"FUCK IT! THESE MISSIONS ARE BORING!" I yelled as we left the Hokage's office the third time that day to turn in our D-Rank mission papers.
"Yeah, Anko-sensei! These suck! When are we gonna go out, fight some S-Class Nin, save the damsel in distress or whatever?!" Daiki asked.
"You three are no where near ready to defeat anyone over Genin level." Anko said looking down at the three of us.
"Anko! Come on! I don't know about these two idiots, but I'm able to defeat chunin, I bet I can defeat a Jonin! I'm god, fuck it I can hand anybody's ass to them!" I said confidently.
"Oh is that so? Hear how about we have a bet? We'll do the bell test again. Get both bells, I'll give you three a C-Rank mission outside of the village. Fail, and you three get to do my paperwork back at the T&I building instead of your break times when we train!" Anko said with an arrogant smirk.
"YouBothAreIdiot, I'dRatherNotGetInvolvedSoICanGetMyPreciousBreakSinceWeHaveNoChanceAtAll. HaveFunBeingRoastedAlive, I'llAttendYourFunerals." Makoto said before sitting down.
"I guess Makoto here's the smartest one, and he knows you have no chance at winning this bet!" Anko said laughing.
"Oh, Anko, don't you know I've been doing private studying. I have some tricks up my sleeves that you wouldn't even believe! YEAH! I'M SO AWESOME EVEN NARUTO CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" I yelled.
Meanwhile, Naruto had a slight chill down his back as he was arguing with Sasuke, resulting in him getting whacked in the head by that damn Sakura.
"Yeah, Anko-sensei! I've been working on my taijutsu and ninjutsu solo! I've gotten way better since we last sparred!" Daiki exclaimed, excited to get in on the action.
"Oh, is that so? Let's begin!"
"Bitchin! Let's go!" I said.
"Daiki! Jump back! Umeko, use your Plum Blossom Punch!" Makoto's voice in my head said.
I looked over at him, and saw him doing the handsign and he seemed to be talking clear as day in my mind.
I smirked.
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! FIRE STYLE: FIRE BALL JUTSU BITCH!" I yelled kneading my chakra inside of my body, making it come out in a medium sized fireball that was hurling right towards Anko.
She smirked and dodged.
"Daiki! Use your Body Flicker and hit her with a short distance lightning attack!" Makoto's angry voice yelled in our heads.
Daiki almost appeared to transport forward and then he yelled, "Gentle Fist Variation: Fist Slam!" Daiki was now in the Gentle Fist position and his hands seemed to be surrounded with lightning chakra instead of the normal blue glow.
With each jab he took at Anko, she dodged each one effectively and easily.
Then he finally feinted one of his jabs, seeming to be going for her arm, when he was actually going for her stomach.
It actually hit her, making her pause for a moment before jumping back out of his reach.
"I've been hit with Gentle Fist before, but that felt different. What'd you do, brat?" Anko said slightly gasping for breath.
"My father created a variation of Gentle Fist that forces an amount of lightening chakra into your body instead of just our regular chakra. My dad's a genius, especially for someone from the Branch family of the great Hyuga clan!" Daiki said proudly.
"PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!" I yelled from behind Anko.
I gathered most of my chakra into my fist and punched her in knee.
"SHIT!" she yelled.
She fell down on the ground and looked up at me.
"See, this is what I hate about this world. Everyone feels like they need to talk during fights or explain what they did. THAT'S WHY YOU KICK THEY ASS WHILE THEY TALK AND IT'S ALL DONE AND OVER WITH!" I yelled about to punch her in the stomach.
She smirked and immediately poofed.
"No way..." I said looking down at nothing.
"How the hell was she a shadow clone?! She didn't poof when I hit her with the Gentle Fist!" Daiki exclaimed.
"I don't know, idiot! Maybe your precious taijutsu and Byakugan isn't as awesome as everyone says it is!" I said mockingly.
"Oh screw you! Like your weak little girl punch did anything! The only reason she poofed was to annoy me!"
"Oh did she? Did she really?" I asked.
"YEAH!"
"You, peasant, are getting on my nerves! LEARN YOUR PLACE!" I yelled, about to hit him with an ultra powered Plum Blossom Punch.
