My computer's kind of really kaput. So this explains the slow updates. And now I have my student exams. OH MY GOD IM GOING TO FAIL THEM ALL !
I don't think this chapter would clear up things to people. Hehe..
Okay, answering time now.
enchantedlight: You reviewed, therefore I can update.
TheWolfInTheShadows: Odd? Tell me about it! I love my Lucius! He's so freakishly nice. Why Hermione trie to kill herself? Read between the lines, she didn't want to die, she wanted to provoke a reaction.
Artemis. Oh, Moon Power! That's good! very good!
Sarmoti: Oh, thank you for your reviews and comments. My story kind of lost of its funniness along the way. I'm sorry about that.
Sad: There's nothing wrong with my rating. It isn't offensive nor contains strong violence or sex. And you gave me a strike of inspiration.
Random person you don't know: Ok, so you're not a Kompassi chick... That's too bad because they're the elite of prettiness in the metro stations. Ok, so are you the baby swastika on the wall? Whose been nailed there although you cannot be more than 4 years old?
whogirl: Oh lá lá! You like how this is shaping up? Thank you! i hope you like the evolution of things.
hotskittles: Oh, I´m transmitting joy! You have no idea about how glad it makes me. Don't force a tampon inside of you if it hurts. Just use pads. Better comfy than in pain.
JerseySaint19: Well, I do thank thee. How you like this one?
Alandrea-the-magical-kitty: Kitty, kitty, kitty, you're so pretty pretty pretty, Kitty kitty kitty I love you... I'm very proud with my answer to Caley. I guess I'm going to have a special causerie chappie at some point. Oho... And you'll find out who's this Max soon. And as for the gig, trust me, I'll have fun.
prin69: I nod frantically with you. New chapter! You find out more! Joy!
Midnight Lilly: All in good time, all in good time...
CareBearErin: Merci! Merci de tout mon coeur! Yes, she was faking it... and Max has a double secret, I cannot tell you. I can just give you a hint: a name can have several owners.
supafly09: So, finish the story yet? How was church?
Pipeline : Thank you for your input…It's really nice of you to review. Got any ideas to improve this fic?
Sorry – this scene kind of keeps on going… No worries, dark subplot delivered here. Poorly and messily written; hope you get the idea anyways.
Wait – is there an idea in this chapter? Oh yeah- subplot.
You can obviously see I wrote this chapter in two separate parts that I put into one chapter.
My Dirty Little Secret.
That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful. Lucius scoffed at the thought of this. Beauty had a certain light, aura even, but it wasn't always because it was good. No, evil things had as much as an aura as the good ones.
As soon as he was in the dungeon, he stripped her off from her thin robe, leaving her panties on. He grabbed a towel and stared frictioning her body fiercely, bringing back the blood circulation.
As he was pouncing her cold flesh with a towel, she, or rather the cold, woke up a distant feeling in him. Her flesh was cold as Maid Mary's had been, like Narcissa's. She was exactly like his past sexual partners. Her cold skin, her white face, her dark hair, all came to a perfect combination. Lucius felt as if a deep, perverse, long hidden fantasy rose up again. For the first time he felt real lust towards her. It was as is he wanted her body to pounce on her in order to make her warm.
He had had carnal, even pornographic clips of Hermione running in his mind. But it was different. We all have sick, perverse, immoral sexual fantasies, wrong disturbing pictures our mind creates and often censor. But they are exactly that: fantasies. Things that would quite surely never happen, because it was too different, too wrong.
But Hermione, cold as she was, connected now with Lucius's earlier sexual habits. His fantasies came to a reality he could seize if he wanted too. This horrible and enticing revelation was so immense, he had stopped rubbing her skin. For him to have sex with her would be almost… almost normal.
"- Why haven't I ever seen you naked, Lucius?"
Lucius was shocked; no, no he was more surprised. The thought had never really occurred to him. Your body is something very subjective; after a while, you get so used to it, you cannot say whether it's beautiful or not. Lucius could pass days without watching himself in a mirror.
