"Goodbye until tomorrow
Goodbye till I recall how to breathe
And I have been waiting
I have been waiting for you
I stand on a precipice
I struggle to keep my balance
I open myself
I open myself one stitch at a time"
- "Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You" from The Last Five Years
"There's a ghost in my lungs and it sighs in my sleep
Wraps itself around my tongue as it softly speaks
Then it walks, then it walks with my legs
To fall, to fall, to fall at your feet
There but for the grace of God go I
And when you kiss me, I am happy enough to die"
- "I'm Not Calling You a Liar" by Florence + the Machine
Year One
When they file off the boat, Regina starts to feel like she can breathe easier. Henry shuffles along beside her, clinging to her hand like he hasn't since he was small, eyes squinting in the sunlight, Emma on his other side. Henry looks up at her and grins; she smiles back and pauses to brush his bangs out of his eyes.
Emma catches her eye and gives her a small smile. "So, I guess we made it back."
"We did," Regina agrees, squeezing Henry's hand as she smiles back at Emma.
Henry leans into her and asks, "Can we go home now?"
"Sure, kid," Emma says as she looks back at Regina. "I guess I'll see you two later?"
Regina blinks. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you're taking him home and I'm going with my parents back to their place to shower and sleep forever," Emma replies slowly, frowning.
Regina just stands there looking at her, takes in the way Emma is still holding tight to Henry's hand, thinks about how impossible it is to let go of him now.
"Why don't you come with us?" Regina says.
Emma raises her eyebrows. "Are you sure?"
Regina shrugs and says, "Yes. I have plenty of room for everyone."
"Yeah, come home with us," Henry says, tugging on Emma's hand. "Let's go."
"Okay," Emma says quietly as she looks from Henry to Regina, eyes shining.
Regina nods, throat tight as she leads Henry away, Emma in tow.
After a blissfully long shower in which she uses all of the hot water, replenishes it with her magic, and uses it all up again, Regina goes back to Henry's room to check on him. She had left him with Emma so she could get her turn in the bathroom, but she can't quite bear the idea of going to bed without seeing him one more time to make sure that he really is here, that he's safe and sound.
She eases his bedroom door open and slips inside the dark room. She takes one step towards his bed and trips over Emma's sprawled legs; she manages to steady herself on the wall and looks down to see Emma sitting with her back against the wall.
"Sorry," Emma whispers as she tilts her head up.
Regina waves her hand and looks in the direction of the bed, watches as Henry's chest moves slowly up and down with each breath. She smiles a little and the tension bleeds out of her shoulders.
There's a tug on her pajama pants, and Regina glances back down at Emma and hisses, "What?"
"Sit with me?" Emma asks as she pats the floor beside her.
Regina stays still for a moment, longing for her bed after over a week of sleeping on the ground, but Henry is in this room. She shuffles a little to the side and settles on the floor beside Emma with a soft groan as her muscles protest every movement. Emma chuckles and leans her head back against the wall. Regina grimaces and stretches her legs out in front of her.
"You didn't like the offer of the guest room?" Regina asks.
"I appreciated it but I realized after you left to get your shower that I wouldn't be able to sleep in there. Not since—" Emma stops and looks away.
Regina reaches over and puts her hand on Emma's knee. "I know. It's why I came back in here."
She catches the hint of a smile on Emma's face. She can feel the warmth of Emma's skin through the thin fabric of her pajama pants; she should move her hand, but she can't quite bring herself to do it. Then Emma covers Regina's hand with her own, and Regina flushes in the dark.
"Henry decided that he wants to call me 'Ma'," Emma says softly as she brushes her thumb along the back of Regina's hand.
Regina's breath catches in her throat; she manages to get out, "That should cut down on any confusion in the future."
Emma looks at her as she says, "But it's okay with you?"
Regina sighs and says, "He's our son, isn't he? Don't you think he should call you something other than your name?"
"Our son?" Emma repeats, eyes wide as she leans closer to Regina.
"Our son," Regina says firmly, curling her legs up and turning towards Emma with a small smile.
Henry slides into the booth across from her and steals a fry off her plate. "So, how did it go?"
Regina shrugs and pushes her plate closer to Henry, smiling when he takes a handful of fries. "It was fine. Did you have fun with Emma and Neal?"
"We got ice cream," he replies as he shoves fries into his mouth three at a time. "Come on, Mom, this was your first date with this guy. Didn't Tink say he's your soulmate or something?"
"First of all, Tink should learn how to keep some information to herself," Regina says, rolling her eyes. "Secondly, it was only a date, Henry. It doesn't mean that anything will happen. And it certainly doesn't mean that I believe I'm fated to be with Robin."
"Oh, right, that's his name." Henry nods and wipes his hands off on a napkin. "Ma was asking about it all day."
"Oh?" Regina prompts as she folds her arms on the table.
