The XO raised her eyebrow quizzically. In front of her was the training plan proposal her Captains had drawn up. She flipped through the pages again secretly pleased with their efforts. She had expected to them to resist working together, but the document in front of her showed that her fears were unfounded. Looking up she fixed them with an assessing gaze.
"We can make any adjustments you need ma'am." Donald offered when the XO remained silent.
Aubrey was quick to follow his comment, "We also outlined several scenarios we want to fly after our initial simulator runs."
Luke and Sophia had remained silent so far, allowing Donald and Aubrey to run the briefing and discussion, content to watch and learn how the dynamics of this squadron worked.
The XO folded her hands in front of herself on the desk and leaned forward. "You put a lot of thought into this, I don't need to make any changes yet." She regarded each of them in turn, "Get through the initial flights and then we can revisit this tomorrow evening for any changes. Raising her wrist she checked the time. "Okay, time to brief the rest of the team."
The pilots stood, following the XO as she made her way to Ready Room Two. They entered the room, the rest of the squadron was sprawled out over the seats, bantering back and forth. When the XO walked in the pilots jumped to their feet. The XO walked to the podium at the front of the room and the Captains filed into the empty seats at the front.
Standing at the front of the room, the XO took in a steadying breath, unhappy at having to deliver the news to the eager faces in front of her.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have bad news." LT Col Abernathy wasn't one to drag out things like this so she continued without delay, "We will not be pulling into Waypoint Station."
Everyone except for the Captains broke out into disbelieving questions and expressions of disappointment. The XO waited patiently for the uproar to die down, understanding their consternation. She had faith that they would bounce back, they always did, but she knew that they were weary of this long deployment just as she was.
Holding up a hand, she silenced them, "I know you are as disappointed with this news as I am. Please understand that this change was not made lightly and that there is a purpose for it." She paused for breath blocking out the disgruntled looks on their faces. "Our last mission was successful, not only in bringing back our Marines, it also yielded valuable intel that we are now in a position to act on. We're going to be following up on that information. I don't need to tell you how important this is not only to us, and the war, but to our chances for survival in this galaxy."
The news didn't really change how disappointed her pilots were, but hearing that they had a chance to really bring the fight to the Gaks had them sitting forward on their seats listening as the XO filled them in on the schedule of training and familiarization exercises over the next few days. She also informed them that a resupply ship had met them and delivered new aircraft to replace some of their older jets. Getting the new hardware was exciting, and usually hard to come by – especially with how deep into space their patrols took them.
After the briefing she dismissed everyone except for Sophia, Luke, Beca and Jesse. Once the others had filed out of the room she addressed the remaining pilots.
"Look, I know we don't know each other very well, and that I haven't welcomed you properly." She paused and walked out from behind the podium. "The shrinks cleared you for a full return to duty. But the shrinks don't know what this is like, the toll it takes." She made eye contact with each of them in turn pleased when they held her gaze.
"I need you to promise me three things: Number one is if you have an issue with being back on active duty you let me know. There is no shame in needing time or asking for help, especially after what you all went through. Number two is we don't want heroes in our squadron. We want smart pilots who watch their backs and the backs of their fellow pilots. You have nothing to prove to anyone here."
The XO paced a bit in front of them before stopping and making eye contact again, "Number three is to treat Aubrey and Donald as if they were Majors. They have filled in admirably after we lost two amazing leaders." Here she paused and looked directly at Luke and Sophia, "We expect our Captains to step up and do what it takes, but to keep it simple their orders are to be obeyed as if they came from me."
Softening a bit Gail continued, "We're a family here. I know it is still too soon, but we want you to be comfortable here with us. You're all excellent pilots and Marines. And now we're going to give you a chance at getting a little payback."
Luke nodded and addressed her, "Thank you ma'am. We won't disappoint you." Next to him Sophia nodded her agreement.
The XO took one last assessing look, "Right, well grab your gear and get down to the simulators." She left the room and Beca lost no time in whirling on Sophia and Luke.
"Dude, you put me with Bumper?"
Jess crossed his arms and followed with, "Yeah well I'm with Chloe, who hates my guts by the way."