"BOTH OF YOU IGNORANT, DENSE, VACUOUS, IMBECILIC TWATTS! SHUT THE HELL UP AND FOCUS ON THE TASK AT HAND! WHILE YOU TWO WERE SCREWING AROUND ARGUEING ABOUT YOUR PETTY POWER LEVELS, SENSEI COULD HAVE EASILY PUT ALL OF US IN A GENJUTSU AND WE COULD LOSE! I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THE TWO OF YOU BUT I DON'T WANT TO SIT AROUND STAMPING PAPER AFTER PAPER AFTER PAPER! I WANT TO HAVE MY FREE TIME TO READ OR SOMETHING THAT WILL HELP ME GET SOMEWHERE IN LIFE! SO YOU TWO IDIOTS CAN STOP, SHUT UP, AND WORK TOGETHER BY MY ORDER TO WIN OR I SWEAR YOU WILL REGRET IT SINCE I CAN AND WILL GET THE TWO OF YOU ALONE AND USE A RUSTY KUNAI TO DIG OUT YOUR CORTEX'S AND FEED THEM TO MY DOG!" Makoto's angry voice yelled in our head.
"What's a cortex?" Daiki asked.
"Why the hell can't you talk like this in somewhere that's not our mindscape! Like in real life! Hell, that would make this more entertaining." I commented.
"Daiki, use your Byakugen to make sure that we're not in a genjutsu." Makoto's now calm voice said.
"We're all good." Daiki said.
"Alright, Team Four Star, minus a psychopath! Let's find our sensei!" I said.
"Scan the area for foreign chakra, or Anko." I commanded.
"*grumble* show you* grumble grumble* chakra" Daiki grumbled.
"Daiki, I swear to god..." Makoto warned.
"Did you call?" I asked, smirking.
"I don't see her, I've looked up, and all of our sides." Daiki said.
"Well, then there's another place she could possibly be. PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!" I yelled punching the ground with all my might.
She flew up out of the ground.
"It's about time you noticed!" Anko said. With a sadistic grin she began throwing senbon after senbon at us.
I quickly got my whip out and snapped it towards her ankle.
She immediately had a kunai out and threw it at where the whip was going, cutting threw the leather.
I pulled it back and saw that a fourth of it was cut off.
"Bitch just broke my whip." I said.
"Ah, really? I had no idea!" Anko commented sarcastically.
"Oh hell no! Show some respect for your god!" I yelled using every ounce of speed I could muster to be up there in a second.
I began barrage her with chakra infused punches and kicks.
She easily dodged or caught each one, throwing in a counter attack.
Daiki then joined in on the barrage. We both seemed to be efficiently attacking her as a team, which I'm sure she was happy to see.
That's when she took out a kunai and slashed my arm, than his calf.
At first it just burned, but then, it began to make me see things that weren't there. I saw all sort of images.
I saw Happy flying and landing in a tree, Rena from Higurashi giving me her psycho face, and what I thought was Kyubey on Anko's shoulder.
"Genjutsu?" I asked, falling down from disorientation.
"Ino?!" a blushing Daiki exclaimed looking as if he was disorientated also, staring at a tree.
"Who needs genjutsu when you have a poisoned kunai?" Anko said.
Suddenly, she paused.
"Er-Makoto!?" she exclaimed, frozen.
"Umeko,ThisIsMakoto. GrabTheBellsThisInstantSinceTheBestICanDoIsMakeHerFreezeForNoMoreThan10Seconds." Anko said quickly with her eyes glazed over.
I looked at the bells that were waving at me.
I tried to get up, but failed.
I crawled closer and grabbed at them.
I missed.
I was seeing three of everything.
I tried the middle one, missed again.
Then I went for the one on the left and felt the bells.
I grabbed them, and tried to pull them off.
I felt something sharp against my neck.
I looked up at Anko who had another kunai up against my neck.
"Come on, Umeko. You lost, we're done here." Anko said with a confident smirk.
I gave my own smirk, and felt myself begin to lose consciousness.
I was able to say one thing as I fell back with the bells still in my hands.
"Bitch please..." Then I blacked out.
I woke up in my dark purple room and rubbed the sleep boogers out of my eyes.
I saw my teddy bear and gave him a hug.
"Dougy, Doug!" I cooed at the stuffed bear.
"Good to see your awake, Umeko!" Anko's voice sang.
