Two days into their journey, Equius managed to get the water system working, much to everyone's relief; it felt like forever since any of them had been able to take a shower. When it came to his turn, Gamzee had mixed feelings. He desperately wanted to feel clean again, but he wasn't looking forward to having to see himself.
River water hadn't done much in way of getting him clean. It got off the loose grime, but not what was caked under the stolen uniform he wore. Most of that had been cleaned off when he had been passed out due to blood loss; still, it felt as if it was there, and there was some black still lingering on his skin.
He held a towel in his hands, wondering if he could somehow cover the mirror embedded into the wall. He knew it wouldn't work, so instead he settled on closing his eyes as he stripped off his uniform, blindly dropping the pieces of fabric on the counter that held the sink. After he washed up, he wasn't going to wear the whole thing anymore. There wasn't a point.
He got into the shower, the hot water feeling like something new. Something he hadn't quite felt before. Though he was sure it wasn't meant to be grey when it ran down the drain. He guessed most of the grime had been from his hair, but he wouldn't have been surprised if he still had layers of it on his skin where he hadn't had wounds.
He did his best to avoid looking at himself. Instead, he watched the water swirling down the drain. In the gray, there were still purple and pink colored flecks and he could felt his stomach lurch unpleasantly. Now that he wasn't delusional and elated just to be free, the colors brought everything back. He leaned against the wall; he knew he'd have to scrub at his skin, his hair, he was going to have to face the damage.
It was odd his knees were still bruised. Apparently, his recovery from the cuts along his face hadn't given the bruises time to fully heal. Looking over his skin, he could see his bones. He'd never been able to do that before. He poked at his hipbone, surprised at its existence, then up to his ribs - those hurt when he poked them. No doubt they were still bruised as well, they had almost been crushed too many times not to be.
He avoided the still-slight scabs of his brands, preferring to forget their existence, but everything seemed to be healing. He didn't know if he should mentally thank them for the cuts along his cheeks; he was sure that was the only way he could have gotten any care for the injuries they gave him. He should probably thank the poor sap of a medtech that cared for him, he ended up dead for all the work he put into Gamzee. No doubt it was hours of work to clean up all the injuries he had.
He took a breath and quickly scrubbed himself down; the water would be recycled, and cleaned. He didn't have much time before the water turned off automatically, not that he wanted to spend more time than necessarily naked and vulnerable. He'd get the grime off, get clothes back on, and he could forget that there was a troll underneath them.
He looked at his claws. They'd grown back at least some of the way, and the tips were getting sharp again. Maybe that could solve at least one problem… He rested the tip of his index claw at the edge of the brand on his stomach, and prepared to cut it out.
"Gamzee?" He heard Karkat's voice, and a knock at the door. "Are you okay in there?"
Gamzee jumped back in the shower, his hands quickly gripping the wall, as if Karkat could see through the metal and everything else separating them. He tried to find his voice fast enough that it didn't seem suspicious. Instead he stared toward where the door was, his eyes wide. He damned himself for freezing. He wanted to react, but instead he was left with the noise of the door opening.
"You're not dead, right? Gamzee?" There was a pause, and his voice caught in his throat. He cast his eyes around the shower stall, quickly looking for anything to cover him up. He was sure Karkat was still speaking, but he was more concerned that his moirail would see him. "—Oh fuck."
Gamzee tried to grab on to the divider, but his hand slipped against the foggy surface, sliding along the door, exposing even more of himself. He reeled back, trying to hide himself from Karkat's eyes. He curled his arm around his stomach, trying to hide most of the marks, bruises, and bones.
"What the-" Karkat said slowly. His words cut off as his eyes moved over Gamzee's form. Gamzee tried to stay curled up and hidden. He didn't have enough arms or hands to cover everything. Karkat's eyes widened, and he just knew a shit storm had just brewed itself and was about to make landfall.
"It-it's okay," Gamzee babbled, forcing a smile. "I was just gonna get rid of them, you don't ever have to see them again!"
"Get rid of-" Karkat cut off his sentence with a yell of "No!" when he saw Gamzee's claw dig into skin again. He dived forward and wrenched Gamzee's wrist up, away from the injury. "Gamzee, no! Are you trying to make yourself bleed to death now?"
