Disclaimer: See First Chapter

"Let me through! I knew him before he had that gash on his face!"

Beside Harry, Lupin smiled to himself and muttered, "There you are, Harry. You have finally experienced a true Black display of affection; ridiculously ill-timed and embarrassingly inappropriate."

Harry grinned and Sirius chose to ignore this remark. He wasn't entirely sure what the right 'last night of the holidays, see you in four months' gesture was. He settled for laying his hands on Harry's shoulders and smiling down at him.

"Have a good term, yeah?"

Lupin, who had somewhat taken on the role of nurturer, raised his eyebrows. "And stay out of trouble."

Harry nodded. "I'll try." He stifled a yawn and frowned in what appeared to be pain.

"Perhaps you'd better go to bed," suggested Lupin. "You've got to be up early in the morning anyway. Write a list. Make sure you haven't left anything."

Harry nodded and traipsed to his shared room. All three of them knew he had absolutely no intention of sleeping or packing. He was off to beat himself up over Mrs. Weasley's Boggart.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Remus, you're the mother he never had."

Lupin raised an eyebrow. "Which makes you what? The rabid family dog he never had the pleasure of being bitten by?"

Sirius elbowed him. "Speaking of which, I thought I might see him off tomorrow."

"Oh yes, good plan. Stroll into King's Cross, maybe get a cup of tea at the machine…"

Sirius smiled sarcastically. "You know I can't work those things. Maybe I should ask your mum for lessons. Besides, your sarcasm is wasted on me."

Lupin evidently didn't think so. "Sirius, it's been fourteen years. My mother no longer looks like Gina Lollobrigida. You're going to need a new comeback."

Sirius grinned. "I bet she's still gorgeous. Even if she's not, I bet she still makes great sausage rolls." He winked. "Fancy a nightcap?"

Lupin politely declined on the basis that he was incredibly busy.

"Meaning you're about to head up to your attic lair and make love to my cousin who I should be protecting from your womanising ways."

Lupin scoffed. "Womanising ways? What planet are you on?"

"I notice you're not denying it."

"No, because I don't have to justify myself to you."

Sirius laughed. "You do while your fornicating in my house, mate."

Lupin rolled his eyes. "I am not fornicating anywhere."

"No, not right this minute, but you will be." Sirius smirked. "Go on, go and enjoy yourself. Forget me; I'll be downstairs missing everyone. Go on, quick before I change my mind."

Lupin sighed. "I'll Irish up some coffee."

"Yes, Moony. That's just what we need, coffee before bed. We'll be up all bloody night."

He couldn't resist the opportunity. Lupin grinned and winked.

It was already far too quiet without the horde of teenagers rampaging through the house, screaming at each other and in the case of the twins, blowing things up. Kreacher kept sniffing things as if at any moment the sea of raging hormones would flock toward his nostrils. He was convinced that it had merely ebbed.

"My poor, poor Mistress…"

"Oh Kreacher, do be quiet," snapped Sirius. "This is God awful enough without you harping on about blood."

"Who's harping on about blood?"

Sirius glanced up and immediately wished he hadn't. The house was practically empty these days. Snape's sudden visits on the insistence of Dumbledore, Molly's occasional cleaning sessions and Tonks' sleepovers were the only reasons people ever came to visit. Not that that was a bad thing, after all no news was good news.

"It's nothing," Sirius assured the toast, unable to meet Tonks' eyes. He cleared his throat. "Kreacher's just…well, being Kreacher."

Tonks nodded sympathetically. "Mind if I grab some toast? I'm starving."

Sirius stopped himself from adding, 'I bet you are' just in time. "Go ahead." He stood. "Well, I must be getting off…I mean, getting up…" He rubbed his temples. "I'll leave you to it. Have a nice day."

Tonks scoffed. "Yeah right. You have no idea how much paperwork is waiting for me."

Judging by Sirius' start and subsequent slamming of the door, Tonks assumed she was about to be joined by Remus who was almost as confused as she was.

"What have you said to him?"

Tonks looked affronted. "I didn't say bugger all to him. He barely even spoke to me. Look, I have to go or I'll be late but I'll see you tonight, okay?" She leant up to kiss his cheek and took a bite out of her toast before turning on the spot and Disapparating.

Lupin was still getting used to her odd little quirks. How could she eat and Apparate? He would be violently sick if he ever dared to try it, he was sure of it. Her working in such a dangerous profession while he tidied up after Sirius and waited for orders from Dumbledore was also making him feel inadequate and frankly, a pansy among pansies.

"Has she gone?"

Lupin jumped. "Yeah, what the hell's going on?"

There was a pregnant pause in which it was obvious that Sirius was struggling to find the words.

"I'll be in the drawing room. Meet you there." The door closed and opened once more. "Bring Whiskey. We'll need it."

"Whiskey?" Lupin repeated. "Sirius, it's half past seven in the morning!"

"REMUS!"

"Alright, alright," snapped Lupin. "I'm coming."

The door was flung open. "What? Again? Forget it, I'll come down."

Lupin had cottoned on and downed a goblet of Firewhiskey. Alright, so he felt sick but he was fairly sure that had nothing to do with the alcohol. "Oh fuck," he murmured.

"Don't ever say those words again," Sirius warned him. "I don't think I'll be able to hear them in the normal tone of voice from you for as long as I live."

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Yes, I know how you feel. I spent most of last night thinking the same thing. Two words, Remus: 'Silencing' and 'Charm'."

Lupin nodded, stared at the table and muttered, "Technically, that's three."

"On the plus side, Moons, it finally happened."

"And it was a mistake."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Look, what's a dip into the realms of voyeurism between friends? Stop beating yourself up about it. It's the closest I'll probably ever get to sex again so I might as well enjoy it."

Lupin seemed alarmed by this sudden outburst. He shook his head and reached for more whiskey. "You know, yesterday night it just seemed like the right thing to do and now that I've actually thought about it, I want to break my own nose."

"Christ, Remus. She's not that bad looking."

Lupin glared at him. "You know what I'm talking about."

"Listen, it's not as if you've proposed to her. It's just sex, Remus. It happens all the time."

Lupin scoffed. "For you, maybe."

"Remus, you're talking to the man who has had to resort to being taken for a walk so he can hump legs. Sex is something other people have."

"Sirius, you really do make me sick."

Sirius shrugged. "It means nothing, Moon. I've started to take it as a term of endearment. My mother, bless her, used to practically fly down the stairs screaming 'Sirius Black, you make me physically sick'. I'm used to it."

Lupin forced a smile. He was going to have to do something about this. He couldn't take her to bed and suddenly tell her that he thought their relationship was a bad idea. There was nothing for it; she was going to have to break up with him.

"Sirius?"

"Yeah?"

"I need you to turn me into a total bastard."