Family Matters

XX

Although Shego had mainly tagged along to the therapy session for yucks, she found herself fascinated by Drakken's tale of his past. For all the time she had spent working for the man, she was starting to realize she really didn't know all that much about him. Who would have thought he was ever such good friends with James Possible, for instance? And she didn't know his dad was a cop, either. She had been listening intently to his story, but Drakken abruptly trailed off as the rest of the group listened.

"And then what?" asked Doctor Liz. "You and your father bonded when it came to your interests in tinkering?"

Drakken looked indignant. "Tinkering? It's much more than that, doctor. But yes, we did bond."

"It was the first time your father had expressed interest in what you were doing?"

"Yes. Although perhaps he just wanted to spend some time with me, after I had been in college for so long, blazing my own trail in life. And he didn't really say it out loud very often, but it was obvious that he wasn't satisfied with his own job, which was part of it, I think."

Doctor Liz scribbled on her clipboard. "So why do you think this has caused problems with your stepfather? Do you think Hans is trying to replace your biological father?"

Drakken did not respond.

"Perhaps you're having trouble letting go of the past. You know that you can accept Hans as a part of your life without having him replace Ken. No one is asking you to replace your memories, after all."

Drakken did not seem to be listening. He had been on the verge of opening up, but as he sat in the little circle in the middle of the office, his chattiness had gone away quickly, replaced by a sour expression and a stony silence. It was like something bothered him about his memories of when his real father finally began to open up to him.

"You know, Drew, your mother had to talk about what happened with her husband in order to move on," said Doctor Liz. "I think you might be facing some of the same things she had to face. Maybe we should talk about what happened to your father, and how you feel about it."

It occurred to Shego that Doctor Liz, knowing Claudia as a friend and having had her as a patient in the past, must know even more than she did about Drakken's mysterious past, having gotten it from his mother.

"Maybe we shouldn't," snapped Drakken.

"It's up to you," said Doctor Liz. "But I think this is the crux of your problem. Your father's death is-"

Before anyone knew what was happening, Drakken got up from the little circle and walked calmly towards the door. The therapist sat in confusion as he left the office, nodded to the receptionist in the lobby area, and disappeared around the corner. Shego had to admit she didn't see that coming – was it some kind of breakdown? Just another example of her boss's bizarre behavior? She was leaning towards the former; something about the way the conversation had been going had majorly rubbed Drakken the wrong way.

She would have been less surprised by an overly dramatic tirade against Dementor, or maybe a flat out refusal to talk, but just walking out? To her, that seemed way more concerning.

"Why did he leave?" asked Claudia. "We were making such good progress!"

Eddie nodded in agreement. "Yeah, that was a pretty cool story with the rat robot. Seriously!"

"Let me go talk to him," said Doctor Liz. "I think he didn't know how to verbalize his-"

Shego got up along with the therapist, holding out a hand to stop the woman before she reached the door. From the look of things, Drakken wasn't going to be interested in talking to the therapist anymore – Shego knew he probably had a dim view of therapists, anyway. Too soft-sciencey. "Um, I think it might be better if I went to talk to him," she said. "If Doctor D's gonna listen to anybody, it'll be me."

"Very well."

Shego left the office and picked up her pace as she went through the lobby and out of the building. She stepped out onto a sidewalk lining the road in front of the building and looked around for a moment until she caught sight of her boss. Doctor D had already gained a lot of distance. She ran down the sidewalk towards him, hoping he wasn't just going to start running away.

"Hey, Doctor D!"

Drakken looked back. Sure enough, once he caught sight of her, he began to run.

"Come on, hold up a second! Let's just talk!"

"I don't want to talk, Shego!"

"Look, you don't have to talk about your dad right now, but running from your problems isn't going to solve them!"

Drakken hadn't been paying attention to the sidewalk in front him, and ended up smacking into a pedestrian coming from the opposite direction, almost losing his balance but managing to keep on his feet. The woman fell over, dropping groceries on the curb, and Drakken made as if to stoop down and help her pick them up for a moment until he thought better of it and careened through them, picking up the pace again. The woman shook her fist from the sidewalk as Drakken, and then Shego, passed by her.

"I'm not trying to run from my problems, Shego! Just from you!"

