Title: Catnip
Rating: M
Pairing: Shizuo x Izaya
Prompt from the Drrr Kink Meme: Shizuo accidentally turns into a cat. Without knowing the tabby is his arch-nemesis, Izaya takes him home and keeps him as a pet. As a cat, Shizuo discovers a side of Izaya that nobody knows, his secrets, life, fears, loves and feelings.
Disclaimer: I own none of these characters!
THIS STORY CONTAINS MALExMALE RELATIONSHIPS. You have been warned.
"Unfortunately, I have nothing to offer," Izaya shrugged easily, still holding his cat who had stopped struggling to reach his senpai and instead stared in astonishment.
There was only a light twitch of Kasuka's eyebrow to indicate his annoyance before he continued in a monotonous voice, "If you just name the price, I-"
"Shizu-chan's information isn't up for sale," Izaya cut off the famous actor. He ignored the perturbed glare of a certain dreadlocks debt collector. "You'll have better luck with another informant. Ah, as I recall, there was a certain reporter who was trying to obtain some of his private information some time back. His name was, let's see… Niekawa Shu- "
"We don't care. We know it's your doing that caused his disappearance. We don't need to go to anyone else." Tanaka sharply interrupted the young informant in anger. Shizuo had to admit, if he were in their shoes, he would have thought it was Izaya's fault too. 99.9% of the things that went on in Shizuo's life, especially the 'bad' things, were all the informant's fault. This, he believed. At least, he did back then.
It was ironic, or perhaps it was karma, that even if Izaya had nothing to do with Shizuo's disappearance this time, everyone was accusing him.
Izaya pretended to consider as he 'hmmed' out loud, staring off into space. Then spotting Namie who was being a 'good' secretary and making everyone coffee, the informant called out to his employee.
"Namie-san~ you may leave for the day."
She frowned, turning to stare at Izaya. "I have a lot of piled up work due to your laziness, I'd rather…"
"Double. Pay." Izaya smiled and raised two fingers with his free hand while the other held his cat. Once Namie confirmed she would be paid in double for her absence, she quickly packed and promptly left happily. Shizuo couldn't help but think to himself what an ice queen she was, not really caring about her boss or her job as long as she could spend more time with her brother.
Once Izaya's secretary left, Kasuka broke the silence. "I wouldn't ask for details. All we wish to know is, if he's safe."
"Ah~ a closure. That's what everyone wants in their lives when a relationship breaks or they lose their loved one in an unfortunate accident. They just want to move on with their lives after if they could just arrive to their own conclusion. Humans are so selfish, aren't they Flea?" Izaya smirked and raised his cat at eye level to smile directly at him. It sent chills down the once-debt collector's spine. He knew… Izaya couldn't possibly know that he was who he was but… it was that smirk, where Izaya's eyes split and his lips grinned yet the smile didn't quite reach his cold eyes… he hated it when Izaya smiled like that. Clearly, his motives deceptive and untrustworthy.
Or so Shizuo would have thought a few months back. Now it was different. Shizuo understood that it was just another mask. A mask to hide his true feelings. Because Shizuo could feel how cold Izaya's hands were as the informant held his pet. The temperature was the only thing that Izaya couldn't seem to lie about.
His words worked. It made the tanned debt collector's face flush with anger and even the body guards narrowed their eyes, clearly offended. Kasuka remained still but Shizuo could sense that the actor too had a slight change of heart at the attack, manipulating his pure intentions and muddying it stained.
Something Shizuo knew all too well from firsthand experience with Orihara Izaya for the past decade or so. He was too good at twisting everyone's words to mean something completely different, bringing the worst out of people even if they were pure.
"Regardless, my answer is the same. I have no information to give you." That was not a lie. Izaya really did not have anything. But because he had manipulated the situation, his words now held a different meaning, as if he was intentionally withholding information.
"I would still…" Kasuka tried again but Izaya held up his hand.
"You have nothing that I wish to have." The informant said simply. Tanaka gave him a dark look. "Then you want us to blackmail you?" Because to others it was clear as day that Izaya knew where Shizuo was… or if he was alive or dead.
Izaya said nothing but gave him his most winsome smile which he knew would aggravate the debt collector. "If you can manage to find something that I would want for my services, you are more than welcome to try."
