New polyvores
-Randoms for Haiden and Samuel, none of them have been mentioned by name in the story yet. And Brady
Benjamin POV
Sitting in the kitchen in the Hudson- Hummel- Anderson's house and looking up at the man in the baseball cap I felt so nervous I was on my way to crawl out of my skin, and along with the side effects from my meds made me feel like I was either going to blow up- or throw up.
"Honey are you okay?" Carole had come into the room after playing with my sister and seemed to be on her way to get something. "You're shaking! And you're sweating!" I hesitated and looked around for a bit wondering about how to answer this without making it way too embarrassing.
"Actually I… I'll just…" I stood up. "I feel kind of sick I… I just need to get some air." I hesitated for a bit, almost as if I'd forgotten how to get myself out the door and outside. "I… ugh… I really need to just get some air." I hurried out of the kitchen. "Mady stay here. I'll be back in a minute." I pushed the door open, closed it carefully and then sunk down onto the porch steps and put my head in my hands.
I hated my meds- I hated them, hated them, hated them. They as good as stole money from us, made me feel like this and…. Well, every other lousy thing meds would be able to do to a person while at the same time working in the way they were supposed to so I couldn't really stop taking them at school days! Even though I did just that on weekends and holidays to get rid of the side effects for a bit.
"Are you okay?" Carole came outside after me and sat down. "You seemed pretty messed up in there!" She patted my back.
"Yes I'm fine." I coughed hoarsely. "It was just… well I don't know really… It got a bit much at once. You're a nurse right?" Carole nodded. "Well, then you know that medicines' worst side effects are usually when the medicines are starting to make their work?" I pulled the box of pills out of my pocket- mostly to assure her too that I wasn't a drug addict or anything.
"Yes… I thought these medicines weren't supposed to have side effects. Here, let me see." She took the box and read what it said on the sides.
"They're not… and I haven't had many earlier but… sorry you don't want to hear this." When I realized I was saying too much as usual I grabbed the pill box and pushed it back into my pocket. "I suppose I'd better get in there, before I lose this job before I even had this." I held out my hand. "Here, let me help you."
"Okay… I might be old Benjamin but I can still stand up by myself." I let hear a short chuckle and felt myself blush. "Hey, it's okay… and Burt is a kind man believe me, he's got one of the most golden hearts I've ever met. So don't you worry too much about this okay?" I nodded and opened the door. "Good luck honey."
I walked back and to have myself feel slightly more secure I guessed I kept standing this time. "So… Are you okay son?" I nodded. "You don't have to tell me if it's too private. But Blaine mentioned there was something in certain that you needed money to pay something for… what was it?" I sighed and fingered on the box in my pocket.
"I… I take some meds… I do take something called Ritalin because I… because I have AD…. ADHD…" I sighed. "And I need to be able to pay for them myself." I silent and Burt looked questioning to me. "They're about fifty dollars a month."
"FIFTY?" Carole knew since before- Burt looked as if I had just told him I could see ghosts. "Okay… So here's the deal son… you will come to my gas station maybe twice a week, be there a couple of hours at the time and we will check when you come what jobs fits you the best. It's not much work and therefore not a lot of money- but I think that for that I could give you maybe a hundred, a hundred and fifty dollars a month."
It was literally as if a heavy stone had fallen from my heart. "Thank you sir I… Oh my God that is…. I would have been more than happy for like half of that." I let hear a relieved laugh. "That is…. I'm sorry I've just got to!" Without asking I embraced the man and hugged him tightly before I said anything else.
"Can you come there tomorrow after glee club?" I quickly bobbed my head up and down- no football on Thursdays. "Would you have to bring your sister?" I hesitated, and then nodded again and Burt scratched his head distressed. "Will it be okay if she can sit in the lounge with whatever she wants to do right then?" I nodded again. "Then…. You've got yourself a job kiddo."
"Thank you so much sir.." He joke- glared at me. "Burt I mean. Thank you so much." I must have shook his hand at least a hundred times. "Oh I'm so relieved I:.. thank you. Oh… I must go home now or mum will have gone to work before we come home… MADY. WE'VE GOT TO LEAVE!" I ran up to Mady and started explaining to her what was going on.