How reassuring, thought Shego with a roll of her eyes. At least Doctor D didn't see her as a problem.

She kept up her pursuit, and while she knew it would be easy to overtake him, she began to slow down as she wondered why she was even bothering. Drakken had just wised up a little and darted off into a side alley, anyway, which would make it a little harder to keep track of him. The man obviously wanted some alone time, and tackling him in the middle of a busy Middleton street was probably not the best way to defuse the situation.

Shego came to a halt, looking back at the Share & Care Family Therapy building just as Dementor, Claudia and Eddie Lipsky came out of the front entrance. The two Lipskies looked down the street, their expressions worried and questioning. Even Dementor, she noticed, looked very concerned. She was convinced now; the man actually did have some bizarre affection for his Doctor D. Shego shrugged in response to their unspoken question. Knowing Drakken, he'd show up back at the cottage in a few hours, most likely acting like nothing had even happened.

And yet somehow, it seemed like this went a little deeper than his usual petty drama.

XX

That had been a uncomfortable car ride.

For the first time Shego could remember since she met the woman, Claudia Lipsky had been quiet for more than a minute at a time. She had barely said a word for the whole car ride, actually. Dementor was also quiet, which again – considering the little man's big volume – was quite a feat. Only Eddie was left to talk, and while Shego found him as irritating as usual, at least it seemed like he had been toning down the awkward greaser flirting after the night at the Lowerton karaoke dive. It was like Eddie was finally getting a clue, finally realizing that, no, he had no chance with her. Still, all in all, an awkward ride home.

The car took a turn past the outskirts of Lowerton and headed up the gravel drive which snaked between walls of trees until it reached the clearing that held their secluded cottage. Everyone else piled out to go inside – although Shego had an urge to plop down on the couch and watch some television after that surprisingly unfunny family therapy session, she couldn't help noticing Claudia looking listless as the woman sat at the kitchen table. Drakken was definitely putting his mom through the ringer by running off with no explanation like that.

Dementor had only just entered the cottage when he made a beeline through the hallway that connected the kitchen and living room, on his way to the elevators. Shego noticed him heading off. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"Down to de radio station," he said. "I must fetch something, and den go to work."

"Work?" asked Claudia. "You're not staying, sweetie? It's Sunday!"

"I am afraid I haf much to do. Many important tings are happening tomorrow."

Shego sat on the couch and turned on the TV as Dementor went off to the lair below the cottage. Although she was flipping channels, she wasn't really paying attention to them. More important things were on her mind. From the sound of it, Dementor would be launching his plan – whatever it was – pretty soon. Without Drakken around, she wondered what that meant. It didn't seem likely the two of them would be working together now, even though she personally thought that would have been the best option for both of them – and if Dementor took over the world, that would be like Drakken's family problems on steroids.

She began to wonder if she needed to throw a wrench in his schemes, even without her boss around. Or did Drakken want to let his stepfather get everything in motion before grabbing the reins of power at the last moment? Hard to say. She couldn't really ask Doctor D what the plan was, seeing as the man was currently wandering the streets of Middleton, as far as she knew.

"Hey, Green," said Eddie, dropping onto the couch like a sack of potatoes and snaking a beefy arm around the back. Shego would have sent a fiery burst of plasma sailing straight into his face, but it didn't like an attempt to cop a feel or anything – he was just totally oblivious to what he was doing. The other hand grabbed the remote from where Shego placed it on the coffee table and began to flip channels, ignoring the one she had specifically settled on after flipping. "That therapy session was kind of a drag - am I right, or am I right?"

Shego ignored him and left the couch to go into the kitchen. Claudia was sitting at the table, looking like she had a lot on her mind. She couldn't help feeling sorry for the woman. Sure, she drove Drakken up the wall, which in turn drove Shego up the wall, making her a secondary victim of Claudia Lipsky's stifling motherly instincts, but when it came right down to it, the woman seemed nice enough. And more perceptive than Shego had expected, considering that she knew her son's true nature. So Claudia probably knew Doctor D was having some serious problems. This whole daddy issue looked bigger than Shego would have guessed.

"Can you get me a piece of strudel, sweetie?"