"I understand." The young actor said, raising his hand. The body guards quickly closed the suitcase.
"I hope to see you soon then, Orihara-san… with a more enticing offer." Even though Kasuka said those words in a flat tone, it was clearly a challenge, meaning the next time Kasuka came, it wouldn't be money on the table anymore but an all out war.
The men turned their backs on the informant and his cat as they turned to leave. Shizuo stared at the backs of his most trusted friend and his beloved brother. Leaving. Leaving him.
Quickly, Shizuo jumped out of Izaya's hold and dashed forward before anyone could react. He lunged, jumping high enough to cling onto the shoulder of the super star and almost knocked the young man down. The bodyguards were caught completely by surprise as they reacted a second too late when the tabby cat's claws dug into the dark coat and clung unto the man who turned his head to look at him.
The famous actor held up his hand, telling his men silently that he was alright, while he looked at the animal desperately holding onto him.
"Kasuka! Are you alright?" Tom was there, calling the actor by his real name while the debt collector's hand almost reached out to grab and yank the cat off of his kouhai's younger brother. Izaya was staring as well, obviously a bit taken back by his pet's sudden strange behavior which had seemed like an attack but had turned into something else that he couldn't yet comprehend. His cat never acted this way before with anyone and it was disturbing.
"I'm alright." The actor, Hanejima Yuuhei, also known as Heiwajima Kasuka, Shizuo's younger brother said in a quiet, monotone voice as he continued to stare at the cat clinging to him. His eyes clearly said he was silently communicating with the animal while the cat stared back at the actor with desperate eyes.
'Kasuka! It's me! You understand right? You always understood me no matter what!' Shizuo said, his eyes frantically trying to communicate with his younger brother who had always understood the real reason as to why the blond delinquent got angry and why he fought with violence even when he claimed he hated it. Kasuka had always understood the core problem to Shizuo's anger, despite what it looked on the outside, and had always understood his older brother's insecurities and fears. Even when Shizuo would spew out non-sense or claimed that he got angry because of something else, Kasuka understood and was able to differentiate the true reasons. When others just labeled the blond as a 'delinquent' that they wanted to avoid, Kasuka knew his brother wasn't actually a delinquent who fought because he was being a 'rebel'. He knew that Shizuo truly hated violence and that he couldn't help himself when he got angry. He had watched his older brother grow up and as the only human who was closest to Shizuo for years, Kasuka always understood even when Shizuo said nothing or was in self-denial.
Kasuka Heiwajima stared at the cat for a good while before he turned to face the rest of the people in the room. Facing the informant, the young actor said in a calm voice, "I think your cat must be smelling the scent of Yuigadokusonmaru on my clothes."
Everyone blinked as a second of silence passed while they tried to comprehend what was said.
"Yugiga-what?"
"Yuigadokusonmaru. Dokusonmaru-kun for short. My cat." Kasuka said in a matter-of-fact tone. "I think your cat must be smelling the scent of my pet, informant-san. Though this is strange. My cat is a male."
Shizuo's jaw dropped and his face fell in consternation.
"Ah… I see…" Izaya had forgotten the name of Kasuka's pet cat for that one second of confusion, a rare thing for someone like Orihara Izaya. Obviously the stress was slightly getting to him, keeping him on the edge that his cat's abnormal behavior had placed him upon.
"Come 'ere Flea. Now you can't go bothering other people's cats…. It's not even a female cat you can mate with, you know." Izaya stepped up to try to pry off his cat.
Shizuo hissed. He actually hissed at Izaya as he clung on. No, no. He had to go home with Kasuka no matter what! Kasuka would eventually understand! He must! He always understood! Always knew what Shizuo inherently needed even when the blond never spoke. Shizuo was sure that Kasuka would eventually figure it out and find a way to help…
As Izaya wrestled with his cat, there was a loud riiiip~! sound as the tabby's strong claws tore the coat's sleeve.
"Ah, FLEA! Now look what you've done! I really apologize, Hanejima-san. I'm sure it was a brand name coat… let me pay for the…"
"No need." Kasuka raised his hand and interrupted not only Izaya's apologies but also the entire awkwardly comedic outcome to what had once been such a hostile meeting. "It's fine. I actually bought it at a 500 yen store."
