Chapter 14: Warden Stroud
She had heard stories about the Wardens all her life, tales of brave men and women that dedicated their lives to protect all of Thedas from the threat of darkspawn, and had sworn to do whatever it took to stop the Blight. She had created for herself a certain image of them, and she remembered clearly how King Alistair had not fit into her perceptions at all. Even though he looked like a fairy tale knight in shining armor, the moment anyone met him they realized he was anything but that. Yes, he was a formidable warrior, but his demeanor was so casual and informal that all the noble aspects would crumble in one single chuckle from the man. She had enjoyed that about him when she met him, and she even found him endearing and sweet, but she could never bring herself to associate him with the mighty image of the Grey Wardens.
Blackwall was closest to that idealized vision for her, although there was something about him that did not quite fit the entire description. At times, he seemed too defeated in spirit, as if he didn't value his life outside of the Wardens. It was almost as though he had no other purpose in life, and was determined to prove himself worthy over and over again. Deep down, he lacked the confidence that he clearly tried to reflect with his words. Stroud, on the other, seemed to have been born of the very stories she had heard as a child. Tall and muscular, deep black hair, and a carefully trimmed mustache. Full Heavy Armor with the Grey Warden's sigil on his chest. Proud and honorable... and sneaky, as she could not have predicted.
Hawke had informed her his friend was inside the cave, so naturally she had entered without taking any precautions. But now she was on her side, trying not to make any sudden movements, with a Grey Warden's sword pointed just a foot shy of her back. Some tale that would be, the powerful Inquisitor killed by a potential ally.
-It's just us. I brought the Inquisitor.
Thank the Maker for Hawke. Stroud looked down at her and lowered his sword. Then he bowed and spoke with a thick Orlesian accent.
-My name is Stroud, and I am at your service, Inquisitor.
She nodded, grateful that he trusted her, or more likely, Hawke.
-I'll take all the help I can get. I know the Wardens have troubles of their own. I wonder, though, might those troubles have anything to do with Corypheus?- She was voicing her thoughts to both men, watching Hawke and Stroud alike.
The Warden took a deep breath and, watching the floor, began to relate everything he knew.
oOo
They arrived back at Caer Bronach again for the night. She had scribbled down a few notes while she talked with Stroud earlier. Those ones were not to send to Skyhold; it would be useless to do so now since they were going to head back to the fortress the morning after tomorrow and, considering two days wouldn't change things and her advisors could gain nothing in that time, she didn't think it wise to risk a raven's health with a flight to Skyhold without good reason. Finishing that, she talked to Charter about the guard shifts and their rotations. The area was more secure now than it had been when they arrived, but she wanted to make sure it would remain that way once she was out of the way. She also requested a full report on shifts and basic movements, as well as the discoveries they'd made in the tunnels and the plans they had for them, in order to deliver these to Cullen and Leliana respectively once they were back home. When she took care of those tasks, she finally joined Stroud by the fire.
A few feet away, Hawke and Cassandra were talking more amicably than she would have expected, probably smoothing over the rough edges their old encounters had left them with in order to begin their newfound alliance on the right foot. Vivienne was nowhere to be seen, supposedly already in her tent, not taking too much enjoyment in the soldiers' company. Sera was, of course, in the highest room with the spies in charge of the ravens, probably playing cards and drinking whatever they had left after her last visit.
The moment she came into his sight, Stroud stood up and bowed slightly.
-Inquisitor.
She motioned him to sit again, and did the same once he heeded her request.
-Please, Stroud, you don't have to be so formal.- She extended her hand to him with a smile.- Here, I'm Evelyn Trevelyan. It's a pleasure to meet you.
The Warden chuckled and took her hand, turning it slightly until her palm was facing downward, and kissed it, his lips merely brushing her skin. She was impressed with his refinement. Being the daughter of a noble, she had suffered far too many slobbery kisses to her hand to the point she almost hated the gesture, but Stroud appeared to be exquisitely educated, or had enough experienced with nobility to put most other nobles to shame with a simple gesture. As it was tradition, she bowed her head shortly and smiled at him.