Shego nodded and grabbed a couple of pieces from the leftover strudel on the cake pedestal on the kitchen counter; one for Drakken's mother, and one for herself. The awful smell permeated the air as she grabbed some silverware and sat down. Her nose would get used to it in a minute or two. Claudia poked at her pastry halfheartedly.

"I wouldn't worry," said Shego. "Doctor D always overreacts to stuff. He'll be back sooner or later."

"I hope so."

The two of them listened to the sound of tires screeching. For a minute, Shego thought someone was coming up the gravel drive, but no – it was coming from whatever show Eddie was watching in the living room. She took a bite of her strudel as she thought about Drakken's past – what he had said about it in therapy, anyway, which maybe was not the most reliable version of the past. But it was a version, at least. "Can I ask you a question?" she asked Claudia.

"Of course, Shego."

"What happened with Drakken's real dad? Ken, right?"

"That's right."

Claudia was silent as she took a bite of her pastry. Shego had to wait, but she could tell that the woman was organizing her thoughts. Finally, she spoke.

"Ken and my little Drewbie never did see eye to eye, you know. But that didn't mean they didn't love each other. They just had different ways of doing things, that's all. But when Drew came back from college after he got in trouble, things started to change. It took my Kennie a long time to open up, but I guess he wanted to meet his son halfway. Pretty soon, those two were in the garage day and night, let me tell you..."

XX

He was an exile, driven from house and home by his worst enemy. Save for Kim Possible, perhaps. He was a lost soul, wandering the lonely streets of – well, not so lonely streets, to be honest. Downtown Middleton was usually kind of busy. But he felt alone. Drakken walked aimlessly down the sidewalk, licking an ice cream bar he had bought from a convenience store earlier while he mulled over his options.

Getting up and leaving the therapy session without a word to anyone had probably not been the best choice. It was kind of embarrassing, to be honest, but he had simply been tired of talking about his father. What did some silly therapist named Doctor Liz know about his family situation, anyway? Drakken wasn't going to get any enlightenment or help solving his problems from some new-agey stranger in her candle-filled office. And as much as he knew his mother wanted to help him, he knew his mother wasn't going to solve his problems, either. She had been the cause of all his problems, after all, when she married his nemesis and brought the man into his home – at least, his latest in a long string of lair homes – to take everything over and order him around.

The more he thought about it, the more he knew there was only one solution.

Once Drakken reached the end of his ice cream bar, he threw the stick into a gutter on the side of the road. Somebody walking by gave him a dirty look, presumably for littering, but Drakken glared right back until the man backed down and kept walking. He was in no mood for judgmental people. The man was lucky he didn't have a Particle Disruption Cannon handy, otherwise the man have a lot more than littering to be upset about. He'd be worrying about a whole lot of disrupted particles, that's what. And once those particles got disrupted, there was no undisrupting them.

Drakken stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and took in his surroundings.

He knew Global Justice had an underground facility in Middleton. He had never actually been there, of course, but he had a vague idea that they used some kind of network of tunnels to move around. It was just a question of how to get in touch with them. GJ didn't exactly have a public phone line for interested callers or people wanting to set up a vacation tour, after all. Strange how he had been lying low in Lowerton for weeks, on the run from Global Justice ever since he had escaped from prison, but now that he actually wanted to find them, he wasn't even sure how. Maybe if he put out an ad in the-

Drakken's free fall through the hole in the sidewalk was so fast that he barely kept his ice cream bar from coming out the way it had come in. He dropped through a dim tube in the ground – down, down, as translucent plastic walls flashed by in a blur. At least he was getting some confirmation on his GJ tunnel transportation suspicions. He felt a strange buoyancy surrounding him as he slid every which way through the tube, which was twisting and turning beneath Middleton. Finally, he began to slow down, able to make out rocky shapes of the earth just beyond the tube's walls, until he reached a total stop, held up by some kind of antigravitational force.

His feet touched a metal floor. A door opened in front of him.

"Doctor Drakken," said Will Du, pointing some kind of pistol at Drakken's face. Probably an energy pistol, seeing as real weapons weren't Global Justice's style. "You're under arrest for violating the terms of your conviction and evading justice, subject to regulation 15, subsection 8 of the Global Justice-"

Will Du stopped as a hand was placed on his shoulder. He was surrounded by several other agents, all pointing weapons menacingly, but it was Dr. Director who emerged from behind him and looked over Drakken. "Save it for later, Agent Du," she said. "Doctor Drakken – welcome to Global Justice's Middleton branch."