"Why would you need a job?" Mum asked me when I told her what was going on. "I work my very hardest and pay for everything don't I?" I sighed and sent Mady of to play so that I and mum could talk alone. "Is there something I can't give you Ben? Something you need?" I shook my head.
"I just want to be able to pay for something myself ma… I… I don't want to put so much on you." I reached over the table and took her hand. "With this I'll be able to pay for my meds myself and sometimes maybe food at school or a book…"
"You've got books over your whole room!"
"I could never have enough books ma!" I looked pleading to her. "Please mum, I just wanted for you to be proud and I thought you'd be happy. And it's really the best job you could imagine only for two, three hours at the most and two, three times a week and Mady can come with me and it will be scheduled after when I go to school and have glee and everything."
"Oh honey." Mum reached over the table and twisted a tress of my blonde hair around her finger. "I am proud of you. Especially this last year you have been so brave and so strong and you have done so much more than I could ever have asked you about!" She sighed. "I just don't want you to be too stressed out, I want you to have your time to read and watch TV…"
"I don't like watching TV"
"I know… but you need some time to yourself." Mum sighed. "But you're right, we need more money… You have to worry about so much you shouldn't have to worry about Benjamin. I really wish I didn't have to put so much on you! Come here." Mum leaned towards me and kissed my forehead. "I gotta go now, don't stay up okay?"
"I won't" I had stopped doing that a long time ago. "Don't forget to say goodbye to Mady. You know how devastated she is when you forget about doing that." Mum nodded and I felt the usual stab in my heart thinking about Mady and our parents- if she was so devastated about mum leaving for work without saying goodbye- how would she react when we sooner or later would have to tell her about dad.
While I heard mum fix to get ready for work I pulled up my phone out of my pocket. I couldn't call anyone since there was no credit but free text messages to anyone was some great stuff and I sent away one to Lea- Marie Hale knowing that we needed to meet up and find a song and rehearse for our duet tomorrow or we wouldn't have the time. It couldn't have been five minutes when my phone beeped with a reply.
I've told you, I'm not doing a duet with you Heedie! Screw what that Blaine- guy says! I don't want to do a duet with you, I don't need to and I'm not going to. So just get off my back already.
Seth POV
On Wednesday I stayed behind at school for a bit to talk to a teacher about a test that we had in a couple of weeks. It took a bit more time than what I had expected and when I came down the stairs at school I was only hoping for that Belle would have waited for me like she had said she would when I didn't think it would take so much time.
"Hey Seth!" Belle greeted me when I came through the hallway and closed her drawing block. "Are you ready to go?" I answered her yes and opened my locker starting to stuff in my books into my locker and pull out my raincoat while I heard Esme fix with her things behind me and then her phone beeping with a text message.
"Oh darn it!" I turned towards her while fixing with my hood. "Dad's fallen… again!" She hung her bag over her shoulder. "Hold on I'll just call my mum and ask if she can take it…" Belle called and there was nothing else for me to do then to stuff the homework we had down in my bag and then wait for her to get done.
"But I was going to eat dinner with Seth… No mum seriously! We're just friends…" Belle rolled her eyes to her mum at me. "..Okay… Okay… bye!" She hung up. "We need to go by at mine first and help dad up. Mum's got some surgery on some dog she needs to perform first." I nodded and felt my chest slightly tighten.
On Sunday, when I and Belle came home to Mr. Jolie who had fallen we had helped him up, with one move my slacks had rolled up and Mr. Jolie saw the prosthetic- he was a… special man with strong opinions and the next thirty minutes until I left had been spent hearing one insult after the other thrown after me until I decided to just go home.
"What's he doing here?" When we came to the Jolie's Mr. Jolie was sitting on the hallway floor but didn't seem to care as I was in the house. "I don't want you hear you cripple! Get out of my house, I don't want you in my house."
"Be quiet dad, we're just going to help you up and then we're going to leave again!" Belle tried, but Billy Jolie wasn't a man to listen- not now either.
"I don't want you in my house, cripple!" He spat. "Get out of my house, I want you out of here. No, don't touch me. Get out of my house, cripple." I tried seeming as if I didn't care about what he said, but when Belle sighed and nodded to the door I was quite relieved to just stand up and walk out the door and wait in the parking lot.