Sophia and Luke exchanged looks before Luke stood up, "Suck it up Becky." Staring at both of them he continued, "Promise us you'll play nice. We have a lot riding on this."
Groaning both Beca and Jesse nodded their agreement.
"Let's go guys, they're waiting." Sophia stood and started towards the door, eager to escape the conversation.
Jesse and Beca still look disgruntled but shuffled out of the room after their friends.
When the pilots entered the simulator room kitted out in their gear they found the other Captains already in the chairs working on the pre-flight checks. Beca looked away when Chloe's eyes caught hers watching and went to the simulator next to Bumper.
"Oh ho ho Mitchell, glad you could make it." Bumper grinned cheekily at her knowing he was getting under her skin. It took everything Beca had not to snark back.
She busied herself by strapping in and starting her own preflight checks. Across the room she could hear Chloe questioning Jesse already about his preflight sequence. She huffed under her breath, did they really think they forgot how to fly?
Once the checks were done Aubrey came over the radio outlining the scenario.
"Banshees, we'll be flying a routine patrol mission simulation. You are expected to treat this as if it was a live event and obey the commands of your Wing Leader. System Failures are possible in this scenario and you are expected to follow all repair protocols."
Aubrey paused a moment then continued, "Tarzan, Rider and Rocky you are with me. Tarzan you are my wingman and Rocky you're Riders. We will be the Gold Team."
Donald keyed his mic next, "Jack, Bumper and Nomad are with me. We're Blue Team. Any questions before we begin? If not give me your ready checks."
Each of the pilots in turn answered with a ready.
The first part of the scenario went well, they ran into a vanilla engagement with a Gak patrol that they handled without much trouble though Beca was fuming over Bumper crossing her firing line, almost getting himself fragged in the process. Jesse handled the targeting system failure that they threw at him without a problem, correctly diagnosing and switching to a secondary system.
On the second leg of the mission, the scenario had them traveling near a debris field that was part of a previous battle. The Gold Team was flying ahead of them and were even with the field almost when Beca noticed a blip near the debris that winked out almost as soon as it appeared on her radar, making her question if she really saw it. When it flashed again she keyed her mic.
"Blue Leader, possible contact at 315 mark 4."
Donald's voice came back immediately, "Nomad, my screen is clear."
Beca tapped the side of her screen, cursing under her breath, she adjusted her system, focusing it on the area and crossed her fingers waiting for the blip to appear again.
The blip reappeared faintly as the radar honed in. Beca saw that it was even with the Gold Team, "Gold Leader possible bogey 317 mark 4 now.
Aubrey's voice came back over the channel, "Negative on contact Nomad."
Beca huffed in frustration, "Switch your screen to narrow field Gold Leader."
Before any response came, Beca's radar came alive with contacts. The system informed her of 12 separate contacts. The Gaks had powered down their systems and used the debris field as cover, now they had the drop on them and were firing within seconds. She saw Gold team engage in evasive maneuvers right away.
Her system blared alarms warnings she was targeted and she broke right, following a sluggish Bumper cursing under her breath for him to hurry up.
"Evasive maneuvers. Don't let them isolate you." Aubrey's steady voice came over the comm system. Beca rolled her eyes in reflex and then yelped as a shot buzzed close to her viewscreen. She switched to the channel she shared with Bumper.
"Bumper, we have to turn and fight."
"Negative, stay on my wing Nomad." Beca seethed at Bumper's terse reply. She was itching to get back into the fight, watching as the Gaks danced around the other pilots. Bumper had them on a trajectory that was leading them away. Beca waited a moment realizing that none of the enemy fighters were following them and then tried again.
"This is bullshit. Bumper turn around."
The radio was silent and then Bumper came across, "Try and keep up Nomad."
Beca was about to cuss Bumper out, recorded channel or not, when he kicked in his ion drive angling his Hellcat back towards the fight. Cursing again Beca engaged her drive, pushing for extra speed to stay on his wing. They were closing in on an angle, Beca saw that over half of the enemy fighters were dogging Jesse and Chloe. Both of them were dodging frantically just barely staying ahead of the enemy laser fire. Beca was so intent on watching them she almost missed Bumper banking abruptly towards Donald who was dealing with two enemies of his own.