"No, this isn't me trying to kill myself." Gamzee tore his arm away from Karkat's grip. "I have to get them off me. I can't keep them there." His claws once again plunged into the wound he had started.
"Gamzee, stop!"
"I can't motherfucking stop. I have to get rid of them." Karkat swore he heard the purpleblooded troll's voice crack, like he was going to cry, or it could have been to laugh. Either way, it didn't make Karkat comfortable. Gamzee wasn't supposed to cry, ever, nor was he supposed to laugh right now. "I need to get them off of me."
Karkat needed all his strength to hold Gamzee's hands still. His eyes roved over the marks, taking them in. Muvetir. Hashaan. Ketesk. Jisituni-Rorut. It felt like someone had stabbed a spear into his gut and twisted. He couldn't pull Gamzee's hand away from his forearm, and the only part of the word he could make out was "ha".
"Gamzee, pull your hand away." Karkat tried to keep his voice steady. "We can figure out another way to get rid of them. Maybe once we restock we can cut into them, so that way they don't say anything anymore."
"No," Gamzee tugged his hand toward his arm. "I can't, I need to get them off me."
Karkat could feel the muscles in the taller troll's arm tense as his claws pushed into skin. He took a breath, trying to ignore the fact his moirail could legitimately kill himself right now. Karkat had to stay strong. He had to keep a level head. "Gamzee, come on, it's okay."
"DOES THIS LOOK MOTHERFUCKING OKAY? Does this look like it's even in the realm of okay."
Gamzee ripped his arms from Karkat's grasp, and Karkat could make out the final word Gamzee had branded onto his skin. As strong as Karkat was trying to be, he couldn't help wanting to back up and give Gamzee space. He knew that was stupid. His claws were growing back fast and if Karkat was too far away he might have to watch someone he pitied slit their throat. Gamzee gave a little laugh. It wasn't in humor, just darkness and a torrent of emotion that Karkat wasn't sure he had the thought-power to scale right now. Not with so much at hand, and at stake.
The taller troll shifted, and Karkat almost moved to stop him again; instead Gamzee turned and showed Karkat his back. He could see another word scrawled between his shoulderblades, and the faintest trace of two signs carved into the back of his neck, hidden by hair. A wave of nausea rolled over the smaller troll. Karkat reached forward and curled his hand around Gamzee's wrist. Not just to keep him from violence, but he felt like it was all he could do to offer support.
"What does the one on my back say? I couldn't see it and they didn't tell me."
Karkat swallowed.
"What does it MOTHERFUCKING SAY?"
Karkat was silent, then whispered "'Lonlun'."
Gamzee laughed, a hollow empty sort of laugh. One that twisted into Karkat's muscles and made his blood go cold. He was still clutching onto Gamzee's hands, trying to keep him from hurting himself more. "I guess I am." That was all the taller troll mumbled. Karkat knew the rest of that sentence, even if Gamzee didn't say it.
"You're not. Don't let—"
"Don't let what?" Gamzee hissed, his hands curling into Karkat's wrists. "Myself believe it? Oh motherfucker, you don't know what it's like to be me. OR HOW MOTHERFUCKING TRUE IT IS."
"Gamzee!" Karkat ignored the pain of the claws digging into him. "Come back to me."
"I'm still here, brother, just a little more enlightened."
"This isn't you, Gamzee. I refuse to believe it." Gamzee was silent. Karkat could tell he was looking over the wounds. No matter how hard he tried, Karkat couldn't stop himself from letting his eyes fall back to the words he could still see. Even if it felt like it had been months since they got on this ship, he could still see bruises. Karkat wanted to wince as he realized one was nearly a perfect handprint. It was faded, off-color, not as striking as a fresh bruise. But it was still there, lingering on his hip, another brand in and of itself. It had to have been a very wicked bruise to stick around this long.
Karkat moved closer, not too close lest the taller troll get nervous. He wanted to be there for him, to help him through this, he hated these stabs of pity he was getting every time his eyes followed the lines of a word. Any word on him just caused a flare of terrible consuming pity. Not only had he had to suffer those tortures but he'd always remember, he would and could never forget. Even if he lived to be a million sweeps, every scar and word would still be engraved into his skin.
"Gamzee, what happened?" Karkat took a breath and realized how that could sound. "What I mean is, how did you get these?" To calm him down, to fix this, he had to make sure Gamzee wasn't alone in the memories. If he was alone or felt alone, Gamzee tended to get stupid.