"I'm sorry about that!" Belle came outside only a minute later. "He's been in such a bad mood lately!" I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Worse mood than usual then!" I did my best to smile comforting at her and then turned to walk down the street towards the restaurant a few blocks away.
"Hey…"I raised my hand in a wave when I recognized Charlotte Amato in the parking lot outside a house but silent when I saw a boy, probably a bit older than her come up behind and she turned to him. "Do you know who that is?" I and Belle passed around the corner and I turned to Belle with my question since I knew Belle and Charlotte had been meeting for their duet.
"Yes…" Belle hesitated and seemed to wonder about saying something. "…That's Liam Linnel… I think it's her boyfriend." My chest tightened again- that was the answer I had been afraid of getting. "Yes… I'm pretty sure it's her boyfriend actually. She really loves him and talks about him all the time." I closed my eyes and tried to take in what Belle had just told me.
"Seth?" Belle spoke my name when I had stopped on the sidewalk and I opened my eyes again. "Are you coming?" I hesitated. "You were in love with her weren't you?" I hesitated again, then silently nodded. "I'm sorry…" Belle seemed to be the one to hesitate now. "Will it make it better if you get to eat your bodyweight in chocolate and ice cream?"
I should have smiled. Yeah, maybe I should have. It was almost amusing how she had said that- she was such a girl sometimes!
"I don't really feel like eating now." I said callously. "I'm just going to go home." Without waiting for an answer or the usual "see you tomorrow" I walked up the road again, and not to have to pass Charlotte's house again I took a longer way home than usual. It started raining and when I at last came home it was dripping of my hair and it was a miracle it hadn't soaked through my jacket yet.
"Oh, hey honey." Mum came into the hallway. "Oh…" She leaned down and got up a towel from a drawer in the dresser in the hallway. "Come here honey." Before I could protest she had pulled the towel around my head and was rubbing it towards my dripping tresses. "Honey?" She frowned when she had gotten the towel off again. "Are you okay?"
I didn't answer her, just glared and turned and walked down the hallway, through the kitchen and into my room where I slumped down on my bed just starting to stare into the wall with the thoughts spinning in my head.
So she had a boyfriend? I guessed that was it! I thought I had seen her look to me which I had hoped would mean that she maybe thought about me in a similar way as I thought about her. But I guess it had all been wishing from my side and simply my imagination! If she had a boyfriend then I guessed it was just… well that was it wasn't it?
"Seth?" I heard mum come and open the door. "Are you okay honey?" She came and sat down on my bed behind me and stroke my hair. "Has something happened?" I sighed and hesitated about what or if to tell her.
"Go away."
"Seth. What is it?" I rolled over onto my back and looked up at her. "And why are you home this early I thought you were eating dinner with Belle." I nodded and lifted my head and lied it towards my forehead. "Did something happen with her?" I shook my head and pushed myself up to sit and lean against the wall.
"I just want…" I sighed. "I just want for one thing, something at all to be easy for once. Or maybe not easy but…. To at least make sense!" I lowered my head and stroke my forehead. "Belle's dad- Mr. Jolie- he hates me, he saw my leg and since then he doesn't want me in his house. I mean… I'm trying not to care about it…"
"I know you Seth. You wouldn't get this messed up about someone going on about your leg." I hesitated again, then decided to tell her. At least there was no one in the world I trusted than my adoptive mother.
"Do you know that girl I mentioned? Charlotte Amato?" Mum nodded and I sighed and gathered my courage to be able to say the next sentence. "She's got a boyfriend." Mum's expression softened when she realized what this was all about and she smiled slightly while continuing to push her fingers through my fringe over and over again.
"That hurts Seth! I know it does. I have been young and in love too, remember that! And I'd be more worried for you if you said it didn't hurt! In fact… Eva…" I rose my head again when she mentioned my biological mum's name. "My older sister…. Do you know what she said to me when I had had my first heartbreak?" I shook my head.
"No I don't"
"She told me that it hurts so much because you fall for a person, and then end up wanting her so much you need her. And so when it's ripped away the body will have to change itself so to the point it doesn't need her anymore. And before the healing starts it hurts!"