Beca gripped her stick flipping a switch on it and arming her missiles in case she could line up a clear shot. It was a risk because in close quarters combat the explosion could easily damage friendlies but if she could get close enough to the Gaks she could maybe even up the odds a bit and take a couple out.
Donald's voice came over the comms, "Duke it out Blue Team. Need to take the heat off of Gold."
Aubrey's clipped tone was the only indication she was stressed, "Watch your angles in this furball. Rider break left for cover."
Beca realized what Aubrey was doing, trying to get the enemies to continue the chase long enough to get them in position for a strafing run. Everyone else was a little out of position, but she and Bumper were positioned perfectly. Telling herself it was useless to argue with Bumper she pulled hard on her stick banking into a tight turn and flying in above Aubrey, adjusting speed to let Chloe and Jesse fly by. She could hear Bumper yelling at her over her comms to get back on his wing but tuned him out and once the enemy aircraft were below she dropped down in, keying into the main channel.
"Valkyrie, pull left, firing Fox Two." Beca saw Aubrey pull her fighter up and away and she launched her missiles, catching one of the trailing enemies with a direct hit that disintegrated him and four of the other alien fighters that were flying with him. The shockwave upended two that recovered quickly and broke off their pursuit of Jesse and Chloe, instead pulling around and heading for Beca.
Cursing Beca pulled up, angling away since she had left herself exposed and the enemy fighters were now closing in on her position. Even though this was a simulation Beca felt the familiar rush of adrenaline hit her system, she pulled her stick erratically banking to try and shake the enemies on her tail.
The comms chirped as Aubrey laid out terse commands, "Blue Leader comeback high. Rider, Rocky Bonzai west enemy. Bumper Bonzai south enemy."
Beca continued her evasive maneuvers, tongue poking slightly out of the corner of her mouth in concentration while she pulled turns that strained the capacity of her inertial dampening system. She knew the others were flying in to pick off the enemies on her tail, she just had to survive. Without warning a bright flash of green light washed over the cockpit sending her Hellcat tumbling, alarms started sounding in the cockpit.
As soon as the light flashed Beca gasped, suddenly lost in the last battle when the Gaks took her. Her chest felt heavy and she tried unsuccessfully to pull air into her lungs as her vision shrunk in on itself. There was a rushing sound in her ears and she splayed her hands out against the edges of the cockpit trying to ground herself as the Hellcat still tumbled out of control.
"NOMAD! REPORT STATUS!" Chloe's voice yelled over the channel, bringing Beca back to herself. Fighting off the disorientation she punched the console switch to try and get her engines started again, fighting back the nausea and shortness of breath. Once she trusted herself to speak Beca responded praying her voice was steady.
"Attempting to restart thrusters. Standby." There that wasn't too bad, Beca knew she sounded off to her own ears, but hoped the others couldn't tell. After toggling the switches for her engines she finally got them to restart, their startup hum helping to calm her racing heartbeat. She flipped another switch and kicked in her thrusters leveling off her flight. The rest of her systems started to power up as part of the automatic restart sequence. Her radar was down and she pulled on her stick to see if she could get a view on the others. The rushing sound was back but she did her best to push it back.
Aubrey's steady voice came over the comms again, "Nomad report status."
Beca shook her head irritated that she was still screwing up. "Valkyrie, thrusters online. System restart initiated. Targeting systems offline."
"Roger Nomad. All enemies accounted for. Form up when able for return to Mother."
Beca couldn't tell for sure but it sounded like Aubrey was relieved. "Roger Valkyrie."
The pilots finished out the simulation, and as the lights came back on in the training room, Beca clambered out of her cockpit, feeling ashamed at her weakness and eager to escape everyone's prying eyes. She should have known that there was no escaping Aubrey.
"Beca wait."
Beca turned back towards Aubrey who was standing by the cockpit of her simulator with an unreadable look. Bumper came up behind her, staring at Beca as she approached.
"Listen Mitchell, you really – " Aubrey whirled on Bumper, cutting off whatever scathing remark he was about to make.