"Erm, thank you?"

Dr. Director narrowed her one good eye. "Why were you walking around downtown Middleton for hours? Did it not occur to you that we've been looking for you, especially after Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable updated us on your collaboration with Frugal Lucre in his latest scheme?"

"Yes, it did."

"Then why were you so careless?"

Drakken smiled. Soon, his troubles would be over.

"I was looking for you."

XX

Normally, James didn't like working on weekends – that was the most reliable time to look forward to some time off with his family, after all – but today was an exception. He had been working harder than usual as the moon launch project deadline drew closer, and now that it was in sight, everyone at the Middleton Space Center was firing on all cylinders. For James, the extra work was as exciting as it was exhausting. They were getting the finishing touches ready today, and Monday would reveal whether or not their efforts had been worthwhile.

"Hi, Doctor Possible!" James nodded to Vivian as he entered the Space Center. "Looking forward to the launch on Monday?"

"Absolutely, Doctor Porter!"

Ignoring the sultry wink she sent his way, James passed through the lobby on his way to the offices. He had just turned into the hallway that led down to his own office and laboratory when he ran straight into Dieter, his intern. Fortunately, Dieter was short enough that his low center of gravity prevented him from flying across the floor. "Sorry about that," said James. "I didn't know you were scheduled today."

"Ah, yes, I thought I vould check in and see how tings are going."

"Good man. We look for that kind of dedication in our regular staff. I like your attitude, Dieter!"

"You are TOO KIND!"

James flinched at the random outburst. He was used to it, though.

Although he was about to join Dieter and head off towards the lab, he noticed the man had just come out of the door that led to the small courtyard where the rocket was set up, which was still ajar. He went ahead and closed the door. Dieter had probably wanted to look at the rocket one last time before they sent it on its maiden voyage out of earth's orbit tomorrow. James could relate – sometimes it was like the rockets were his adopted children, and he was sending them off on their own, waving goodbye as they burned gallons of his J2 rocket fuel in a white plume from their rear ends.

"I vas, um – I vas just giving it a last-minute look-over," said Dieter. "Dat is all."

James chuckled. Dieter was acting like he had been caught red-handed, for some reason. But it wasn't like he had done anything wrong. "You don't have to explain," he said. "I know how you feel."

"Vat?"

"The thing we've worked on for so long is about to be gone forever. I suppose you haven't been here very long, but it's even worse when you've built that rocket for months, let me tell you. But you get used to it."

"Hmm. Yes. Dat is exactly vat I vas talking about."

The two of them went into his office. James set down his briefcase and began to root around some papers on his desk, trying to organize things a little and make sure he didn't miss anything once he began looking over all the parameters and mission points one last time. When it came to his line of work, one mistake could blow millions of dollars' worth of equipment to smithereens. It paid to double check. Sometimes even triple check!

While his attention was absorbed in his paperwork for a long time, however, he couldn't help noticing that his assistant wasn't really doing all that much. James smiled – how silly of him. He had forgotten to give Dieter anything to do. Sometimes James knew he could be a bit of a control freak, and while Dieter was not quite ready to meddle in anything critical to the mission, the man was highly competent. More than twice as old as the usual intern, too, but something about his commanding personality must have gotten him through the vetting process. James could throw him a bone, especially since Dieter had been dedicated enough to come in when he wasn't even scheduled.

As he looked through his papers to find something for Dieter to do, however, he noticed the man wasn't just sitting lazily in his desk chair. It was more than that. Dieter definitely seemed like he was stuck in a blue mood. Probably more family troubles, James thought with a sympathetic shake of his head. He put his papers down and gave the man his full attention.

"Something wrong, Dieter?"

"Oh, just more of de family troubles."

When he was right, he was right.

"Want to talk about it?"

"It is de stepson again. He does not vant to accept me as his father. We vent to a family therapy session, but it vas a TOTAL CATASTROPHE!"

"Have you been giving him time to adjust, like I said?"