"Yeah, she had a million questions about you and Robin and how you knew him and why you were going on a date with him," he says as he folds the napkin into a small square. "It was weird."
"Well, you don't have to worry about it because I won't be going on a second date with him," Regina says with a small sigh.
"Didn't like him?" Henry asks.
Regina shakes her head and takes a sip of her water. "No, he was nice. I just didn't feel—" She stops and laughs. "Maybe that's it. I just didn't feel anything while I was talking with him."
"Is that because there's someone else you want to be with?" Henry gives her a sly look and swipes the rest of her fries.
Regina snorts and says, "Don't be ridiculous, Henry. What would even give you that idea?"
"Oh, I don't know," he says with a shrug of his shoulders. "Is Ma still coming over for dinner?"
"As far as I know," Regina says slowly.
"Okay, then. Good." Henry grins as he finishes his stolen fries.
Regina smiles and slides out of her side of the booth. As she's putting on her jacket, Emma comes into the diner, grinning when she sees Henry. Emma waves then makes her way over while Regina stays rooted in place, trying to ignore Emma's wind-tousled hair and bright eyes and pink cheeks, the way Emma's smile brightens when she looks at Regina even though Regina knows that's because of Henry.
"Hey, glad I caught you," Emma says as she pushes her hair out of her face and shoves her hands in her back pockets. "Do you want to watch a movie after dinner tonight? I can raid my collection to find something."
"That sounds good," Henry replies before Regina can answer. He gives her a cheeky smile and says, "We haven't watched The Mummy together yet. It's one of our favorites."
"Yeah?" Emma asks as she glances at Regina, and Regina manages to nod her head.
"Yeah, Mom loves it," Henry says as he pulls his coat on.
"It looks like my secret is out," Regina says, shrugging and putting a hand on Henry's shoulder as she looks at Emma. "So you'll come at your usual time?"
Emma smiles and says, "Yeah, I'll be there."
"So, how exactly does this whole town line thing work?" Tamara asks as she follows Regina around the car. "Does the memory loss affect anyone who crosses over the line? Or are you exempt? And, why do people lose their memories?"
"As far as I know, it affects everyone except for Emma, Henry, and me," Regina says as she walks up to the line. "And now you. As to why people lose their memories and revert back to their cursed selves, well—that's what we're here to try and figure out."
Tamara nods and says, "Out of curiosity, did anyone try to cross the line after the curse broke but before magic was brought into Storybrooke?"
"I don't believe so," Regina replies slowly as she glances at Tamara. "Do you think they're linked?"
"It's possible," Tamara says. She looks away. "Magic tends to act oddly in this world."
Regina presses her lips together and reaches a hand out, hissing when she presses up against the border. She pushes her magic out slowly and guides it along the border, testing the immediate area for any weak places or possible clues as to how it actually works. When she doesn't find anything, she pulses her magic. The answering backlash stings against her palm, and Regina pulls her hand away quickly, clenching her hand into a fist.
"Did something happen?" Tamara asks as she comes up behind Regina. "Are you hurt?"
"It doesn't like to be poked," Regina mutters as she flexes her hand and the burning in her skin fades. "But I could feel the curse's magic trapped in it."
"Really?" Tamara's eyes light up as she pulls out a small notepad and pencil. "You can tell the difference between certain kinds of magic? Is there anything else present? Can you describe it for me?"
"You're certainly curious," Regina says with a small laugh. "But, yes, I can tell the difference between types of magic. I don't know if I can describe it off the top of my head, though."
Tamara nods and takes down a few notes, saying, "Well, when you asked me to help you with this, we agreed that you would handle all the magic while I observe and run models and provide my knowledge about how magic tends to operate in this world. Which, I am surprised that you asked me to help you with anything."
"I don't know why," Regina replies, rocking back on her heels and crossing her arms over her stomach. "If you were going to try anything, it would have been a lot easier when you were sleeping in my guest room right after we got back. And about the rest, well—you helped us save Henry."
"After I kidnapped him," Tamara says in a soft voice. She looks away and lets out a bitter laugh. "I don't get you. At all. I help torture you, try to kill all of you, kidnap your kid, and you saved my life."
"You're painting a much kinder portrait of me than I deserve," Regina says, starting to reach out to Tamara and stopping, curling her fingers back over her palm into a loose fist and dropping her hands back to her sides. "You know what I did to Owen's father. And I've done worse. I have a much longer list of crimes than that."
"So do I," Tamara says with a small shake of her head. "You didn't deserve what I did."
Regina smiles just the slightest bit as she says, "And you didn't deserve to die. So we'll just call it even."
"I think I can do that," Tamara says, smiling in answer.
Regina tilts her head to the side and gestures towards the border. "So, shall we get back to work?"
"Mom, you're going to be late!" Henry yells up the stairs at her.
Regina rolls her eyes and doesn't budge from in front of her closet. "Stop bellowing, Henry. I still have plenty of time."
