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HOW TO WRITE FANFICTION

Chappie numero 14: Wake me up when I'm the seme

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While everyone was out and about, searching for the "that son of a fucking good writer/ satan himself," Anko positioned herself in the almost empty rec hall, yawning. Beside her was Sakura, her 'gal pal' of the moment, united in the fact that they both adored Mike/Jiraiya's yaoi fantasia galore.

She clicked through with a bored look on her face until she came across something new.

"Hey… look, a new story! Weird though, everyone's out and there no one here but you and me."

Blink blink?

And then a second later.

"…oh my galoshes, it's Mike! "

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164. Konoha Harem Fantasia by Mike reviews

Naru X Sasu X Gaa X Ita X Shika X Kaka X Iru X Neji… come and get some. More crack couples included inside.

Fiction rated: MA –English- Romance/Adult –Chapters 2- Words: 150 Reviews: 17

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What the fuggly?

"…This is weird. Jiraiya can't be sitting somewhere and typing up a story… everyone's out there looking for him. "

"…does that mean…Jiraiya's not Mike? "

The girls stared blankly at each other.

"…oh what the hell, LET'S ENJOY!! "

Both girls clicked the story like mad-.

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Konoha Harem Fantasia by Mike

(Chapter two)

Kakashi stretched out on the couch, his hand thrust upon his face. It had been a tiring day, and all he wanted was to rest—

"…Kakashi? "

He immediately removed his hand from his eyes.

"Is it a bad time? You look tired..."

There was a sight he'd never miss, even if he was tired and overwrought—Iruka just out of the showers, looking pretty innocent except for that loosely tied towel hitched on his bare body. He approached Kakashi with lines of concern creasing up his forehead—then he stopped mid step, looking abashed.

"Well…I…I'll go change an…"

"No. Come here. "

Kakashi raised himself from the couch and reached out for Iruka, a meaningful smile playing around his lips. Droplets of water soaked the carpet with every step Iruka took, but no one cared about that, not when he had his hair down and face slightly turned sideways, a ghost of a blush creeping up his face. He looked perfect.

"…can you make my day? "

"…what?"

Kakashi did not wait for an answer. He roughly pushed his roommate on the couch, in the exact spot he himself had been laying seconds before. Iruka didn't resist, but merely looked up into Kakashi's eyes, his hands unmoving even though the towel was unraveling. In fact, his hands could not be moved; they were pinned down by Kakashi's slightly larger ones. Another leg shifted up and kneeled, the couch creaking to accomodate the newcomer.

"Please. Make my day. "

Reviews:

AnkoDango: OH PURE PURE GENIUS, you brilliant brilliant writer!

PinkCutezBlossom: Bring on the YAOI!! YEAH! Simply can't believe I'm salivating over a love story of my teachers…!!

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"Ooohy… this is such yaoi goodness… "

Sakura drooled happily. Anko confirmed by elatedly waltzing around the room propping a broom against her bosom that she pretended was Kakashi. That fanfiction was surely giving her ideas..........about a threesome!

"But this is odd… "

Sakura mumured, scratching her bubblegum pink hair.

"We confiscated that laptop from Jiraiya…and all the rest of the computers are here! "

The girls blinked at each other.

"…Mike isn't Jiraiya!! "

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(somewhere in Konoha…lol)

Tap tap tap

Meanwhile, Kakashi and Jiraiya had finally escaped the throngs of hyperactive homicidal teams and were heading for the main gates.

"…You really had better give me the promised the copy of the Icha Icha Paralympics…this whole running business is giving me a headache. "

"As soon as we reach the pearly gates, I promise! "

"Good g…hey! "

But as they were hacking through the bushes, a figure suddenly popped out from nowhere in front of them with his back turned.

With the last thread of his instant reflex, Kakashi grabbed Jiraiya and threw—yes, actually threw—him up the trees—all 100kg of him (his hair weighs 10kg)—so that he was out of sight. He positioned himself in a casual stroll so that whoever that was in front of him would think he had been taking a walk alone. Smart move.