…
Everyone looked at Kasuka to see if the actor was joking but no, Kasuka was entirely serious. He was, after all, an eccentric celebrity who mixed and matched clothing and accessories from Gucci or Dolce & Gabbana with others from 100 yen stores (Japanese equivalent of Dollar stores) while still somehow making the cheap clothing look fashionable and brand name clothes look like casual wears; a unique sense of fashion taste.
"Ah… well, still. I would like to somehow compensate you…" Izaya frowned, now at a loss since he was in a disadvantage thanks to his pet cat.
Kasuka just carefully took off his coat. "It's unnecessary. We'll be back for a proper bargain." The threat wasn't there yet Kasuka still obviously showed that he wasn't planning on giving up nor was he planning to use Izaya's cat's mistake as a way to extort Shizuo's information.
Izaya was inwardly grateful though he did not show it as a plain smile remained upon his face. "I look forward to our next meeting then."
Shizuo meowed, again struggling, as his paws reached out for Kasuka. But Izaya held him tight, chiding and scolding his cat to behave while the guests left. Kasuka stared at the cat briefly, a contemplative expression hidden beneath dull eyes before he turned and walked towards them. Shizuo's heart thudded hard in his chest with hope at the approach… only to have it crushed when Kasuka pet his head.
"I can't take you, tabby cat-san."
Shizuo's ears drooped along with his long body and tail, losing his energy completely as if the cat understood what those words meant.
Izaya watched the exchange with an unreadable expression. He looked up at the young actor with a more serious look. "Hanejima-san. Would you… take this cat with you?"
Kasuka looked at Izaya with a blank expression.
"What I mean is… this cat… never likes people. It's… the first time he's shown such a strong attachment to anyone. I think it might be for the best… if you could adopt this cat…"
Shizuo froze. Wait, was…. Izaya… actually… asking Kasuka… to take him? Could he really be able to go home?
Kasuka frowned slightly, just a tilt of one eyebrow in his otherwise expressionless face.
"Thank you for the offer but… Dokusonmaru is all I need."
Shizuo's hope died as his younger brother and his senpai said their good-byes. He barely felt his arm being lifted as Izaya took one of his limp limbs and waved good-bye to them.
Good-bye.
The door closed, the sound heavy in Shizuo's chest as it sank deeply inside him, and then they were gone.
"So… you really wanted to go with him didn't you, Flea?"
The words were spoken softly but it startled the cat out of his mourning. Izaya's voice had sounded so loud due to the ominous tension that that filled the place now that they were alone. Shizuo didn't even know how much time had passed while he was in this subdued state of loss, the cat just drooping limply while Izaya held him. Yet now that he had had his attention brought back to the present he knew it must have been a good while.
"Meow…" Shizuo mewed timidly. His body was slumped and stretching downwards due both to gravity and because Shizuo himself felt too drained of all energy to bother picking himself back up. He was so close. He was so close to going home with…
"Guess it was all pointless wasn't it? Trying to win your affection."
Shizuo blinked as he was lowered to the floor, frozen on the spot. What did he say? What had… Izaya… ?
The tabby cat's eyes quickly snapped up to look at his master and caught a brief glance of what he thought was…
A very forced smile.
Izaya turned away slowly, abandoning Shizuo as he walked back towards his desk. He sank into his chair heavily as if he was suddenly burdened, an idle hand massaging his temple. Shizuo stared at him for awhile, his eyes widening in realization.
He had hurt him.
Again.
Without knowing it, Shizuo had hurt Izaya again.
But it didn't make any sense to Shizuo why Izaya was trying to win his affection. He was a cat after all…. right? He wasn't human, therefore an exception to Izaya's love for humans. Or… at least... he should be.
And yet, it didn't matter anymore. Even though it made no sense to Shizuo, he knew he had somehow hurt the man who he owed a debt to and that was all that he had to know.
"Meow…"
Shizuo mewled apologetically as he walked over and rubbed himself against the informant's leg. From this angle he couldn't see Izaya's face as the hand rubbing his temple was covering it. But... Izaya wasn't crying…. right? His hands...now that Shizuo thought about it...they had been cold, hadn't they? While the informant had held the cat it had been cold... And Shizuo might have been too out of it then to realize this but now his mind was registering just what cold hands meant when it came to Izaya.
