Chapter 13
He smiled, kissing me again, and for the first time I returned his kiss, understanding where the feelings inside of me were coming from. The giddiness returned, and I felt as if I were floating outside myself, yet still experiencing the joy of that simple contact. The kiss deepened, and instinctively I moved closer, my fingers splaying out against his bare chest as our tongues danced together. His hands weaved themselves through my hair, then smoothed down my back, as if he could hardly believe I was there, in his arms. I found myself being pulled into his lap, my bottom pressing against the muscular hardness of his thighs. A liquid warmth began to grow inside of me, fueled from within as I tasted my own heat.
I felt a coolness across my shoulders, and then the scorching warmth of Joe's lips against my neck, as his fingers caressed the upper part of my arms. In the back of my mind, I understood that he had pushed aside the edges of the bathrobe I wore and fear set in.
"Joe… please…"
"Mmmm… Jun..."
"No… Joe… stop…"
He pulled his head away slowly, his eyes searching mine. He must have seen the panic reflected in my eyes, because he wasn't angry or disappointed, as I had expected.
"You're trembling…" He traced a gentle finger along the line of my jaw.
"I'm… I've never…"
"You haven't been with a man before?"
"No." I admitted, my face burning bright red. "I'm sorry…"
"Don't be sorry." he tipped my face back up to his, pressing a light kiss onto the tip of my nose.
"It's just too much." I shied back, pulling my robe back up around me, like a protective shield.
"No one has ever… approached you?"
"Not exactly…" I bit my lip, not certain I wanted to relive the memories, but I knew I owed it to Joe to attempt an explanation. "There was Koji, but… when I said no, he left. I didn't see him again until… well, you know how that worked out."
"No one else?" he asked gently. "Not…?" I laughed bitterly, anticipating his question.
"No." I replied. "Not Ken. He'd never… not in a million years. But there was one time… when I was captured…"
"Who was it?" Joe growled with sudden fierceness. "Not… Katse?"
"Not Katse." I shook my head quickly, too disgusted to even think of it. "After I had been trapped in the Jigokiller flower, Galactor found me, and held me for days. The guard at my cell, he thought… well, he got the message loud and clear when I broke his arm."
"I imagine so." Joe sounded amused.
"He told his superior he'd fallen." I smiled to myself at the memory. "After that, he couldn't stay far enough away from me."
"So… they never…"
"I wasn't raped, if that's what you're asking." I said quickly. "I always knew that was a possibility, and I damn well did everything I could to avoid putting myself in that kind of position. Although… that one time, I think… if they'd known who I was…" I shuddered. The knowledge of how lucky I had been had crossed my mind more than once over the past couple of years.
"I'm glad they didn't know." he said, softly running his hand along my bared lower arm. "I can't imagine what it would be like, to endure that."
"Well… you can see… why I was nervous?" I stammered. "I… I wasn't trying to be a tease…"
"You're not a tease." he said. "You're not like that, Jun."
"I'm just…." Embarrassment flooded me again as I realized that I was actually talking about this out loud.
"You're just perfect." he said, kissing me tenderly.
"You're very patient." I muttered nervously.
"You're worth being patient for." He nibbled teasingly at my neck. It was a tickling sensation, but it was enough to remind me of the feelings I'd enjoyed a few moments before. I smiled, letting go of my tension, allowing Joe's rare playful mood to relax me. I kissed his shoulder, then nipped it lightly with my teeth. I was rewarded with a grunt of surprise.
"So that's how you want to play…"
"I was just trying to get your attention."
"You've got it, Jun." his expression suddenly turned serious. Slowly, I leaned forward, initiating the kiss myself, inwardly pleased when he responded, following my lead. We shared another kiss, and another, each one lasting longer than the one before. That lightheaded feeling returned, and all I was aware of was the warm tingling coursing through me… sensations that intensified wherever Joe touched my skin. I allowed myself to relax, knowing that whatever happened, it would be something that both of us wanted.
I wriggled on his lap, sighing happily as I let myself be overwhelmed by Joe's kisses. I was floating, and this time, when his fingers brushed at the base of my throat, and over to my shoulders, it felt right. His hands slipped around, behind my neck, to my back, massaging my skin underneath the robe, turning my muscles to water as his magic flowed through me. I pulled myself closer to him, running my fingers curiously up and down his sides, exploring the muscular ridges of his perfect form.
"Jun…" he murmured, breaking our kiss so that his mouth could travel down the column of my throat. His lips left a burning trail along my skin, but rather than being afraid, I welcomed the sensation, embracing it with an excitement that left me gasping. Joe's kisses rained lower and lower, all along the skin exposed by my robe. His fingers traced lines along that boundary, lightly dipping beneath, but holding back, waiting for my approval.