I swallowed and did my best to fight the tears away. "It's okay honey." She patted my arm. "I know you don't want to. But if you need to then… it's okay." I wiped my eyes with my T- shirt and then crawled forward and leaned against my mum and she just took me in her arms without another word being said in between us.
Because right now I could guess, that the only thing I wanted or needed was for mum to just hold me like she did and let me cry like a child in her arms.
Sharon POV
On Thursday lunch I had text- messaged Alex Fredericks about meeting me in a hallway on the bottom floor that was always empty. And I was nervous before, when he was fifteen minutes late- I was about to throw up from nervousity when Alex finally came strutting down the stairs and looked around and saw me.
"So what did you want?" He asked callously. "I don't want anything to do with you and you know it Shar!" I tried to act like what he said didn't hurt me and I just didn't care and was on my way to start talking, but obviously had waited too long. "Come on then, I'm going to hang out with my bros so make it fast."
"Do you remember on that party that you and Ben and Haiden had?" Alex rolled his eyes as if he wanted to show he'd rather forget. "And… what we did?" He snorted and told me he'd rather forget. "Well… There's something I need to tell you… and there's not really an easy way to say it so I'm just going to say it right out…" I tried my best to swallow even though my mouth was dry like the Sahara dessert.
"…I'm pregnant."
If Alex had had a cold and rude expression looking at me before I said that, it was nothing to how he looked after and his expression went somewhat scared, but for only a moment until it went cold as ice and he took several deep breaths and went first pale and then bright red before he spoke again.
"You freaking slut!" Alex spat but he couldn't hide the shaky tone in his voice. "I never ever want to see you again. This is no baby of mine and if I meet him or her once it will be one time too much." Mumbling swearing words he took a step back and I hoped that he would walk away even though he breathed in again and was starting to someone else when Dakota came around the corner.
"You go away!" Dakota pushed Alex away, Alex stumbled backwards and fell. Then made himself ready to get up an punch but Dakota had put his sole against Alex's chest and pushed him flat down towards the floor before he had the time. "You had something amazing, something real amazing and you just threw it away- more than once. I never want to see you talking to Sharon again and if you are hurting her I will kill you. Understand?"
Alex nodded, and before he had gotten up Dakota grabbed my shirt and pulled me with him up the stairs and around the corner. It was when we came there that I couldn't help but to break down and Dakota pulled me into an empty classroom and sat down on a desk and rubbed my back all until there were no more tears to cry.
"I'm sorry." At last I wiped the last few tears with my sleeves. "Look I really… I really appreciate what you did… I have no idea what Alex was about to do just when you came in but whatever he was saying it wasn't nice… you know you really wouldn't have to help me right?" Dakota nodded and pulled a hand through his hair.
"I know, I want to. And… listen, I know it's hard with everything going on but… don't mind about that Alex okay? You're worth better than him! And then this cliché that… one day you're going to find one very special guy whom you will love very much and all that jazz and… he's not worth your pain or anything okay?"
"Are you trying to make me fall in love with you or anything because you're a sweet guy and so…" I had said it before I had the time to change my mind or stop myself and Dakota let hear a short laugh and shook his head.
"Nah Shar! I'm super, super gay! And by the way… I know you've probably got a lesson but since you've probably missed about half of it already, how about skipping the rest because with how cold Alex was to you and how I'm trying to convince you to let him go I had the idea of a song we could d for our duet and I think it's just going to take a bit of rehearsing."
I hesitated, skipping classes wasn't at all like me but… maybe just this once… I had missed a big part of the lesson anyway and… Before I had had the time to make up my mind Dakota had grabbed my hand and pulled me out in the hallway and into the choir room and sat down by the piano pulling up his phone for some lyrics while telling me what song it was so I could get it up.
"What are you doing here?" After a couple of times of rehearsing the song suddenly Blaine came into the room. "Don't you two have lessons you need to be at?" I looked kind of ashamed to Dakota and tried to come up with an excuse. "Okay, I can let you go for this time if you go straight to your classes now, but don't let it happen again okay?"
I nodded quickly and left the room without a word to either Blaine or Dakota, then ran down the hallway and straight up to Miss Montague's classroom and apologized for being so late before I sat down in the back of the classroom. Trying to seem as I paid attention to what was going on but my thoughts drifting away to Alex and Dakota and… everything but French verbs!