It was odd how Hermione seemed to read his mind. In order to have sex, you are supposed to be naked. Hermione had felt his desires and promptly wanted to humiliate him, point out to him how ridiculous his body was. Her simple, understandable request was going to be a sacrifice to Lucius and Hermione knew it well.
Suddenly he felt how she reigned over his life, controlling his days through her dependence. He gave her all his time and attention, his treasures and now, he was about to give her his body as well. The only thing that still could have been his only. As soon as her eyes would see him naked, his body would be hers.
"- Would you … like that?"
Hermione nodded.
Lucius didn't know whether take his cloths of slowly or quickly, so he just took of his cloths as he usually did, trying to look everywhere but at Hermione. He took off his shoes, his sock and his long johnsons before stopping, hesitating.
So this was how Hermione felt; humiliated at the thought of his reaction towards her body. Suddenly, Lucius felt very shy and wondered if Hermione found him attractive. As he finally watched her, she was watching him with those eyes again. The same eyes of the cruel loved fuelled child that was inside her.
He finally dropped of his robe, leaving him naked and vulnerable.
Hermione's eyes were dark now, dark and beautiful. Her hair seemed like her, bending forwards to have a better look. She sat up slowly, tucking her calves neatly under her derriere.
Lucius's body was very strange. It was long, thin, with childish features extended all over it, creating an odd notion of infinity. The chest was perfectly lean, with no visible muscles nor fat. His teats pointed out like two small buds on his chest and a very thin, almost unnoticeable fluff was strewn across the abdominals. The skin wasn't shiny; it was soft and glowing with warmth. His penis rested gently between his legs, in a nest of white fur, seemingly innocent. His legs weren't really hairy; there where there was hair, it was so pale and fine you almost didn't notice it.
She extended her arms and Lucius stepped nearer. Her hands slowly passed on his boyish body.
"- Max."
Hermione couldn't believe what she saw. It was as if her childhood dream, her goal was in front of her. There was a hybrid of a boy-man in front of her. It looked like Lucius's body had passed directly from childhood to adulthood, never passing by puberty. His shoulders weren't broad, his legs weren't thick, his body wasn't covered in hair. No, he was perfectly lean and white, having white hair and almost transparent eyes. He wasn't human. Lucius had taken the place of a divinity in Hermione's mind.
Lucius shuddered as he heard the name. This Max couldn't have had a better name: he was taking a MAXimal of space between them.
He had done some very serious research about Hermione, and found some information that could be said to be more than a bit alarming. Lucius had skipped the years of Hermione's presence in the wizarding world; he knew everything about her already. Instead, he started to root in her past.
This Max she talked about was surely a friend of hers that had died in more than just mysterious occurrences. The boy had been ten year old when found dead by his mother in their backyard, obviously strangled by something.
Lucius had seen pictures of the boy and had been very shocked about the boy's body and complexion: he looked perfect. But his body was odd, too tall for being a child, yet not in puberty yet. The boy's eyes were big, so big and a mess of brown and green, not particulary uncommon, but very becoming on him. His hair was blond and soft, shining on each picture of him.
The boy had been in her school and her neighbour. There was more than one picture with both children on them, smiling and playing tag with each other. Hermione's beauty is strange and astounding on the pictures: she looks like an overgrow cherub. Both children did, in fact.
Lucius hadn't put much time in searching extensive information about this Max, but he still knew he had been murdered aged 10. It had been a little shocking thing to read in a life of a girl who seemed normal enough. But then, Lucius had seen Hermione in his mind's eye and smiled. No- she wasn't normal. She had never been normal.
It's a well known fact that girls, especially young ones, aren't normal. They aren't one person; they are fractioned in many pieces. The proof for this was their body: they couldn't control it.
Menstruation was a perfect example of the girl's abnormality. It was a phenomenon that occurred once a month; girls nor women could affect this thing. They could maybe stop the flow a couple of days mentally, but they were bound to menstruate sooner or later. The only time they could control their body was when they were pregnant.
Therefore, Lucius came to a conclusion: women don't have genitalia between their legs: they have some kind of animal down there, a monster with a big mouth that makes itself known to the world through spitting out blood.
