Penelope's farm was a haven. It was also a kind of self-imposed isolation that only her cats and horses could break. Away from all the drama in her family, and only getting occasional updates from Derek or Emily about JJ's progress, Penelope poured herself into work. She took calls from clueless computer owners, who didn't know the make or model number of their computer, much less the specific nature of their technical issue. Penelope practiced the patience she didn't have as a teenager. She gave it freely to these strangers, because she could not face her own pseudo-brothers and sister in their hour of need.
JJ being where she was right now, was just plain sad, because it didn't have to happen. If she had just stopped for two seconds and thought about something other than herself, maybe she wouldn't be where she was now. On the surface, there was that. If she dug deeper, Penelope knew that had Emily not come into her life when she had, Penelope might very well be living JJ's circumstances. That's exactly what Penelope didn't get, though. JJ had Emily. She had eight years away from her former life, to transform herself into any kind of person she wanted. Instead of really going for it, JJ had just kind of slowly self-destructed. She'd been like a stick of dynamite, with a slow burning fuse. No one really knew it was happening, until it was too late. They couldn't uncrash her car, or bring Carolyn back. Penelope knew that Carolyn's suicide was the most likely candidate for what pushed JJ to the edge that night. But there were also a million other little things that were in motion before that day in late October. Penelope knew it more than most. Maybe that was why she stayed away. Not because JJ drove drunk, and Penelope lost her parents to a drunk driver, but something deeper.
She couldn't face the ripples her own inaction caused. She couldn't face the guilt.
There had been the calls. All the times JJ asked for money, and the time she applied for a loan and listed Penelope as a co-signer. Months later, Penelope was still paying off the debt she doesn't owe and never told Emily about because JJ begged her. There was the boyfriend. Stan. Who Penelope absolutely could not stand. And that was saying a lot, because Penelope loved everybody. Stan hurt JJ and JJ was so in love she was oblivious that what he was doing to her was ten kinds of wrong. Because of JJ's age, there was nothing Penelope could do, unless JJ decided to press charges, which, of course, she never did. It made Penelope sick.
Still, no matter how many times she tried to convince JJ to go to Emily with her financial struggles, or to talk about her skeevy boyfriend, JJ stubbornly refused. And Penelope - God, forgive her - had let it go. Now, everything was different.
Better to close herself off from everyone, than risk making the same mistakes again.
Derek had gotten so that he practically knew everybody who had even a passing familiarity with JJ at her DC rehabilitation facility. Spencer and their mom were spending every night in the Ronald McDonald house, to be near JJ. Derek stayed there most nights, too, because he had nowhere else to be.
In the morning, while Spencer stayed back to do some schoolwork, and their mom stayed to be sure it got done, Derek headed over to the rehab facility to visit JJ. He was unprepared for the beauty that waited for him in the elevator. He guessed she wasn't exactly waiting for him, but she was there, and he was there, so why play semantics?
"Haven't seen you around," he said, eyeing her with equal parts suspicion and interest. She wasn't dressed as any kind of staff member, so Derek deduced she was here to visit, as he was. "You got family here?" he asked.
"Not exactly," she said easily. "Just a friend I sort of owe a debt to. That's not the reason I'm here…" she qualified quickly. "It's just the reason I left school on a Friday to come out here instead of going to class."
"So, you're a good friend," Derek smiled.
"I was gonna say 'bad student,' but I like your answer better." She returned his smile and it lit up her entire face. She paused briefly. "It feels a little odd flirting in a place like this," she admitted, glancing down and tucking her hair behind her ear.
"Oh, my sister wouldn't care. In fact, she's probably glad I'm out of her hair," Derek laughed easily.
"Your sister's here? I'm so sorry. What's her name?" the mystery girl asked. "I'll keep her in my prayers. Send her encouraging thoughts. Whatever you're comfortable with."
Derek came to a stop outside JJ's door. "This is my stop. Sorry," he said, not sorry at all that he'd avoided the uncomfortable subject of prayer.
The nameless girl squinted at the number beside the door, and the one on the scrap of paper in her hand. "Mine, too," she said, a little breathless. "What did you say your name was?"
"Derek. I'm JJ's brother. Who are you?" he asked, not caring that the flirtation and politeness had dropped off him like an ill-fitting coat.
"So, you're Derek. I pictured you differently," she mused, tilting her head. She shook her head, as if to clear it. "I'm so sorry. I'm Jordan Todd. JJ's roommate at Pitt. Nice to meet you." Jordan extended a hand and waited.
Derek's face relaxed into a smile. "Sorry. Protective older brother. It's instinct. Nice to meet you, too," he said, and meant it. "Wait here."
He tapped on the door, opened it and then doubled back to the desk, to ask about JJ's location. Just then, he spotted JJ being wheeled back to her room and intercepted her chair.
She was pale. Her hair was just starting to grow back around the massive scars on her head. JJ wore sweats like she would on a lazy day around the house. She squinted a lot because the part of her brain that controlled visual perception was damaged and she couldn't always interpret what was around her. It made everyday tasks huge, and scary. It made JJ panic, when she was unsure of where exactly she was and who was around her. Derek knew she coped well because of her ability to identify voices, but sometimes even that was difficult. He was getting used to the two steps forward, one step back routine that brain injuries were. One day, JJ would be doing fantastic and the next? She was moody and irritable, depressed and withdrawn. It hadn't taken her long to lose her newfound fondness for him, that was for sure. Now, it was more like before than ever, with JJ blowing him off, in favor of other people. Mainly, their mom and Spencer.
