A/N: Guys, I'm gonna be really lazy and only do like, 2 dares per chapter, mkaiii? OKAY!
Krystal: ...And that's how Evil got castrated...
Evil: *Blushes and looks away*
Krystal: Oh, hey guys! Anyway...I need someone to get the letters for me. I'm way too lazy today.
Flippy: OOOOO! I will!
Krystal: Go fetch, boy!
Flippy: Woof :3 *Runs off*
Sniffles: Why is Flippy acting like a dog?
Krystal: Why are you acting like a nerd? Oh, wait, YOU ARE ONE!
*Everyone laughs at my really lame joke*
Krystal: *Waves hands around randomly* ENOUGH! *Takes letters out of Flippy's mouth* Thank you.
Flippy: Welcome! *Sits down*
Krystal: Righty-O then. Our first letter is from McQueenfan95!
Handy, how did you lose your arms?
Russell, what happened to your eye, your hand and your legs?
Handy: Like I said, blah, blah, sandwich, blah, blah, wolfhound, blah, blah, so on!
Everyone: ...
Krystal: Anyway! Russell. What did happen to you?
Russell: Me dad, lass! He'd be raping thy boat, matey!
Giggles: So basically, you mum's a boat?
Russell: Yar! That'd be right, lad!
Everyone: ...
Krystal: Riiiight...Moving on...Our next letter is from xXALICEtheHELLHOUNDXx!
DARES Splendont: Sing Chinese rap Disco Bear: Go to a Las Vegas night club Krystal: Bring back Cubs real mom Pop: Say you're sorry for eating cubs mom Flippy: Go kill Sudan Husain dressed up like Justin Beiber and shove he real head of Justin Beiber in liquid nitrogen TRUTHS Splendid: Do you know that you f**king suck at being a super hero and that Splendont is better than you? Evil: Why do you like dancing so much?
Krystal: OH MAI GAWD!
Flippy: What?
Krystal: I just looked up Chinese rap. I lol'd.
Splendont: And I have to sing it?
Krystal: Yeah, oh and Splendont...
Splendont: Yes, Krystal?
Krystal: Say it in a Chinese accent pleeaaaassseee!
Splendont: *sigh* Alright...
*In Chinese accent*
Who like my chopstick when it hit you
When I shit with my little ass dick, yellow,
If you wanna see me eat Jell-O
I never seen nothing like you before
I can kick you
Higher than you can kick me
I can kick you way up into a tree
Who wants a taste of my Foo-long tea?
Ho ha ho ha hoo chi chi
Everybody in the phone book named Chang
Wanna see my wang?
Never could go and hit a gong with a bang
WAAA?
Everybody wanna see me throw a fireball
But that's not right, not in real life
You will fall...down and break your leg
Everybody wanna see me break an egg?
Well I don't, but I like fried rice
And I got lice
Ching chow woo ching wang woo wice
That ain't nice
Four for the cookie, I always charge it twice
Delivery is free, but not from me
I always call a dollar fifty, fifty five
Wanna see me GO GAA?
Hit you with the lie HAI YA!
War when I hit you with the shit, do a split
Take a shit have to go eat my shit kung-fu
Want my buffet? You fucking gay, ah.
Wai-lo hit you with the hay
Stay the fuck away
Hit you in the balls
Only Americans eat duck sauce
And my soy sauce is for you
I can put it in your shoe
Watch this – I can tip-toe while you take a piss
In my bathroom spy on you
While your little boy shits
HOOAAAI-YAH!
I can kick you if you don't pay the bill
And if you want a little mint,
That's fifty cents, bitch
Everything cost a little bit
So don't expect nothin' for free
At least from me, Ching Chang Chewie
I got you from Taiwan city and Hong Kong
I just smoked a bong and I can do it all night long
And don't mistake me for a Viet Cong.
I can get you and tackle you
Take you never see me
When I get you and make you
Rope you up and put in a bamboo cage
And make you feel all my rage
Poke you with a little stick
Till you page your buddies to come napalm me
God damn that shit burned
Blew away my whole city
Ho Chi Minh
Shoot a load on your chin
God damn that's a sad goygo goodbye
And if you wanna come in
You can work into my world
Where the yellow shit begins
HAAI YA!
Can't be tamed
I got shit to control your brain
And it's called Egg Foo Yung
And Lo Mein
So come on in baby and have just the same
HAI YA!
HAAAAAAH!
Everyone: ...
Splendont: What?
Evil: *Bursts out laughing* DAMN GIRL! THAT WAS HOT FO SHIZZLE IN MAH HIZZLE!
Flaky: *Nudges him*
Evil: *Stops* ...HAMMER TIME! *Starts dancing randomly*
Krystal: God damnit, Evil. Okay, Disco Bear. You're gonna go to Las Vegas, and spend the night at The Spotlight Lounge.
Flippy: Isn't that a ga-
Krystal: SHUT UP! He doesn't know...just shush...
Disco Bear: The Spotlight Lounge...sounds funky and fun!
Krystal: Ohhh you bet it is... *Poofs him to the lounge*
Disco B : ...OH DEAR GOD IT'S A GAY BAR! GET ME OUTTA HERE!
Krystal: Let's leave him in there...alright. *Poofs Cubs mum back*
Pop: MA!
Ma: *Shoves hand in his face* Shut up. Heeeeey, Cubby-boo!
Cub: Ma-ma! *Hugs her tightly*
Ma: Awww, Cubby-boo! *Snuggles against him*
Evil: Aww ,isn't that 'dorable?
Krystal: Pop got denied.
Pop: Ass hole.
Krystal: Say you're sorry for eating her...
Ma: Yeah! Are your jealous that Cub loves me more!
Everyone: *Gasp*
Pop: F-fine. I'm...sorry for eating you...I WAS HUNGRY OKAY? Geeze...
Ma: That's alright! *Drags him off to the closet*
Krystal: I just wanna let you guys know, we're gonna skip the dare with Sudan Husain. I really hate war, and since he's been a major part in it, I'm wanna skip it. Sorry.
Flippy: So...that doesn't mean I have to dress up as Justin Gay Ass?
Krystal: ...Nuh, you still have to dress up like him, but you still get to decapitate him and shove it in liquid nitrogen.
Flippy:...DAMN IT! Wait...*Dresses up as him* Noooowww can I kill him?
Krystal: Sure thing.
Flippy: AHAHAHAHHH! *Runs off with a machete*
Krystal: Anyway.
Splendid: Yes. I know I suck. *Looks dreamily at Toothy* Literally.
Toothy: *Blushes* Oh, you.
Petunia: Aww!
Krystal: Was that a sexual innuendo? Who cares! Evil, you like dancing, don't you?
Evil: *Still 'Hammertiming'* Ya'll bet!
Krystal: Well...why do you like dancing for?
Evil: It makes me feel seksii!
Sniffles: Uhh, you do know 'seksii' isn't a word, right?
Evil: SHUT UP, FOO! *Bitch slaps*
Sniffles: *Goes to cry in a corner*
Krystal: Well, awkward moment...I guess, bye?
Evil: Wait, STOP!
Everyone: Whaaaatt?
Evil: HAMMERTIME! *Starts grooving better than Disco Bear can*
Flippy: *Sneaks up and puts a $50 note in his shirt*
Krystal: We can all see you, Flippy...
Flippy: But he can't :3
Krystal: Whatever, bye! :D