"Wha-What?! When?!" I kept stuttering, quickly hiding the stuffed bear behind my back.
"You've been out for a day! Hope you got good rest, our C-Rank starts in a few hours!" Anko sang before disappearing with a poof.
It took me a minute to process what she said.
"FUCK YEAH! HELL YES! LET'S GO! LET'S GO! ANDIAMO! ALLONS-Y BITCH!" I yelled.
Suddenly I heard running footsteps sounding like a bull.
"I feel a dark presence behind that door." I said calmly.
My mother ran in and immediately latched herself onto me.
"UMEKO! SWEET HEART! ARE YOU OKAY?! DO YOU NEED WATER? BANDAGES? ANYTHING?!" Mom asked, almost crying.
"Air would be appreciated, Mom!" I struggled to say.
She let go giving me a warm smile.
"No need to give me special treatment just cause I passed out... You can go to your favorite now." I said.
"Umeko, Sakura is not my favorite. I don't have a favorite!" Mom said.
"Oh really? Remember that surprise party for Sakura I wasn't invited to, despite the fact we have the same birthday?!" I growled.
"We sang your name too!" Mom defended.
"My name wasn't on the cake!" I said, slowly getting louder.
"THE BAKER WAS LATE ON GETTING THE SECOND CAKE, UMEKO!"
"LIES! IF YOU HATE WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY IT OUT LOUD?! OH NO, THEN WE'D LOOK LIKE AN IMPERFECT FAMILY! NOT THAT DOESN'T ALREADY LOOK LIKE ONE! SO WHY DON'T YOU GIVE YOUR FAKE WORRY TO SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY NEEDS IT?! MAYBE GIVE IT TO THAT WEAKLING SAKURA, I BET YOU SHE FELL DOWN AND GOT A CUT ON HER KNEE! AND SHE STILL NEEDS MOMMY TO FIX IT FOR HER!" I yelled.
"UMEKO! STOP TRYING TO PUSH EVERYONE AWAY FROM YOU! PEOPLE LOVE YOU WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!"
"TOLERATE! THAT'S ALL YOU DO! YOU'RE WAITING FOR THE DAY I TURN CHUNIN SO I CAN GET OUT, AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO WASTE YOUR PRECIOUS MONEY ON ONE OF THE BIGGEST FAILURES YOU'VE EVER HAD!"
"Umeko?" Dad's kind voice said.
I looked over at probably one the few people in my family I could tolerate.
"Hey, Dad." I said.
"I made some pickled plum rice balls, just the way you like them!" he said with a smile.
I gave him a smirk before getting up and leaving my room to go to the deliciousness of rice balls.
As I left, I passed Sakura who gave me an angry, yet sad look.
"What is it, Forehead?" I asked.
"You need to stop being so mean to Mom! She cares about us and you need to stop-"
"Noooooooooooot caring!" I sang.
That's when she threw a clumsy punch at me.
I caught it with out even looking at her.
I turned around and glared at her.
"Oh, shall we take this outside, Forehead?" I asked with a smirk.
"Ready when you are, bitch." Sakura said with a glare and smirk, identical to mine.
"I only have a few hours to finish this fight, pack, and maybe visit with Hinata. So, I'll finish this quick so I can do things that actual ninja would do." I said.
"I am an actual ninja!" she exclaimed.
"No, your a girl who stands with a kunai in her hands. Now, if you don't mind, I'll be throwing the first punch. PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!" I yelled.
I was instantly in front of her, giving her a good deck in the face.
She was thrown back and held her bloody nose.
She stood back up, getting out her kunai.
"Oh, look at that? A kunai? How extraordinary!" I said mockingly.
She put it in her mouth, before doing a hand sign.
"Clone Jutsu!" she exclaimed, running at me with three illusionary clones.
"Oh, that's cute. SHADOW CLONE JUTSU!" Three more me's punching the ground when the Sakura's got closer.
"PLUM BLOSSOM PUNCH!" we all yelled, punching with as much chakra as we could muster. Two Sakura's disappeared as they flew back. The real Sakura did a back flip and landed.
"Oh! You can do a back flip? I'm so impressed! But, you're so far away! Let's get you a little bit closer, shall we, sister dearest?" I said.
I got out my now fixed whip and snapped it towards her.
It wrapped around her waist and easily pulled her forward towards me.
I held out my fist and it collided with her face again.