"I said I'd be good." The taller troll was mumbling at the wall, but Karkat could make it out enough that he wasn't going to ask him to repeat it. It wasn't so much about him hearing it, it was more about Gamzee getting it out in the open. "I said I'd be motherfucking good and all I want was to make them happy. Having them be proud. That I'd be theirs. I didn't know what else to motherfucking do. She nearly bashed my head in. I thought if I was good, if I tried to make them happy, I might be able to get out of there. Or outwait them, they'd let me out without chaining me up, and I could run. That was dumb of me to hope. I know if they let me out I'd be locked to one of them one way or another."
Gamzee's shoulders were shaking, Karkat didn't doubt he was crying. Karkat kind of wanted to cry; his sweet, dopey, idiot of a friend had never sounded this hollow. Or this empty. Karkat almost prefered Gamzee's anger to this. He'd never seen Gamzee be anything other than kind to everyone, no matter how rude or vicious another troll got Gamzee was there being his chipper, optimistic self. Karkat adored that trait as much as it annoyed him.
"She made me say it, say how I was theirs no motherfucking matter what. I said it, and I can't shake the feeling about its truth. I'm just motherfucking like him, just like her. Give me a couple sweeps, shit ,or maybe I should have just stayed. Been in my place and all. If I ain't with them, I become that monster."
Karkat reached a hand forward, and brushed along the sigils branded into the taller trolls neck. Suddenly, everything made a lot of sense. The two perpetrators, their stage, their victim, Gamzee's general fears. Everything clicked into place.
"It's not your place, no matter how much they wanted it to be." Karkat kept his voice low, trying to soothe Gamzee and quell his own anger. He didn't know the kind of monsters they had been up against, but now, he understood.
"I guess I should say that's how I gots the mosts of them. This one…" Gamzee lifted his arm, Karkat bit his lip trying to stall any reaction he might have. "… is different." He didn't elaborate beyond that. Karkat wasn't sure if he should press for information or not.
"Gamzee, this isn't the truth. It's their truth. You know that these—"
"Karkat!" The smaller troll wasn't sure if it was the tone of voice that shook him so deeply. "All of them are true. I am worthless, I couldn't fight them, I tried and gave up too easily. I'm a pet, seeing as I crawled around after them, they didn't even have to ask sometimes. I did offer myself to them, traded my body and dignity over it. I am their fucking pail, I'd go into that, but I think you get the drift. I was their fucktoy, and hell, they showed up here that'd be the first thing I'd try." Gamzee let out a whine, looking down at his arm. Karkat followed the line of sight and realized it was bleeding. "He does own me… Always and forever. At least they picked a stack of words that are the truth."
"Gamzee." Karkat tried to make his voice firm.
"No, just go. I won't kill myself. Won't even dig my claws into the scars. I just need… Ttme."
"Gamzee."
"Leave me alone." That hurt more than Karkat could ever imagine. "I'll come out soon. I just don't want you to look at me. Fuck, I don't want to look at myself"
Karkat backed off slowly, hesitantly. Going from his expression, Gamzee guessed he must be feeling worthless himself, and felt even worse for hurting him that way. "I'm holding you to that, okay? Do not come out of this room bleeding from anywhere. That's an order from your captain." He closed the door, but Gamzee could sense him lurking outside.
His teeth hadn't grown back fully yet. He sank the stubs into his hand as hard as he could. No bleeding, just like Karkat said. He wondered, if he was caught again and grew boring, how he'd taste to them. He'd probably still get them high, and that was a bit of a comfort. Not much of one, but it did make eating him a lot less appealing.
He sank to the floor and pulled his knees up to his chest. The water auto-shut off at some point, no one would have to worry about him wasting it. He held on to his knees, his finger tracing over the scars on both his arms. He wished he hadn't promised that he wouldn't try to remove the marks on him, because it would have been easy to dig his claws in and get rid of them. Make the marks his own instead of theirs. He bit onto his arm again, wishing for pain, or release, but instead just getting a dull throb. He closed his eyes, his body was shaking again and he could feel tears fighting towards his eyes but getting caught somewhere in his throat.