"Trying to apologize now, kitty?" Izaya chuckled bitterly though his hand still hid his face at first. Then, reluctantly, he lowered both of his hands to pick up his cat, and sure enough, as Shizuo had predicted the hands were cold.
"Niyaaa…"
Shizuo meowed again, shuddering slightly at the icy hands dipping into his fur and holding his warm body. When Izaya placed him on his lap, the cat stood on his hind legs, forepaws on Izaya's chest to begin kneading lightly while, Shizuo took the chance to stare Izaya in the face.
The mask… was still there. But only half-heartedly worn. Izaya smiled but it was only a half smile, only one corner of his lips lifting as the other remained sad.
"Trying to cheer me up now? It's not going to work…." Izaya closed his eyes and sighed, his shoulders slouching wearily.
"They came to me you know." The informant started to speak, his hands lightly massaging the cat's fur. Shizuo's temperature was trying to warm those hands up but it was to no avail. They remained cold.
"If those two… came to me… it means they're at the end of their ropes too. For I'm sure, I'd be the last person they'd go to to seek help…"
Shizuo blinked. That was true. Izaya would be the last person Tom-senpai would seek out while Kasuka would have used all of his influences and connections before he would ever come to Izaya for help.
"Merowl…?" Shizuo tilted his head in… that disgustingly-cute-way-he-knew-how-as-a-cat-though-if-he-was-ever-caught-doing-it-as-human-he'd-dig-a-hole-and-bury-himself-forever. Izaya let out a low chuckle, mixing it with a sigh that said, 'you're hopeless,' while he gathered the cat into his arms and hugged him close.
If someone had told Shizuo even two months ago that he would be acting this disgustingly cute in front of Izaya to win back his affection and cheer him up… well... he would have probably punched that person out of his clothes and sent him flying all the way to Hong Kong.
"This is bad… I thought maybe… perhaps the police could be of some use but…" Izaya bit his lower lip. Then he suddenly burst out laughing, startling Shizuo as the cat jumped lightly.
"Hahahaha… in the end, you really can't rely on anyone after all Flea. If you really want something, you have got to do it yourself." Izaya's laughter was maniacal as the male began to slump further and further down into his swivel chair. He laughed and he laughed - the sound crescendoing until he suddenly began to cough.
The informant sat up, sighing deeply, before sweeping his fingers through his bangs and the side of his head in obvious frustration and anger. "Is it even possible for someone to just suddenly disappear without a trace? Poof! Gone. No leads, no tracks; there's absolutely nothing left behind. It's like he magically evaporated into thin air. Like one day he just decided to… to…"
Izaya's voice, after rapidly firing away his irritation started to fade away at the last words.
"To… just… abandon everything."
Shizuo meowed half comfortingly and half curiously, trying to look at Izaya's face as he leaned on the desk with the cat on his lap.
"I thought… I thought he'd never change. You know… he'd always be there. No matter how many bullies, gangs, yakuza, police… even when assassins came his way he always defeated them all as if they were just dust on his shoulders he could brush off..."
Though Izaya's voice sounded melancholic, Shizuo on the other hand huffed indignantly. 'SO it really was you who sent all of them after me!' But Shizuo couldn't say all that. Instead he got on the desk and pawed at Izaya's hand that was covering the informant's face as he leaned against it. Still curious -and no it could not be because he was a cat that he had recently gained this curiosity- he walked around to the other side to check on Izaya's expression.
However once he saw it Shizuo found himself pausing, eyes slowly blinking in surprise at the sight of such a dejected and open expression on Izaya. It was truly rare to catch Izaya without any kind of guard up. Almost as if… Izaya truly felt crushed that…
Shizuo had abandoned him. It was as if Izaya truly believed… that by disappearing or dying or running away or whatever had happened to Shizuo, it was as if the blond had finally given up on dealing with Izaya's trolling and abandoned him.
Was that what it was? Was that all he was to Izaya? Just some indestructible being that Izaya could troll at? What was he to Izaya? Why had Izaya bullied him - since the very first day they had met?