Disclaimer: It's J.K.'s world, and I just like to play in it because she has the coolest toys, so welcome to the game. And when I'm done, I promise I'll put them all away.
A/N: Please bear with me through these next few chapters. Ironic as it was that the death chapter was to appear on April first, I can assure you it was not some horrid April Fool's prank. Please just trust in me and bear with me. I understand the pain and anguish you are going through, you are empathizing with him and after all, this is very tragic indeed. I did label the story as "Romance/Angst" meaning very sad and tragic, almost horrid at times. Again, please bear with me, though I promise nothing, a brighter future is always an option. Then again so is a darker one.
Black was the color that over shadowed the castle and the sky. Rather than the bright and cheery flags that normally hung in the Great Hall, large black banners were draped from its ceiling due to recent events. Everyone wore black, masses of students and teachers began to gather into the hall, a coffin surrounded by flowers at the head of the room where the staff table should have been. The students sat with their houses, and the teachers in the front row. For someone who claimed she was neither liked nor loved, there seemed not to be a dry eye for miles.
Severus stood just outside the door to the hall, weary of going in for the funeral. It would start in just a few moments and he had not slept since the attack, two days ago. He had clung hopelessly to her lifeless body not allowing anyone near her, not even Albus Dumbledore. When reality finally sank in, and he finally gave her up, he stayed at her side, stroking her lifeless hand for hours until they placed her in her coffin. He had been allowed to change her clothes, picking a set of festive gold and scarlet dress robes for her burial. Even once the coffin had been moved to the Great Hall, he did not leave her side, until just an hour before the service was to begin.
His eyes were sunk deep into his pale ghost of a face, a haunted gaze captured within them. It was as if sleep were the enemy, if he were to leave her side and nod off she might miraculously spring to live and he would miss it. So he remained exhausted his body at the brink of collapse. Showering just an hour ago, for no more then a few moments, he vowed to himself he would at least try to look decent for her wake, after all she would have wanted it that way.
The room was filled with tears, he would not, could not cry for her here. It would do her memory no justice if he did. Slowly, he crept into the room passing by the coffin, and tossed hie beloved a glance. Her pale face made her look as if she were asleep, ready to sit up and grace his eyes with her shining smile. Only she remained motionless, lying dead in her coffin as he took his seat beside Professor McGonagall.
It was clear the woman had been weeping for quite some time, her eyes swollen and pink. She too wore all black, with the rest of the staff. The room grew unnaturally silent as Albus Dumbledore rose to his feet, his figure moving slowly towards her coffin. Black was clearly not a color that the old wizard wore often and it made him look sincerely grave, adding to the already overbearing sorrow that resonated within the room.
"It is with my deepest sorrow…" he began slowly, looking out over the crowd of weeping, black-clad students and teachers. "…that I have had to gather you all here today as you are." He paused and drew in a slow breath. "We are all deeply saddened by the loss of Miss Hermione Granger, it is always a tragedy to lose someone to the forces of evil, and what a person we have lost." The old wizard bowed his head, closing his eyes briefly before continuing, his voice wavering with tears. "Hermione Granger was the brightest, most intelligent mind that ever graced Hogwarts with her presence… and honor and a privilege… and I cannot express how it pains me so… to know that we as a school will never have that privilege again."
Professor McGonagall buried her face in the side of Madam Hooch's shoulder and began to sob. "However, as difficult as this is for all of us…we must remember her life and not dwell on her death. She would not want it to be so." His words rang through the hall, echoing around in everyone's ear. "We must also remember…that death, in a sense, is not the end, but merely life's next great adventure. And we must hope that wherever this great adventure leads our dearly departed, that we are able to move on through our own adventure of life."
Albus cleared his throat and stepped forward toward the crowd. "I ask, due to the time and circumstances, that you pay your respects and leave the Great Hall back to your dormitories, preparing to go home. As you are fully aware Christmas holidays are starting earlier this year due to recent events, and the Hogwarts express will be waiting in Hogsmeade in less then an hour. So please students go, pack your things and go home for the holidays." He bowed his head and waved his arms to dismiss them. Students and teachers alike stood in a bit of a hurry, passing briefly by her coffin, muttering a word or two, before exiting the hall.
Severus was the only one left in the hall as the lights dimmed down. He approached her coffin slowly, eyes trembling, threatening to spill over with tears. Her soft pale skin radiated in the light of the few dozen candles lit around her, and her chocolate locks splayed out around her creating a halo-ed pillow of hair on which her head rested. Slipping his fingers into his pocket he drew a small pocketknife and twisted a lock of her hair between his fingers. Severing the lock, he sealed it in a phial and hung the phial around his neck.
Tears began to flow forth from his eyes, dripping into the satin lining of her coffin. Her hands were clasped together, so cold and lifeless. He parted them and kissed the top of her right hand, slipping a silver and green ring over her finger. "My heart…" he pressed tight the ring and it glowed. "My soul…everything I am…and you've taken it with you…" tresses of hair clung to his tear stained cheeks as he clutched her hand tight in his, kneeling at the side of her coffin.
"Damn you to hell Lucius!" he shouted, knowing it would do no good, no amount of damning could bring her back from the dead. He was prostrated with grief, his body shaking violently. His eyes continued to pour forth with tears of anger, of hatred, grief guilt and sorrow as he clutched her hand tightly to his. "Damn them all!" Soft footsteps were heard behind him and a kind and gentle hand fell to his shoulder.
"Severus…you mustn't blame yourself…" the voice of Albus Dumbledore fell to his ear. "Please…leave her, you've done all that you can do…get yourself some rest, you look terrible…" he had changed from his robes of black to those of a deep purple.