He didn't regret his freedom, he didn't want to be back, no matter how easy that would make things. He knew that all those wishes were because even though he had chosen one option, the other two still lingered. They could end his life still, until they were dead it could happen. Or he could take his own life, not have to deal with this pain, the constant reminders of it.
Maybe Karkat had been right to worry about him wanting to kill himself. It would be fairly simple, and the tub would catch most of the mess. They'd have some additional food supplies, even if it was sopor-encrusted. He shook his head. He didn't want to die. He just felt powerless right now. As if no matter what he did he would end up back or something worse would happen. He wanted to live, just it was getting difficult.
He wished he hadn't sent Karkat away, that he could curl up with him and somehow force the tears out of him and he'd feel better. Instead, he was curled up on the floor of a shower, wet, naked, and cold. Fingers tracing a word that made his intestines twist up and tear through him.
He pulled his hand from his arm and on the still-wet floor of the stall he traced the image that seemed burned into his mind's eye. The Sul redrawn, and he swore he could hear his ancestor's voice in his head. He'd been given his options, he'd made his choice. Even though they were probably light years away from each other he could feel his ancestor's claws picking over his corpse. A scavenger picking off what was left from his bones. PerhapsGamzee had been correct in naming the ghosts his skeletons.
A knock shot through the room. Gamzee lifted his head and looked towards the door. There was fear at first until he remembered where he was, and that he was only like this because of his own choice.
"Gamzee?" Karkat said from outside the door. "You okay? It's been about an hour."
Gamzee cocked his head towards the door, and decided that time was weird. It just ran away. He cleared his throat, and was about to respond, when he caught sight of the purple mark drawn on the bottom of the tub. He cursed under his breath. It would be unfair to wash it away, their water was precious. He looked at the brand on his arm, bleeding once more.
"Karkat…" His voice was rough. He didn't know what to do. He reached over and put his still bloody hand over the Sul, trying to make it go away. "Karkat." He tried again; even if he broke his promise he couldn't handle being alone right now. He didn't even realize he had hurt himself.
Karkat had bundled Gamzee back up in his clothes, and both were moving with the intent to find something to wrap up his arm with. Surprisingly, the smaller troll wasn't angry about the wound. It only took three seconds of Gamzee trying to explain what happened before Karkat helped him get dried off and wrapped his arm up in the sleeve of his shirt.
They were looking around the flight deck, looking for the onboard first aid kit. Karkat promised he'd keep it quiet, so the other trolls didn't notice, or ask any questions. Someday Gamzee would have to thank the hotblooded troll for being the best moirail in the known and unknown universe.
Kanaya looked up from her sewing, watching them move around. She clicked her tongue, and Karkat's grip on Gamzee's arm tightened; that usually meant she had something she wanted to say.
"I don't mean to offend, but those clothes really don't look comfortable. The cut's not right at-"
"Yes, okay, I'm wearing a fucking woman's clothes, if you really wanna know," Gamzee snapped. "I didn't have too many motherfucking options." Kanaya was right, though; the girl had been about the right size, but the shirt was tight around the shoulders and puckered slightly over the chest, and he had to keep checking to prevent the waistband from sliding down his hips.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend," Kanaya said soothingly. "I just wanted to say I can adjust them for you if you want. I know it's only a small thing, but it might help. I don't think you need any additional discomfort right now."
Karkat scowled. "Hey, how'd you like it if I started oiling your moirail's joints or something?"
"Well, unless you suddenly learned to sew, I'm fairly sure I'm the best person for the job. Isn't it also a moirail's duty to track down outside help if they can't solve a problem themselves?" Kanaya said icily.
"I guess. But aren't I supposed to ask you, not you just assume that this is going to be a thing? Assuming makes you look like a desperate fool."
"What has gotten into you Karkat? I swear you're more petulant than usual."
"I'm more moody? Forgive me, if this whole situation is the fucking dregs of shit the universe could have thrown at us. I'm hungrier than normal, because we're rationing our food so much, and all of you are so mind-numbingly annoying that I'm pretty much at the impasse where I hate myself for even making friends in the first place, and would rather curl up into a ball of rage and hate than deal with all of your presumptive bullshit."
"Guys, enough! Don't make me auspisticise," Gamzee snapped. "I probably do need better clothes, and it was real nice to offer." He chewed his lip with the remnants of his teeth and tugged at his shirt hem. He really didn't want to have to take them off.
