about me, Severus." He said with a pretentious smile. "But you know what? I feel fine, I don't think I'll even need that potion." Take it! Take the bait! Harry casually thrust his hand into his pocket and gripped his wand.
"Oh," Severus said, putting the potion away. "Well, I that case... Diffindo!"
Harry pulled out his wand and ducked just before the angry looking spell hit him. "Expelliarmus!"
Severus dodged the attack and faced the short brunet; both had their wands pointed at each other.
"Who are you?" Harry asked.
The Severus look alike smiled before his appearance changed; long dark hair retreated into the skull until it was a russet buzz cut, the hooked nose straightened and a nose ring rose up to the surface like a lump of meat in a broth while obsidian eyes faded into hazel. The lean figure that was once Severus Snape was now bulky and very muscular.
"What gave me away?" the stranger asked.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Everyone knows Severus Snape wouldn't even give me a glass of water if my hair were on fire." He said matter-of-factly. "Besides, he never goes this far into a conversation without an insult." Harry looked him over. "Your appearance changed too fast for a ployjuice potion, so I'm going you guess... Metamorphmagus?" The stranger nodded. "Death Eater?" The stranger nodded again. "Just my luck." Harry muttered with a sigh. "Petrificus Totalus!" a stream of purple shot out of his wand.
The Death Eater muttered something and yelled, "Protego!" Harry's spell ricocheted and raced towards the brunet who was too stunned to move quick enough- resulting in a frozen Harry Potter.
The Death Eater laughed. "Do you like it?" he asked with a cloying smile. "I invented that spell; just whisper a little elasticity charm and voila, your enemy are falling by their own hands."
Harry could only watch as the tall man strolled casually towards him. "Ah, Harry Potter." He ran his fingers over Harry's cheek. "I can see why you're the most eligible bachelor in the Wizarding World: you're quite stunning." He frowned and took off Harry's glasses. "That's better... well, for me anyways." He let the spectacles drop before reaching for his wand and tossing it behind him. "What do you say to a round between the sheets?" Harry gave a glare that said, 'Don't even think about it'. The Death Eater smacked himself on his forehead. "Of course, I didn't introduce myself; Romulus Hector Syracuse the third." He gave a small bow and looked at Harry expectantly.
Am I supposed to know him? Harry continued to glare. Someone is full of himself...
Romulus cleared his throat awkwardly and straightened, "Anyway, let's get down to business, shall we?" he produced the orange potion again. "Don't worry about your family; unlike those savages, I kill only those I need to kill... unless someone gets in my way, of course... the werewolf and the elf would be asleep for a while; your godfather should not have left you this vulnerable." He uncorked the potion and brought the rim to Harry's lips before pulling it back. "I think we can have some fun with this, can't we?" he said with a smirk before pouring the potion into his mouth. Before Harry could comprehend why he did that, he was released from his spell and Romulus' lips were against Harry's; he forced the brunet's mouth open and feed him the potion orally. His muscular physique allowed him to hold on to Harry albeit the frantic kicks he received.
Harry tried to break free but the more he struggled the tighter the huge hands gripped his elbows and soon, he was running out of air so he had no choice but to swallow the saliva-laced potion or risk passing out.
Romulus pulled away and smiled as Harry coughed. "Yummy." He said licking off the excess that started to dribble down his chin.
Harry could feel his legs going weak and his hazy view of the room start to spin a little. The grip on his arms loosened and Harry feel to the floor, his legs no longer heading to his command. Then the pain started; his chest burned, his throat burned but he could not scream. Stop it!... Stop! It burns!... Lucius!... Draco!... Help me!
"That, my little mignon, was Firesleep potion: another creation of mine," Romulus said. "It's fast...You can feel the pain now, can't you? Don't worry, it'll be over soon and then you'll go to sleep." He cooed. The Death Eater pulled Harry up and brought him close until they were flush against each other. "Something tells me you wouldn't mind that round now?"
Harry could only gasp as he was lifted and carried to the bed; since his legs were now AWOL, he tried to punch the man but they were made feeble by the potion. His vision was getting darker and Harry could feel himself slowing being disconnected from his body. No! God, no!
He blinked once: he was on his bed.
He blinked again: Romulus had just divested him of his trousers.
Blink: Romulus was slowly stroking himself hard.
Blink: he felt fingers inside him.
Blink: Romulus positioned himself at his entrance and bent down to whisper in his ear. "This is for Edith."
Blink: Pain like he has never felt before.
"Harry." He heard someone whisper his name.
Blink: Darkness...
A/N: um... yeah... you must hate me for stopping there, right?... don't worry, it'll get better...ish... Why do I have to rape Harry?... I didn't okay; Romulus did... Harry can't help being hot... who is Edith?... hold on... sorry if this chapter seems short... I want to put up as many chapters as possible before the next term starts... next chapter shows what really happened the day Harry was attacked... stay tuned and give me like eight reviews to make it extra saucy...