The apparent calm in his features lasted for merely a few seconds longer before an almost literal cloud descended upon his face, darkening his brown eyes. She could only imagine the weight Stroud was bearing on his shoulders. He was a Senior Warden, and as such he should be instructing the young recruits on the ups and downs of their path. Instead, he was being hunted by his superiors and peers (he had not been surprised when she told him about the Wardens they had encountered on the road) and had to watch as all other Wardens fell for the lowest and vilest trick Corypheus could play on them: The false Calling. All the Wardens in Thedas were hearing it, and Stroud was, too. She realized then that Blackwall probably was, as well. And per Warden tradition, they were saying their goodbyes and heading toward Orzammar en masse to die in battle honorably and as their code dictated: In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice.
She recalled the famous words to mind. The code of the Wardens, their oath… Their doom, as it seemed.
A question she had not had the chance to ask before suddenly flooded back to her memory as the Warden's motto still echoed in her brain and, albeit doubtful, she turned to him. He looked extremely tired, and the pain in his eyes was almost infectious. She decided her curiosity was not worth bringing him more pain, and looked away awkwardly.
-If I can help you with anything, your Worship, please don't feel obligated to restrain yourself out of fear of hurting my feelings.
She was not a person prone to stuttering, but the fact that Stroud had hit the target right in the bullseye was so surprising that for a second she struggled to find the proper words. Eventually, she managed to form a coherent sentence.
-I was wondering how you knew the Calling wasn't genuine.- For some reason she felt like she was prying, as though she was reading someone's diary or eavesdropping on a conversation she should not hear. Honestly, it was as if even the asking itself was too personal for someone she'd just met.
Stroud sighed and shook his head.
-At first, I could not tell for sure. I was certain my time had come.- When she frowned in confusion, he clarified, -The Order would probably kill me for revealing this, but I know you will keep this information to yourself and reveal it only if it's necessary… From the moment we survive the Joining, a Warden is left with a terminal condition. It is not an exact period, more or less thirty years before the Taint claims us and we begin to hear the Calling. When I first heard it, I thought my time had come.- He cast a glance her way then. -I am, after all, a senior Warden and I know my days are coming to a close. I even travelled to Orzammar to meet my end, but due to my need for secrecy, I uncovered rumors of the massive Warden exodus to the Deep Roads and knew something had gone wrong. People talked about young Wardens arriving with heavy hearts to meet their fate, and I knew that was impossible. That was when I realized Corypheus must have had something to do with it.
A thick silence fell between them after he had finished, only the sounds of the still awake soldiers disturbing it. She did not want to ask, but she needed to know.
-So… your Calling could be real?
Stroud nodded solemnly.
-There is no way of telling the two apart, I fear, but in my case it may as well be real. Still, I want to do what I can to help the others before I draw my last breath.- He looked at her and took her hand gently. -And for that opportunity, I will be forever in your debt, my lady.
-Please, don't say that,- she tightened her grip around his hand before he released it, trying to inject confidence into her voice.- The Inquisition is the one indebted to you. You are risking so much by helping us.- She smiled at him then. -You are a noble man, Stroud. I'm grateful that you are on our side.
-Thank you, your Worship.
She frowned, scrunching her nose at the honorific.
-You're not exactly improving in the "drop the formalities" department, Warden Stroud.
The Warden laughed sincerely at that.
-Forgive me, Lady Trevelyan. Old habits die hard, and in Orlais, to cast them aside can result in dangerous consequences.
-Now that I can believe.- She filled two cups and handled one to the Warden. -To dangerous consequences.
Clinking her cup in a toast, he replied,
To unexpected alliances.
oOo
The journey back to Skyhold turned out to be better than she expected. Hawke and Sera had truly bonded, her mischievous nature delighting the mage and his sarcastic humor making her laugh almost constantly, turning them into perfect accomplices, to Vivienne's dismay. It turned out Hawke wasn't particularly a fan of the type of noble that Madame de Fer was part of, so they enjoyed riling her up, and this infuriated her. The Inquisitor of course had to intervene from time to time to even things up, but other than that, the rest of them remained content in their roles as the audience, not drawing attention to themselves. After a particularly irritating joke, nevertheless, she had to ask the tricksters to hold hands in order to give the enchantress a break. It worked beautifully, and after half an hour without another incident, she began to wonder how much she would pay for it later that night.
She was not wrong. The next morning, they woke up to find their bootlaces tied together, knickers mislaid, and saddles turned front to back. Despite the furious demands Vivienne had voiced, she barely chastised them for their jokes. She knew hard times were ahead, and she didn't know when it would be that they would have another opportunity to laugh so sincerely and fervently again. She just did not have the heart to blame them for it.