Dieter sighed. "I suppose not. It is de problems with his real father, too."

"Ah – doesn't want a second one?"

"Vell, his real father is passed away. But he does not vant to move on."

"What happened?"

"I do not know. Mine stepson vill not share, and my wife has not talked about it, either. I must admit, we got married very quickly. It vas a tornado of de hot, sweaty passions, if you know what I mean."

James grimaced. He got the general idea. "Why, do you regret the marriage? Marriages are all about communication, you know. Maybe part of the problem you're having with your stepson is that it was all so sudden – and if you're having problems with your wife, that's going to affect the whole family."

"No, it is not de wife. I am very much in love with her. But perhaps we have not been doing enough of de communicating. She holds back from me, and I hold back from her. Dere are things about me dat – vell, dat I am not sure she vould accept. I am not what you vould call de perfect husband."

"No one is," said James. "But if she loves you, she'll accept you for who you are, as long as the two of you are honest with each other. It's all about trust."

James knew he wasn't the perfect husband, either – or the perfect father. But he thought he did a pretty darn good job of both. Even better than he did at his actual job, and as much as he loved launching off those rocket ships, his family as his first responsibility, anyway. He was no expert, but he felt happy enough with his own life to try to lend a hand to Dieter. From the sound of it, the man had a lot of problems. Hearing about his family troubles only made James more thankful for how lucky he was to never have to worry about those things. The worst family problems he had to deal with were the twins occasionally blowing out the garage – half the time, he was involved in that anyway.

After sifting through his papers, James had just found an interesting task he could give to Dieter, involving the calibration of a few gyrostatic stabilizers, which was fairly straightforward work. But just as he was about to hand them to his intern, he noticed the man sniffling. Dieter lowered his face a little, whipping a handkerchief out of a pocket and blowing his nose with it. "There, there," said James, patting the man awkwardly on the back.

Dieter abruptly threw out his arms and hugged him. "Danke," he said. "For all your advice ven it comes to de family troubles. You haf been very helpful – it vill be a shame when I am no longer working with you after de launch."

"What do you mean?"

Dieter's sniffling ceased as he pulled back, his eyes shifting about rapidly.

"Don't you worry," said James with a laugh. "I'll put in a good word for you – based on your job performance so far, I have a feeling we'll be working together again in the future. Maybe even on a roughly comparable pay grade!"

Dieter laughed awkwardly. "Yes, perhaps."

James nodded encouragingly and handed him the papers for the gyrostatic stabilization. Now that it looked like Dieter was perking up again, they could iron out all the last minute tweaks and make sure everything was ready to go on Monday. After that, maybe his intern would have some more free time to work out his family problems, as well. Maybe Dieter would even take his wife and son to work on family day in the next couple of weeks. Considering how eccentric Dieter and his family sounded in all his stories, James was definitely interested in meeting them.

XX

"What is it you're looking for?"

Kim and Ron lay together on her bed, Kim's arm curled behind Ron's head, as they watched Monique sitting in front of them and typing madly away at her laptop. Kim was glad to end a long day by hanging out with her friend and boyfriend, but Monique's silence was driving her crazy. They had been hanging out together all afternoon, returning to Kim's place and doing some homework together – to Ron's great dismay – after eating lunch at Bueno Nacho. Right in the middle of a particularly boring math assignment, however, Monique had whooped in excitement and rushed over to Kim's computer with no explanation.

"I'm lookin' for it," she said. "I gotta remember the name."

"What, of the site?"

"KP," complained Ron, "I'm so hungry!"

"So go get something to eat."

"I'm too lazy to go downstairs. And your shoulder is so comfortable!"

"I guess you'll just have to starve, then. We ate at Bueno Nacho like an hour ago, anyway."

"Rufus ate most of my stuff."

"He did not. I was there!"

Kim pulled Ron a little closer as the two of them waited for Monique to find whatever it was she was looking for. Finally, she raised her hands up in the air with a loud yell of triumphand almost knocked the lamp off Kim's desk as she whirled around in her chair. "Here it is!" she exclaimed. "Get a load of this!"

Kim got up from the bed with Ron as the two of them peered closely at the monitor. Her curiosity change to full-fledged shock as she stared at the website. She knew now why Monique had been so excited. This was almost too good to be true.

