A/N: I wanted to give a shout out to hpdanrad, a wonderful individual who's review reminded me that I've really been shirking my duties as a fanfiction writer. I want to give you the big ramble about how university sucks and I'm so busy I want to curl up in a ball and cry… Instead, I'm going to write the emotional chapter I've been avoiding simple because it is so emotional. Or I think it's going to be emotional, at least. I'm writing this before I write the chapter so I'm not really sure yet… ANYWAY. I'm sorry for my hiatus, and I hope you enjoy what I have in store for you. Be warned: it's fluffier than a fucking bunny.

xoxo

Chaos

Chapter Fourteen

Draco pulled himself into consciousness to the sound of music drifting through his open bedroom door. He remembered carrying Hermione upstairs to his bedroom, tucking her in, and sitting in the chair next to the bed to keep watch over her, to make sure she really was okay, and to let her know that she was not alone. He must have fallen asleep as well and while it was well-deserved rest, Hermione was no longer in the bed. He stood up, stretched the ache out of his muscles, and made his way quietly downstairs, following the sound of music until he was standing in the doorway of the sitting room.

Seated at the baby grand piano his mother had bought him when he was only a child was Hermione. She hadn't put any lights on, but the pale glow from the window illuminated her face just enough that he could see her eyes were closed. He watched her hands move over the keys as she came to the dizzying finale of a song he had never heard before. She brought her hands down to rest in her lap.

"It's a piano version of this song that really fit my mood called "All I Need" by this Muggle band, Within Temptation. It's truly a beautiful piece, and the woman who sings it has the most beautiful voice I've ever heard in my life," she said softly.

"You played it beautifully."

"Thank you. I'm sorry I woke you. I just remembered you had a piano and I had the urge to play… and the shirt… My clothes were dirty, and I needed to shower… I just kind of helped myself."

"Hey, there's no need to apologize. I'm glad I was finally able to hear you play, and you look better in my shirt than I do. I want you to feel at ease around me, Hermione. No need to ask permission to do anything."

"I'll try to keep that in mind."

She moved over and made room for him on the bench, and he took her offer graciously. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her so that her head was resting on his shoulder.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. I'm so…. I'm so confused, Draco. I tried so hard to stop myself from letting you know how I felt. I didn't want you to know."

"Why not?"

"When you like someone… when you let them know you have feelings for them… you give them a power over you. Your life is no longer your own. Your emotions no longer fully belong to you. They become dependent on that person's opinion. I can't afford to give anyone that kind of power over me, Draco. Every time I've ever cared for someone, they've betrayed me or hurt me or they've… or they've died. I've lost too many people, suffered too much to risk any more of it."

"Hermione… You are not the only one who has suffered. I have lost people I've loved as well. I've come out of the war scarred and marked… and not just in the physical sense. I wasn't prepared for you. I wasn't prepared to feel so strongly for someone so soon after so much pain… But there you were. You lit up my world, Hermione, and God knows I tried to stop myself from falling for you. You're just so damned beautiful and sweet and absolutely amazing. You're the only person, except for Blaise, that I've felt I could really just be myself around. I know you've been hurt, Hermione, but so have I. I was thinking we might be able to put the pieces back together for one another, or try to at least."

He cupped her face in his hand and turned her so she was looking into his eyes. "I love you, Hermione. You told me you loved me too. I don't want to pretend that everything is going to be alright. I can't promise you forever. I can promise that right now there is no one else in the world I would rather be sitting here with and that when I look at you, my stomach does a little flip and that when I think of kissing you, properly kissing you, everything else fades away and the places inside of me that ache still hurt a little less. I hope that can be enough for you for now."

She closed her eyes, breaking eye contact with him, and let out the breath she had been holding in. Then she nodded once, opened her eyes, and looked at him again. "It's more than enough, Draco. It's more than I had hoped for. It's not going to be easy. I'm not going to promise there won't be some struggling to get used to this, but I promise you that this is exactly where I want to be right now, here with you and I hope that's enough for you."

"More than enough."

He leaned his forehead against hers and let their noses touch. "I want to kiss you again, Hermione. Can you promise me you won't leave this time?"

She hesitated for just a moment before promising and when his lips met hers this time, he knew that she was his.