She hadn't been expecting this, not really; thinking about dating Emma Swan and having it be a reality are two completely different things, and now that Saturday night is actually here, she's stalling, hesitating, thinking maybe she should just call it off. Everything has finally settled and she shouldn't risk it. She shouldn't—
"Are you dressed yet?" When she doesn't respond, he says at a slightly softer volume, "You only have thirty minutes until you said you'd be there. Come on, you have plenty of stuff to wear."
Huffing, she grabs the grey dress she was considering and unzips it, stepping into it and sliding it up over her hips. "You were of absolutely no help earlier when I asked what you thought I should wear."
"All of your clothes look good." He's right outside her door now. "And it's not like Ma cares. Can I come in?"
She finishes zipping her dress up and says, "You can come in. I just have to put in my earrings."
He sidles into the room and plops down on her bed, watching with an amused smile as she finishes slipping in her stud earrings and flicks some hair out of her eyes. She catches his gaze in the mirror and smiles, taking in his long growing limbs, the easy way he relaxes back onto her bed and props himself up by the elbows. Another reason not to follow through, even if Henry has been incredibly insistent that this is a good thing, that he's happy. She shakes her head and focuses on breathing, on the memories this brings to the surface.
"Do you remember when you were little and you would insist on sitting on my bed while I got ready for the day?" she asks, turning away from the mirror to face him.
He grimaces. "Come on, Mom, you're getting sappy on me. And I know you've been telling Ma all those embarrassing stories about me."
"And you would help me pick out my earrings and once, you even got into my make-up and had smeared my favorite lipstick all over your face before I could stop you," she says, ignoring his eye roll as she strides to the bed and sits down beside him. "You were so pleased with yourself."
"Do you ever miss it?" he asks.
"Miss what?"
"The time when I was little. Before—before everything." He looks away, his face shadowed, and she reaches out to stroke her fingers through his hair.
"I don't miss anything, mijo," she says softly, tucking her fingers under his chin and smiling when he looks at her. "You were my son then and you're my son now. There's nothing to miss. I just like to remember."
"And embarrass me," he says, his mouth turning up into a grin.
She taps her forefinger against his nose. "I suppose so. Now, are you sure you'll be all right tonight?"
"Granny's already waiting downstairs. I'll be fine. She's going to help me get past that really hard level in Batman before we go to the diner for dinner." He gets to his feet and turns, holding out a hand for her. When she takes it, he uses her momentum to pull her into a fierce hug. "I'm glad you're doing this. Ma really likes you."
"Oh, really?"
"Yeah. Do you like her?"
She bites her lip and tries to keep the grin off her face. "I think so. How do you feel about that?"
His eyes are soft, smile full of love and how did she get so lucky? "I just want you guys to be happy. So I guess as long as that happens, I'm happy, too."
He hugs her again, a brief squeeze before he jumps up off the bed and holds a hand out to her, his grip strong as he pulls her up beside him. She smooths a hand over the top of his head and then lets him race out of the room, yelling to Granny as he bolts down the stairs about his game. She takes a breath and follows him out.
Emma's fingers have just managed to unclasp Regina's bra when she hears, "Gross, Moms."
Regina jumps and pushes Emma away, twisting and tumbling back onto the couch as she wipes at her mouth and looks at Henry. Emma laughs even as she flushes and jumps off the couch. Henry rolls his eyes and grimaces as they both try to subtly readjust their clothes.
"You could at least wait until I'm out of the house," he says as he leans against the door to the study.
"To be fair, kid, we closed the door," Emma replies as she settles against the desk. "You're the one who didn't knock."
"I would have if I'd known what you were doing," Henry mutters as he looks away, his cheeks burning.
Regina sighs and pulls a pillow against her chest as she looks between Henry and Emma. "I'm sorry, Henry. We thought you were doing your homework."
"I finished," he mumbles, hunching his shoulders and refusing to meet her gaze. "I was going to see if you guys wanted to play a game or something, but, um, I'll just go back to my room and pretend that this didn't happen."
He bolts before she can say anything else. Regina slumps back against the couch as Emma pushes the door closed again and leans against it as she looks at Regina.
"So, do you think we've scarred him for life?" Emma asks with a small laugh.
Regina tries to fight the smile tugging at her lips as she says, "I don't know. If he actually saw the way you were feeling me up earlier, then I think so."
Emma quirks an eyebrow. "It's a good thing he didn't walk in any later. Because I was certainly planning on more than just copping a feel."
"Is that so?" Regina drawls as she puts the pillow to the side and licks her lips. "You're assuming that I would let you do more than that."
"Oh, I think you will," Emma replies lightly as she flips the lock on the door and strides back over to the couch, leaning over Regina and bracing her hands on the back of the couch.
Regina reaches up and presses the palm of her hand to the nape of Emma's neck, pulling her down into a kiss. Emma grins and kisses back as she pushes Regina back against the couch and settles back onto her lap.