"Whoa - is that what I think it is?" asked Ron.

Kim shared her boyfriend's incredulity. "I can't believe what I'm looking at."

"This is totally wrongsick."

"That's right!" said Monique. "Even the bad guys need a little love!"

As she read through Dementor's online dating profile, Kim could barely believe her eyes. Monique had stumbled upon a jackpot, at least in terms of giving Kim something to laugh about. It was possible the site might give them some kind of clue as to Dementor's whereabouts, but since it didn't look like there were any specifics, she doubted it.

The profile name read 'Hans D', and although the man in the profile picture was missing his helmet – and showing off a particularly horrifying case of helmet hair in the process – it was unmistakably Dementor. She scanned the profile. Although she could find no specific references to supervillainy, he did mention an interest in dangerous technology and 'ruling things', whatever that meant. Along with a much more disturbing and horrific reference to long walks on the beach.

"Likes older women?" asked Ron as he read the profile. "Ewww!"

Monique scrolled down the profile slowly, making sure her friends didn't miss anything. Kim stopped her friend's scrolling to point out another section. "Look there," she said. "Under 'open to children?' he put 'yes.' Can you imagine Dementor with kids, Ron?"

"I'm having a nice night, KP. I'd rather not."

Monique laughed. "I figured you two would enjoy this. I'm guessin' it's not every day one of those baddies you guys fight pops up on an internet dating site, huh?"

"Hey," said Kim, "wait a minute – why were you on a dating site in the first place, Mon?"

As Monique gave a shrug that was trying way too hard to be indifferent, Kim broke out into a sneaky grin. Realizing where she was about to go with the question, Monique took her laptop away with a grumble and closed the site down.

"Oh, come on," said Kim as she gave her friend a poke in the ribs with her elbow, "you can tell us! Is Monique in the market for some hot internet boys?"

"Okay, so maybe I was checkin' the site out a little! Big deal! I've been single forever. I didn't get lucky like you guys and grow up with some best friend I could go out with and make things easy."

"Still," said Ron, "I wouldn't think you'd need to go on a dating site. You're hot, Monique! You could just come up to a guy and be like, 'hey guy, I'm single, let's mingle' and the guy would be like 'yeah Monique, that's what I'm talking about, booyah!' and then you'd have a date."

"Thanks for the step-by-step demonstration, Ron," said Kim. "The guy would say 'booyah', huh?"

"All cool guys say booyah. And hey, I'm just trying to help a lady out."

"Monique, I thought you were interested in Josh Mankey, anyway?"

Monique tried to look indifferent as she stared vaguely off into the air.

"What makes you say that?" she asked.

"Come on, I see the way you look at him lately. And you said you had a nice conversation that day at Bueno Nacho. What gives?"

"It was a nice conversation. That's it."

"You're so in denial. Monique likes Jooosh!"

"I'm not 'fessing up to anything."

"Pfft."

"Besides, even if I did like him, I'm not as self-confident as I look on the outside, okay? The whole guy thing, and the dating and all that – it's just too much to deal with sometimes, you know? I put up a front and all, and I know I look pretty good," - Monique gestured to her outfit, which both Kim and Ron had to admit was spankin' - "but sometimes I get a little nervous when it comes to the romance. That's all."

"Maybe I should help you out," said Ron.

"Um, that depends on what you mean by 'help out.' But I'm gonna go ahead and say no thanks."

Even though Monique was smiling, Ron crossed his arms in a huff. Rufus mimicked his gesture.

Kim wasn't surprised that her friend was wary of Ron's offer to help. Monique was turning him down in a friendly way, only teasing, but Kim couldn't really blame her. As much as she loved Ron – and was glad to be in a relationship with him – it wasn't exactly like he was a smooth operator. If Ron tried to hook up Monique and Josh, she could see it backfiring somehow. Sometimes Ron still seemed to hold a bit of a grudge against Josh for dating her in the past, anyway, even if that never really went beyond a couple of dates - so any attempt to pair Monique with him could end in disaster.

"Maybe you should send Dementor an email," suggested Kim. "Ask him out!"

"Ha, ha, ha."