"Oh… Joe…" I moaned, internally wrestling with desire and prudence. It wasn't long before prudence was sent on its way and desire won out. I reached up, placing my hand over his, pushing the terry fabric aside so that he could continue his tender ministrations. His fingers reached down, reverently caressing my breast until it burned, craving something more. I kissed him hungrily, communicating my passion to him without words. His head bent down, and I felt his mouth on my breast, tormenting and teasing as he had done with my throat. Yet this flesh was more sensitive than the other, and had been made more so by his teasing touch. Joe's lips and tongue worked like an electric shock on my skin, simultaneously giving and denying the satisfaction I craved. Just when I thought I could take no more, he shifted, lavishing my other breast with the same treatment. A part of me longed to reciprocate, to engender in Joe the feelings that I was myself experiencing. Yet I didn't know how to go about such a thing. I settled for murmuring appreciatively, running my hands along his bare back, threading my fingers through his hair, hoping that he understood.
I sensed a feather-light touch on my thighs, tickling between them, encouraging them to part. Unconsciously I complied, until I realized where his fingers were heading. Nervously, I stiffened, the pleasure of the moment dissolving in a cold rush of fear. Joe paused, raising his head, kissing me lightly again, drawing away my apprehension with his gentle touch.
"It's okay." he murmured, his breath heavy next to my ear. "We can stop."
"I don't want…" I was finding it difficult to express myself. I didn't want to stop, and yet I didn't want to go on. I looked into Joe's eyes, searching for an answer. What I found was concern. Joe cared about me and what I was experiencing, not for his own needs.
"Slowly…" I whispered.
"Slowly." he agreed, pressing his lips onto my shoulder. Gently, he laid me down on the bed, then stretched out beside me. I squeezed my eyes shut, wondering if I was doing the right thing, going through with this. But as he held me tenderly, I began to relax, remembering whom I was with. Joe was someone I had known and trusted for most of my life. I knew he would never hurt me: would never do anything to cause me a moment's pain, if he could prevent it.
He began his attentions anew, moving at a leisurely pace, kissing, caressing and stroking my body, re-igniting the flame that had previously been burning inside of me. Every square centimeter of my skin felt bruised: swollen, tender and aching for something I couldn't even describe, much less name. I had asked Joe to move slowly, and he followed that instruction scrupulously, even when my body began wishing otherwise, so eager was I for the pleasurable sensations he was engendering within me. An hour ago, I could never have imagined being so impatient for something I had never experienced.
I felt the weight of his hand on my thigh, and mentally I tensed, anticipating his next move. Yet there was none. Joe's hand remained in place, even as the rest of me was being aroused.
Only once I was completely and utterly relaxed did he move his hand again, ever so slightly, dropping his fingers down between my legs. Again I tensed, and again he did not pursue matters further. He simply waited until I could accept this new experience, then proceeded slightly further.
I wasn't aware of the passage of time, though at some point it occurred to me that the sun had gone down, and the only illumination in the room was the soft glow from streetlights far below our tower room. Still, with my enhanced sight it was more than enough to witness Joe's caring expression as he touched me, his desire to please me superseding all else.
It was this, more than anything else, which caused me to give myself up utterly to his gentle ministrations. My arms snaked around his neck, and I pulled him close for a kiss, eyes closed, moaning softly as he continued working his magic. It was as if he knew my own body better than I. Something flickered against the most intimate part of me, and I gasped as a bolt of sweet electricity shot through my body. The flickering came again, once, twice, three times in quick succession, each time shocking me to the core, sending me spiraling out of control. I felt it again, and the resulting sensations flooded my entire body as something burst inside my core, sending its painful sweetness to every part of me, inside and out.
My eyelids fluttered, and as everything slowly came into focus, I was aware of only one thing: Joe. His face was next to mine, staring down at me with a strange mixture of intensity and awe. There was so much I wanted to say, but I found that I was unable to express myself in words. Instead I cradled his cheek in my palm, our eyes locked in a potent gaze, our emotions welling up to the surface and merging together until I couldn't determine whose feelings were whose. I was experiencing every part of it, enthralled by the wonder of this newfound intimacy.
"You're so… beautiful…" he whispered, his eyes never leaving my face. "Every part of you…"
"Joe, I… I don't know what to say. 'Thank you' just doesn't seem like enough…"
"Whatever pleasure you feel, it's far less than you deserve."
"But I never thought…" My words drifted off as I slowly became aware of a hard, throbbing pressure against the side of my leg. My eyes widened as I realized what it was.
"Joe, I didn't realize…" I reached down, tentatively approaching his abdomen, curiosity combining with the aftermath of lust to create a recklessness I hadn't known I was capable of. His towel had come loose, and there was nothing between the press of our flesh.
