Chapter 13
It was Saturday, and it was late into the night when Harry left the Common Room. It was way after dinner, at which he hadn't eaten much. The other boys were already preparing for bed in the dormitory, and Draco asked what he was going to do at that time, but the boy only told him that he needed to get out of there and be alone for a bit. Harry was now walking through the corridors with no expression, only looking into the dark ahead, almost the only thing he could see, if it wasn't for the natural light of the night. He wasn't walking without destination, he knew where to go and what for, he had made up his mind.
A few minutes later, he stopped in front of a closed classroom door, and it was where they used to have Potions. He entered, still not looking anywhere but ahead. He got close to a little shelf. Took his wand out of his pocked and raised it in his hand.
"Lumos." He said, and so a light appeared.
In the shelf there were tons of flasks of all sizes with liquids that were thick, others watery, of neutral colors, and vibrant, with small and old labels, in which some the letters were hard to be understood. His eyes started to move quickly all around, seeming to look for something specific. He analyzed all the flasks for a few minutes, more than once to be sure he wasn't missing something, and trying to do as little noise as possible. He felt stupid when remembering that he had organized all that in the detention a few nights before, and that at the time, he hadn't seen what he now intended to have.
He sighed, thinking about the only other place where there would be what he wanted. He turned around and walked in the same direction as he'd came. That time he only walked for thirty seconds, since it was close to the Potions classroom. He stopped in front of another door. He put the hand on the doorknob and pushed twice but it didn't open.
"Alohomora." He said, pointing the wand at the lock. Immediately he heard a 'click', and then he knew it had worked. "That was easy", Harry thought.
He opened the door, took a step forward and closed it again. He saw himself inside a cubicle, of not too much width giving it's name, but looking up it could be seen that it had considerable height to the ceiling. It even had a ladder on the shelves, so the person could move and get to places where neither the normal man and the tallest could reach.
"Lumos Maxima." He whispered, and a bit more light appeared inside the cubicle. That was Snape's stock. Every potion, every ingredient, every plant and even every poison, possible and imaginable.
Still with his feet on the floor, he looked around a bit. Then, he put a foot after the other on the ladder, gradually going up. On the fourth step, he saw a big black and old box, with a not very subtle label with the word "Poisons". With a bit of effort, it opened. There were five rows of ten little flasks. He grabbed some of the, but got t right on the sixth time, the eighth flask on the fourth row being the one he wanted. "Dragon Poison" was what the label said. That poison was definitely toxic, however, there was the possibility of it not being lethal. At least not with the amount on the flask. It didn't take long to find an identical one, with the same gray liquid.
He got off the ladder and fell sitting on the cold floor, looking at the flasks, one in each hand. He knew that with both, the poison would be lethal at the end of a few hours, between five and seven. It was probably thirty minutes after midnight at that moment, and being a Sunday, he wouldn't need to get up early for class, so he knew he would still be asleep when the poison reached the required efficacy. Nobody would notice.
He took the little stopper out of the first flask. The right hand was shaking while he elevated it to the height of the mouth. He had to do it, he couldn't keep living, not like that. Even if he didn't do it, what would be the purpose? He was still dying, when was still unsure, but he would. After all, that was the ultimate condition of his being. Find his mate and be with him. Any less than that was death, and that's the situation he was in. Besides, if he didn't take the poison, it would be a very much slower and painful death, and honestly, Harry didn't want that. He would never be able to deal with the physical and psychological pain. Eventually he would still commit suicide, so why not at that moment? At least he would be spared. "Do it, don't be a coward", was what the boy was thinking. He swallowed the flask's liquid all at once.
He took the stopper out of the second flask. It was his end. He had found his partner, just to lose him some time after. He thought during those days, about why Severus, knowing about his condition, would reject him like that, leave him heartbroken. It didn't make much sense, but in a way he preferred it. If the man didn't really want him, Harry also didn't want him to be with him for pity. That would end up being revealed too, sooner or later. It all had seemed so real though. Maybe Harry was just deluded.
"What a fucking life." He murmured. His hand hesitated up and down.
Every moment he and Severus had spent together were the best in his life, when Harry couldn't imagine a better feeling. Nothing could've predicted this end. Maybe those moment were just a trick from destiny to balance the bad and good of his living. So that all wouldn't come down to a word, shit. If it was all going to end like that however, it didn't make sense. It was the best thing he could do for himself and it was too late to go back, he couldn't. Then, Harry took the second flask to his mouth and swallowed its content.