She was still wrapped up so I gave her a sadistic smirk and began to repeatedly to kidney punches.
"Kidney punch! Kidney punch! Kidney punch! Aaaaand, kidney punch!" I said as I punched.
Now she was barely standing and looking at me with almost dazed eyes.
I unwrapped the whip, then poked her right in the forehead.
She fell down, hitting the ground like a sack of bricks.
I looked at the girl, laying there a bruised and bloody mess.
"Next time, challenge me after you've trained, instead of doing your hair." I said then, she was officially passed out.
I groaned and kneeled down, healing her.
Now, I did not make the bruises go away, since it was such a proud moment for me. But I at least made most of the pain go away. She would wake up within 30 minutes.
I put her on my back and used an attempted Body Flicker to carry her home.
I was in front of our house where I saw Mom gardening.
"Hi, Mom." I said setting her down.
She looked at Sakura who I sat on the ground.
"WHAT DID YOU DO?!" I could hear Mom's shout.
I Body flickered upstairs and quickly put all my stuff in the many storage scrolls I had.
I ran downstairs giving Dad a quick kiss on the cheek, hey don't judge me, I'm a Daddy's girl. Then I ran out the door, where Mom was checking Sakura's temperature.
"Bye, Mom! I said.
I ran to the Hyuga Compound where I was stopped by two Hyuga guards.
"Who are you?" they asked.
"Ko, Tokuma. You know who I am. And, Tokuma, dude, I'm on your son's team. You should know me WHEN YOU SEE ME! Seriously, you two have known me since I was kid visiting Hinata! Is this even necessary?!" I exclaimed.
"The total lack of respect and class makes it obvious this isn't some intruder. Who are you here for?" Ko asked.
"Hinata, who the hell did you think I was here for? That damn Neji who keeps stealing my training grounds? Or Daiki who I already have to spend enough time with!? Oh my god. I'm going to see, Hinata. BYE!" I said stomping past the two that did nothing to stop me.
I opened the door to the Clan head's house in the large compound.
I looked directly up at Hiashi Hyuga.
"Oh, hey Mr. Hinata's dad, sir!" I said.
"Oh, it's you. Why are you here? You know I don't approve of you being around my daughter." Hiashi said sternly.
"You know you love me. Since, if it wasn't for me and my amazing social skills, Hinata would still be stuttering and quiet. Now, I'm going to go see her now, bye!" I began to shove past him, when he grabbed my shoulder.
"Whoa, bro. Don't know ya like that! Don't touch me like that! Stranger danger, man!" I exclaimed.
"Take care of her." he said, almost looking like it pained him to say it.
"Yeah, okay..." I said.
I walked into her lavender room.
She looked at me as if she were surprised to see me.
"Umeko?" Hinata exclaimed.
"Hey, Hinata. I've gotta C-Rank mission in about an hour so I figured I'd stop by, and what is it that girls do? Talk? Yeah have that social activity thing." I said.
"I'm really happy for you and your team, Umeko!" Hinata said with a small smile.
"Your on the team with Daiki, right?" she asked.
"Sadly..." I grumbled.
"He's really nice when you get to know him!" Hinata said.
"Maybe to you, since you are the princess. But he's a total ass to me and our team. He abandoned us like scum, cause of some snake!" I exclaimed.
"His mother... His mother was killed by a snake when he was about nine. He was right there with her. She was telling him that they were beautiful, majestic creatures that were cunning and smart. When she picked it up, it bit her. She died within minutes, and Daiki froze. Neji found him frozen with tears running down his face about an hour later. She was really nice." Hinata said.
'Everybody has to have a damn backstory... Man, how am I gonna live with this?' I thought.
"Fine, I guess I learned not to use 'Your mom' comebacks." I said.
Hinata giggled.
"My team and I went to the Hokage mountain and picked flowers yesterday for this florist that was so sweet! She even taught me how to make a healing salve!"
"Oh, and here's when the conversation gets boring... Going now, bye!" I said quickly leaving.
mass-defect: This should take you about three minutes to read maybe! XD
easilyaddictedgirl: Hm... and no problem! The whip is so fun! I feel like I'm writing Indiana Jones!
Umeko: Girl, if I decide to tame that sheep, I'd be the dominate one. I'd where the pants in the family, and he'd where the skirts like off that weird chibi version of Naruto with Rock Lee and stuff.