But that person turned out to be…

"Who's there?!! I will spray—I will spray!! "

Iruka madly brandished the pepper spray straight into the face of the man behind him, the giant red can making srghshhhh noises as its owner shook it. He took it down immediately though when he saw who it was.

"…...oh. Kakashi. "

"Well… Iruka. "

How awkward.

The last time they uttered each other's name like that was in Mike's fanfiction, where they were doing what a husband and a wife does in cocktail hours—except that in this case, the wife was a man. And colleagues walking around naked, too, adding to the whole weirdness.

Kakashi desperately motioned with his right feet to Jiraiya up in the trees—run now, fucking run before he sprays you and cut your manliness off—and scratched his head awkwardly.

Why couldn't he have met some other random person? Why Iruka?

"I assume you're on the search for…Mike? "

"…yes. Jiraiya, you mean. "

"Mm. "

The silence stretched on. Endlessly.

Kakashi literally felt the ache to move on out of this place.

"Well, ah… I'll be going now. "

"Huh? …oh yes. Yes. "

"Good luck on the search…"

"Yes….yes. "

They promptly starting walking away as if a spring was attached to their feet, but five steps into the walk Iruka turned back and spoke darkly, his demeanor rather grim.

"There is one thing you know, that I cannot truly forgive Jiraiya for. "

Kakashi blinked, alarmed that Iruka should even mention what he was pissed at. Actually, he was amazed Iruka still had the guts to talk to him after reading that…thing.

He asked casually:

"…the whole pairing up with me thing? "

"No. "

Hm. Surprising. Iruka was normally so prim and chaste that Kakashi often wondered if he still was a virgin. Well he hasn't hit forty yet thank god.

"Then what is it? "

Kakashi was taken aback.

He assumed the prudent Iruka was pissed as hell about being paired up with the third supposedly most pervert man in Konoha after Jiraiya and Naruto (Naruto being the sole underage person in the list)…but he was angry about something else? What could it be?

The whole painfully descriptive blowjob portrayal?

"I cannot believe…."

Iruka began.

Kakashi gave his whole undivided attention, despite himself. What could Iruka possibly be pissed at other than that? But again, he was so prudent that it wasn't surprising that there might be some other thing.

"You cannot believe what?"

There drops the bomb.

"…that I wasn't the lead. "

Uh…..what?

"HA! "

From somewhere above rang Jiraiya's giant snort of laughter—he had meant to go far, but could not help himself from butting in and eavesdropping on this wonderful conversation.

Iruka fumed when he spotted the hermit up on the tree in a spasm of hysterics. He started to sprint up the tree but he was held back by the incredulous and flabbergasted Kakashi, who was spluttering:

"….y…lead…Iruka? Lead? With me?! "

Iruka indignantly turned back and shouted:

"Well why not?! Every stupid fanfiction writer has me down as the uke when they pair you up with me…"

"THERE ARE MORE…?!! "

"…and why can't I be the seme for once? Huh? What do 'you' have, Kakashi, that makes you so masculine, so damn manly that you 'always' get to be on the top and me on the botto…"

"You're… SUPPOSED to be THE PRUDENT ONE!! DAMN YOU!! "

Kakashi jumped away from Iruka's wrath and hollered back, his mask almost falling off from his sudden movement. Spotting this, Iruka suddenly calmed down and asked:

"Also, one more thing. Are you really as good looking inside there as all the writers claim you are? Because I really p…"

Kakashi's reaction?

"GYAH!—even the Icha Icha isn't worth this!!! "

He raised his leg and kicked the tree frantically. Jiraiya fell like a pile of bricks, still on the throes of his hysterics, partially marred by the odd words spurting out of his mouth:

"Y…you hehehehe, betrayed, hahahah, me—Kakashi! Hihihihihi—IRUKA LOVES YOUuuu OH LA DI DAH! ~living la vida loca!! "

"Take him away, he's Mike. "

Hehe.

(bloodiedsug's words on HTWFF-

Well this load of crack is back. Lol.

(sorry about the LATE LATE update…but I did update, right? …right? Lol)

And it's going down a creaky path. Good bye to Iruka's chastity—…belt! (just jk lol)

PS: and the mystery continues~ who the hell is Mike?!!

Bear with me)