Once in Skyhold, the group scattered to their usual hangouts, some looking for rest, others food, and most of them just a warm bath. She left Stroud in the hands of a soldier who offered to take him to a guest room; she was just as surprised as Stroud was to find out they actually had a guest room. If she wouldn't have known better, she would have said she had been out for a month, due to observing the changes Skyhold had experienced in the short week she was gone. The main hall had new tables and chairs in every place the scaffolds left free. Most of the work on the ceiling was done, and half of the rear windows were completely restored. The weeds, wooden beams, broken furniture, and rugs remnants were gone, the new braziers installed and the old chandelier repaired and hanging from the main beam. There were even a couple of copper statues that only the Maker knew where they had come from, surrounding a brand new throne, a large chair with six impressive spikes pointing out in different directions and the sigil of the Inquisition on its back. The statues were of her homeland, two Free Marches birds of prey with large beaks pointing straight to the dais.
But what shocked her the most was when she went to her quarters. Up until that point, she had used the bedroom only because Josephine had reserved that part of the keep especially for her, but it was far too big for the small bed and simple desk, but now it was another place entirely. It was evident that Josephine's custom furniture orders had arrived while she was gone, and they had dedicated that time to decorating the entire room. Everything was perfectly positioned, and it had all been chosen with an exquisite attention to detail. It was the most delicate and beautiful decor she had seen, and while it was luxurious, it was evident that Josephine had her own tastes in mind when she had designed it. Nothing was too much; every piece of the decoration and furniture reflected the exact amount of position and power without being too over the top. Well, perhaps maybe the four post bed was a little too much, but considering how comfortable it looked she was hardly the one who was going to complain. The drapes were a beautiful combination of intense purple and soft ivory, and the silken sheets had a delightful pattern that matched perfectly with the rest of the color arrangements. A nice, cozy resting area had been installed in front of the chimney with a study set and a complete library for her own use, surrounded by two balcony exits. But what she adored the most was the little private area set behind a series of wooden screens, where a huge porcelain tub engraved with magic runes to heat and chill the water had already been filled and was waiting for her next to a series of oils and fragrances of her favorite scents.
The Inquisitor spent the next hour taking a well deserved bath and pampering herself as much as she could before finally changing into her usual informal clothes and going out to the courtyard.
She could not fool herself by thinking she was heading anywhere else besides Cullen's office. Though more relaxed since she sent her message, his current state still worried her, and if not for the fact that after such a journey a bath was almost paramount, she would had gone to him the moment she put a single foot inside the keep.
When she went up the battlements, she was surprised to find his door closed and a guard in front of it. She was about to greet her before entering his office when the woman saluted her.
-Inquisitor! Commander Cullen requested not to be disturbed under any circumstances until further notice.- Evelyn looked at the guard with her brow furrowed as if not comprehending. When she did not look back nor offer a reply, the woman began to fidget.- Inquisitor?- she said at last, watching her.
She nodded, mainly to prove that she had heard, and understood what the other told her, but her mind was frantic at this point. Cullen never closed his door or refused to see anyone, not even the day when he had tried to resign. This could not be good… Was he in pain? If that was the case, all the more reason for her to walk in and help him!
But she couldn't, not now; there was no way she could ask the guard to stand down without all Skyhold finding out, and even if she was willing to let the people believe she was a tyrant in order to help him, she was not willing to make him look weak. She watched the sun begin to descend on the horizon. In an hour, the soldiers would be called to have their dinner, and she could wait until then to come to him. The door was probably locked, but that had never been a problem for her. Besides, she could use that time to gather some things she suspected she might need.
As she was walking back down the stairs, she found Cole sitting on the edge of the battlements wall, a worried face looking in the direction of Cullen's office.
-Hurts, burns and sings. It calls him over and over. He tried to shut it out, but the song was inside. Aching. Biting. The lyrium taunts him, mocks his restraint, laughs at his weaknesses.- He looked at her, conflicted. -He doesn't let me help him, but he is afraid. He needs help.
Her heart ached from listening to Cole recount Cullen's suffering.
-I know Cole, I'll help him. As soon as I can. I promise.
Cole looked at her deeply in her eyes. Was he reading her? Then he relaxed and smiled softly. A black cloud surrounded him in a second, and by the time it faded away, so had Cole.