"Come on," Karkat said softly. "We'll find something to wrap you up in so you can give them to her." Karkat slowly moved his fingers towards Gamzee's hand. The taller troll quickly took it, letting himself be guided away. "I can also wrap up your arm then, okay? I'll try to make sure no one bothers you while it's happening."
"You're sweeter than sugar."
"You're a hopeless romantic and a douchebag." Karkat's gaze settled on Equius. "Hey, Zahhak! You still owe Gamzee, start paying your debt by lending us a couple of towels. Clean ones."
"Why would he need towels?"
"Just hand them over, you'll get them back pretty soon."
"The… Makara could always just forgo any type of cover while his clothes are being fixed. It shouldn't be an issue."
"Just hand them over." Karkat held out his hand. "Leader's orders."
"You're an insufferable excuse for a leader Vantas." Equius decaptchalogued a few towels, and placed them into Karkat's hand. "I do expect them back."
"You'll get them back. I don't particularly feel like mopping up puddles of sweat because you're missing two or three towels. I have more important things to do with my time than running around after you to clean up your messes." Karkat kept rambling, hoping the trolls in the room would tune him out and stop paying attention while he grabbed the first aid kit, and then Gamzee and he could leave the room, and he'd bring Kanaya the clothes.
"Why are you grabbing the first aid kit? Did you get hurt already, Karkat?" Vriska asked from her seat at the controls. "Did Gamzee turn on you?"
"Vriska, go see if trolls can survive the decompression and coldness of space."
"That wasn't as snappy as normal, what happened? Are you seriously hurt?"
"I'm fucking fantastic. Wonderful even, nothing is wrong with me, no cuts, no bruises, except that one I got on my calf when we were leaving the Sufferer caves. No splinters, no dizziness, nothing is wrong with me. Now that that awkward line of questions is over we'll be leaving."
"Don't run off too far, I require Gamzee's measurements."
Gamzee sighed. "Is that motherfucking really motherfucking necessary?"
"Yes, if you want your clothes to fit correctly," Kanaya told him firmly. "Karkat, would it help if you did this part? I'm sure you're capable of working a tape measure."
Karkat looked at Gamzee, waiting for a response. Gamzee sighed, then shrugged. It was better than Kanaya, but really he didn't want to have to have anyone wrap tape measure around him. He didn't want to really know how much he had changed, nor did he want anyone to look at the scars. Sure, Karkat had seen them, but this wasn't accidental.
"Hand it over, Kanaya." Karkat held out his hand. "We'll go over there, I'll write them down for you."
"Can't you just say them so it doesn't have to take too long?" Gamzee gave Karkat a slight nod.
"Fine. God, you're obnoxiously pushy."
Karkat took the tape measure and, scowling but working carefully so as not to upset Gamzee further, took the measurements Kanaya deemed necessary. As he looped the tape around Gamzee's waist, he winced; Gamzee was never exactly fat, sopor slime not being very digestible, but now he was skeletal.
The tape caught on Gamzee's shirt as he pulled it away, rucking up the hem. Eridan's eyes widened as he caught sight of the brand on Gamzee's stomach; "ketesk". Wisely, he left the room before he found himself tempted to say anything. Gamzee yanked his shirt down and glared at the onlookers, daring them to speak. Karkat mumbled an apology. He had been trying to keep the clothes right where they were, apparently the universe couldn't even grant him that small little assistance. Gamzee shook his head. Karkat took it as "it couldn't be prevented, so it's okay". At least that's what he hoped his internal Gamzee's-odd-gestures-dictionary would translate it too.
"Thank you, Karkat," Kanaya said, her voice slightly terse. "Now, I'll need the clothes."
"No, really?" Karkat hissed under his breath.
"What was that?"
"Come on, I'll form a towel wall for you." Karkat spoke up a little louder and did his best to ignore Kanaya completely. Karkat lifted up the towel, holding it as high as he could so Gamzee could kick off the clothes. All of it was done with surprising speed. Soon enough there was a bundle of clothes on the floor and Gamzee was wrapped up in towels. Karkat handed Kanaya the ball of clothes, and it seemed his turn to receive the cold shoulder. He shrugged and walked back over to Gamzee, who seemed content to curl up in the corner with one towel wrapped around his shoulders, another covering his legs, and the final one over his head and horns like a stupid veil without horn holes.