The song Dakota had found for sure was just perfect for everything going on right now. How the fear over everything made me feel all cold, how cold Alex had acted and how I just needed to let it all go, Alex, Dakota, mum, everything! I just wanted to go into my room at home, slam the door after me and just be for a moment and not worry about anything.
But I guessed it wasn't actually about wanting to do that, I just needed to think about everything and nothing for a while for anything to make sense and clear up. Yeah- I guess that was just what I needed.
But… more than anything else… I wanted to do whatever would be best for my baby. I simply needed to do what was best for him or her- there was no other option.
Esme POV
"So…" Mr. Blaine came into the room when glee club started. "I realized I forgot telling you about the name for the glee club on Tuesday so I will be telling it now before I forget it again." He clapped his hands together. "So, ladies, gentlemen and beautiful princess." He looked to Mady Heedie at the last couple of words. "We are… Finn's army!"
"I still don't think you should have called the glee club that!" Christie stated callously. Mr. Blaine sighed and nodded.
"I know Chris, but… if Finn sounds like you've heard it before you might have read on that plaque over there." He pointed to the plaque with the picture of a dark- haired boy. "Or you might have known him and Finn… he was a great man, he had one of the biggest most golden hearts and… he left us very much too soon."
Mr. Blaine coughed and cleared his throat, it was clear that it was hard for him to talk about Finn. "And a couple of you knew him… Christie… He was your cousin," I turned my head and looked to Christie, who- as usual wasn't showing any feelings at all. "And Bradon, you were very good friends with him and Bradon was also the one who came up with the name."
Mr. Blaine started clapping his hands for Bradon and us others came along. "So Bradon… For coming up with that you will get to choose what theme we have during one week with this sometime during the fall or the winter but I can't tell you when yet. And you will also get a solo at sectionals. I would like to give you more for this wonderful idea but that's what I have."
"That's great Blaine." Bradon just nodded. "You wouldn't have had to give me anything for it I'm just glad I came up with it and that you liked it." Mr. Blaine smiled back and riffled in some papers he held in and asked who would want to go first of the duet couples that hadn't gone out yet.
"We can go first." Belle Jolie said almost right away. "If that's okay with you Charlotte and that's okay with everyone else?" Mr. Blaine nodded and I and the others agreed and she and Charlotte stepped down on the floor. "We will be doing the song Beautiful by Christina Aguilera, and we'll be doing it a Capella."
Listening to their voices I would have to admit that they were both really, really, really good. But Charlotte seemed shy, even though she had seemed more shy when she was talking and she seemed to just lit up whenever she was singing. I couldn't get why though because she for sure was really, really good.
"That's great guys." Mr. Blaine clapped his hands with us others. "And about this thing that we need to do either a Capella or with music on our phones or something I… I have tried to call up the pianist who used to be here while I was in the glee club that was here and before that too. And if I reach him then… then we might have a pianist, if not then I'll try to find another so we have one to comp!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." Martina spoke up. "Enough with the babble, babble. Can I and Esme go next?"
"The floor's yours." Mr. Blaine didn't seem annoyed that Martina had interrupted him and gestured towards the open choir room and I stood up and made sure I had the sleeves fully pulled down before I stepped out on the floor.
It wasn't that I was ashamed of the scars and where they came from, I just didn't want everyone to know at once- it would lead to an awkward silence and then awkward questions and I felt awkward enough in the company of Martina already so I didn't need all of the rest to be awkward as well.
We had found the song and made it a bit because of that- earlier I and Martina had been friends, maybe not known each other too well but we had always been able to talk to each other free like friends and now… it seemed like Martina could still do that while I just never knew what to say which made our relationship kind of complicated.
And even though the song was about a whole other situation, it was about a relationship that had gone… complicated so there wasn't really another song that could suit better for the moment- and as an extra plus we both liked it.
"That's awesome." Once again Mr. Blaine commented on the duet. "So… only two couples left, Sharon and Dakota and Benjamin and Lea- Marie, which one of you want to go next?" Mr. Blaine looked exited looking to Lea- Marie and Benjamin who glanced to each other and Benjamin seemed somewhat ashamed while Lea- Marie just looked as rude and as if she was the queen of the world as ever.