Kim grinned at her friend's unenthusiastic response. She looked more closely at Dementor's dating profile, noticing a 'last login' stat in the corner, and gave Monique an apologetic pout. "Oh, tough luck," she said, "it looks like he hasn't logged in for a couple of months. I guess either he found somebody or he gave up."

"What a missed opportunity," said Monique.

Ron looked like he was feeling queasy about the very thought of Dementor and Monique together; Kim decided she'd better drop it before he made a mess on her bed. The thought of Dementor dating was a little gorchy, she had to admit, although she couldn't decide if finding a dating profile belonging to one of her supervillain foes was more gorchy or sad. Maybe the life of evil just didn't leave much time for romance.

As she thought about Dementor's online dating activities – and recent inactivity - Ron's comment about seeing a wedding ring on the man's hand the other day came to mind. Dementor had been sailing by on the rope ladder pretty fast as he hung from the helicopter and stole the Vortex Inducer at Hench Co; Ron hadn't been sure if he had really seen it. But it was an interesting thought. It seemed unlikely that Dementor would have found someone online and gotten married that fast, though – his profile wasn't really that old.

Dementor, married. The more Kim thought about it, the more it seemed like a good thing. Maybe if all her enemies got married, they'd stop bothering her all the time. But then again, Kim had to admit that when it came to fighting evil, she kind of liked being bothered. Now that she thought about it, Claudia Lipsky had mentioned getting married recently. Using an online dating site, too.

But that – no, she thought. There was no way that could...

Kim pulled out her Kimmunicator and dialed Wade.

"What are you doing?" asked Ron.

"Checking into something."

Wade popped up on the screen.

"Hey, Kim."

"Wade, I have a favor to ask you."

"What's that?"

"I'm sending you the URL for a profile on an internet dating site, belonging to Dementor."

"What?"

"Yeah, I know. That was my reaction, too."

"Awesome," said Wade, rubbing his hands together. "I was just looking for something funny to read online!"

"Well, it's more than that. I was wondering if you could hack into it and find out who he's been communicating with on the site. I'd like to see if he's been talking to anyone we know."

"Um, okay. Why, you have somebody in mind?"

Kim nodded.

"Give me a minute, then."

Ron and Monique sidled up to Kim and watched the Kimmunicator, their interest piqued.

"Okay, got it!"

Ron whistled in admiration. "Man, you rock, Wade."

"It was pretty easy, actually. His password is 'Dementor'."

"Yikes."

They waited a few more moments as Wade typed away. Before he even said anything, Kim knew she was on to something when she saw his expression change from concentration to shock. "Wow," he said. "He was talking to one person in particular a lot before he stopped using the site. Check this out, guys."

Wade brought up an image of another user's profile picture on the Kimmunicator.

It was Claudia Lipsky.

Ron held a hand to his mouth. "I think I'm gonna barf."

"That's Drakken's mom?" asked Monique.

Kim nodded. "I think we need to pay her another visit, Ron."

"What, tonight?"

Kim thought it was a good idea; they were about done with their homework, anyway. Just as she was about to leave the room, however, she heard a couple of voices talking downstairs. One belonged to her father, who had come home from work about half an hour ago, talking about how things were going well with the moon launch program at the Middleton Space Center – and talking about his intern, Dieter, which was now suddenly raising Kim's suspicions as well – but there was another voice downstairs.

Suddenly, all her supervillain foes were revealing themselves at once.

Kim bounded out of her room and down the stairs with Ron and Monique struggling to keep up. She reached the kitchen and burst inside, ready to tackle her foe if he was in there threatening her parents with some kind of doomsday device. Sure enough, there he was: Doctor Drakken! Although Kim didn't see Shego anywhere. And he didn't seem to be threatening anybody. He was just sitting at the kitchen table with her mother and father.

"Uh, what's going on?"

"Drew came over to pay us a visit," said James. He looked a little displeased at the visit, too.

Kim glared suspiciously at her foe. "Why are you here, Drakken?"

It was an easy question, but just before he answered, he held back. Like he was stumbling over his response. Like the very act of answering was incredibly painful to him. Finally, after everyone in the kitchen waited for what seemed like forever, he managed to force the words out of his mouth.

"I - I need your help, Kim Possible."

Kim raised an eyebrow. She never thought she'd hear that.