"Do you—"
"Gamzee," Kanaya spoke over Karkat. "This isn't meant to offend. But I do have two things I would like to ask."
"What, sunnysis?"
"The first is if you might like me to remove this other sigil. I wouldn't presume to replace it with anything, just remove it. The second is more of a concern I have. I notice you have lost quite a bit of weight. And while I'm not concerned if I can alter the clothes, I'm more concerned about your health—"
"To answer the first, remove it. I don't care, the troll it came from is dead anyway. Ain't like she can complain about her sigil being removed. And that second one isn't a question, it was motherfucking rambling."
"Well, there was a question there, which is do you think you might make it to our destination? You seem starved as it is."
"Probably, I don't know. Wouldn't gain much motherfucking weight anyway right now. I still don't have any of my teeth being real."
"Right, yes, I hadn't forgotten that detail. I was merely concerned. Since yo—"
"Don't you got another troll to be concerned for?"
Karkat smirked and nodded at Gamzee. "Do you want to go somewhere else while I bandage up your arm?"
"Might as well stay, the more I move the more I risk. Know what I motherfucking mean? I don't really feel like broadcasting more than I have to."
"Got it. Can I have your arm?" Gamzee shifted underneath the towels and hesitated a moment before offering it up to Karkat. The smaller troll didn't flinch or even blink twice at the word this time. Karkat pulled out bandages and antiseptic.
Gamzee had nearly perfectly traced the word on his arm, making it nearly impossible to avoid looking at. Gamzee's ragged claws couldn't do it as precisely as the knife that was used, but even the original scar was shaky, legible but scratchy. Karkat tried not to look at the word more than necessary as he cleaned off, though it struck him suddenly; having received a gift from the taller troll (a new set of caste limited sickles on his 6th wriggling day) he was familiar enough with Gamzee's handwriting to recognise it. Gamzee had carved the word himself onto his arm.
When they were alone, Karkat would ask about it. Not right now, with at least Kanaya within earshot. Vriska was sitting at the ship's controls, and Equius was messing around with some electronics that Karkat wasn't even going to begin to figure.
"Karkat?"
"Yeah?" Karkat said dabbing off the cleaner with one of the other cloths.
"Can you help me with something?"
"No, I'm afraid that being your moirail means I no longer help you with anything." Karkat sighed. "Of course I can fucking help you with something, what else would I do?"
"Well, you see, when I first met the Empress… to make a long story short she pierced my tongue. So she could leash me up like an animal. My hands are too shaky, and I can't get a good grip on it to pull it out. Could you—"
"Yes."
Karkat removed his hand from Gamzee's arm, leaving the cloth covering the brand; he'd rather have it breathe, but the other trolls in the room were too close. Gamzee opened his mouth, and Karkat didn't wince as he looked at the budding teeth pressing past Gamzee's gums. The taller troll stuck out his tongue and Karkat reached out, fumbling with the tiny balls keeping the bar in his mouth. He had to wipe his fingers on his pants to keep them dry enough to get a grip.
There were a few things that were suspicious, Vriska decided. Karkat's insistence on towels, Gamzee's huddled frame in the corner, and the fact a first aid kit had to be grabbed, but she could overlook that. It wasn't hers to know. It was when Gamzee opened his mouth and Karkat stuck his fingers in she had to look, curiosity nagging her terribly.
She could see the glint of metal, and understood that at some point Gamzee had gotten a barbell through his tongue. She didn't extend a guess as to why, or when. She could vaguely guess, and didn't want much more than that. She looked over the two trolls, and noticed a splotchy purple and white cloth hanging on Gamzee's arm. It wasn't Karkat that had been hurt. How Gamzee managed to get himself injured was a good question, she glanced around the room quickly to see if anyone had noticed her.
Alone in noticing it was the taller troll who was hurt, she was half tempted to ask what happened, but she doubted that would turn out well. Gamzee's arm tensed as Karkat pulled on the jewelry through his tongue. The cloth shifted and she could see what had happened. The whole cut wasn't new, she could see that it had been reopened. Part of the word was scarred and other part cut. She swallowed as she realized it was a word, and realized what the word was. She squirmed guiltily, remembering the time she'd used her powers to force Tavros into an unwanted kiss. He'd forgiven her, though right now she had difficulty understanding why. Much as she missed Spidermom, she was glad that rockslide had happened, and thus Vriska had no longer been required to control victims for her, before she'd got very far into puberty, and that she'd entered a steadying ashen triad with two more ethical trolls soon after; if she'd had any real interest at the time, who knew what she might have done before she knew better?