"We haven't got a duet Sir." Benjamin said at last. "Because we… well that's up to Lea- Marie to explain actually." Something somewhat angry had appeared in Mr. Blaine's expression while we all turned to Miss Hale and waited for her to answer as she first just glared to Benjamin.
"As I said… I wasn't going to do a duet with Horrid Heedie! I wouldn't want to, and I didn't need to." Mr. Blaine for sure was angry now but I could see he was trying to hide it- and I knew for a fact that if I was the teacher I could have lived with that they hadn't done the duet- but it was something else that Lea- Marie called him names.
"Okay… ehrm… Dakota and Sharon can you do yours and I'll try to come up with something." While Sharon and Dakota walked down I took up the fault in our stars from my bag and pretended to be checking something in it- I just wasn't ready to forgive Sharon yet or to even seem like I have for a second, but I could see in the corner off my eye that Sharon seemed kind of messed up and I could hear them singing and it for sure was very beautiful.
"So…" Mr. Blaine stood up. "I came up with an idea for this and Lea- Marie, if this would be just about you then it would have been okay but I don't think it's okay to put that on Benjamin as well, so I was wondering Benjamin, maybe you have something you could perform along with your sister?" Mady lit up.
"REALLY?" She shouted with the biggest smile ever. "I will get to sing?" Mr. Blaine nodded with an at least as big smile as hers but Benjamin seemed to hesitate about this idea. "Oh please Benny, pretty, pretty please. I wanna sing tomorrow, I wanna sing tomorrow. Please."
At first I didn't get what she meant, tomorrow was Friday and we didn't have glee club rehearsals on Friday, but so she started singing and I understood she meant the song called tomorrow. And even though Mady probably didn't have what to call the clearest voice or hit all of the right notes- the duet was nothing else but beautiful to me.
"Yay." Mr. Blaine clapped his hands and the two Heedie's high fived and then Benjamin lifted Mady up on his hip. "Great job." Mr. Blaine high fived with Mady too. "Lea- Marie, I'll come up with something else for you."
"I don't care what as long as I don't have to do it along with Horrid Heedie" Mady turned to Lea- Marie just as Benjamin had let her down onto the floor again.
"My brother is not horrid Heedie, he is not horrid. You are horrid!"
"Mady!" Benjamin scolded- although I didn't quite understand why- well, Mady needed to learn what was okay and not but Lea- Marie for sure was horrid every once in a while and she had blushed at what Mady said which from my point of view was just for the better- maybe it would take her down on earth for a bit.
But seeing Mady had given me an idea that I had had a few weeks ago but not been thinking about with everything else that had been going on, and at Friday night when I and my parents sat in the living room watching some boring movie I brought it up.
"I have been thinking about getting some… kind of job…" I had mum and dad's attention right away. "With everything else that have been going on I just feel like I want and need a… a new start I guess and maybe I could have one with starting to earn a bit of my own money I guess and so…" I silent to let my parents have a say in this.
"Well… Essie you know that… that if you need money for something then… then it's not a problem!" Dad stated and I nodded- I knew, I just wanted kind of a new start. "Well… what kind of job were you thinking about?"
"Maybe baby- sitter like... not for very small children but maybe… kindergarten- age- ish. Do you think it's a bad idea?"
"No, no, no." Dad stated. "I'm just surprised that's all. You know you wouldn't have to do this?"
"I know dad I just… I want to okay? I just want to get out somewhere and… just be and children have a way with making me happy and… yeah that's kind of it actually." Dad hesitated for a while, while mum stood up and came sitting down next to me and laid her arm around my shoulders.
"Well I think it sounds like a wonderful idea. And if you feel like you want to do it without feeling that you need to do it then I think it's lovely but Esme?" I nodded slightly while she stroke my arm. "You need to be careful okay, not to fall back where you have been." I nodded.
"I don't want to go back there mum. And I'm going to make sure I don't need to either"
Playlist
Sharon/ Dakota- Let it go- Idina Menzel
Charlotte/ Belle- Beautiful- Christina Aguilera
Esme/ Martina- Complicated- Avril Lavigne
Benjamin/ Mady- Tomorrow- Annie the musical