"I will not you old crone!" his face turned red and then he calmed. "Forgive me Albus…I…I…"
"I understand Severus…please do try to get some sleep…it will do you good…" he nodded to the younger wizard and left. Again Severus stood alone at her coffin. The tears had not stopped and were now just a continual flow of water down his face.
"Hermione…get up." He said to her as if he actually expected her to rise up from the coffin. "Hermione please…" he begged her, again falling to his knees. She remained still in her coffin, not breathing, not moving, not even a flinch in her eyes. There was no hope as the headmaster's words echoed in his head. "Oh to hell with it all!" Standing rather quickly, Severus carefully clasped Hermione's hands back together and kissed her pale cold lips. She felt like ice, to the touch and he shuddered thinking of how he would never see her again.
With one final kiss he turned abruptly from the coffin and strode out of the Great Hall, not once looking back, his long black cape billowing behind him.
~*~
It was later that evening, all the students had gone home for a much extended and very early Christmas holiday. Albus had decided it best to leave Hermione's coffin in the Great Hall and that the few remaining staff members could dine in the third floor staff lounge. To his knowledge, the headmaster, Minerva aside, was the only other person who knew of his relationship with Hermione. He still assumed that they didn't know how far things had gone, but he knew that Albus knew his intentions were pure.
They sat together, no words spoken, Albus, Minerva, Severus and Poppy. She had opted to stay for the duration of the holidays to ensure the well being of the other three, but Severus knew it was mainly because Albus had asked her to keep a close watch on him. Dinner was hardly appetizing and the only sound that was heard was the occasional clink of silverware and glass. After nearly an hour of silence, he could take it no more.
Severus slammed his glass down on the table, shattering it and sending water everywhere. He rose in a fury, knocking over his chair and stormed out of the room, heading for the dungeons. Minerva looked startled, almost frightened but Albus shook his head, signaling her not worry. "We're just going to have to be careful around him. Remember Minerva, what it was like for you to lose Patrick all those years ago…"
"Oh lord rest his soul…" her eyes filled with tears, recalling her husband lost to Death Eaters.
"And mind you this is not the first time he has gone through this…." Albus added.
"What could one possibly do in a lifetime so short as Severus' to deserve this much pain and torture?" asked Poppy as she sipped her pumpkin juice.
"The world works in mysterious ways Poppy…" he sighed and sipped his water.
~*~
Severus, rather then run down the stairs to the Great Hall, had headed north and ended himself up at the Astronomy Tower. The wind was bitter on that cold December night and the sky was black, like that of an ebony raven. He leaned up against the parapet, daring himself to dive over it, looking out across the grounds. All was silent and still, not a wind to be felt nor a bat to be seen. Even the lake was calmed, completely unmoving. No moon was in the sky, nor stars to light the night, just sorrow and grief in his heart.
His eyes blurred as he looked out toward the woods, the entrance to his hidden garden. Severus did a double take. She was there, standing in white at the entrance to the woods. "Hermione!" he shouted and tore off from the tower like a bat out of hell. He flew down seven flights of stairs before throttling himself out the fourth floor window and falling to the ground. Immediately he got to his feet and took off running for the edge of the woods.
As he approached her pale white figure, almost ghostly, disappeared into the woods, a soft giggle coming from within. That did not stop him. He ran down the path, chasing after the fading image of his love as she glided nearer and nearer the garden. "Hermione!" he called again but she did not stop. Severus reached the garden, she had floated through the mossy wall, and he burst into it, only to find it empty.
His heart sank, Hermione was no where to be seen. Suddenly an icy hand clamped down on his back. Severus whirled around and was faced with the icy sneer of Lucius Malfoy. "Traitor…" hissed the pale man. He gazed into Malfoy's steel gray eyes, every nerve in his body twitching to life with anger. "And now your silly girl is lost, as soon will be your life to the Dark Lord…"
"Bastard!" Severus wrenched himself from Lucius' grip and hurled him to the ground. Immediately he jumped on top of him and began strangling his neck about as if it were a dogs chew toy. "You filthy bastard! It's your fault she's dead!"
Lucius kicked up, reversed positions landing on top of Severus, and held his neck tight. "You are the filthy bastard! Endangering our very existence!" he clutched his fingers into his throat and began to strangle him. Severus gasped for breath and did the only thing he could think to do, he growled low and bit the other man hard in the shoulder. "Argh!" he cried out feeling Severus' teeth sink into his flesh.
They tumbled on the dirt, his fist making contact with Malfoy's jaw and blood running on his hands as he bled. Lucius again pinned him and sneered down, drawing a dagger. "You've come to the end of your life my friend…" he reached back and heaved the dagger forward slowly. "Go join both your filthy little mudbloods…in hell!" Severus bucked wildly beneath him, tossing him off and scrambling quickly to pin him down, the dagger flung from Lucius' hand into the brook.
"You'll be the only going to hell Malfoy!" Severus tightened his grip around the other man's neck.
Lucius attempted to struggle back. "Get the hell off me! Just wait until the Dark Lord learns of your infidelity!" Severus grabbed him round the neck again and thrust him hard back into the ground. With a satisfying crack, Lucius' neck fell limp and his head lulled about to one side. Blood began to trickle forth from his nose and mouth as Severus stood from him and gave him a harsh kick in the ribs.
"Dead men tell no tales Lucius." He sneered and kicked the body into the brook, to be taken downstream to the lake. It did not bring her back but the world was now minus one more evil being. Kneeling at the edge of the water, he dipped his hands and face in, clearing the blood from his skin. Severus slowed his pace upon leaving the garden and headed slowly back up to the castle.