That thing between their legs hid itself but was very powerful if needed. The thing in question could bleed once a month and it was normal – something wasn't quite right here. The only thing that could calm down the whole monster was a pregnancy.
Suddenly, whilst Hermione still dissecting his body with her eyes, he understood what a pregnancy was. It wasn't a life being formed; it was a way to tame that thing; for women to be normal for some time.
Suddenly Lucius felt very sick in his stomach. He just had the brief image of a pregnant Hermione in his mind. A pregnant girl giving birth to another thing like her. A baby girl that would form the same monster between her legs and give then birth to another girl, who will give another child, and that child would mate and give another one. The thoughts circled in his mind were so sick Lucius trembled and tried to stop his mind from working.
Of course Lucius had had pornographic thoughts about Hermione; any man encountering somewhat attractive women had them. Boys didn't need more than a paper picture of a naked woman to be able to have an erection. During the Middle-Age, the painted pictures of Jesus on Virgin Mary's naked teat were considered pornographic; no reason to think otherwise when you saw statues or painting of other naked people.
Lucius would have told straight out that he masturbated thinking of naked women in statues if someone would have asked him. It was less dirty than admire paper people; statues were real, in 3D, with long curves and perfect faces.
Hermione was a statue, only a living one. Therefore, Lucius had pleasured himself whilst thinking of her, but the mere thought of, well, do it with her was ridiculous. It was as if he had tried to penetrate a statue or something like that. Totally ludicrous.
But now, with the realization of what Hermione really had between his legs, his thoughts became more real than ever. But instead of being arousing, they were terrible. Having sex with Hermione would be a sacrilege. It would be improper and dirty.
Suddenly Hermione's heritage came to his mind again: Mudblood. For a pure-blood like him to mate with her kind could be perceived as zoophilia in the Wizarding Society. It was a paradox really: Lucius was the one who felt dirty, not Hermione.
The girl was on the bed, sitting there in peace with herself, observing him with her eyes, eyes gleaming. She knew all the secrets of her gender; little girls were women in disguise.
The transition from girl to woman had to be done through puberty. You couldn't call it an evolution. Didn't you call teenage girls 'young girl' and infants 'girl'? It was clear that small girls, children, were women and women were children. Puberty was the real burden for young girls. They were in between.
Girls were like lobsters: as children, they had a shield, as women they had a shield, but in between, during puberty, they didn't have one. The shield of childhood was too small and of adulthood was too big; they had to survive without protection. The same thing occurred to lobsters: they had shields and as they were 'teenagers' (between child-adulthood) they didn't have a shield. They were ugly, grey things that didn't have a proper form to speak of.
Just some rare girls escaped from this Hermione were obviously one of the lucky ones; her adult shield had been created as a child. It had taken her five years to activate her shield, but it was much more efficient than the shields of those surrounding her.
Lucius's mind was buzzling so much his head was heavy and he shakily sat down next to Hermione. The girl watched him with head on her right shoulder, hair dripping cold water on her breasts and stomach.
It was so quiet they heard the wind blowing outside and the cold snowflakes hitting on glass. Lucius felt suddenly very tired and shook his head. Hermione tentatively touched his shoulder with her hand, maybe trying to give him comfort or maybe touching him.
Lucius noticed that this was the first time she touched him. He had always carried her around and given her everything without her needing even to ask for it. The only time they touched was when he carried her around and when he massaged her feet. The rest of the time, they didn't have any physical contact.
The touch was welcomed. Lucius lowered her to the bed, carefully laying down next to her, pressing his head against her cold chest. He heard her heartbeat and slightly pulled her closer to him.
Lucius didn't want to understand anything anymore. For now, he wanted to hold Hermione against her and feel the cold flesh against his. She was less scary this way. She was like Maid Mary and like Narcissa, cold and passive and dead. It was odd how the thought of a cadaver could make Lucius calm and relax.
Maybe he should have let Hermione die. It wouldn't have been cruel; she searched for it herself.