TargetFailed: It's a maybe! I'm deciding between NejixUmeko and MakotoxUmeko.
Umeko: I ship myself with the only person that is equal to me in power and awesomeness. ME!
bacon of doom: There's this site called and you have to use Utorrent to download it. Loving it so far! T^T
Umeko: He hot, if I can say so myself. Buuuuuuut, I'm a high functioning sociopath, so I don't love.
As of yet... *BakaChan whispers ever so slightly*
Guest (Not GuestStar): Thanks a lot! And, *sigh* decisions, decisions... Makoto or Neji... Names... What's in a name?
Umeko: DAMN IT BAKACHAN DON'T QUOTE HAKUNA MATATA!
Actually it was originally in Romeo and Juliet
DON'T QUESTION THE ALMIGHTY UMEKO! I KNOW ALL!
Legendz25: If you notice, Umeko doesn't use the term sensei with teachers or masters. She just uses an insulting nickname or their real name if she actually semi-respects them. And there has also been a few time skips and I wanted to show a few things she learned to do. Like in this chapter, I showed she knows a bit of medical-ninjutsu. She's no prodigy, but she had to have perfect chakra control to use the Plum Blossom Punch (Cherry Blossom Clash in the Naruto video games) so she also did a bit of medical ninjutsu since these two both tie together with Tsunade. I really hope none of this came out rude! If it did, I'm sorry!
CaptorBlood:Hm... Knowing her, it's a high possibility. Actually, it's possible with whoever she gets with. *Thinks about Makoto in a Doug costume* PSHAHahahahhahahahAHAHhahhaahahahahaha!
Umeko: Ehhh... I was thinking she'd be my underpaid assistant. I was going to saving that job for Sakura so she can be forced into a Doug suit and have to say, "I'm a Bloody Idiot!" when ever someone walks into my shrine.
Slytherson: Loving your name! And, YAY! NEW FOLLOWER AND FAVORITER! Yuuuuuu make me so happy! :D And thank you for reading, friend with an amazing name (Harry Potter reference?) Now, all I have to do is find someone that has a Doctor Who reference name, or recognizes the Doctor Who reference in this chapter... Oh the happiness it shall bring me!
Umeko: Do I have a new person who would like to convert themselves to Umekoism? It's a simple process. Just get a teddy bear, name it Doug. Talk to it everyday about how awesome I am, then your done!
Bloodshot111: LOL
Umeko: So... Hi...
Himeno Kazehito: Stupid school, making me update less... ;P
Umeko: Happy to be a ninja...
Makoto: WeAreJustGenin, NothingExactlyToBeHappyAbout...
GET OUT OF MY COMMENT SECTION, PSYCHOPATH!
Makoto: Antisocial,I'mJustAntiSocialANDaPsychopath.
What?
GuestStar: Me too! The team is so fun to write about! Their socialization is fun for me, I guess! And, I tried to put Neji in this, I really did! But all I could do was just mention him. Maybe soon, Gueststar... Maybe soon...
Umeko: My most loyal Gueststar, no question for me? Not even a, "Hey your awesome, and you totally do not look like a lesbian like your mother and sister says!" Nothing? That hurts...
ToughChick: I think Makoto is my number two also, or number one... I don't know...
Makoto: ThankYou, ThatIsVeryKind... ThankfullySomeOneWho'sNotTotallyATotalIgnoramusCanHearMeAndMyComments...
This is Umeko, SO LISTEN UP!
I have an announcement. This story has...
Gotten...
90 reviews in 13 chapters!
This is amazing, though I know the Author didn't do anything to help, I'm glad you all love me so much and you all reviewed for me.
So, keep on doing what your doing!
She means thank you for all the reviews of support and niceness! Thankfully the flamers haven't arrived yet...
*hides behind Makoto*
I hope I didn't jinx it!
Anyway, ThankYouAll. AndPleaseCheckOutBakaChan'sProfileForLinkstoArtSoYouCanSeeWhatWeLookLikeAndStuff...
So, if there are any Sherlockians out there... Favorite villain?
And for those who haven't seen Sherlock, who's ready for a new rival! Because it wouldn't be a BakaChan story without a bitter, OC rival!
Hey, mass-defect! Almost 4,000 words! How long did it take you, friend? XD