"Where's Mom?" JJ asked irritably.
"She's back with Spencer making sure he does his schoolwork," Derek answered easily. He parked the chair and helped her back into bed. For the first time, JJ seemed to notice Derek wasn't alone.
"Who's that." It was a statement, not a question
Derek didn't miss the flash of hurt in Jordan's eyes. He'd forgotten to warn her that JJ's memory for people could be spotty. Probably because she'd been making steady progress in the few weeks since she really woke up from the coma. She could hold a pencil, write her name, and walk with help. But her memory was full of holes. She was unable to recognize about half the letters in the alphabet. Counting money was now a foreign concept to her.
He was snapped out of his thoughts when JJ spoke again, brashly, and like she clearly disapproved. "Is she your sex?"
Derek nearly choked. He knew what she meant, but God, it wasn't like he discussed his love life with his family. They all treaded pretty carefully on topics of romance and relationships with him, because of his past, but all that didn't matter to JJ. It wasn't that she didn't care. More like she couldn't.
He cleared his throat. "No," he managed. "No, she's just a friend. She came to say hi. JJ, this is Jordan," he introduced as if they were new acquaintances instead of longtime roommates.
"Hey, JJ it's nice to meet you," Jordan greeted, in an admirably steady tone of voice.
"Fine," JJ answered, turning away. "I'm tired."
"All right. We'll let you rest." Derek said, squeezing her hand.
JJ flinched away from him and Derek stepped back. He tended to forget that now, JJ didn't always see him coming, and he could catch her by surprise more often than not.
"You okay?" he pressed gently.
"My fault…" she murmured, her eyes falling closed.
"What's your fault?" Derek asked.
"Everything…is my fault. Don't lie…It is. Isn't it…" she sighed.
"So, you know how you were afraid that JJ would have an intense reaction to finding out about Janet?" Spencer asked casually, while focused intently on the assigned reading on the screen of his laptop. "She didn't."
Emily was about to reprimand him. To remind him to focus. Then, what he said clicked inside her head. "You told JJ about Janet? After I specifically asked you to let me handle it?"
"She asked me," he shrugged. "She even called it the secret. She wanted me to tell her the secret about Janet because you wouldn't. She was fine with it, though. Not even upset."
"Spencer, I'm the parent, remember?" Emily sighed, trying to keep her temper.
"I have an eidetic memory," he responded, clearly distracted by whatever he was reading. "Besides, JJ's an adult. She can make her own choices," he said in a maddeningly self-assured tone that bordered on arrogance.
"Stop reading and look at me," Emily insisted, in a no-nonsense manner. When he met her eyes, she continued. "JJ has a head injury. She's not in a position to judge what she is ready to hear. Besides which, her reaction is something that her doctors want to be aware of. It's a benchmark in measuring her progress, how she reacts to distressing news."
"Well, I didn't know that." Spencer said, looking out the window. "Mom, what's the point of all this? I have to study."
Emily tried to breathe. She reminded herself that despite his genius intelligence, he was still just twelve. Derek at twelve had been haunting. JJ at near the same age had been entitled and rebellious, and Aaron, a quiet mystery. Spencer was somehow, a combination of all of his siblings. She remembered the high standard she had set for Derek when he first moved in, and how unfair it had been.
Still, Emily knew, it was just as big of disservice to set the bar too low as far as expected behavior. Just because they were in the middle of a family issue didn't mean the basics went out the window.
"The point is that you are going to start respecting the people in this family. I am your mother and I know what's best for you. When I ask you to do something, I expect you to listen to me. What you told JJ could have really set her back." Emily paused briefly, and thought. "I want an essay from you on the importance of rules and authority figures in society. Five to seven pages, typed and double spaced. Your own words. Due by eight o'clock tonight, because I'm not staying up until past midnight to receive it and then not have time to go over it with you."
Spencer's mouth dropped open.
Emily knew what he was thinking. It was already six-thirty. He didn't have time. But she simply nodded at him to get to work.
At dusk, a knock sounded at Penelope's front door. Cali meowed, annoyed at the unexpected intrusion, but Penelope did her best to act naturally. Never mind that no one came to visit out here. Ever. It was what she loved about the place. Still, she walked to the door and pulled it open, completely unprepared for the sight that met her eyes.
Aaron, stood on her porch, his face a mess of bruises.
A/N: 12wallflower, you win the prize! (Which is not a prize as much as it is my happiness that you are so invested in this story that you made the right guess as to where Aaron would go.) Yay for you! Thanks to all of you who sent in guesses, and even those of you who didn't guess or review, and are just along for the ride. I appreciate each and every one of you! Thoughts on Penelope's isolation? Derek and Jordan? JJ? Emily's additional homework assignment for Spencer? Aaron showing up where he did? Feel free to comment about any of this and more! I make notes about things you guys mention, especially if it's some area I've overlooked that needs attention! So share your thoughts with me! I love reading them!