"Not another word." Aubrey hissed under her breath. Whatever look she gave Bumper had him lifting his hands and backing up a step. Beca frowned, uneasy at where this might be going.
Turning back to everyone else and in a more normal tone Aubrey said, "We're going to review the flight recordings and will debrief everyone individually after we are done. You'll be notified when to report to Ready Room 2 for debriefing."
Donald looked over at Aubrey, "I'll get them to bring us dinner in Tactical."
Aubrey nodded her assent and stood with her arms folded waiting for everyone to file out. Chloe locked eyes with her friend for a moment, looking as if she was about to intervene but Aubrey shook her head minutely causing Chloe to sigh. The redhead followed Sophia out the door with a final look at Beca who was busy studying the laces on her boots, while clenching and unclenching her fists.
With an audible click the door closed and Beca rushed to get ahead of whatever lecture Aubrey was about to deliver.
"Listen, I know I screwed up okay, but I…"
"Beca." Aubrey tried to break in, as Beca kept going, gesturing emphatically but still refusing to make eye contact.
"I swear, I had the picture and Bumper he…"
"BECA!" Aubrey said her name with force behind it, but not unkindly. The slim brunette stopped in mid-gesture, finally making eye contact.
"Yeah. Okay." Beca brushed the bangs back from her hair, trying to calm herself down.
Aubrey sighed, "We'll talk about all that later." Beca looked at her in surprise.
"What? Why? I thought…"
"Beca breathe okay." Aubrey reached out attempting to place a calming hand on the smaller woman, but Beca jumped back out of her reach. Aubrey retracted her hand, still looking intently at Beca. The other woman looked away unable to bear seeing Aubrey looking at her like she was some broken thing.
"I'm fine." Retreating back into herself Beca hoped that the snark in her tone would end this surreal moment. Maybe she was still in the simulation, maybe she blacked out and this was her mind playing tricks on her…
"Beca." Aubrey's voice was soft and Beca started. Somehow the other woman had managed to close the distance and now had her hand cupping Beca's chin forcing dark blue eyes to meet her green ones.
"You're okay Beca."
"What the fuck is happening to me?" Beca breathed out, her voice sounding foreign to her own ears, like it was coming from some distance away.
"You had a panic attack, and might be in shock." Aubrey still had her hand gripping Beca's chin lightly, her other hand was on the shorter woman's shoulder, to Beca it felt like she was trying to anchor her to the ground. Aubrey pulled Beca to her, wrapping long arms around the slim brunette. Beca allowed the contact for a moment, breathing in and then realized she was letting Aubrey Posen hug her.
"Whoa there Posen." Beca pushed the other woman away, glaring back at her suspiciously when Aubrey smiled. "You trying to make Conrad jealous?"
"Welcome back." Aubrey was still smiling and now Beca was annoyed, both at her moment of weakness and because Aubrey was now smiling at her.
"Alright whatever, moment's over." Beca was flustered, not sure how to handle whatever this was. She knew Aubrey should be pissed at her because she totally disregarded Bumper's orders and did her own thing. So the fact that Aubrey was being nice was really throwing her off and she responded the only way she knew how: poorly.
"You're going to talk about this." Aubrey waited for Beca to make eye contact again before continuing, "If not with me, then with Stacie, or Sophia or Dr. Theo." Beca paled visibly at the mention of the doctor and didn't comment on whose name she left out.
"No doctors." She breathed out. "Look I'm fine, okay?" Beca pointed to herself with her thumb. "I got the job done, just got disoriented when my Hellcat was hit is all."
Aubrey folded her arms and looked away for a moment then turned back, "You and I both know that is not what happened." The blonde paused a moment then softly continued, "I'll ground you Beca."
"What the fuck! No, you can't ground me! Aubrey, that's not fair." Beca advanced on the blonde clenching her fists at her sides.
Aubrey waited for Beca to pause then calmly continued, "Angry outbursts, trouble sleeping, nightmares, reckless behavior, apathy, should I continue?"