She cleared her throat, watching as Karkat held the jewelry in his fingers like it was the biggest success of his life. Gamzee gave him a little smile and both of them were talking again, too low for her to hear the words. She swallowed, stepping forward, watching Gamzee move his tongue around, as if it had finally been freed. She felt as if she should apologise. In another life, she could have turned out just as twisted. Even if Gamzee could be pretty spineless and annoying to talk to, that didn't mean she wanted to see her friend dead.
"Hey, uh, Gamzee? I know we didn't talk much, you were more Tavros' friend than mine, but I wanted to say I am really, really sorry this happened. And I'm sorry we didn't get you out sooner."
Gamzee nodded cautiously, wondering what she was planning. No way would Vriska just suddenly be nice, particularly over something like this. He stared at her for a moment, wondering what she was going to do next. He could feel his muscles shifting, getting ready to defend himself. In towels or not, he wasn't going to take any shit; he'd done plenty of that already.
"I mean it, what happened to you is messed up… I can't imagine…" Vriska wanted to sigh, she wasn't that good at doing things like this. The point was everyone should be proud that she tried. She took a breath and decided to try to rephrase herself. "Well, maybe it'll help if you look at it a different way," she said in her best attempt at a kindly tone. "When you're healed up all the way, your scars are gonna be fucking hardcore! Almost as cool as mine, even." She grinned and gave him a double thumbs-up.
Gamzee leapt, and there was a horrible tearing noise followed by a scream, a splatter, and the sound of metal hitting flesh. The others watched in horror as Gamzee raised Vriska's now-detached robotic arm and slammed it against her side once more. He wondered if it would break her ribs or the arm first, and for some reason he couldn't shake how that thought didn't bother him.
"I can give you some new wonderful scars. THEY'LL BE PRETTY MOTHERFUCKING HARDCORE. Don't you think?" Vriska curled away from the blows, trying to pull herself away enough to defend herself, but in her attempts to scoot over she instead found herself running into his leg, and was unable to move it.
"Gam-…zee…" she choked out as her own arm came crashing down on her stomach. She moved her working arm and curled it around his calf. If she had been expecting this fight, it would have gone a lot smoother, and she wouldn't be curled up on the floor trying to make it stop. She'd be kicking the shit out of him for trying to hurt her.
"Gamzee? Gamzee, no!"
Gamzee stopped as Tavros shouted. He looked up, tense and poised to run, and made eye contact. Tavros scurried forward and reached out, then froze, not sure if grabbing Gamzee's hand would make things better or worse.
They stood there for a moment, Tavros' hand hovering just above Gamzee's. The purpleblood dropped his hand and the robotic arm that was in it. He sighed, shaking his head, trying to keep out the cloudy thoughts of rage that seemed stuck in a near-constant hum.
"What the fuck, Gamzee?!" Vriska hissed, regaining her composure and trying to stand, despite her head being fuzzing.
"Just motherfucking vanish your words." Gamzee hissed, kicking the arm towards Vriska's feet. "I don't want to be hearing nothing from you. From any of you. Best to be leaving it where it is."
Kanaya stared at Vriska even as she helped her up. "What in the name of the Mother Grub did you say to him?"
"I was only trying to help!" Vriska scowled and snapped "Bad clown. Very bad clown." Gamzee drew a finger across his throat meaningfully and stalked off. Karkat quickly followed, slightly wide eyed.
Terezi hid a smile. "You know, maybe if you were me having your delicious cherry shoes in your mouth would suck less."
"Fuck you."
A/N: Ketesk (n.) pail. pl. keteskij
Hashaan (n.) a friendly or known beast. pl. Hashannij
Lonlun (adj) worthless
Muvetir (n.) 1. one who offers 2. derogatory: slut (slang)
Jisituni-Rorut: (Obsolete) see Jisituni and Rorut
Jisituni (v.) to force someone into a one sided kismesissitude.
Rorut (n.) toy, puppet, or trinket. pl. Rorutij