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Um...reality?
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"There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting."
-Mark Twain
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Tommy and Kim, twin expressions of frustration marring their pretty faces, smacked the redhead whose face was planted down on an open textbook. When the girl didn't respond, Kim poured the half-open bottle of coke (Jolt - filled to the brim with caffeine) over her head.
Author - What?! Wha' happened? Did I miss my exam?
Kim - No, but you will when I karate-chop your ass. What is your problem?
Author - Huh?
Tommy - Um, what she is getting at, is why in the hell are you doing this to us?
Author - Huh?
Kim - Ugh! Hon, you've been a completely evil wench to us! Do you realize that you've ruined our lives, ruined our friends lives, and now have left us to fend for ourselves? Really, what were you thinking?
Author - I'm...sorry?
Tommy - You can't just do that to us. You can't just ruin my life and expect to sit on your ass for months!
Author - Dude, that's not fair! You've got a PhD, you should know all about higher education. I'm trying to balance taking too many classes, acting as Vice President for my club, a job, an extra job for school, which I sadly don't even get paid for, but I'm an idiot and decided to take it on as a favor; despite my head's urging to take the extra time to catch up on sleep; and, to top it all off, I'm in the midst of midterms. Can't you take some pity on me?
Kim - Um, did you take pity on me in chapter 4 when you told everyone my secret? I think not.
Tommy - Yeah, and what's with you making me all hot and bothered around her, but not allowing me to get any? The sexual tension is going to kill us!
Author - Shut up, you're not even at the sexual tension part. I haven't begun to torture you yet.
Tommy - You are evil.
Kim - Ditto. And what the hell? How long have I been gone, anyway? Doesn't my dog deserve to get some attention. Are you leaving him all alone strictly because you're a cat person?
Author - Irrelevant. You shall see your dog soon enough. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have an exam to study for on top of writing a huge paper.
Tommy - Well, put down the stupid books. We know you have a fascination with characters other than us.
Author - I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about.
Tommy - Oh, please. Stupid is a bad look for you.
Kim - Seriously. Who the hell is Harry Potter?! And who gives you a right to spend time swooning over those freaks, Bella and Edward? What, Tommy and I aren't enough for you now?
Author - No, it's not that. I just have been busy and those characters have sort of been appeasing me lately. You two aren't the center of the universe, you know.
Tommy - No, but we're the center of the Power Ranger-verse. Now, suck it up, get your shit done, and start writing another chapter. I'm sick of counting everything.
Kim - And can you please get me to lighten up. I'm getting bored over here with all the angst.
Author - (shamefully hangs head) Fine. I'm sorry, guys. I'll start writing you two again. I will, I promise.
Kim - Your promise is probably as good as Rita's.
Author - Harsh.
Tommy - But true. So go work on your assignments and if I see that Edward character walking around again, I'm going to kill him.
Author - Um, good luck with that. The guy is a vampire.
Tommy - Well I'm a Power Ranger!
Kim - He's so cute when he goes all cliche like that, don't you think?
Author - Sadly, yes.
Yeah, does that sum everything up? Those two have been bitching at me lately so don't worry, I shall write again. Also, this method of A/N sadly isn't mine (but it's inspired by the brilliant DQRC). I thought it was better than whining to you guys.
Tootles!