Beca was reeling, she felt the anger and tried to get it under control, unwilling to let Aubrey be right, "Ever consider that maybe I just don't like you Posen?" Beca regretted the words the moment they left her mouth but she felt backed into a corner and her pride wouldn't let her apologize.
A flicker of hurt ghosted across Aubrey's eyes but she kept her voice level, "Ever consider that maybe I understand what you're going through?"
Beca wasn't willing to back down, "Yeah what the fuck would you know about it Posen?" It felt wrong to keep lashing out but Beca couldn't stop herself and the fact that Aubrey wasn't yelling back at her by now was making her even angrier. As if by keeping calm Aubrey was just showing her how Beca was even more of a failure.
This time Aubrey's eyes flashed in warning before she resumed her relaxed stance and continued, "Maybe because I almost lost Chloe because I was afraid to call her out on what she was going through." Aubrey advanced closer to Beca with an edge to her voice now, "Maybe because I was too afraid of my own weakness and guilt I almost let my best friend die Beca, rather than deal with what was going on with us."
Beca's eyes were wide, her heart lurching at the pain she heard in Aubrey's voice and mind racing supplying scenario after scenario of what could have happened to Chloe. When Aubrey continued in a softer tone, Beca focused back on the blonde who somehow seemed smaller now.
"And maybe Beca, because I see Dr. Theo regularly to deal with the fact that I still have nightmares about having Chloe's blood on my hands."
"Fuck Aubrey." Beca breathed out in a whisper. Not sure what to say or how even to continue with so many questions racing through her mind.
Aubrey saved her from replying by continuing almost conversationally but still with a slight strain to her voice.
"When we came to get you, there was an explosion and Chloe and I were knocked to the ground, seeing her there lying motionless even for a second, almost sent me over the edge."
Beca stepped closer, wanting yet not wanting to hear this story at the same time.
Aubrey looked off into the distance, "We got up and kept moving, and I was so relieved Beca. So relieved that I didn't freak out, because honestly, I wasn't really trusting myself much before that. I was afraid that anything that happened would trigger me."
Beca ran her hands through her hair, "It was the green flash in the cockpit." She didn't make eye contact with Aubrey just continued quietly, "It all started with that, the out of control spinning and knowing they were coming for us. The green flash that meant they just murdered another friend. The green flash that meant Jimenez in the cell next to mine was dead. He had a wife and kids…it should have been me."
Aubrey stepped closer but didn't touch Beca this time somehow sensing it wouldn't be welcome.
"I can't help but feel like I died back there and this isn't real. It should have been me." Beca sounded so broken that it tugged at her heart strings, Aubrey was happy the younger woman was confiding in her, but afraid for her if she couldn't get past this.
"Well you did survive. And despite your disobeying all types of orders and protocol in the scenario, you came out on the other end okay." Aubrey decided a change of subject was in order to protect them both.
"Bumper is an idiot Aubrey. He fucking…"
Aubrey held up a hand cutting Beca off, "We'll talk about it in the debrief."
"Aubrey no! Yell at me all you want but I swear if I have to listen to Bumper…"
"Beca enough. It will just be Donald and I." Aubrey huffed in frustration.
Beca sighed, "So much for our moment Posen." Beca had her arms crossed and was looking up at Aubrey with a smirk taking the sting out of the words.
"You are so frustrating." Aubrey smiled a bit though unwilling to completely let Beca off the hook she continued, "Let me know when you've scheduled an appointment with Dr. Theo."
"What? No you said to talk, I talked!" Beca couldn't help it, she knew she was whining but she really didn't want to have to talk to a shrink.
Aubrey's only reply was to arch an imperious eyebrow, leaving her earlier threat of grounding Beca unspoken but hanging in the air.
"Fuck! Fine." Beca ran a frustrated hand through her hair.
"Dismissed Lt. Mitchell."
Beca's eyes went wide at the formal address. She mock saluted Aubrey, "Aye aye, Captain Hard-ass." Aubrey watched her stalk out of the room before pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers in a vain attempt at relieving the headache she had been nursing since the morning.
Sighing she resigned herself to the circus that the debrief would be. She left the room trying to think of ways to keep from strangling Bumper for the next hour.