"Jun, please…" He caught my hand, preventing it from moving further. "I don't think I could take that. This is difficult enough as it is." I nodded slowly, coming to the realization that there was more. That what I had experienced was only the beginning.
"I'm ready…" I whispered. "I want to know…"
"Are you sure?" he asked, his eyes searching mine. "It will hurt."
"I've been hurt before." I replied. "I'm used to that. But you have only brought me joy. Whatever pain goes with that, I can endure."
"It won't be… I won't be… the same." he cautioned.
"You'll be Joe." I smiled. "That's all that matters."
He shifted slightly, moving his body on top of mine, his weight spreading itself across my torso. He was heavier than I expected, but his mass wasn't uncomfortable; rather, the smoldering press of his skin against mine was exciting, stimulating every nerve ending, connecting the two of us in a way I hadn't anticipated. He kissed me, but this time the touch of his mouth wasn't gentle and teasing. It was hard and demanding, stoking the fires of my ardor and insisting that I give back in equal measure. I rose to the challenge, meeting him with every action, every emotion, every intensity he desired. His hands pushed away the last of my robe, freeing my arms. My lusts rose in response, and my hands ran down his back, then daringly below his waist. I explored his hard flesh, smoothing and enticing the skin below my fingertips.
His hand pushed between my thighs, but I was no longer afraid. His burning hardness pressed inside of me, but only to the smallest degree. Joe paused and I moaned my disappointment, my hands clutching at his hips. He pulled back, then thrust hard, sending a shot of pain through that sensitive part of me. I screamed softly, but my distress melted away as soft kisses rained down upon my face and neck.
"Jun… Jun… Jun…"
His voice murmured in my ear, and I could sense his hesitation. Yet the pain was gone, and all that remained inside of me was a yearning hunger too strong to be denied. I undulated my body, urging him to continue. Joe began to stir again, slowly at first, but his movements quickly became faster and faster. Instinctively I wrapped my legs around his hips, contracting my thighs as my body convulsed with the pleasure of our intimate contact. His hands grabbed at my shoulder and my waist, gripping me so tightly that it felt as if he was digging into my skin. He groaned heavily, pulling me even closer against him, my passion-filled cries adding to the sounds of our joining.
I couldn't sense my body anymore. All I could feel was the pleasure within me, eager to break free once more. It seemed as if it would overflow, yet still, it held back, though I longed to set it free. Joe's mouth fell on mine, his tongue thrusting in and out in an unconscious imitation of the actions of our lower bodies. I felt myself begin to soar, and my inner self contracted around him. He stiffened, emitting an almost animal-like sound of satisfaction punctuated by my sharp cry of ecstasy. I crashed over the edge, falling down into the welcoming blackness below.
When I finally emerged, it was to feel Joe's body wrapped around mine, his embrace engulfing me, as if I were a part of him. I sighed happily, snuggling further against his warm skin.
"Joe…" I murmured. "So wonderful…"
"I was about to say the same thing."
"That you're wonderful?" I teased.
"No, that you are." He turned my head so that he could kiss me again, his touch tender and gentle once more.
"I'm not sure why I was so afraid…"
"The unknown is frightening, Jun. But you overcame your doubts, and you have no regrets…?" This last was voiced as a question, and I sensed an endearing vulnerability just below the surface of Joe's emotions.
"No regrets." I assured him, kissing him back. "I could never regret something like this, with the person who means more to me than anyone…"
"I didn't know if I'd ever be able to become involved with anyone again." Joe admitted. "Ever since Lucy, I've had to hold myself back. It was just too much…"
"You were with her, like this, during the Ifriquian Rally…?"
"Yes." Joe admitted. "And even then, I never guessed what she had become. I think that's why it was impossible for me to think about being with anyone, after that…"
"Joe…" My heart broke as I began to understand the loneliness he must have been suffering all of this time.
"Until now." he whispered, pressing his body against mine. "Until you."
"It feels right, being with you like this." I told him.
"It feels right to me too." he agreed. "Although I think we may have to tone it down a bit."
"Hmmm? Why?"
"It seems my concerns about hurting someone were valid." he noted, brushing his fingers along my shoulder. I looked down, only to see a colorful bruise appearing.
"What is that?" I found more bruises along my legs and torso, although I couldn't feel any pain at all.
"You're not the only one." Joe added in an amused tone, revealing deep black marks along the sides of his hips, where I had grasped him with my thighs. "You've got a powerful grip, Jun."
"They'll heal quickly." I hedged.
"A couple of days." he agreed. "But how do we explain this to Dr. Raphael?"
"Maybe… maybe we don't." I said thoughtfully. "We've been gone a week already, and he said he would be at Ebiza Island in ten days… Perhaps we should just meet him there."
"I like that idea." he agreed, turning me around so that he could kiss me properly. "We need a chance to rest."
"You'll get no rest from me, Condor Joe."